The support thread (continued) for an alcohol free life. All welcome.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome to the alcohol free support thread. We are a welcoming bunch. These threads were started by @drybird some three years ago.
We are a mixture of sober sisters (and the odd gent) who want to lead a alcohol free life. We chat about everyday things that we use to drink to manage. No question too silly. Someone will have done/thought or been through the same.

Gosh. Lots of chat to catch up on. I have been watching Race Across the World and exploring smart recovery videos, which I found very helpful.

I've been thinking about things to fill my free non drinking time - first on list is to work out who is who on this thread properly so that can write a full on name check post

Thanks @rothbury and @Fortheloveofgodwhy . My shift tonight is awful and has confirmed I’m making the right decision. A useful quote I read was that the key to staying sober was building a life you don’t want to escape from - so I am taking steps to make sure I can build that life.

Just need to be conscious of the thought that the best thing I can give my family is to be AF - nothing will be better than that. Everything else will be achievable as long as I stay AF. 🙏💪❤️

Morning all.
Moving day today!
I had to get up and have a wee. Bloody middle age.
I have downed a Yorkshire tea.
I actually drank a diet coke yesterday which hit the spot. I am usually not a fan. I was covered in packing dust and desperate.

@2023forme congrats on making changes. I have decided to say no to all future 'fukwitt' bosses. Life is too short and you know Forme* your DC will forgive you. We can't change the past but we can be a different person any day we chose.
Mine DS keeps telling me how well I have done. You have done well too. Clarity of mind starts to creep in after three weeks. I made lots of decisions including ending a legal challenge with my ex employer. I told them to stick their bonus. However I did also get a huge dig in on my ex colleague who forced me out. 'Satan in a Suit'. I still hold the grudge but it felt marvellous and I did it sober!

I suspect we will inherit another dog next week. Millie the spaniel. She is 10 and DDs friend distraught re rehoming as she thinks they will put her down due to her age. Mr Cockerapoo will be delighted, DH grumpy. She's tiny so I count that as a cat 🙀

Good luck moving @WendyWagon !

Morning campers. @Cherrymix don’t feel obliged to remember everyone. Many of us (me anyway) tend to come and go. I have a flurry of posting for a few days and then life gets in the way - or I get engrossed in an AIBU and forget to check my notifications.

@WendyWagon have a great moving day. Hope you’ve got the milk chilling

therapy Thursday today. Again I’m wondering what I will say… it always starts the same and I always drop and emotional bombshell with 5 mins left. The old sub conscious is a great time keeper

laters

Best of luck with the move @WendyWagon ! Wishing you every happiness in your new home

Good morning everyone. The coffers here at Hotstepper Towers are severely depleted now after the fridge freezer packed up adn we were told we needed a new loo - both on the same day! Thank heavens for our lovely neighbour who has gone away, but left us her keys so we can use her fridge until we get sorted, which should be Saturday.

In other news, having quietly passed my first soberversary, I am now trying to deal with my excessive chocolate consumption. Three days and I am chuffed to be half a pound down. Small beer compared to a friend who does Slimming World and has now lost the equivalent of me, but I think that's a satisfactory start.

If there are elections in your area, please go and vote.

Have a nice day!

Happy moving day WW hope it goes smoothly for you ❤️

@WendyWagon Good luck with your move and a new dog maybe, how lovely!
TheOtherHotstepper Many congratulations on your soberversary, I cant imagine being strong enough to manage a year.
Its day 3 for me and even though I managed the pub quiz quite happily last night without a drink, the exhausting arguing with myself about buying wine started on my way home from work. I think it will be a constant nagging need all night.🙄

Well done on day 3 @millypeggyandpandora AND surviving the pub quiz! I promise it will get easier, but I know these early days are really hard. After 4-5 days most of the after effects of alcohol have left your system, and your cortisol (stress hormone) levels are back to normal by about day 10. So you’re nearly through the hardest part

Hello all

Two months alcohol free

What a joy

I couldn't deal with the hanxiety any longer

I don't miss it

Sending lots of good wishes to everyone

Onewildandpreciouslife
thank you 🙏 for your kind words, I didn’t know about cortisol levels stabilising, I can’t wait to feel sober AND relaxed 😌

Wow you are such a lovely and eloquent lot - thank you so much for your lovely words of welcome! @Onewildandpreciouslife , @WendyWagon , @REP22
@Fortheloveofgodwhy, @rothbury (hope I haven't missed anyone!)

You've given me lots to think about and I've read your messages a few times now, it's really given me a boost in these first few days.

I was on these threads for a bit last year and was doing well, then decided I was fine to start having the odd drink and... you can guess the rest.

What has made me want to really stop for good is something quite random really. I went to a family lunch on Sunday and was quite hungover from the night before - but we were just sat at home drinking wine in front of the TV the night before, there was absolutely no reason for me to have drunk almost a bottle of wine and then feel rubbish the next day, to the extent where I had a glass of wine with lunch mainly because I knew I'd immediately feel better (I did) rather than because I fancied it. It's not a story to make them fall off their chairs at AA but it really clarified something in me - I'm not in control and perhaps haven't been for quite a while.

Something I've read a lot of you comment on here is how free you feel when you don't have that voice in your head all the time debating with yourself whether you should drink/how much you should drink etc. I want to be free of this!

