The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

[SavBbunny]

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Took a note of namechecks but can’t remember what I was going to say. Oh well😂
felt a bit on a high after the smart recovery meeting yesterday. Like others have said, I don’t really feel like an “alchy” I just know by definition I am! I kind of felt like a bit of a fraud because I’ve never been in rehab but many of the other participants have.

Its been explained before. Our lows are all different. It’s not a competitive sport. We all have one thing in common and that’s our unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

It’s sad how one person can ruin the whole experience for you. I had a zoom class I went to and I always breathed a sigh of relief when “that” person wasn’t there.

Ironically last night was the first night in ages that I actually really wanted a drink. I fast forwarded to the end of the night and the next morning. I didn’t want sore guts/liver, I didn’t want to have to try and remember how I got to bed or the shame of getting up and seeing how much I’d actually put away. I may have a blip in the future but not today.
Happy Sober Friday all. We can do this xx

Didn't have a drink but it was close. I've got covid (for the 2nd time, 3 months after the 1st) and now I'm stuck inside for 7 days.

DH is AF with me (day 6 for him) but doesn't Junwant to give up for good. He's like the devil on my shoulder. "Should we just get some wine?" Etc.

I'd love to if I knew it'd be 1 glass but it won't. My mind keeps saying "I should be allowed booze. I don't have any vices. I deserve it."The usual rubbish.

Hard to distract when you're stuck at home though!

Well done @Tomlettegregg

Managed a sober Friday. I am nearly at two months now, admittedly have had a blip here and there but nothing major.

Hello 👋

Checking into the new thread - thanks @SavBbunny! I have been on my lovely sober holidays, mystified by how I ever managed to do it while drunk - the expense! The early mornings with the kids! The heat!

Nice to see you all 🙂

@BunniesBunniesBunnies i hear you on the af beer! I have managed to find some but going out for meals is a pain - too many bubbles with food.

to add insult to injury, DD now has a bottle of white wine in the fridge. Gah!

but I’m chilling into it. Dh is grumpy through lack of sleep (we don’t have aircon this week) but I’m m sleeping like a (slightly warm) baby

waving at everyone in the early days - it’s tough

I am giving up on the AF drinks I think,

AF beer - not for me. Though have not tried the Becks Blue yet that everyone seems to rate.

AF cider - I really like this but makes me pee a lot?!

Nosecco - tried this last night. OK, but after second glass I went off it.

M and S ready mixed G&T - yuk.

Gordon's ready mixed G&T -lovely, but made me crave real gin!

So, I think it's mainly water, tea and coffee for me!

Have a good Saturday all!

@LydiaLurk not everyone likes AF beer! It’s all about finding a drink that you enjoy, whether it be teas/sparkling water/mock tails… I do love AF beers though I don’t like Becks Blue very much. BrewDog has nice AF beers, I also like AF Leffe and if you like lager AF Heineken is nice too. Weirdly I never was a beer drinker when I still drank booze!

I dreamt I drank a liter of vodka last night😱 and was so relieved to wake up. Nice to see you @Drybird2020 and I do so much agree about the benefits of sober holidays.

@Onewildandpreciouslife glad you’re chilling into it and @Tomlettegregg what a pain about covid, I hope you don’t suffer too much and that time flies.

Haven’t seen @Breathmiller here for a while (sorry if I missed your posts and you are here!) but knowing her she’ll be smashing sobriety and moderating her Mumsnet use like a pro👍🤩

Good afternoon all.
I am in a bit of a mess emotionally. Bad news last night.
I am around but may be quiet for a few days. Your friend Sav x

Sorry to hear that @SavBbunny. Thinking of you x

Look after yourself @SavBbunny

Hi all,

Had a slip yesterday. Obviously disappointed with myself but trying to learn from it. Had an extremely stressful few days and should have looked after myself better and been more cautious about temptation. On the plus side, drinking was no fun at all! Don't know why I bothered! Sober life is so much better. I have made good progress in general over the past month though, so reluctant to reset my clock to 0. Think I might just say I have been sober 28 out of 29 days. But if it happens again I will reset to 0. Well done to everyone who has hard times and managed to hang in there and stay sober, you are very strong and inspiring people!

