The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

[SavBbunny]

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Morning all checking in.

Afternoon @SavBbunny

All good here. Out with "the boys" last night, curry and a few drinks (Heineken 0.0 for me). Dropped everyone home and went to bed at 1am, up at 7, down for breakfast two hours before the aforementioned "boys" (none of them will see 60 again ).

Starting to notice how much other people drink. Very interesting. A bottle of wine a night, every night seems to be normal in my world.

Day 88. Finding it hard to believe it will be Day 100 in less than two weeks

Hi All,

Just had my counselling session which went pretty well. An hour in and think we probably scratched the surface of things but useful never the less. Face to face one booked in for 2 weeks time.

Hi @SavBbunny how are you getting on?

@DeedIDo It’s absolute madness how normalised getting pissed is. Everything involves drinking or finding an alternative to not drinking!
I'm starting to reflect on how left out people in my family and social circle have been almost swept to the side by others, including me and almost ignored because they don’t drink.

@Crayonpenny glad your counselling went well. I’m looking forward to mine next week. I’ve been seeing the same person for years. I just talk and they listen mostly. It works for me. It’s only in the last few months I’ve properly spoken about drinking. I’ve mentioned it before but was still too embarrassed to talk about it……..and I talk about EVERYTHING with them.

It’s good to have a safe space for you, to talk xx

@JesusSufferingFuck22
I am ok thank you.
Looking forward to a new tonic in my faux gin tonight. Marks elderflower.

@Crayonpenny my therapy day is Thursday. I now only talk about random things, I started a month after my af journey. Very useful. I had a bit of a shit childhood. Talked a lot of that out.
Might give it up in the autumn when I move.

My therapy day is Thursday too! I started psychodynamic counselling for cPTSD in November after a two year wait because of the pandemic. It's a slow process, but I've moved away pretty quickly from the issues in my past that sparked the original referral to talking about the issues in my present.

I don't think I would have gone AF without it, although my counsellor knows nothing about drinking or the behaviours that go with it. I took a while to be comfortable with the process, but all in all I think it is proving to be a positive experience.

Hello all. Still here. I’m finding it quite hard being on holiday sober - I’m really missing the wine, but not enough to have a drink, if that makes sense? It’s only my first night (long story - got bumped from our flight so delayed 24 hours) so hopefully it will get easier.

Re-reading the Unexpected Joy of being Sober - decided I needed back-up!

Hang on in there @Onewildandpreciouslife.

If it is any consolation right this second I am finding it hard not being on holiday and not drinking! But it will pass...

Hello. Is it ok if I join this group?

I’m disappointed in myself but I drank the last three nights (not too heavily but enough to give me insomnia, anxiety and a splitting headache).

I had one other slip-up before that but before that slip-up, I had made it to 69 days AF which was a record for me.

I find it so hard once I start back drinking and I don’t want this to spiral. I’m at the ‘maybe it’ll be different this time and I can moderate’ stage … I’m confident ye know what I mean! 🥺😱

Day 3. Terrible flu symptoms. Nervous about having dinner with a friend tomorrow. Wish me luck x

@Forgiveitall good morning, welcome. 69 days is amazing. I think by then you are seeing a difference. Today is a new day.

And good morning all.

I had a massive sleep, reminds me of when my dc were small counting the good nights. The drinking after the sudden death of my mother cocked that up for nearly two decades. The 3pm shuffle, to have tea or not.

@Onewildandpreciouslife you will be fine on holiday, drink some expensive juice. I get ratty if others are downing booze and there is only coke for me (I hate the stuff). I noticed in Paris they don't have alcohol free wine but serve in 80cl. Apparently to kerb alcoholism. I am not away on holiday until November so haven't tested the options yet.

Waitrose need to up their game and as Quaker founded I am surprised they are not leading the way. Surely someone in marketing has realised that we have a a huge alcohol problem? They don't even sell Nozzeco.
Have a good day my friends.

