The Freedom Thread (continued) - A thread for people wanting to enjoy an alcohol free life. Everyone welcome!

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

This is a thread for people who want to live an alcohol free life! These threads were started about three years ago by @DryBird2020 and they have been a continued source of support for people at all stages of sobriety. Whether you are one day, one month or one year sober - You are welcome! The only thing we ask if that you have committed to stopping drinking when you join the thread (as talk to drinking or moderation may be triggering to some of our posters).

My name is @Bunnies and I am almost 1000 days sober, in no small part thanks to this amazing supportive community. I hope to see many new and old posters on this thread!

Happy sober 2023 all!

Thank you for the link. I will look at it. I have read Alcohol Explained and a couple of others but they're never enough in the supermarket at 6.30 on a Friday night. I've been trying to do this for a while!

I'm 50 in July so I am roughly thinking of that as a time frame - not that I have much confidence in myself to last a week at the moment.

@MerylSqueak welcome.
I am 57 and was an 'all weekend' drinker. Friday night was wine night and no one was depriving me of it!
I started my af journey on January 8th last year.
My ds (23) set me the '3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months' challenge. It is a theory for breaking or setting habits. Prior to this I had managed 8 weeks af in a 17 year period. I thought I was a happy drunk, I wasn't. I have surprised myself and all around me.
Do I feel better? Hell yes and I am nicer too. My dh was taken ill this morning and last year there was no way I could have helped him. I was nurse Sav on four hours sleep and paid the poor bugger back for all the times he helped me.
Give it your best Meryl. You won't regret it.

I feel like healthy eating has really gone out of the window this week, can’t stop eating and am picking at sweet stuff too…

Anyone else experienced/experiencing this and does it pass? I don’t want to put on loads of weight…

You’re on about day 5 aren’t you @Zebrasandfairytales ? Completely normal to crave sweet stuff - I’d say just go with it, anything to get you through these early days.

The good thing @MerylSqueak is that you know when your weak point is, so you can work round it. Can you go to the supermarket at lunchtime when you’re not tired? What would a successful sober Friday night look like for you? Get your PJs on as soon as you get through the door? Long bath? Early night with a book? Can you plan a treat for yourself for Saturday morning if you don’t drink? If you want to do this, planning and thinking it through really helps, I find

@Onewildandpreciouslife yes! Really up and down and feel a constant urge to eat… going to try and be kind to myself, particularly to get through this weekend.

@Onewildandpreciouslife i think you are owed a congrats on your 1 year? You were a fellow newbie with me as Sav?
Just reading back on old posts (God I was sweary). I think I will start that book I promised. We lads write some funny stuff.
Dear Bunnies you were the first to reach out to me, thank you x

Not yet @WendyWagon - I was on here for Dry January but drank between Dry Jan and Sober Spring, so I count my sobriety from 20 March. But I of course remember you as Sav!

Thank you for that very supportive post @WendyWagon . I really appreciate it.

Likewise @Onewildandpreciouslife although the supermarket is difficult to avoid at that time because ds and I have a routine where I pick him up from a hobby and then he chooses a special dinner for Friday night. It's pretty much the only time we get alone together and we both love it. I can't take him out to eat as DD will be waiting at home ( she always has the same thing but DS loves to choose different things,). I think I am just going to go straight and buy fizzy water which I love while he's choosing and then go back to him so it's not like the wine is waiting at the end for me as usual.

@Zebrasandfairytales I'm the same as you - really craving food at the moment. Especially sweet things! I'm just going with it for now, but in a week or so I'm going to get back to healthy eating. I'm 50 in May and want to be alcohol free, healthy and running again by then. I was running a happy 10k but can just about gasp my way round a 5k at the moment!

Food and sugar cravings are so normal. Don’t deny yourself, I’m 11 months in and thinking about dropping sugar! Eat the stuff you need to to keep off the booze. When you are secure in sobriety worry about the sweet stuff, you won’t put on half the weight you would have without the booze anyway.

@MerylSqueak can you go to a different supermarket or is your DS old enough to know? My DS (12) was the first person I told I wasn’t drinking, then a neighbour. Then DH who walked into the convo with the neighbour… all these were a week or more into it, I had to find my own strength before I could tell anyone else. The kids were very supportive. If you don’t feel ready to tell him, can you also choose a special Soft drink with him? Cranberry juice and lime is good, or try something totally new?

@WendyWagon Sav any special plans for your soberversary? It falls on the weekend 🤣🙄🤭 any news on the house move and how is the DH?

Morning all.

I was in bed at 5pm yesterday with a headache and slept 14 hours! Feel a bit off still but no headache which is good. Just going to have a calm quiet day, I'm working but from home.

Have a good day all

Morning lads.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy husband still poorly but I am planning a special lunch. I have the Sainsbury sparkling af which I haven't tried before. I also need to have a new head shot taken for the beauty company so I may jazz myself up for the day!
The house rumbles on and we hope to move next month. Very exciting as with the new business appointments I need a decent office. New year, new me.
Have a good day all.

