The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life! Alcohol support for those wanting to give up drinking.

[SavBbunny]

Hello all
This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.
Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).
We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling
So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile
Thank you to @fortheloveofgodwhy for hosting the last thread 💜
And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Hi @Louisepool I just read back to the previous thread to this and I had written this....

I've come to a slump and I'm very shouty and ratty (maybe my true personality lol) I just feel on edge at times, rushed, dissatisfied I find not drinking hard bloody work....I'm on day 22 but feel it should be longer! I'm well into sober diaries and on the bit where she's a 100 days and she's about to start talking about moderation so it's a good book and is helpful. I just don't know if I can do this sometimes. Hope everyone is ok

And then I messed up so back to day 1. But just saying about the hormones/depressed etc stuff happened to me too x

@SavBbunny your children sound so wonderful I honestly wish this for mine. I've been putting it off but will be making a GP appt for my eldest and his behaviours....but I have noticed the less sugar he eats the less tantrums..the dentist mentioned it when we went few weeks ago! But I'm going to try as I feel like I'm spinning and obviously drink thinks it helps but clearly just avoids all the issues ! Argh why. And also had a candid conversation with my niece about a family member who has alcohol dependency..I'm thinking is it genetic? Who knows.

Weeks.. 😱 day 13, 2 weeks down! I'm feeling OK today. We've had a fabulous day out and now in our PJ's about settle down for a board game before bed. Nice cuppa and a slab of Swiss roll to 🤩

Just back tracking to @Breathmiller and the breathing, anyone else stumbled across Josh Connolly? He does breath work sessions for emotional release. I've done one before and highly recommend it. There's a free session coming up next week :

us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZctf-qrpjsvH9C82OoqDFm4ngTUcr3P4paZ

I found this guy through a sober podcast I listen to called one for the road. I've found them very helpful when I'm alone and need to keep focused. One that note this weekend is going to be a real test.. the kids go to their dad tomorrow until Sunday evening.. I'm going to dig deep and not drown my sorrow's in wine!!

Happy weekend all xx

You’re doing brilliantly @rockbottombird . One of my favourite quotes about being sober is that you can spend your weekend building the life you want, instead of escaping from the one you have

Ooh I like that @Onewildandpreciouslife 🤩

@Namechanged12344 try not to give yourself a hard time, I’ve been trying to go sober since February and this is my longest stint so keep at it. I’m exactly the same as you, am I just moody by nature? But I have a lot of emotional issues to deal with and I think confronting them rather than hiding behind drink is the best way, even though it’s hard. Two kids doesn’t help the process 😩 x

@Louisepool thank you means a lot and it resonates as we have 2 kids, toddler stage for me was quite hard tbh and I drank way more back then! Well done for getting to where you are. I have previously managed a sober 10 months and was probably in my prime few years back, kids were small but I was present and managed holidays all inc everything. I don't know what happened and then last year did dry Jan and then recently 2 months. I'm going to re read all my old posts as I'm sure one said ' I'm feeling amazing because im free from thinking about drinking '. They talk about the bunnies and I want to get to that field but I've some way to go. Nearly finished day 1. Was kind to myself thanks to this thread. Well done @rock you are doing amazingly well, we are here all weekend. I'm scared about tomorrow going for a family lunch but can drive there thank goodness x

I've not been on for a while but I have had a big victory tonight!

I went to the theatre, everyone was drinking and offering me drinks and shots, I politely and resolutely declined and I am ecstatic with myself!

26 days!

Congratulations @SportsBra ! My first time sober at the theatre was really weird - there are so many rituals built up around it, that it’s hard to undo. You weren’t at Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club by any chance were you?

Good morning all.
So glad to read of your successes this morning. Well done @SportsBra I usually drive now to events to stop the temptation. Coppers daughter so would be too ashamed to dd.

