The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

[SavBbunny]

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Hello I would like to join please? I'm a binge drinker. Do stupid things when I black out, it's ruining my life. Today is day 1, still feeling the fear but determined that I will never feel this way again

@SavBbunny you haven’t failed, you’ve had a bad day. Be kind to yourself.

Come on in @Lookingforhelp123 - welcome

Thank you, I've name changed as wanted something a bit more personal.

@SavBbunny I obviously don't know you but I think you have been extremely brave to tell everyone here. There was no obligation for you to do that and that shows me I have come to the correct place for help and support as you have created such a safe place for people to get well but show we can struggle too. Thank you so much for sharing x

Good morning all.
Thank you for your kindness.
I had no one to talk to Friday. Some of my friends have controlling partners and won't pick up the phone to anyone if their DH is home. Text only. I find that weird.
I always answer. I need some new friends!
I don't want my old life back. It was day after day of feeling like hell and looking old, & puffy. I have the Rab C Nesbit bruise but I couldn't even eat. Unusual for a big scoffer. Managed some dinner in the end.
Welcome to @SportsBra

Sorry again that you had bad news @SavBbunny I hope your head is OK.

You are so right about drinking being a waste of time.

I have been a twit. I had a drink Thurs, Sat and yesterday. Not binges, but enough to make me feel crap today. Why? Why did I do it? I feel so much better not drinking and I felt I was doing quite well, despite my previous blips. Like you said @SavBbunny I don't want my old drinking life back, but you would be forgiven for thinking I do!

P.S. I hope it is OK if I stay on this thread even though I keep messing up. Also welcome to new folk 👋

Hi All,

I appear to ended up losing the thread so I will read back and update!

@LydiaLurk Not sure of the rules other than we should all be seeking an af life. I don't have many close friends or family that really care. I have never had to consider myself an addict before I came onto this thread but the terrible first few weeks made me think perhaps I was doing myself real harm. I didn't sleep well for nearly two decades. I could now sleep on a park bench😀
My day is better and I am processing my difficult news (not ready to share).

Now all caught up... I think!

@AlloftheTime My journey has been a bit bumpy over the last week or so. On Saturday, my other half was on their laptop filling something in and then they popped out. I was then looking after the kids but went on said laptop and I found various text messages / emails back and forth from my parents. It really set me off, not nice reading things about you and how awful my behaviour has been, text messages saying 'we are always there for you and the kids' yet I don't receive a thing. I think I'm going to speak to my counsellor about some of this next week as it feels suffocating and I need to continue on my journey without the distraction of this / the awful birthday meal experience!

@SavBbunny I really hope you're ok, and glad to hear that today is better for you.

@LydiaLurk Habit is awful isn't it. I hate how poorly we can feel yet in that one moment you forget about that side of things and think it's a good idea!

Not sure who said about PMS etc but goodness I am feeling the double whammy!

Morning all.
Checking in. Not slept so well due to the fall out of bad news. I have lost my new job. Company pulled the plug on all spend including me. Embarrassing and completely out of the blue. Will be difficult to get another job quickly due to the doom and gloom in the papers. They were spooked about our pending recession. I now have to fight for my outstanding money as I was there but a short time. I am just so shocked as they had paid the headhunter with no issues.

I had tried the Marks C & T 0% botanical last night. Excellent, very moreish. Might have ment a early pee!
Not a lot you can do when you get 'cancelled'. I made myself so ill Friday I shan't forget that in a hurry. Counselling Thursday and I will need it!
Have a good day my friends.

Oh crap @SavBbunny - I’m sorry

Hi all

Thank you for the new thread Savbbunny. I am* *so sorry to hear your news and that it led you back to old habits to cope. And they are old habits. It's not something you do regularly and you are working on it again and again. That takes dedication. Each time this happens for anyone who slips up it is triggering a part of the brain to want to stop it even more. These deep grooves of habits run so deep and when things are running smoothly it's easier to manage, but so much harder when life takes a difficult turn.
I am so sorry about your job. You sound such a wonderful go getter with work, i do hope something bigger and better comes to you soon. Go easy on yourself mean time. Thank you for still holding the thread while all this is going on for you.

Lovely to see old faces and new. Waves to Drybird. Thanks for the check in Bunnies, I am indeed smashing sobriety even if I do say so myself and have been reading books rather than being on here quite so much. Free books on Prime have been great for some summer reading. I also lost that there was a new thread and thought no one was posting on the old one. Duh! Because it was full you numpty.

I have had a good summer break. Chaotic house as we have been doing major renovations ourselves and on a budget and back to work now but the reno is taking shape and it was quite nice not to be away. The weather here was lovely anyway and we live in a beautiful spot.

I have also been working a lot on another issue that I often speak about, the realisation that I (still) have an eating disorder and doing really well, with the help of another support thread on here, while I am not quite smashing it I am getting there with a few blips along the way.

These threads and all your wisdom and thoughts are a big part of my recovery from my ED just like it has been and continues to be a support in not drinking. AF is just a way of life for me now. Yes, i still have thoughts of "this or that drink would be nice, wouldn't it?" or thoughts of "well, if i can do this long, surely I can moderate!" . But they are just fleeting thoughts and they pass pretty quickly.

Next week I will be at my 2 years milestone. Which means so much to me as I have made 18 months before but not this long. It feels so bloody good, I have no intention on listening to these voices. The voice saying that being alcohol free feels amazing is bigger and louder and stronger than ever. It's a joy.

Well done to all those navigating AF holidays (without any available AF drinks), difficult relationships and friendships, job stresses, milestone, especially these early ones and the learning curve of blips and slips. You've got this and we've got you.