Day 8 today which is the most number of consecutive days I've managed without a drink in 14 years. Which is just shocking, I know!
I'm sleeping so much better, as in 7-8 hrs straight through, which is amazing! I used to wake at 3am with my heart racing and brain going 100 mph with crazy thoughts.
Any advice on how to cope with the feelings of restlessness eg sitting still to watch tv etc It's not boredom as such - I'm loving that there's so much more time in my day and have drawn up a list of things that need doing in case I'm tempted to drink.
Also finding I'm doing a lot of "firsts" sober which is both interesting and scary, but they won't always be " firsts" and they'll be my new normal, I know.
Sorry, just waffling....not really anyone in RL who would understand.

I understand that feeling of restlessness @Yerroblemom1923 . I think it might stabilise over time but it's actually this feeling of having too much energy that often prompts me to open a bottle. I'd be really interested to know other people's experiences of it.

How was your lunch @WendyWagon ?

@MerylSqueak it's good to know it's not just me. I think it's probably the combination of more time and more energy (due to feeling healthier) that makes me feel restless and I know I just have to divert that energy somewhere productive rather than quell it with drink. But it is that restlessness that I'm really struggling with, I know I won't give in but it's those times when I'm most tempted.
Really interested to hear others' experiences of this too.

Hi everyone, just checking in after a busy back to school/work week. Not really had time to think about drinking, lots of early nights!
Got some Heineken 0 for tonight and going to try some fancier AF beers tomorrow so I feel like I've had a treat. Got a bottle of the noughty red wine coming tomorrow, I've not tried any AF wines yet and don't have high hopes but red wine is my drink of choice so would be nice if I could find something to slightly fill that void. I've found when eating out I've struggled to find anything to drink and ended up with water which feels boring!
Hope everyone has something nice planned this weekend, here's to waking up hangover free

I am 1000 days sober today🥳🥳🥳
1000 days!!! I honestly would have never thought I could do this. Yet here I am! I’ve learnt so much about myself and though life is still a rollercoaster at times, I love my new life and the new me and I’m so grateful for it.
Thanks all for cheering me on😊

Next milestone will come in April: 3 years!

Morning all. Happy sober Saturday! And congratulations to everyone who managed their first AF Friday night.

I was thinking about the restlessness question. I found it easier with the wineglass in my hand, even if it contained AF wine. I know some people frown on this, but it works for me. Finding the AF alternative that works for you may take a while - trying to replicate your usual drink doesn’t seem to work very well - I have given up trying to find an AF white I like, but supermarket af roses work for me. Also, think about the experience- I bought myself really nice bowl glasses for AF G&T, and have lots of ice.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies - 1000 days? That is EPIC!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Many congratulations, and a heartfelt thanks for all the support you give on this board x

Wow @BunniesBunniesBunnies congratulations! 1000 days is an incredible achievement and an inspiration to us all. I hope you are doing something fun today to commemorate it?

A word on restlessness, I’m at nearly 100 days (this time round) and used to feel compelled to ‘do’ something when I felt restless. (Better sleep, more energy?) So I found myself tidying up, putting on washing, decluttering, doing admin etc). I thought this would give me a sense of accomplishment or achievement (and for some it does) but instead I found myself feeling resentful and frustrated with worse cravings! It took a while to realise I associate alcohol with relaxing and switching off and it was the relaxing behaviour I needed to find a substitute for not the liquid in my glass. In the early days use the money you save from drinking to do nice things for yourself - pampering, online exercise/magazine/tv subscription, new book etc Add things in don’t take things out if that makes sense? Otherwise you risk creating a vacuum and feel deprived and restless!

@Stircrazyschoolmum I definitely agree with not allowing yourself to feel deprived in the early days. Go easy on yourself and treat yourself! I went on a bit of a spending spree in the early days. I bought myself gifts at every milestone😂 Now I don’t feel the same need to buy things for myself - in a way sobriety is the gift (cringe! Sorry!). I might splash out for my 3 year anniversary though! Last year I had a spa day which was AMAZING.

@stir 100 days is a great milestone too!😀👍

Hi could I join you lovely lot? Finally I have had enough of my current binge since my work Xmas party at start of Dec

I’ve done a couple of AF long periods of 6 months ish and they were the happiest I have ever been. Each time I think oh I will just have one ‘ I end up here a couple of months later ! Anyway , happy new year all and well done on such a positive step ! Today I am going to enjoy feeling cosy without alcohol and regift the unopened booze I have left from Xmas !

Congratulations @BunniesBunniesBunnies what a great achievement. Well done.

I have woken up this morning to no hangover and glorious sunshine, which feels like a gift. I slept really well and I am so pleased I didn't drink any wine with dinner last night. DH did offer but I found myself saying I had decided not to any more. I hadn't planned to say anything because I was worried about controversy if I fail but what the hell. I've done it now. Family all very supportive.

Thank you for the tips about restlessness. I had decided to go back to my low carb diet starting Monday, but maybe that's a bit much at the moment, especially if sugar craving comes. I'll just have to be a bit fat a bit longer! I'll have to think what treat.

@MerylSqueak nothing like the feeling waking up having not drunk ! Well done x

Morning sober sisters.

Big congrats to Bunnies. Blinking heck.
Congrats also to @Stircrazyschoolmum

I am stretching my bones in the scratcher. DH has gone back to work but I was up in the night incase he needed help. Poor sausage. Shoulder injury.
Huge news yesterday as I was offered a fab new big cheese job. They also gave me the option to work part time which suits me. Part of my drinking was attached to over working. I am too knacked to want 70 hours weeks again.

AF anniversary tomorrow and I have the supplies in.
Have a peaceful day all.