The Freedom Thread (continued) - A thread for people wanting to enjoy an alcohol free life. Everyone welcome!

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

This is a thread for people who want to live an alcohol free life! These threads were started about three years ago by @DryBird2020 and they have been a continued source of support for people at all stages of sobriety. Whether you are one day, one month or one year sober - You are welcome! The only thing we ask if that you have committed to stopping drinking when you join the thread (as talk to drinking or moderation may be triggering to some of our posters).

My name is @Bunnies and I am almost 1000 days sober, in no small part thanks to this amazing supportive community. I hope to see many new and old posters on this thread!

Happy sober 2023 all!

What a great post @PosiePerkinPootleFlump!!! Thanks for sharing!

Welcome back @Kindtomyself! How are you?

So nice to see you here @ElsaCragg!
@WendyWagon sober dancing is great! I rarely go out to dance but we have many kitchen boogies with the kids😀 The way children dance surely shows we don’t need booze for dancing😂

Morning all

Another thing I've noticed is how, if I had drinking plans later in the day, how I'd be constantly clock watching in anticipation of cracking open whatever. Whereas as now I'm more 'in the moment'

Welcome posie. Great post, thanks for sharing. I agree, all the things I did before with alcohol can do now without it. And I would say that all these things are better.

Lovely to see you ElsaCragg I remember your name from my early days. It's great to see you ars still AF.

Hi all, I’m new to the thread.

I’ve been sober curious for a while and had read the Unexpected Joy of Being Sober with a view to being AF for a few months at least - I’m trialling ADHD medication in the next year and it’s not compatible with alcohol so I wanted to own it a bit. Plus December has been boozy and I was feeling shocking with a permanent hangover basically.

However on NYE I went out to the pub and fell over on my way home, cracked my head open in two places and am covered in cuts and bruises. The shame and embarrassment when my family and friends saw me the next day with a big gash on my forehead was awful. I just don’t see how I can ever drink again, for the sake of my daughters and family, it’s not worth it and I need to regain control and stop putting myself in risky situations.

I only drank at the weekends but I have no ‘off switch’ and tend to be a bit impulsive/wild. I don’t want to be the liability/annoying drunk person anymore. I want to get my energy back and enjoy a life without booze.

This is my Day 2. Thank you in advance for your support.

Welcome @Zebrasandfairytales! your story will be familiar to many. I too have hurt myself and embarrassed myself many times whilst drunk. When you first give up booze you may feel shame and regret about that, one of the hardest things for me was to forgive myself but I have now🙂 I’m at peace with my past and it feels so good. You can feel that too.
hope the ADHD medication will help you a bit too! Feel free to post as much or as little as like, there’s usually someone kicking about offering a listening ear🙂

Happy new year everyone!

I had a streak of 63 days before Christmas then fell off the wagon, not massively, just a few drinks here and there but I could really feel how much affect it had on my mind and body, it was awful.

Back to day 1, hopefully my last one!

Welcome zebrasandfairytales. bunnies is on the nose there. The shame and regret does diminish each day you take a step further away. I like to think that a little reminder creeps in to my brain now and again and it helps to remind me not to go there again. But not so much that it cripples me.

Welcome back Louisepool. You've got a good run of 63 days under your belt. It will be easier this time. It's all a learning curve.

What was that saying someone wise said on one of the earlier threads? i keep trying to remember it
"its ???? not failure "

It's definitely easier with experience @Louisepool. I'm actually finding it a massive relief to be able to say I'm not drinking again (I managed 47 days straight before December and six months a few years ago).
What has occurred to me this time is how anxiety inducing drinking actually is for me (I think someone also alluded to this recently). The 'shall I shan't I drink?', 'how much will I drink'?, coupled with the dread of the hangover and three am panic attack...
NONE of that is fun or remotely enjoyable! The relief and feeling of calm I feel being able to say 'I'm not drinking' is tremendous. I'm also reconnecting with my love of really simple things...a candlelit bath, going to bed early with a cup of tea and a good book, a long walk in the hills with the dog and a podcast. Heaven.

I think of my previous failures as building blocks...like a toddler learning to build a tower with wooden bricks. Every time I start again I'm stronger, wiser and more experienced. My failures form the foundations of my success.

Hello everyone. I would like to join pls. Nearly 50 and drinking 3 or 4 days/wk. Often not much but Enough to feel sluggish and tired the next day. over Xmas had 3 or 4 nights where I totally binged, and could not remember much. Very annoyed with myself. I would love to be AF (and for 30+ years have failed at moderation), I need to emphasise more the positive side of not drinking. I enjoy wine too much, but need to remove it from my life and spend more quality time with people, get better sleep, keep up my jogging, improve skin and general health, and maybe reward myself with something nice to wear at the end of the month if I can stick to this new plan. So today is day 1, I hope I can do this and be back here to report progress in a weeks time (I can’t remember having an alcohol free week in years…..)

Good morning - tea in bed again! Could get used to this..
welcome @FridayImInLove1 and all newbies it’s good to hear from you. This is a great place to find support, gather strategies and rant when needed. My second Christmas and NY dry and feeling content with it, a clear head in the morning is a daily bonus.

@Kindtomyself how are you this week?
@WendyWagon hope your plans are falling into place - think this might be your year.

Good morning, just turned 50 and feeling anxious about life... believe that stopping drinking will help. I have read Alan Carrs books a couple of times and follow posts on TikTok. First day back at work - I'm a teacher ... not sure that I slept for more than an hour at a time. This is day 3 ...

