The Freedom Thread (continued) - A thread for people wanting to enjoy an alcohol free life. Everyone welcome!

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

This is a thread for people who want to live an alcohol free life! These threads were started about three years ago by @DryBird2020 and they have been a continued source of support for people at all stages of sobriety. Whether you are one day, one month or one year sober - You are welcome! The only thing we ask if that you have committed to stopping drinking when you join the thread (as talk to drinking or moderation may be triggering to some of our posters).

My name is @Bunnies and I am almost 1000 days sober, in no small part thanks to this amazing supportive community. I hope to see many new and old posters on this thread!

Happy sober 2023 all!

Hi - been lurking for a while but would love to join. Am on day 2, don't drink everyday but that's creeping up and 1 glass has turned into 2, or 3...it ruins my sleep, heightens my anxiety. It's crept up in my 30s and I don't want to head into my 40s (am 39) and have it creep up even more...I have tried dry Jan and moderation before but I think I just need to take it out the equation all together, the mental effort involved in moderation is not worth it!! Any tips would be gratefully received!

Happy 2023, everyone! Waking up feeling great on NYD never gets tired. It was my 3 year soberversary yesterday and I am loving it as much as ever (thanks for remembering @Blackberryblossom !)

Happy new sober year

Happy 3rd year anniversary drybird what a wonderful achievement. And the achievement of these threads too.

Welcome rumblebear and other newbies. And Welcome back sillylittlemargaret. Its great to see you back here. As I always say at these times I took a lot of falling at the first, second and third hurdle before I realised I was better not moderating. We often need that learning curve for us to really know this is our best way.

Onwards and upwards to a healthy 2023 for all.

@Stircrazyschoolmum thank you. I was away at the time and it was between xmas and NY staying with friends/ family so had to keep things to myself about reasons for going to the UTC. I've had To go cold turkey really as it's a funny time of year to get in to see the docs etc. And NHS on its knees anyway etc etc
I know it's not the best way and did worry about seizures etc but I seem/hope to be over the worst (touch wood)
Thanks for the sugar advice. I've been eating a lot of fruit, mainly bananas, I have no appetite really so finding eating difficult.
That's really interesting about changing Need to WANT. I guess I've been seeing it as I have to do it as I don't want to die. So I could rephrase that as I want to be AF because I want to live.
@WendyWagon thanks for your advice also. I don't have much of an appetite but doing my best to get some fruit in me.

Good to see you back @SillyLittleMargaret x

Hi all, i NEED and WANT to stop drinking. It has become so destructive, I will lose my son if I do not stop, surely that in itself is enough reason, but apparently not…… how did you guys stop yourself from reaching for the bottle in times of stress?

well done all

Congrats @Drybird2020🥳

Welcome back @SillyLittleMargaret!

And welcome @Longstockin. This thread is a great source of support but many of us need and access support in real life as well. To be blunt, if you’re at risk of losing your son do definitely go and see your GP if you haven’t already, they will be able to help. Depending on how much you’ve been drinking it may also not be safe for you to stop without proper support.

There is absolutely no judgement whatsoever on this thread. I too have sought help for my drinking and I’m so grateful to be sober now. Feel free to share as much or as little as you like👍

Thank you 🙏 Drink has always been an issue, I have received help in the past and yes was advised not to stop straight away due to possible fits etc. I have had liver damage which is how my drinking was picked up by professionals. I am currently not receiving any help (hence I’m here, however I have just reached out to AA) myself and son are currently homeless and in emergency housing (b&b) this has been helped by my drinking and destructive behaviours but actually due to domestic violence. I am drinking as always, I haven’t ever really wanted to stop but I am now at that stage where I really do.

I use drink as a crutch in the past it has helped, been the one consistent. It now is the enemy killing every relationship I do not know who I am. I don’t drink every day, I trick myself into believing because I can go a day or 2 without a drink then that is proof I am not an alcoholic!

I know how selfish I am, how utterly disgusting this all is but I am here to be open and honest, I suppose that’s the first step, right?

@Longstockin we all make deals with alcohol until we stop. No story is the same. I drank 4 nights a week and never drove under the influence. However I was ill and not coping with life. I too have attended AA and found it useful. Looking back I never thought I could stop. I did, you can too. Ring your GP ASAP. Attend an online meeting if access is an issue. Smart is another support organisation.

@Longstockin honesty is a great first step, it’s very brave.

@WendyWagon massive well done on your journey. I have been googling the life out of AA i can make the meetings but if I’m honest the embarrassment and shame sends major fear in going so I am thinking maybe online would be the first step. Day 1 almost complete.

Welcome newbies. Loads of tips on here if you read back the threads but mine would be the play it forwards. When you feel like a drink, play it forwards to the inevitable one or 5 too many, the 3am waking with racing heart, the rows, the bleary head, the low mood and snapping. If that doesn’t stop you, defer for an hour, another hour, go for a walk, post here, phone a friend. There are so many other things which are more enjoyable and more relaxing!