Think I will give up the AF beers for a bit too and go on a bit of a health kick, green juices and yoga! Because of my mental health.

@Ontheshingle
Thanks -- yeah, it's amazing the grip booze has. How did you get on at your DS's 18th? I'm just a couple of days in and earlier today I was plotting: 'if I meet X Friend, she'll want to drink and I might spontaneously get to have a serious piss-up' but then I played it forward. I was having some horrendous physical symptoms from alcohol and that temporary feeling of oblivion doesn't really stand up to it!

@BunniesBunniesBunnies
Aw annoying! I hope you managed to find a nice AF drink. Any 0% Gordon's around? It's a lifesaver.

@SavBbunny I'm really sorry to hear that and I hope you're ok.

@Stupidlydupidly
I get you. Annie Grace says the same things about slip-ups. Being sober 28 out of 29 days is brilliant. Resetting to 0 can feel like we undid all the good when really we didn't. You learned from it too, which is great.

@JesusSufferingFuck22 Glad to hear you had a better experience of Smart Recovery than I did. I guess every group has its own dynamic.

One thing I know is that I can't do this alone. I tried to go it alone and thought I was done with drink for good and then BAM -- a 4 day slip-up!

I love being AF, in particular the mornings and the improvement in the physical symptoms I was having. I also find, like some others on the previous thread, that PMS isn't half as bad when I'm not drinking, which should really be enough to keep me off it.

One of the hardest bits for me is that I'm the person friends go to, to get wasted. One friend cancelled recently when I told her that I wouldn't be drinking - she obviously couldn't even imagine meeting up with me without getting drunk!

Sorry to hear you’ve had bad news @SavBbunny - thinking of you.

yay I got through the birthday last night and had loads of energy for a busy day packing for hols today. I would have felt sluggish and tired and inefficient if I’d had a drink.

@Forgiveitall it is difficult to change socially - do you find it best to avoid boozing friends? Or to plough on?

hope everyone’s Saturday is going well. Day 5.

That's great @Ontheshingle A win for sure.

It's definitely difficult to change socially. All of my friends are boozy (or at least when they're with me) which probably says a lot in itself!! The last time I met one of them we met for lunch and she asked how much longer I planned on being off the booze. She was disappointed I had driven in. For me, driving is the only way. I'm not strong enough yet to resist otherwise.

@SavBbunny Sorry to hear you are having a tough time xx💐

@Forgiveitall Ive also noticed my hormones are slightly more balanced since being af. I think when I read all the stuff written about PMT/peri menopause I just blocked out the bit about alcohol making symptoms worse……like with everything else.

I used to blame everything except the alcohol for my ailments, then gave myself a big shake, stopped drinking. A lot of my symptoms are better. Not all of them. Some got worse but that’s MS for you. I suppose I had expected a magic wand miracle cure for all my physical and mental health issues. I’m slowly accepting that this is not going to happen. I just need to learn to live with my issues without alcohol. Even though I feel a bit shit and depressed about it all sometimes, I’m still not wanting to drink. Life is better without it. On days like today I very reluctantly agree.

true story. My dh was cleaning out a flat after tenants leaving. They left a bottle of cava in the fridge. He was going to leave it there but thought maybe he’d better not in case new tenant is an alcoholic. He brought it home🤦🏻‍♀️ (Fine for me because I can’t drink it.)