Oh...and my AF drink of choice is the little made up tins of Tesco G&T. Big bowl glass and ice and lime, lovely weekend treat. I sometimes have a bottle of Nosecco, especially for celebration days but can take it or leave it. And a plain bottle of cider, i find the fruity ones far too sweet now. I also like a Bundeburg ginger beer bottle good when i fancy a stubby (Ozzy husband approves) but most of all I love a cup of tea.

Go well my AF friends.

Oh, that is shite @SavBbunny

Hi @SavBbunny Sorry to hear this, you deserve better

Good morning

Sorry to hear your news @SavBbunny. DH would say that all these things happen for a reason. I know I would really struggle to see it as an opportunity at this point, but DH has an annoying habit of being right.

I've not been well for the last couple of days - haven't eaten since Sunday lunchtime, but thankfully feeling a little better today. Did manage to get a GP appointment yesterday re severe abdominal pain (the rolling round the floor sort). He asked me about my drinking habits and I think the fact that I said I'd stopped was a bit of a red flag for him. I told him honestly how much I had been drinking (between 40-60 units a week) and he's sending me for an LFT test.

It did feel though he didn't quite view my having stopped as a positive thing. He didn't pass any comment at all. Mind you, he had me in the surgery to check for 'masses' so he's a bit lacking in the old bedside manner.

if you stop smoking, everyone congratulates you, even the died in the wool smokers. No-one tries to persuade you to start again, but if you stop drinking, it's the opposite.

Day 94

@DeedIDo Hope you're starting to feel better soon. That's interesting re your doctor, I thought he would have commended your decision. Good example re smoking, I had a similar ish conversation with my counsellor last week and the 'home hitting' pictures you get on cigarette packs and then alcohol is in nice shiny bottles. She thinks there will be a move to follow suit at some point but I'm not convinced but would be happy to be proven wrong!

Waves at @Breathmiller - good to hear from you

@DeedIDo - I’ll say congratulations! 94 days is awesome.

Doctors and lawyers tend to be the professionals most likely to have a drink problem. When I told my oncologist I’d given up alcohol he said he’d noticed the effect of alcohol on his heart rate, but really liked wine!

Apparently it took 50 years between realising cigarettes were harmful and legislation to curb smoking. Alcohol has been a recognised carcinogen since the 1980s, but not much sign of movement on that front. Mind you, alcohol is heavily subsidised in the Houses of Parliament so I’m not holding my breath!

@DeedIDo seeing the post from @Onewildandpreciouslife has highlighted I was amiss to also not say great work on your count!

@SavBbunny
aw I’m so sorry to hear about your job loss. Sucks.

@DeedIDo congratulations on 94 days & best of luck with the tests.

@Breathmiller
I like this and can really relate when you say:
These deep grooves of habits run so deep and when things are running smoothly it's easier to manage, but so much harder when life takes a difficult turn

@LydiaLurk
I understand … it can be hard to stay motivated … I felt so much better physically and mentally during my 69 days AF and I’m determined to beat this thing! I read so much quitlit and tried so hard. I refuse to see that as a waste but goodness, I wish it wasn’t so hard to Just stay off it.

i drank last night and the night before: two glasses of wine both times but for me, it always gradually increases until I’m finding a way to drink daily & go on regular binges too. I’ve been thinking of booze all day and have been feeling very down (I get anxiety and depression, like many people who become dependant or addicted). I really want to quit for good but after so many attempts, feeling a touch deflated! Thank goodness for this thread xx

Oh and welcome to the thread @StressfulBedtimes and @Lookingforhelp123 . I’m pretty new to this thread myself so maybe it’s weird me welcoming ye … but I really appreciated the welcome message I got from @SavBbunny when I joined

Morning all.
Good sleep last night, thank the Lord.
Still muggy here.
I am off to find myself some quit lit today. Quite a few months since I read any.
I am not due for a holiday until the autumn but I could do with being by the sea. If I didn't need easy access to London that is where I would live. Sea swimming and dog walks.
I hope everyone is managing.

Hi Everyone,

Glad you had a good night sleep @SavBbunny . Hope the quit lot search goes ok, I wouldn't mind hearing your views on what you find.

Woke up to a delightful gas / electricity bill. Although we are now using less than last year, it's up 40%. Absolutely ridiculous!

@Crayonpenny that is scary. Not looking forward to winter. Soon none of us will be able to afford to drink even if we do fall off the wagon! Mind you, I have noticed that although lots of things are going up by crazy amounts, booze doesn't seem to have gone up by much. Makes you wonder.

@SavBbunny oh, I would love to live by the sea.

It has been solidly raining (but warm and muggy) here for over 24 hours but now hopefully brightening up. Off out tonight. Not drinking. Definitely not drinking.

@SavBbunny - glad to hear about the sleep- makes a huge difference I find. I’m currently re-reading Unexpected Joy. I read it back in December when my brain was screaming “heal me!” - it’s good to look again when things are a bit calmer. I’ve found it reassuring what a long process she found it - I’m at 4 months and I think I should be sorted but of course that’s daft. I’m not very good at being easy on myself.

my AF holiday revelation is iced tea in cans. Lots of restaurants in Greece stock it, and it’s quite sweet but not fizzy. I don’t really like tea but this is ok

Off out for dinner tonight with a dear old friend who lives away, I've not seen her in over two years.

We are friends of 25 years and I can honestly say I don't think - barring respective pregnancies - we've ever had a night time meet up without alcohol.

I have no want or wish to drink, but feel a bit off kilter about it? I am so good at the day to day stuff but it's things like this that throw me a little. 171 days today though. I am strong and I have got this!