I’m at 11 months AF and I now think of drinkers as I do smokers (I was a 20/day smoker until 2006). I see them smoke, I think wistfully about smoking, I smell it and remember the awful smell, sore throat, awful breath, complete denial and inner torment of the addiction. And now I feel rather smug that it isn’t me anymore.

in other news DH cracked open a can earlier.. I casually mentioned he wasn’t doing dry Jan as I had suggested then? And he’s not to moan to me about being achy or feeling off par anymore then 😬😏. If only he was enlightened to the fluffy bunnies eh.

Happy New Year all.

Just popping back on the thread, I was a regular poster in the early days.

I've been AF since October 2019, today is day 1166. Congratulations to @Drybird2020 on your 3 year soberversary, and for starting the original thread. And big thanks to @BunniesBunniesBunnies for keeping the threads going.

To anyone having a wobble, not drinking is the best thing I have ever done. You can't beat the feeling of being totally present and in control. Waking up full of energy after a great night's sleep. Being able to jump in the car or make impromptu plans. Never having to apologise or feel embarrassed about stupid drunken behaviour.

I can't believe that I once gave so much headspace and mental energy to thinking about drinking. These threads have been a big support, even when I haven't been posting.

A Happy New Year to all.

Thank you for starting this thread and I look forward to joining. I am AF from this year onwards. I have dabbled in it a few times and gone back to moderate drinking, however as someone else put it so well earlier, the moderation struggle is not not worth it and I feel so much better without Alcohol . Looking forward to getting rid of all the weight that has crept up due to a few drinks and the careless mindless eating that goes along with it. In my 50's so now or never!

Morning all.
Still processing NYE. The question my friends always ask me is if I miss alcohol. The answer is so complex that I only ever give part of it, but I need to find a better way of answering it. I worry about becoming a messianic bore about sobriety, so tend to downplay the benefits, so I’m a bit cross with myself. If they don’t hear it from me, when will they hear it?

I did a LOT of dancing - videos are emerging of me leading the dancing to ABBA. Turns out I can completely embarrass myself sober as well. Who knew?!

Claiming my seat! I did 10 months sober in 2020, during lockdowns etc, so surely I can do a dry 2023. I cannot moderate. Am 50 years old, it feels like it's now or never.

Morning all
@Onewildandpreciouslife loving the dancing dory - made me smile!
Also you don’t have to give a detailed explanation just keep living your best life. Smile enigmatically and carry on dancing……

Dancing story!!!

@AlloftheTime No, I’ve seen the videos- dancing dory is spot on!

Good morning all.
I love dancing. Haven't tried it sober😀Perhaps there is a class near my new house? My favourite was jazz funk.
Husband still on leave until Wednesday then I am off to start on the new beauty project. A clear head will be very helpful.

Morning all. Still in bed with a cuppa (slightly worried about how I’m going to break this new habit when the kids go back later in the week!) That said, looking forward to getting the tree down and some structure and routine back in my life.

Welcome to the all the newbies and returners. The freeing up of headspace can’t be stated enough as a benefit of going AF. The will I / won’t I, perhaps just a couple, perhaps just this once, the justifications, exceptions, excuses and post drinking rumination, it’s sooo exhausting! I think it was Clare Pooley that used the obstacle course analogy to hammer home the point that the first bit is the hardest.. it gets much easier so don’t keep repeating the hard bit!!

Good morning all.
Great post @EIsaCragg.

I'm back here and looking forward to some calm and clear days with lots of joy and happiness

Having lurked on these threads for some time I'm popping in to actually say hello.

I used to look at these threads and think that I wasn't interested in joining you. Cutting down? Absolutely. But no drinking at all? No thank you. I liked drinking. I didn't want hangovers or to drink too often but of course I still wanted a glass of wine on the terrace on holiday, a glass of fizz wrapping presents on Christmas eve, a beer in the late afternoon sunshine on a summers day.
But my drinking had crept up and up following some stressful stuff going on, and I was definitely drinking too much and for the wrong reasons too often. My sleep was crap. My running goals were falling by the wayside and something needed to change.
I read Clare Pooley's blog, and William Porter's Alcohol Explained and something just seemed to click and it felt positive and relatively easy to stop.... Stopping felt like a good thing, not something to be endured.
I actually did share a bottle of fizz with my partner a few days after stopping, but forced myself to analyse what I was enjoying about it and what I wasn't.
What I enjoyed: sitting down and relaxing and chatting with the man I love at the end of a busy day
What I didnt: having to force myself not to have a G&T after, disturbed sleep, more sluggish the next day.
And then it seemed a bit of a no brainer. I can sit down and relax with my partner without alcohol. Indeed if I had to drink to make that better it wouldn't say much positive about our relationship. So my wobble made the decision to quit easier.
I'm 4 months in now and have done sober festive season and whilst I felt the occasional wistful pang as others drank champagne on Christmas day, it was just that.
To the newbies I'd say - you can do it, and it can be better (and a whole lot easier) than moderating.
And thank you to those long-term here that initially I thought I didn't want to join until I realised that I really did.