Hope your weekends are going well and you are finding some peace xxx

Morning all
how is everyone doing? @SavBbunny sorry to hear you’ve had bad news.
how is your journey @Crayonpenny? you asked last week about skills, I’m not sure I’ve got anything special to offer but once I got a few months in and started to really enjoy the benefits ( more dosh, clear head, more time etc) I felt more committed. Being AF has become my new normal and I’ve got a bit ‘stubborn’ about it too! I’m doing it for me and those closest to me and that feels quite empowering. Without saying much I’ve shown I can do it to wider family and friends. I’ve had to deal with moving, a bad health episode and getting a divorce sorted but these are all positive (apart from the health issue)
As so many have previously said being AF doesn’t make your life ‘right’ but it really makes it easier to deal with tough issues as they arise.

Reading how others have found therapy helpful I’ve booked a first session for myself so thanks for the openness about this.
I’m a week into my second year and feel strong about continuing, I won’t get complacent if I can help it though.

sorry this turned out so long on a Sunday morning of all days!
one day at a time, all of the time 👍
Champ - if you are around let us know you’re okay 💐

Morning all
how is everyone doing? @SavBbunny sorry to hear you’ve had bad news.
how is your journey @Crayonpenny? you asked last week about skills, I’m not sure I’ve got anything social to offer but once I got a few months in and started to really enjoy the benefits ( more dosh, clear head, more time

Sorry about the strange reposting of half of my post! Mumsnet server was acting up earlier.

Saw this yesterday- I think it’s a helpful way to think about AF holidays (and life)

Hello all 👋🏼
I hope it’s ok to join in?

It was this time last week I decided I wasn’t drinking anymore, I was never a ‘drink every day’ type person so I don’t think people in real life will really understand why I’ve chosen to stop, I was more of a ‘can’t stop once I’ve started’ type person and tbh I can’t take another day of the fear after a night out, not remembering what I’ve done or how I got home, and (as in the case last week) remembering little flashbacks of some potentially dangerous situations and not knowing the full extent of them

I have depression and anxiety and had definitely began to self medicate; a little glass of wine after a rough day with the kids just takes the edge off and I’m much more calm, but it’s never a glass, it’s a bottle, then another, then as my tolerance increased sometimes another 🤦🏻‍♀️

I come from a family of drinkers who almost look down on people who don’t drink, or can’t handle their drink and are definitely of the mindset that if you’re not drunk you’re boring, so I know being around them is going to be difficult, but I don’t want my children growing up with the memories of me that I have of my Mum

So today is day 7 I guess, there is half a bottle in the fridge that I considered having last night but decided against it (first win?) and I may just tip away
I’m also hoping not drinking will help shift this belly I can’t get rid of

Wow that was a lot of words but I just wanted to tell someone but tbh I’m very embarrassed that I’m having to do this
Hopefully I can dump my thoughts here sometimes?
☕️

Welcome @StressfulBedtimes Glad you posted. We’ve all been there. I used to have the dread in the morning to go in the fridge to see how far the second bottle I’d gone.

Pouring that bottle away now might be a smart move while you’re feeling strong, then that’s your decision done for the day.

Wowser, that quote really resonates so deeply.

It is so very true.

I'm back home from my first ever sober holiday and I feel empowered. I have now done a birthday and a holiday, two things I could never have imagined back in February.

Welcome aboard @StressfulBedtimes and well done on taking those first steps.

I agree about pouring the wine away whilst you feel strong. I could never, ever pour wine away once not got past 6pm on a weekend evening 😫

Evening all.
Sorry for not holding the thread yesterday.
@StressfulBedtimes welcome. I understand the 'bottles' not glasses. I reached the point of being able to start on a third if it was a chosen 'poison'

I had some very upsetting news on Friday night and I am afraid for the first time since January 8th I went on a binge. I have the bruised forehead from falling. I was at home so only my husband saw me but I was distraught . I have been ill for two days. I haven't been able to eat either.
I tell you all purely because it is a safe space and on this journey we try so hard. I failed but it didn't make me want more booze yesterday or today. I am not ashamed of myself like I used to be but what a waste of time. We try again.