The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

[SavBbunny]

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Sorry to hear about your work news @SavBbunny
I hope it leads you on to better things as I know the new job wasn't exactly as you had hoped.

Hi all, checking in and having a moan.
week 14, day 98. Time is moving slowly. It feels like ages ago I stopped. Not drinking is normal. It’s also difficult at times. Not the cravings, just feeling like saying “fuck it” and ordering a bottle of vodka for some escapism.

My MS has decided to rear its ugly head in the form of another relapse that started a few days ago. Last one was in 2017 and was the one that disabled me. Funnily enough, a few weeks before that relapse I had stopped drinking too. I’d recovered to a tolerable level and had a bit more independence. Now I’m back to using my mobility aids all the time instead of some of the time and generally feeling like shit/in pain/new numb bits and hating asking for help from family.
I reckon my nervous system has become so used to the alcohol that this is it adjusting to being sober! Also could be my brain going to extreme methods to get me to drink again.
I'm not going to drink though.

I had counselling today. That got a lot of my chest. Otherwise this post would be a three page essay!
Welcome to all the new faces 😌Hi to everyone hanging on in there one way or another.

@LydiaLurk I lie, it's 65%. Slightly embarrassing given I work in finance and have a numerate degree - maths catch ups underway. Hope you enjoy your night out. Ditto for toy as well @Crunchymum , I completely get what you mean about it throwing your off a bit.

@JesusSufferingFuck22 Hope your counselling session went well, it sounds like it? Sorry to hear about your flare up, life can be annoying at times and test us!

I am now on the countdown to a weekend away for a car rally, camping the van which should be good but I know will be a test. Following on with a 2 week all inclusive holiday. If it's ok, I will probably reach out for suggestions on the latter. It was never going to be a wild holiday with 2 small people but we previously would have had a few drinks embracing(!) the widgets.

Thank you all, thank you @Crunchymum
@Crayonpenny wow good for you re all the holidays. I am hiding and not going away. Too risky.

@SavBbunny Thanks, I'm really treating them with trepidation. Abroad holiday was booked a long time ago and camping one was a bit more recently. Sorry I probably should have been a bit clearer re holiday countdown reference - meaning I'm trying to build up a building block(s) of what to do and making sure I'm strong.

Hello all!
Still on holiday with not a lot of internet connection which is actually rather nice🙂

Just wanted to send a big hug to @SavBbunny, that’s awful news about your job. I hope you find a new one soon and that you have dusted yourself off after your blip and feel better now.

@StressfulBedtimes welcome!! Your post resonated so much. That was me 2 and a bit years ago. I feel so much better now, my mental health is so much better. I hope being AF helps you too.

@Breathmiller what a lovely post, can’t believe it’s your 2 year milestone coming up! You’re amazing.

Sorry to miss out a lot of other posts, it’s a bit fiddly scrolling on my phone with limited internet.

am pleased to say we’ve moved campsites (not because of the lack of AF beer😂) and I’m now swimming in a sea of AF beer😂😂😂 It’s been lovely though it does mean I’m up in the night many times peeing😂 We’re here with friends who are heavy drinkers but I just feel such relief I don’t have to join in. Last night I had a big coffee and a massive slice of pie whilst everyone was on the wine and it was heavenly.

best wishes to all!

@BunniesBunniesBunnies thank you. I have applied to a couple of ads.

Morning all.

Morning!

@Crayonpenny I’m just over a week in to my first sober beach holiday. I did find the first few days hard, particularly as we were sailing last week- I find this really stressful usually and it sends my anxiety levels to 11, and I didn’t have my usual “escape hatch” of alcohol. But actually after the first few days I really loved it.

my tips would be

• be reeally kind to yourself- talk to yourself like you’d talk to someone who came on here on day 3 on bambi - legs


• think about what coping strategies worked well for you in the early days, and use those - I’ve been re-reading some of the quit lit I read before


• work Out your af options when you get there - being sober on holiday must be a bit like being vegan - you won’t have your usual choices so you may need to be imaginative - I’m enjoying milk shakes and ice cream at what would usually be beer o’clock. Iced tea is surprisingly nice too.


• expect to feel a little wistful- you have years of associating holidays with alcohol so it’s ok to feel a little sad


• trust that it will get easier


• plan treats for yourself- you will feel fabulous in the early morning, so maybe go for a swim before everyone else is awake, or do sunrise yoga or whatever does it for you


• enjoy it and feel proud - you are doing something that last year you could only imagine

Does anyone have any holiday quit lit recommendations?

@Onewildandpreciouslife You're a superstar thank you, I will have a thorough read through shortly.

@SavBbunny Fingers crossed with the applications.

What a great post onewildandpreciouslife. especially* *this..

expect to feel a little wistful- you have years of associating holidays with alcohol so it’s ok to feel a little sad.

I think that's a really valid point. There's not really a way around this. There's no magic button that means you won't now and again get wistful or sad about the past or wishful thinking. I park it in the same way that I can look back on my wild techno clubbing drinking drug days as wild and free and wonderful in their own way. And I can get wistful that i won't have that again. But, i can think about them as part of my past. It was of it's time and I don't want to do that now. I'm in a different place. Things change. I don't have to demonise these days just look back and smile that that was then and this is now. Different things bring me joy now.

(Also, I have seen lots of people doing the bullet point thing since the update but I can't figure out how to do it. Is it something just on your phone? Or mumsnet? I love a bullet point, me 😄)

Thanks @Breathmiller ! (I’m not entirely sure how I did the bullets - I think I put a hyphen at the start of the para and then they just happened 🤷🏼‍♀️)

Amazing list @Onewildandpreciouslife !!! Love it. The coping mechanisms thing is so important, especially as some of them may not be available when you’re on holiday (I’m currently doing without the gym and a bath!). So I make the most of different coping mechanisms, for example I’ve had lots of time for running, audio books and browsing foreign shops (all of which I love) this holiday!

