The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

@purplesparklydinosaur welcome.
I love an allotment. I might get one myself as my new garden is small. No room for massive veg.

Lots of us on this thread started drinking to deal with trauma. Well done for giving up thus far. I personally don't want the shame and poor health of middle aged boozing.

Hi @purplesparklydinosaur. I'm new too - just started here yesterday. Well done on making the decision, and that allotment sounds lovely!

@WendyWagon I hope today is better. It’s stressful enough moving without all that additional drama.

@stilldumdedumming I hope you enjoyed your morning workout.

@purplesparklydinosaur welcome! I’m in the situation I am because of mother related trauma. Have been NC for ten years this time around and will never engage with her again. She’s a monster, but it’s all on me how I react and respond to that trauma. Alcohol is no longer required.

Going for a walk on the beach today, and taking it easy. I have been trying to lose weight but have been eating too much chocolate. 😡

Hi everyone

I don't want to start my own thread and think this one may be the one for me

Think I have had the first Friday AND Saturday sober In a long time...

I don't usually drink on Fridays anyway so that's positive however I really need to make a change

In the last 2/3 weeks I have put myself in some really dangerous situations that have been caused by alcohol,

1- being completely lost in a big city having to find my way to a major train station literally stumbling around lost having no idea how I made it to where I needed to be, needing to look back at my fitness tracker to try and piece together how I got there

2 and 3 were deciding to walk from where I was to home after drinking far too much and walking around at 2/3/4am clearly intoxicated, anything could have happened

Thank god nothing happened to me but its a wake up call

The hangovers, I cannot handle them, On more occasions than I can admit to I've been travelling on disgusting trains after too many the night before and being sick in the horrible toilets- but this is the sheer volume of alcohol that's the problem.

I've read many threads on here- so many people talk about coming from families where boozing is normal and that's my family. I want to break the cycle for my kids

Enjoy your walk @rothbury. Don’t beat yourself up on the chocolate- start with what’s killing you, to quote Holly Whitaker. I was feeling bad yesterday about my diet, but then suddenly thought “I am doing all this sober!”. I think we need to be kinder to ourselves.

Welcome @Switchingup ! Do you have a plan for becoming jalcohol free? I found reading quit lit helped - I’d recommend The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catharine Gray as a starting point.

Well reading through here is step1

I have a street party today which usually I would dread but 2 of my neighbours are not drinkers anyway, my other neighbour drinks very moderately so I got myself some zero alcohol wine which I liked when I was pregnant mixed with tonic, also some sharp rhubarb mixer drink too I don't think I'll even miss the gin (hopefully)

Dh asked me if I'm becoming a "non drinker" and I said I'm having some time off it I'll see how I go... today will be the tester....

This thread is full of inspiration- thank you all for posting and starting it

I'm on day 7 but it's been quite a tough weekend to be honest. I was at a party last night and a street party today - felt like absolutely everyone was drinking and enjoying it.

Just having a bit of a wobble thinking "maybe I've over-reacted, I wasn't that bad, I should just give moderation another try and be like everyone else". Luckily I was just reading the part of the Sober Diaries where Clare has exactly these thoughts so that helped.

The thing is @BraveMaeve, some of those people at the party haven’t had another drink all year, and their next drink will be at a wedding in September. Others will steadily increase their consumption, and some will carry on drinking after the party and end up in a dreadful state.

Do you honestly think anyone drinking was enjoying themselves more than you? Would you have enjoyed it more if you had alcohol?

Were there other non drinking people there having a great time? It’s a myth that alcohol brings joy. It brings arguments, poor health, bad judgment, poor finances and low self esteem.

I’m sorry it’s been tough @BraveMaeve but well done on holding out. Don’t forget you only see a snapshot of people at these events, not their story. We don’t know how many of those people started out this morning thinking “today I will just have two glasses and stop”, then wake up at 3am feeling sick and guilty. We don’t know how many people are secretly happy that the street party gives them a good excuse to drink all day. We don’t know who is white knuckling it on af rose, desperate to get home. I’ve been all of those people

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife and @rothbury, you're exactly right - I can't compare myself to others, I have no idea what their situation is.

I've had an AF beer and feeling better. Also, I've realised I don't really genuinely fancy a drink, I just feel a kind of petty "well if they can do it why can't I" - and I can get past that, I'm not a toddler!

Hello all. Hope you are having a good time today. Welcome to our new friends! @Switchingup well done on your brave step in coming to find us. I also recommend Catherine Grey's Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. For me, there is much there, similar to what you describe in your post, which is familiar to me and plenty of wise tips and advice. It's not easy but it is worth it.

I made it through to today on just the chocolate milkshake. Big street gathering here, with much in the way of drink. Some had started drinking when putting up the tables last night and hadn't stopped. My team won the quiz - my prize was, inevitably, a bottle. 😭I quietly swapped it for some biscuits. The killer cocktails have come out now, so the dog and I have retreated indoors and here. They will be pushing through until dawn.

I was very, very tempted. HOWEVER - a couple of the refugees from last night look utterly grim and are still drinking. The person on my quiz team writing the answers was so pissed that they struggled to spell the simplest of words (took them four tries to get "Greece" down on paper). Loud singing has now commenced. However much I think I want a drink, I don't want any of THAT.

I'm glad I don't have to encounter their bathrooms tomorrow morning. And some of them have got little kids.

I would have loved to have a few drinks. But I know that I can't, and I feel less bad about that than I thought I would.

