The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

[SavBbunny]

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

4 months with a recent fail

Hi @felicityfortunate I think you caused confusion by saying you need a “run up” to quitting.

Today is a good day to start.

Lots of us on here have tried and failed, then tried again. If you don’t have the energy to try again at the moment, maybe start your own thread on alcohol support? You will find lots of people in your position.

It might be worth spending some time thinking about what motivates you (in life generally). Have you ever taken on a big challenge and succeeded? If so, what worked for you? I know that for me, it’s measurable goals, so the Dry January app was perfect for me. Other people are motivated by relationships, so some sort of support group (AA or SMART are the two obvious ones, but there are others).

Yes I think there has been a misunderstanding along the way!

4 months is bloody amazing. Stay, carry on with your journey, you have done so well.

The reason I like this thread is because many of us have had blips but we have the support of others who have or have not had blips along the way but there's still support @felicityfortunate please don't feel there's nowhere to go you can always PM me. I also have no desire to moderate and you have done 4 months with a recent blip! I'm not sure you said last hurrah I think you genuinely just want to not drink as do we all! It's a mind fuck! But you are recognising it well done for that! It's so so hard and no-one is perfect but the good thing is you are trying xxx

Morning all.
Off into London for a birthday lunch today. I was hoping it would be cancelled. Still feeling out of sorts. Will be okay as I am driving.

I hope everyone had a peaceful night. I was on the af marks green tinnies (faux G & T) . I really like it but can't drink two?
Have a good day my friends.

Morning @SavBbunny - good luck with your trip into London - allow plenty of time because the traffic is going to be horrendous with all the road closures

And sorry you’re still feeling out of sorts - hopefully it will get easier after the funeral on Monday. How was the house viewing?

A dear friend of DH’s died yesterday - it was expected, but still very upsetting. The thought of drink crossed my mind, but got squashed pretty quickly, thank goodness

Checking in on my 2 week anniversary. I've got an extra incentive that I won't share yet but it's really helping. Hubby is also on board still till at least the end of September. Dreading him starting again but remembering the advice to do one day at a time.

@Onewildandpreciouslife good morning. House buying has proved a bit pants. My husband is very tall and we have big furniture. Cottages can be a problem. We don't need lots of bedrooms but we do need big rooms and parking. Trying to please everyone is difficult too. My dc was bullied at the local school so is keen to move away. My husband not so. I might run away to a shed!
I am sorry about the bereavement. I think they coverage of HM has brought back the pain of losing my parents. I suspect for others too. Amazing that you stuck to your af life. Well done.

Hello

Hello again my friends. It’s been a while.
I did so well but I’m afraid it’s taken hold of me again.
I don’t know why I keep going back to it. I know I think it helps but it catches up to me and I end up in a mess again.

@Touty it was a blip, don't let alcohol take away from you all the good work you have done. As lots of posters have said recently, we have all had a lot of day 1's and like others i didn't post here until i felt i was quite secure in my sobriety, (as in i had got past a weekend which was my personal nemesis!) this isn't the end of the road, it is just a bump. @BunniesBunniesBunnies has been clear that the group is for non drinking folks. And a quick thank you to @BunniesBunniesBunnies for that reminder.
but please don't feel you can't post, just climb back on the proverbial wagon and we can and will support you.
@Onewildandpreciouslife so sorry to hear about your DHs friend, but well done on staying strong. @SavBbunny good luck with the house hunt, i don't envy you - although i love house shopping, the actual buying and selling bit is horrendous...

@touty

Think of it as a 'wagon wobble'.

Morning all.
Up early with better mobility.

Looking forward to viewing a very pretty cottage tomorrow. Hopefully it will suit and we can get moved for Christmas.

Morning @SavBbunny - love the phrase “wagon wobble”. Fingers crossed for high ceilings in the cottage tomorrow!

Hello @touty - sorry you’ve had a bad patch

Went to a work event yesterday. Drink wasn’t the main focus of the event, but of course everyone else was drinking. I usually use alcohol for courage at these things, because although I’m quite senior I’m actually very shy. The good news is that after about 10 minutes, when I did feel awkward, it was really good. I was chatting and joking - at one point I even checked myself because I thought I might be being too drunk and loud (but then remembered I was completely sober!).
Just reporting back because I think a lot of people worry about doing these things sober, but it was actually really good.

