The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

[SavBbunny]

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Well done @Crunchymum
Are you feeling like a new woman?

More of a work in progress than a new woman @SavBbunny 😂but I'm feeling so, so, so much better than I was.

Good morning all.
A bit chilly here.
Another sober Friday, hoorah. Always my feet up night.

@SavBbunny its the perfect running weather here! Blue skies and sunny but chilly too. My favourite kind of weather! Might go for a run in a bit😁
hope everyone has a good sober weekend

Evening all.
I have had a change of name due to a thread that was heading in the troll zone.

I will be ok in the morning.
SB

Hope you’re ok @ChampersCharlie

Dropped DD at uni yesterday. Heading back in the car, I really wanted a drink, but I knew what I really wanted to do was to escape the feelings, but feelings are ok and normal.

Ahh @Onewildandpreciouslife it must be emotional to drop your dd. Is it her first year? Be kind to yourself.

Hope you’re okay @ChampersCharlie. Parts of Mumsnet are not a friendly place! I tend to stick to this thread only - I’m a sensitive soul though😅

Hi @ChampersCharlie I saw that one don't worry you did nothing wrong! Just asked a simple question the problem is half of MN hides behind their keyboards they would never say stuff like that IrL! Hope you have woken up ok.
Wow @Onewildandpreciouslife that must have been very tough, I remember when my parents dropped me to uni and they both cried in the car it was emotional. I'm emotional thinking about my child going into secondary school! Happy sober Sunday everyone x

Hi everyone, I've been lurking for the last week and have read the thread from the beginning. Unknowingly, you've all been very helpful and supportive!

I'm on day 7 today after a bit of a false start where I got to day 13. A few years ago I did dry January and didn't drink again until we went on an all inclusive holiday in the summer. I remember feeling SO good during that time; clear headed, present, I lost weight and my mood was far more balanced.

For background, I've always been one who has no off-switch. Where some can just have one glass or two, I start with the best of intentions but after the one or two I just keep going. I have had the 3 am fear on so many occasions. I say stupid things, send texts that at the time seem full of genuine emotion but in the cold light of day make me look like a madwoman and generally become someone I'm not proud of, who is lairy and argumentative.
My Dad has always had an addiction, firstly cigarettes which gave him lung cancer and latterly red wine. He will easily get through a couple of bottles a night, despite again being diagnosed with terminal cancer. My Mum (who is now living in a home, with Alzheimer's) always 'kept him company' with her drinking, although I think somewhat reluctantly and she would never drink as much as him. When I wasn't drinking and her memory problems were first emerging I suggested she go teetotal as I'd understood that excessive alcohol consumption can lead to vascular dementia and she hasn't drunk since. In her more lucid moments she gets very upset about my Dad's drinking and says she should have tried harder to make him stop 😔

I've found that since becoming menopausal I just can't tolerate alcohol, hangovers and the aftermath very well at all. It brings back a lot of menopause symptoms - joint pains, bloating, anxiety and night-waking. I also find I become terribly depressed for up to a week after consuming any quantity. The sort of dark hole depression when it feels like all the joy and lightness has been sucked out.

So that's me - apologies for the outpouring!

Hi all
I have been limiting my phone usage this month so not been posting but have been dipping in and reading. But, i am unwell today so am having a break and allowing more time to be on my phone.

Welcome sillylittlemargaret your story will resonate with many of us. Well done for making this decision.

onewildandpreciouslife it can be so hard to see our young people off to new places. I've done it twice before and just about to do it again. It doesn't get easier. Well done at not relying on old (and quite frankly useless) coping mechanisms.

Bunnies good to see you here still posting. You're like a wonderful anchor on these threads.

champerscharlie sorry you have had a difficult reaction on MN. I agree this is a much more pleasant place to hang out. (As an aside I am interested in why you chose that nickname? Seems not to be you anymore?)

I have my 3rd dry birthday tomorrow (I know what a day to have a birthday!) and it feels normal now. It hasn't entered my head that it will be any less celebratory because I'm not drinking. I remember having my 50th dry 2 years ago just a month after I stopped and, although I had been a little worried in advance whether I could do it, I just remember how good I felt and what a wonderful time I had.

It is just my way of life now and it feels better that I won't be drinking. I'm not stressed or anxious about drinking too much or trying to limit myself or what I'm going to feel like the day after. I will see my loved family and friends. Have tea and a gorgeous cake my friend had made. And I will enjoy and be present for every single minute. Best present I ever gave myself was sobriety.

Thanks all - yes, first baby to fly the nest!

welcome @SillyLittleMargaret - was nodding along to your post!

hello @Breathmiller - sorry to hear you’re not feeling well, hope you’re better for your birthday. “Best present I ever gave myself was sobriety.” Great line x

@Breathmiller I think you are right, not the right name for a sober sister. I have a new one.