Hey @Tomlettegregg - welcome back. Keep going.

thanks @LydiaLurk and @SavBbunny . It’s shocking what a hold alcohol has on me that I’m on a lovely holiday and I’m grumpy about wine. Giving my head a wobble

Morning all,
@Tomlettegregg keep pushing through, but be kind to yourself - this is the hardest bit (in my experience), you’ll start feeling the benefit soon.
@Onewildandpreciouslife I hope you have relaxed into your holiday - have a great time!

sorry not to namecheck more, but I’ve forgotten who said what! Not very good at this malarkey yet!😂

Forced myself out for a run yesterday, which always helps, although the KMs seem to be longer than they used to be 😂.
anyway, as I was struggling and approaching yet another hill at some point, I realised that much like not drinking, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you get where you’re going, and the nearer you get to the hills the smaller they appear to be.
Fairly sure similar analogies have been made before, but hey ho.

wishing you all a sunny sober day 😊

Good morning!

Well, yesterday was a wobble, the worst one yet, but I got through it. Difficult visit to a friend, followed by nightmare bus journey, followed by some more stress and some unavoidable late night cooking. Normally I would have said 'sod it' and gone to the pub with the others, but instead I bit the bullet and went home for a rest.

Day 89

@Onewildandpreciouslife same here. On holiday and was really missing the "old" holidays IE wine soaked at least a bottle a night for the duration

We come back to the same town / cottage so the associations were so strong. Second night we went to a lovely restaurant with views overlooking the sea and all I could think of as the times before we'd been there before when I'd be enjoying the view with a Rioja instead of a cloudy lemonade!!

I started to feel a bit better by day 5? Although we were halfway through the holiday at that point. Still a few days left for me to truly enjoy!

I'm incredibly proud of myself as when I started in February I would never have imagined being AF on holiday.

165 days for me today. Closing in on the 200 day mark which just blows me away. There are struggles still, the first 90 days were difficult / boring / monotonous etc but I feel like I'm getting it now. I feel like this is life and life is good.

(I reached the bunny field a month ago and I've plateaued out a bit now but I still feel infinitely better than I did when I was drinking)

“Sorry not to namecheck more, but I’ve forgotten who said what! Not very good at this malarkey yet”

This is me all over. I get so involved in the conversations that I forget who said what!

I went to a zoom meeting here today smartrecovery.org.uk/about-smart-recovery-meetings/<a class="break-all" href="https://smartrecovery.org.uk/about-smart-recovery-meetings/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Smart recovery

Definitely going back. It’s like this group but with a facilitator and you see faces. Friendly bunch. They use some of the same buzz words/phrases as here plus acronyms. I don’t know if I should mention that I hate acronyms. I really struggle to remember what they all mean🤔

(Please don’t tell me if you were in the same meeting today too 😂)

I’ve been picking music for a playlist to play while I make dinner/tidy up the kitchen. I dusted off some good speakers that were unused and put them in the kitchen. This is new for me. This was never a drinking time of day for me but thought it might be a helpful suggestion for those who need a distraction at that time of day.

Hope you are all surviving and staying well xx

Thanks for the welcome @SavBbunny x I’m reading through the thread.

@JesusSufferingFuck22 well done on the meeting. Why not get as much support as possible? I found AA helpful. I don't mind the higher power bit but I did meet a famous actress and was a bit gobsmacked. I then met a friend of a friend who said oh we have met before which was weird. I felt compromised. Tbh I now don't care. If anyone says anything I just say I gave up the grape, it was making me ill. Some ask questions some don't.
I am on the Gordon's 0%.

It's day 3 for me. Today is fine, but tomorrow will be a challenge - a family birthday, followed by a weekend which is going to be quite stressful for various reasons. I know I will feel so much better if I don't drink, and feel exhausted and awful if I do.
well done those who are on holiday - it is hard, I know (having managed it before my current restart ..) but so worth it to wake up feeling refreshed and not hung over to enjoy the day.
Interesting about AA @SavBbunny . I like the idea but never felt I was a proper alcoholic IFSWIM. Maybe that doesn't matter. Well done on the meeting @JesusSufferingFuck22 - sounds very supportive. Whatever works ...

I’ve been reading through this thread and the previous one. I’ve just joined and am disappointed that I ‘broke’ and restarted drinking after over 2 months AF.