Morning @Onewildandpreciouslife its interesting to be at these things sober. Congratulations on your sobriety.
I tend to go to more lunch things these days as I don't live in London. I travel in. I did get asked yesterday to an event and I don't think I am ready. My invitee is a bit lecturing on the whole drink thing. She isn't a boozer and just says don't drink! Zero acknowledgement of my struggles. I know who will be there and they are like the 'Hell Fire Club ' but in frocks! 😂 Perhaps I will try a country dinner first taking the Gordon's af.

Not been on here much, crazy time at work🥵 Really stressed at home too and chugging back the AF beers. It does help.

@Touty, sorry to hear you’re struggling! Hop back on board! We’ve got your back!

@SavBbunny it’s frustrating when people don’t acknowledge your struggles. Some people lack empathy I find. We get it though and I hugely admire your sobriety, your wise words and your attitude!

Morning all.
A sniff of a new job and a fab cottage to see tomorrow. Very excited.
I am missing my counselling and feel I have lots bubbling up inside. I need to talk it out. (my therapist is on compassionate leave).
Just had first tea of the day which I really look forward to. In years gone by I wouldn't have really tasted it😀

According to one of the papers today, our late Queen stopped drinking and swapped her Gin and Dubonnet for apple juice. Seems we are in good company.

Have a safe and sober weekend all.

Day 139

Checking in. Hubby broke his af stretch today but didn't bother me.

Hello all - day 19 here and loving it. I had my first real test last weekend - a weekend visiting an old friend where we'd normally drink plenty of wine while catching up. I was nervous telling her I wasn't drinking but she was great and it was lovely. I had one of the worst hangovers of my life staying at hers a few years ago so felt very smug and happy waking up clear headed and well rested on the Sunday morning :-)

@Endofmytetherfinally my dh stopped drinking because I stopped buying it allegedly but occasionally comes back with a wee bit leftover wine from cooking at work. It doesn’t bother me too much as I can’t drink wine anyway but I get a pang for our old drinking routine. Then give myself a slap.

@BraveMaeve well done on day 19. It’s a rather nice feeling of smugness when everyone else is hanging and you feel great. Smugness usually doesn’t sit well with me except for this scenario.

I’m just a few days over 5 months af. This week I was feeling so confident I didn’t go to the SMART recovery meeting. Thought I didn’t need it that much. Oops. I should have gone and it might have given me more tools to fight last nights events.
Last night dh went to the kitchen and looked at my glass. For a second I though he was going to ask me if I wanted a drink. It felt really weird. Then he appeared with a glass of wine for himself. When I say half a glass, it was the dregs of a bottle of red with lots of water in it. That and the unhelpful conversation about how he expected me to trump him and tell him I had a bottle of vodka hidden away. It really triggered me. Wine witch/poison parrot was squawking in my ear for a good while.

There’s nothing I can do about him wanting to drink. I just don’t know how I’ll cope if he does bring our favourite brand of alcohol home. I don’t think he will, but a tiny part of me sees it as a possibility. I want to be strong enough to say no, even when it’s right in front of me. I’m not there yet but I’m on my way.

I came across this photo on twitter.

Love that photo @JesusSufferingFuck22

It is so true. I think moderating was even harder for me than when I was in my "fuck it" phase. I was so preoccupied with managing my drinking it was exhausting. Trying not to drink on a Friday, only to cane it on a Saturday.... what a waste.

(I was always in either moderation or what I call the "fuck it" phase where I just drank when I wanted too which would often end up being 4/5 days out of 7 with Dry January thrown in to make myself feel less guilty)

I don't miss it at all. I was all consumed with drinking. If I wasn't doing it I was planning how to do, looking forward to doing it or feeling anxious after doing it.

I am so happy to be AF. Its life now and I'm so much calmer and more balanced.

I even forgot my 7 month anniversary earlier in the week.

Love that pic @JesusSufferingFuck22 thanks for sharing!
Congrats on 7 months @Crunchymum!
@SavBbunny I hope you can access therapy again soon.

I’m finding life hard at the moment but struggling on with my meditation and my exercise and of course my sobriety. I’m still shit at meditating and my thoughts wander all the time, but I keep going anyway.
Also still trying to find little moments of joy in life which helps.

Well lads. I just got back from a friends who used to give me grief regarding my drinking. I haven't seen her this year and she was gobbed smacked I had given up the booze. She said I looked really well. She is a very strong personality and usually I come away feeling sh*t. She is very opinionated but she was only nosey today. I wonder if the fact I drove, didn't drink and didn't have a hangover helped? We had a good morning (I was on a tractor! ). I am beginning to stick up for myself and not allow people to hurt me. The answer wasn't in a glass for me, it is in self worth.
Have a good Friday my friends. I will be on the Gordon's af at 5 o'clock.