I typed too fast last night and posted a thread to answer a friend who had a question I couldn't answer. I find the inferrance that posters are stupid really hurtful. I got very upset. @BunniesBunniesBunnies I will take your advice and stick to my sober support group.
I tried to get it taken down when the pms started. Hopefully I have learnt my lesson and will step away from the keyboard.
I am on the Gordon's AF with a new grapefruit tonic.
Have a peaceful evening everyone. X

Morning all.
I am not sure my posts are hitting the thread as I am classed as a new member.

Happy birthday @Breathmiller!!! 🎂 Hope you’re feeling a bit better today!

@Onewildandpreciouslife Ah first baby to fly the nest! What a momentous moment! Big hug!

@SillyLittleMargaret Welcome!

@WendyWagon Love this username😊

@WendyWagon I can see your posts! I think we just cross posted.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies good morning. Thank you for yesterday. I have been feeling pretty stupid. Lots of stress with BF who is having a difficult time and I am trying to support and failing not to get sucked in.

@Breathmiller happy 🎂 birthday.

Welcome @SillyLittleMargaret

@WendyWagon it’s really hard to support someone and not get sucked in sometimes (I’m having the same issue at the moment, it’s very draining and I’m also terrible at not getting sucked in). You sound like you’re an excellent, solid kind of friend but do look after yourself. Sometimes it helps to ask - Would this person support me if I needed support? - and then tailor your level of support accordingly. That sounds a bit harsh and calculated but it’s a good trick if you’re someone (I’m not saying you are) who regularly “gives more than you get back”.

Thanks Bunnies. I am trying not to put my sobriety and this friendship at risk. My BF and I go back over 30 years. She is a Jekyll and Hyde character. Has had many difficulties in life due to her dishonesty. Her family are wealthy and she spends money like water. When she runs out of credit with them she comes to me. She doesn't really work and plays at any job. I can't afford to bail her out this time and the pressure is getting to me. She thinks I owe her as she has helped with me giving up the drink (phone calls, texts at key trigger points). She has never lent me any money and she lives way beyond her means. On a good day she is a wonderful friend. We are on an even keel now but we had some tough times. I am getting very upset over small things again.

@WendyWagon that doesn’t sound like small things at all, friendship issues are hard. Never lend more than you can afford to lose though! You can still be a good friend without bailing her out!
ps you don’t owe her a thing, if she supported you that’s great but your sobriety is all YOU and your hard work.

Thanks for the welcomes, it's nice to be here! You are all incredibly inspiring.

8 days in and facing my first real challenge over the next couple of days; we're meeting some old friends for dinner tonight and then hosting them for supper on Tuesday. They're not huge drinkers or anything but it's the first time I'll have socialised without alcohol. I'm feeling quite confident but a bit worried I'm going to appear boring or staid.
Having said that, my biggest challenge will be at the end of October when we go to stay with family abroad. They are big drinkers and I'm more than a little nervous about that already - just pushing it away at the moment!

@SillyLittleMargaret i think it’s great that you are pre-empting these challenges. I remember them well: first dinner put, first holiday, first Christmas etc. It can be so scary!!! But if you go into them with the confidence that you WON’T drink it helps a lot. You might be pleasantly surprised all these events are still really fun without booze!!! I’ve noticed most people don’t give a shit whether I drink or not😂 Having a few casual replies ready (eg I’m not drinking at the moment because it’s really affecting my sleep/mood/etc) also helps. Or even saying “oh alcohol is just not agreeing with me at the moment, I must be getting old😂” and then the conversation will swiftly move on.

honestly I love sober holidays/birthdays etc now! You can do it!

Thanks for the birthday wishes bunnies & wendywagon (fab name!).

I feel much better thanks, onewildandpreciouslife i take reactions to food and had to leave a lovely dinner my friend had done for my birthday on Friday. Tummy settled down enough today though to have a bit of cake. Which is the important thing 😆.

sillylittlemargaret well done on these days, the earliest ones are the hardest. You're doing great. Don't think too far into the future. You can only "not drink" right now in the present moment. As long as you keep to that then you don't have to worry about what's coming up. It's quite a heavy load that lifts off when you think like that.

Happy birthday @bre @Breathmiller ! Hope you are feeling better and cake does often make it better, amazing that you have a 3rd sober birthday under your belt! You should be so proud.
Like the new name @WendyWagon hope you are ok.
@SillyLittleMargaret everything you said makes sense. Maybe take some/bring some in back up AF drinks if you have tried any so far? I've had Nozeco a few times which isn't too bad actually! I recently got Corona 0% which was nice too x

Hello All. Day 22 here and having my hardest evening so far. I've been having some health anxiety today and know a few glasses of wine would really calm me down and knock me out of my obsessive thought spiral. Not going to drink but I think that's more due to my medication than my willpower.

I'll be fine, it's just the first time I've felt a bit overwhelmed at the thought of never having wine as a support again.

@BraveMaeve it’s normal to feel overwhelmed by the thought of never having wine as a coping mechanism instead. It is an overwhelming thought but the longer you stick with it the smaller that voice will get.
I’m sorry you’re having health anxiety, that sounds really tough.
When I’m struggling this time of night I just go to bed (as indeed I have done tonight). Can’t do any damage when I’m asleep😂😂 Sending you positive vibes!