I tried a Smart Recovery meeting online @JesusSufferingFuck22 but there were only three others there and one was a very Curt unfriendly lady … so I never went back! I agree though that it’s whatever works. I’m not sure what works but this relapse has shown me that I cannot go it alone so I hope I’ll be able to offer and receive support here.

i too got well into Gordon’s 0% during my 69 day AF stint @SavBbunny I buy yummy tonics and use a huge glass (& eat a lot of treats with it!).

ive been reading through this & the previous thread and a common theme seems to be the role of partners in recovery. Some people seem to quit together and others have a partner who doesn’t drink much and that seems to work. I was very interested @Onewildandpreciouslife how you said your DH was brought to tears by your drinking last year but recently has asked you if you’d consider going back to having a glass of wine! It just shows that maybe partners too forget how bad it had got or how difficult moderation is.

I don’t have a partner right now and I do look back at pretty much all of my relationships and wonder how different it might have been if we hadn’t both drunk so much. It’s much easier for me to quit now while I’m single. All of my relationships have had a lot of booze in them. I’d love my next relationship to be with a teetotaller.

well, happy Sober Thursday to you all. Looking forward to getting to know you 🌗

Morning all.
@Forgiveitall one foot forward. Some on this thread have blips, some don't. I think it gets easier as time goes on.
I am nearly 7 months. Do I want to go back to drinking like I did?, absolutely not.

@Ontheshingle I didn't think I was an alcoholic but I was certainly dependant. I lied about my consumption to my family, friends and doctors. I didn't drink in the morning or help myself to the huge stack of spirits in our larder (wine drinker me). However I had no off button and would drink my 'poison' until I went to sleep. I never had blackouts but I still have shameful memories. I once put a forgiveness quote up on my Facebook so I must have pissed off a lot of people. No one commented bar my SIL who knew how hard it was for me.

Today is a new day. Have a good one my friends.

Well done on your sober holiday @Crunchymum . I remember when I started Sober Spring in March someone asked me if if that was me done drinking and I said “I don’t know, I can’t get my head around not drinking on holiday”, and yet here we are! The AF options aren’t great where I am, just beer, so I’m sticking with water and milkshakes.

On the subject of partners, I mentioned to DH last night how hard I was finding it, and his response was that it was nice for me to be present, which was fairly damning as to how I used to be on holiday!

@AlbinoAxolotl I completely agree on the running. There’s a gym on my usual route that has a big sign outside “if it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you” , which always makes me grin

have a good Friday all. One day at a time

Thanks @SavBbunny I didn’t think I’d have a blip when I was in the thick of the quit-lit and feeling better. Reading through these threads has been helpful though and I feel less alone. Congratulations on being so far along. It’s great you’re able to have certainty about not wanting to drink again.

have a nice Friday everyone … and a sober one at that … now there’s a concept! 🌗

Hello @Forgiveitall - sounds like we are in the same boat and i look forward to some mutual support. I know what you mean exactly - in the thick of quit lit and on day 50 I feel sure I'll never drink again and around day 100 I do. I'm determined not to repeat the pattern this time.

Tonight is going to be really challenging for me - my ds's 18th birthday. Am Motivated by wanting to be able to come here tomorrow and say I did it! Off out to get some sparkling water now. Good luck to everyone else with Friday night. Day 4 for me.

Yay new thread! Thanks @SavBbunny for setting it up!

Some impressive milestones are mentioned, well done! And welcome newbies of course.

Those struggling with sober holidays… I hope you get to have some nice peaceful moments without thoughts of booze too.
I’m usually all over this thread singing the praises of alcohol free holidays (to be fair I had a few awesome ones, and it does get better and easier with each holiday) but I’m on holiday as well at the moment and OMG, I’ve been unable to buy AF beer😭I bloody love AF beer, especially when I’m out in the sun. I’ve roamed many shops but they always seem to be out or don’t stock it. I mean WTF, there should be at least AF alternatives that aren’t a fucking kids fizzy pop😡😡😡 It’s a minor complaint really, I know I’m lucky to be on holiday abroad but hopefully some of you will know what I mean… Holidays can be triggering and I rely on my AF beers to get me through! Still, there’s no bloody way I am going to drink booze and I feel proud of that.

Hope all is well for everyone else (also sorry to those with unsupportive partners, that sounds hard! Keep chatting and offloading on here, we will support you!)