I've taken note of some of the recommended books. I'm re-reading the Sober Diaries by Claire Pooley which I find brilliant, and will look up some of the others also.

Can I join you? I'm day 7. Very chequered history with booze. Problematic since about 2012. Longest stint AF in the last 3 years is about 9 months.

Feeling absolutely exhausted 😩

I know exactly what you mean, the internal arguing with myself is exhausting! I'm day 4 so we're on similar tracks

Hello @Wittow and @thisisasurvivor welcome to the sober room.

It is so lovely to see so many new people here.

@BraveMaeve it doesn’t have to make the AA lot fall of their chairs. It’s about your perception. No one ever told me I drank too much or that I should cut down. But I knew it was too much and I was so dfrustrated and disappointed in myself. I knew the wine witch was there, I knew it made me feel shite. I knew it. And my light bulb moment was discussing having non drinking days with a pal, and our respective OHs and how they never think about drinking. It doesn’t occur to them to monitor it. Something clicked then. Something about trying to moderate it meant it was the booze in control and not me. So I stopped. (Yet again but differently, as an experiment not as a moderation)

And I listen to Allen Carr and to quit lit and I realised it was me in those books and scenarios. I had the problem, I was heading down that path. And something was different about stopping this time. For me once you’ve seen the trap you can’t unsee it.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy yes that's exactly it. Nobody has ever been concerned about my drinking but it's worrying me because I feel I'm not in control anymore.

I've picked quite a tricky week to stop because we have quite a busy weekend socially and it's my birthday next week. It would be a lovely present to myself to have taken some positive action on this though.

Evening all. Had a mad busy day at work and have had to do more work this evening. What with that and fretting about family situation, which cannot be resolved for weeks, and wondering what to make for local Coronation buffet, I have not thought much about drinking.

Well apart from thinking that I could make the evening work easier with a glass of wine - how dumb is that. Sit down to something that involves a lot of concentration and at the same time drink something that is going to slow down your brain and stop you thinking straight. I think its a subconcious proteset about having to work in the evening.

Anyway have a nice sober sleep all.

Bravemaeve
I hope you had a deep sober sleep and now into your 5 th day!
Friday night is a night I usually let the wine witch have total control and I always drink a bottle of wine, at least. Luckily I am driving to do a watercolour course with a friend, so I might be ok 👌

@Onewildandpreciouslife thank you for the cortisol info I needed that!

@Cherrymix my adult son is totally tea (as we call it). He says he doesn't have time for that assault on his energy levels. He says nobody has ever said 'I know what will sort out doing my year end accounts - I'll have a bottle of wine - that will motivate me!'

I'm at the point where I am agog at how much booze there is in our society. I have hated that for a long time.

I'm off to an AF weekend camp at the beginning of June. We have a great time - better for no booze for sure.

Good afternoon shipmates.
Day 2 of the move. Just hit the tricky bit re too much storage and not enough vans. Could be stressful.
I snook out and bought a few plants this morning and a Marks green tinny.

Hello! Friendly wave to all. 👋

Had a fantastic night at the pub quiz in the week. Our team came second! It's been so long since I had so much fun, and I was on orange juice with lemonade all night. I was trying to remember the last time I had a truly fun, great night out with friends, when I utterly enjoyed myself without drink being involved.

It was 2011.

That was a bit of a stark thought, but helped me last night, when I was really climbing the walls after a tough work meeting, issues with the dog (was due to have his love-spuds removed at the vets, but was too afraid for the injection and so all had to be aborted. Bless him.) and more nonsense at home (hundreds of pounds spent on religious booklets to be forced upon unwilling and unwanting strangers "for the Coronation" 🙄😡). It was a real struggle not go to the shop for a jog down vodka street last night. But I managed it, and so on we go. Two weeks AF for me now.

Strength and love to you all. Keep going. xx

@WendyWagon Ahoy there Captain! Sorry to hear about the moving/van stress. Any chance you could dial up an Uber or two for shifting some of the smaller bits so there's more space in the van(s) for the big-ticket items?

Hope it all goes OK. xx

@millypeggyandpandora thank you! I'm at the cinema tonight which is ideal as I am with you on Fridays being difficult. Hope you enjoy watercolouring.

Happy Friday AFLers. I’m doing this on my phone whilst waiting to pick DS up from train station so apologies for not name checking anyone but I am reading your posts. It’s great to be able to say “yes, no problem” when asked for a lift!

Day 24 for me and I know I will not drink today. I am still on the Antabuse so it does feel a bit like cheating - I can’t drink, even if I wanted to! But at least I am taking it every morning and not pretending/throwing it down the sink like I did before. The real challenge will come when I stop taking it but fingers crossed by then my brain will be rewiring itself and I’ll have lots of tools in my toolbox.

DH said after my last bender that he wouldn’t drink in front of me to support me. he said cutting back wouldn’t do him any harm, save money etc etc. he’s gone to the pub a couple of times and had a few beers. But it’s Friday and I can see he’s really hating it to not have some beers at home tonight. It wouldn’t bother me at all if he did but I think he feels he can’t go back on it. It’s not an issue, just an interesting observation. Fridays such a big trigger for lots of people.

Hope you all have a great weekend and KOKO ❤️