And the home-brewed bottle of "Expresso Martini" that appeared look like Satan's stool sample for the rectal clinic in Hades. 😬

Strength and love to you. xx

@BraveMaeve well done for getting through that tough bit. It WILL get better, your body is still getting rid of the last traces of the drink. The "just one won't hurt" voice will be back, probably with its mates. I'm sorry. But you can do this. You are strong. And very brave too. x

Garden party with neighbours today. Drank some lovely AF fizz.

Now home feeling relaxed and sober.

Day 28 for me. Still doing TNM . Tbh each day I don't think I need to do it but I usually find something that chimes with me and am keeping note of which videos would be good to rewatch.

Morning lads.
I am up early for strong Yorkshire tea.
I can't find the biscuits (I only like shortbread). The dog is outraged.
I used the oven yesterday in the new house but I will miss my Aga. I am not having one this time when my new kitchen gets fitted. Old people need wall ovens. I find I can't bend down with heavy hot pans. I shall have a hide and slide like those on Bake Off.
No street party here but next door was having a barbecue when we returned from more moving tasks. No introduction yet and we definitely have a 'watcher' over the road. A few hellos but we have had a car parked outside our house for 5 days and it hasn't moved. It reminds me of our SW London days, the DH is getting a bit perturbed about it.
My plants are coming into today and I shall be weeding away. I shall be thinking of you @rockingbird
Welcome to @Switchingup and congrats to all who the survived the festivities AF. I am so knacked and dusty I couldn't boogie if I tried!
Have a peaceful day my friends.

Morning all, nice strong Yorkshire Gold here this morning. I'm actually in the garden again today @WendyWagon second cut and reseed before the rain comes. I'm also building (re-building) a shed ☺️ bought secondhand locally. I'm making my own base and got a friend who promised to help me put it together.. loving this new handy diy bird I've become! I bought a jigsaw and workbench last week, proper on-it with this house do-er-upper lark. Enjoyed the concert last night on TV but thought Lionel was a bit of a let down 🫣 it's been a lovely weekend so far. Hope you are all getting some sunshine and enjoying the extended weekend break xx

Morning all. Been away for a while and haven’t caught up with the thread yet. But sending a big welcome to newbies.
making some big changes in my life at the moment, I’m scared and excited all at the same time and very grateful to be sober.

Morning all. Although yesterday was difficult I've woken up on my birthday today hangover-free and feeling better. I suspect I would have drunk quite a lot over the course of the day at the street party yesterday.

I read further back in the thread someone saying they occasionally missed the 'good drinks' (ie a glass of wine in a sunny beer garden) but knew they couldn't have those without the 'bad drinks' - this is how I have to look at it.

Genuinely feel very appreciative of this thread, it's so helpful reading about your experiences and your words of support.

Happy birthday @BraveMaeve 🥳

Rats. I have had what TNM calls a data point. Basically we ended up with some bottles of wine left over from yesterday party. I put them away in a difficult to get to place but still did.🙁

Drank half a bottle. Threw the rest away. Learnt my lesson - cannot have wine in house at moment. Have now moved them to very difficult to get to place.

We've got lots of other drinks in house that I haven't even thought about drinking.

I think the other thing that triggered it was a small positive development on my stressful family situation. It'll still be weeks before it's resolved but am feeling less obsessed about it and that meant there was space in my mind for other thoughts.

Am cross with myself but trying to focus on what I have learnt from this.

Welcome to all the new starters (and the re-joiners). Sending solidarity to those trying to overcome blips.

I've nailed the drinking but I'm having a horrible time with sugar. I'm hiding / not buying trigger foods but I'm really lacking in self control so its not going well. I'm still AF though and I'll take that.

Had a lovely weekend. Saturday we had a tea party and watched the Coronation on a picnic blanket in the living room. The rain was awful (I'm in London)

Yesterday was a family birthday and we went to BIL and SIL to take advantage of the sun, their massive garden and their unending hospitality.

I did feel a bit of a pang watching everyone drinking Pimms out of beautiful oversized glasses. I grabbed a big glass and made the most divine glass of posh fizzy water and fruit.... and I had as good a time as everyone on the Pimms.

I wasn't missing the booze. More the feeling of joining in and having that pretty drink. I am glad it's an easy choice for me these days.

Just so I don't forget - what I have learnt is that half a bottle of wine has given me a terrible headache all day and feeling tired and fed up. Was it worth it - no.

Managed to get some gardening done before torrential rain set in. Back to work tomorrow.

@Crunchymum - you've done so well. I remember you from DJs past. Glad you enjoyed the party.

@Cherrymix Oh, bless you. Please don't beat yourself up. Most of us have faltered at some point along the way. I certainly have, many times over. I daresay I might stumble again myself. I REALLY hope I won't and am doing everything I can to be strong - but I'm not naïve enough to say "I never will".

Do what you need to look after yourself, accept the learning aspect and experience for what it is, then dust yourself down and keep striding forwards. You can do this. It will be alright. xxx

@Crunchymum I hear you on the sugar think. I'm downing enough chocolate (and occasional other flavours) milkshake to keep an entire dairy herd on the hoof. But, as you say, I'll take that.

Strength and love to you all. xx

Hello bunnies I have read your posts on previous threads. I hope your new endeavour goes well.

Happy Birthday @BraveMaeve

I have eaten my body weight in chocolate today. Feeling sick and disgusted with myself but at least it’s not alcohol.

I'm on day 129 and still going strong. I'm trying to tackle the sugar but have had a few days off and scoffed my face with...everything. Back on the wagon tomorrow. Well done everyone.

Day 129?
This is amazing

My dream goal