Morning all! I’ve managed to lose 3 draft posts this morning…
@SillyLittleMargaret completely agree that it’s much more relaxing to be AF. Not having to constantly watch myself to see if I had drunk too much (pointless - the answer was always yes) and was embarrassing myself. At least when I embarrass myself now I do it intentionally

welcome to everyone coming back after a spell of drinking - I drank on 16 days between Dry January and Sober Spring last year, and I did my best learning on those days.

Welcome @FridayImInLove1 - you’ll be amazed at the difference in your jogging when you stop drinking! I’m in my mid-50s and this time last year I wanted to build on my running to get to a 10k - I’m running my first half marathon in April, and ran 10 miles on New Year’s Day. Are you reading any quit lit?

Welcome @halfthesun - stopping drinking will give you a life beyond your wildest dreams! Good luck back at work today - do you have a plan for how to unwind at the end of the day? Your sleep is likely to be rubbish for the first few days, so be as gentle with yourself as you can - an early night with a good book is completely justified!

@Breathmiller I liked that saying too - “It’s feedback, not failure”. It really resonated.

I am back to work tomorrow but am feeling so much less anxious about it, and also properly rested. Normally I’ve drunk so much over the Christmas and New Year period that I feel grim. Next step is to try and stop eating like it is Christmas Day every day!

Good luck to those back to work today (me included..) although all the DCs are home until tomorrow.

welcome all the newbs.

Maybe a reminder of the best quit lit we’ve read/listened too for those starting up. I gorged on quitlit for months.. I interspersed humourous ones with fact for probably 4/5 months and had podcasts and blogs on the go too. Audible subscription was my first ‘treat’ and a painting summer course my second… always good to have a target to get to too!

some of my favourites were The unexpected joy of being sober and Rachel’s holiday. For me I first listened to Allen Carr, not a huge fan of his style, it is a bit dated, but the facts and the repetition really work psychologically for me, the stop smoking one was the one which stopped me smoking 16 years ago. I’ve got the sugar one ready for starting in the next few days!

Morning all! Tea in bed for me too @AlloftheTime although I have to get up in a sec as the Sainsburys order is due!

A gradual return to work for me today.. have remembered all that admin I bunged in a drawer before Christmas.. argh!

Good luck to all the other returners.. definitely easier with a clear head!

Day 3 for me. I have got covid which makes me feel urghh generally and no desire for the usual nightly bottle of red wine at all. Every cloud!.....

Good morning lads, morning all newbies.

@SillyLittleMargaret i love the saying 'my failures are the foundations of my success'. Did you create that? I would like to quote it.
I am a bit crock again (RA) but had fab news overnight about the new beauty company.
All systems go.

@halfthesun i didn't sleep properly for 20 years. I thought it was because of dc and my creepy old house. I now get at least 8 hours straight. Funny how I started the heavy drinking 17 years ago. Sleep was odd for the first month. Lots of dreams when first af. I was a marvel character this week and I have been af a year this week.

Morning all.

I'm on Day 3 (again) feeling positive after some massive bumps in the road. I'm ok thanks @AlloftheTime and @BunniesBunniesBunnies. Hope you are too?

Someone was talking about quitlit. I'm currently reading Alcohol Explained and it is teaching me so much, I would highly recommend it.

@WendyWagon - I've had a quick google and it seems that tons of people have used that analogy and claimed the credit for it over the years!

@Fortheloveofgodwhy Is Rachel’s Holiday quit lit? I’m struggling so could do with some good quit lit. Think I’ll read/listen to ‘alcohol explained’ for starters.

@SillyLittleMargaret i completely agree about the relief and ease you feel when you decide you’re not going to drink again, it really takes the weight off your shoulders rather than feeling anxious about stopping which I think is a step forward in the process.

day 2 now and feeling much better already ❤️

@Kindtomyself be gentle with yourself and firm with your intentions. This is a journey strewn with obstacles so don’t make it tougher by berating yourself.
have the best day you can 💐

Morning oldies and newbies, rejoiners and those riding a blip.

Here's to a magnificent, AF 2023.

Back to work today (I worked last week too, albeit I work from home so not too much of a hardship but I didn't have too much of extended break) I find routine and having a schedule keeps me on track in all aspects of life. The kids all go back tomorrow, mine are little weirdo's who all love school 😂

For those asking about quit lie, I liked the Annie Grace "30 day experiment" and you read a chapter a day and you kind of read it as you went along. I have read a few other books over the years but this was the one I used when I went AF back in Feb 2022.

It's funny what you say @Fortheloveofgodwhy about Allen Carr. I used his book to stop smoking almost 12 years ago and I have never had so much as a craving or a twinge, I honestly feel like I never smoked [was minimum 15 fags a day for 15 years and double that when I drank and even 12 years ago I liked a drink!!] but oddly his alcohol book never resonated with me? Maybe it's because I knew the strategy and was still reluctant to be AF? It just wasn't for me. That is not to say it won't be good for others, I credit this method with stopping me smoking and never looking back!!!

I may have to try his sugar book though as sugar is my new nemesis!

Feeling positive for 2023 but have lots on this month. We have just moved over to a new system at work as despite "training" it is a complete mess. We are really struggling to do even the basics (I am admin for a sales and finance team, its year end - we need to be able to function!!). I have both DC2 and DC3 birthday this month so more expense and sugar (though there will be no champagne toasts this year - madness that I always used to toast the kids birthdays - any excuse an all that)

I have been lurking on the DJ 2023 thread and I need to come away. It's not a good place.