I also find I enjoy food so much more without the booze so that’s a big plus for me.

Morning all,
Up early as dh pinched the bedclothes.

Went out for lunch yesterday and found another pub with faux gin. Sipsmith this time. Not really able to eat a lot anymore but still very fat (I started dieting two weeks after giving up the grape) A lot of backlash to me having weight loss surgery from family and friends. They seem to have given up on the booze opinions. At least no presents of wine. Searching for a spa break as I need some headspace after the great cancelling. No cooking, no washing up etc for a few days.
Tis Friday my danger day but also the end of a crap week so hoorah.
Have a good one my friends.

Does anyone have any holiday quit lit recommendations?

AE2 has a bit on holidays. I read and reread before mine.

my Soberversary is later this month. Any ideas on what I can do to celebrate?

@LovinglifeAF do you want an experience or a keepsake? I used to reward myself with a hammam after I hit milestones in the early days, so maybe a spa day to celebrate your sober body? Or perhaps treat yourself to a charm bracelet you can add to over the years? Someone on here (I’m afraid I’ve forgotten who - sorry) got a tattoo on year 2 of (I think) a Roman numeral 2.

Good morning my sober sisters.
Son coming for the weekend so that will keep me on the straight and narrow.

We have found another house to buy so just waiting on the sellers to accept the offer. Huge project but my favourite village. Need to send builders in before Christmas otherwise tis sleeves up and we will be doing it ourselves. I haven't plastered for years (not the lime kind!). It will give me something to do and if it takes a while to get a new job we will be okay. I might consider a YouTube career. Old bag beauty or suchlike.

I have been OK this week. Stocked up on the Marks tinnies. Husband has the faux rum one. My son likes the 0% Guiness.
Have a good day my friends.

@Mwnci123
We are here on the new thread.

@LovinglifeAF I bought some posh pretty ballerinas.
My feet use to swell with the booze so I could never get into this brand. My treat for 7 months.

Good luck with the house buying savb. we're doing a big renovation ourselves at the moment and although it's hard work it's satisfying to be working with our hands and feels like a labour of love. Very satisfying to see it come together. Slowly but getting there.

What's the rum tin you are talking about an AF from M&S? Id like it for winter, my tesco G&T tins hit the mark in the summer but I fancy something different in colder evenings.

I do fancy the 0% Guiness but I am gluten free and I'm pretty sure it will have barley it it which upsets my stomach.

The tattoo mentioned was the fab hangingover and it was like the 5 tally that you get. 4 lines in a row then the fifth one diagonally across. It was a genius move.

My 2 years is on Monday. I would like to mark it in some eay but not sure how?

Has anyone read Again, Rachel? I bought it for some light poolside reading but it’s bloody uncomfortable

@Onewildandpreciouslife ah I wasn't a fan of this squel. I loved the first, Rachel's holiday, especially the bloke eating a whole loaf. Laugh out loud. And actually really helpful to understand the power of therapy. Also the fact that you can overcome addiction.
However I think 'the break up' is really funny, 'grown ups' (they needed to grow up!).
I am a fan of St Marion.
I am a huge reader so I would also recommend The Confession by John Grisham. His best, makes you grateful for the UK legal system.

I've been lurking for a while but would like to join in if that's okay!

I realised I needed to quit a few weeks ago (well, a few years ago really, but it's taken a looong while to come to terms with it!) and I thought the summer holidays would be a good opportunity. Was drinking 1/2 a bottle a night, every night, and it had started to creep up to 2/3rds when I was stressed.

Day 1 was Saturday 23rd of July and I read the Craig Beck book in one day. I then purposefully drank last Friday and Saturday (not much) as an experiment to see how I felt. Didn't even particularly want to, but it felt like part of a process that I personally needed to go through. And I felt physically shit, even with a small amount! So back on the wagon from last Sunday and it's day 7 today. I honestly feel fantastic and have more energy than I've had in years. I've only had the most fleeting desire to drink, although I'm aware I'm in the honeymoon period and it will probably get harder when I'm back to being stressed at work.

Have now also read Alcohol Explained and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, which really resonated with me. I'm also listening to the Happy Sober podcast every night.

Very inspired by everyone on here, it really helps to know other people are on the same journey.

@thepurplepenguin welcome.
We are a jolly bunch.
All feel better for not drinking.
We don't judge and try to lift each other up.
Lots of reasons for drinking and wanting to stop.
Mine was bereavement and the stress of carering and giving up a job I loved. I gave up after a shameful fall which was witnessed by a colleague who bullied me thereafter. I personally never want to be in that position again.
Good luck.

Thanks @SavBbunny

My drinking has been triggered by stress recently but if I'm completely honest I've used all manner of reasons to 'excuse' why I was drinking to excess over the years. Nothing specific happened to make me decide to stop (I had many close to rock bottom moments years ago, but never quite bad enough to make me quit) but I am just so tired of feeling exhausted and unwell every single day. I do everything else 'right' (gym, loads of water, healthy eating etc etc) but was then un-doing it all by drinking. Daft, really...

Anyway, that's quite enough about me!

Hey everyone, welcome @thepurplepenguin

I'm on day 7 myself after a stressful incident. I've been open and honest with my family and DH and all are supportive. Me and DH seem to be getting along so well so fingers crossed that continues!

I felt a weight lift when I finally said I'm not doing it anymore! No more worrying about what I've said or done the night before, no more wasting days away in bed hungover. I'm early days but I am so determined to do this for me, my family, my kids. I want life and I want to say goodbye to alcohol forever!