@Namechanged12344 we had many issues with our youngest dc. Four ASD tests, school bullying and then a massive fall out. As she has matured she has become a delight. I did drink to blot it out. I couldn't cope with it on top of being a full time carer for my dying father. She is currently a NEET but all about to change next month with a new job and some study. I love my children but I couldn't eat a whole one 😁

I love this onewildandpreciouslife

Happy 2 weeks rockbottombird what an achievement. I remember the early days as a single mum when my kids went away, i found it really hard and it really knocked my mental health and I drank to try to blot it out. A much younger friend split up from her DH a few years ago and I was so impressed how she took her free time and did really lovely things for herself. Stuff she couldn't do when she as looking after the kids on her own. She said she owed it to herself to treat herself well. I wish I had done that. Everyone needs and deserves a break. Is there something you'd like to do but the kids might not like it so much? Art gallery? A walk they might not enjoy so much? Do you have a little money to have a small treat? (I didn't so I understand- although I seemed to find money for wine!) even if it is just watching a film in the day that you couldn't with the kids around. I hope you can enjoy some downtime.

Well done sportsbra. I always think these things we do where part of the habit was always drinking is a hard one to crack. So massive congratulations. It's just about retraining the habitual patterns.

Dh and I are going away for the night. Still on 2 sticks due to my injury but I'm hoping to manage. We won't do much, dinner out and should be nice accommodation so it will be good to get a change of scenery. First time leaving our DC's together overnight. Eek!

rockbottombird thanks for the link to the breath work. I haven't heard of him. I do a lot of work with breath in my work (hence my name - I am a miller of breaths) and always love hearing of people who do this
It is so powerful.

@Namechanged12344 I’m the same, just waiting for when I’m not even considering it anymore. I’m just trying to fill my time now so I don’t get bored but every social event is a test at the min and I’m not very good with peer pressure. Message me any time you’re struggling, I feel like we’re in the same boat at the min xx

This week I have mostly; carried on having some worrying physical symptoms for which I am due to have ultrasound next week, fallen flat on my face in the street so I have a fat lip and a massive gash on my forehead, woken up yesterday to the news that my friend, who was assured by her doctors that she wouldn't die, has done.

On top of that I am trying to find a way to rebuild my marriage after a very serious conversation with DH. He says I started pulling away after my DM died in 2016, which coincidentally is when the drinking started to get out of hand. However, we won't get anywhere if I put myself out to be with him and he just decides to go to the pub because he's bored.

Feeling rather that no-one told me it would be this hard. An afternoon of angry gardening may help.

Day 119

Sorry to hear about your week @DeedIDo especially about the loss of your friend.

I know its trite but try to focus on the positives. 119 days is a phenomenal achievement.

Losing my mum was the tipping point for me and my drinking. She died very suddenly and unexpectedly (coming up to 2 years now) and quite honestly I don't know how I'll ever get over losing her. Drinking was a natural comfort to me before she died but the overwhelmingness of my mum's loss meant my drinking soon went way beyond "comfort" level.

Sobriety hasn't made my grief any worse. That was a major fear for me, it was so hideously painful to lose her, I didn't want "sober grief" to cause me even more pain.

I still don't think I could have done those early weeks and months sober though!!

Evening all.
@Crunchymum @DeedIDo
My dad dying in 2017 was my catalyst for alcohol dependancy.
He was lovely. Always jolly, always my champion. Business problem? He could help. I started drinking at 14 but I could control it. A big hoorah and nothing for weeks. When you have a busy household, work, kids, it became a prop for me. My family are difficult. My father's death an excuse for feuds.
I know I am lucky having a sober husband. I think I might shoot someone who wasn't helping me.
We can only walk forward. The past is the past. We don' live there anymore.
I wish you all peace tonight. X

Evening all, checking in on day 14. I've had a challenging day dropping off the kids, sitting alone with my feelings.. on the drive back I'd talked myself into having just one glass of wine which would mean buying a bottle as I have none in the house. Anyway after much dithering in my head I've driven straight home put my night clothes on and settled for a capri sun 🌞 i absolutely cannot drink one glass I know that fgs!!!! I'm going to watch catch up love island USA and get a good nights sleep. Tomorrow I'm heading to the gym early for an outside pool swim and nice soak in the jacuzzi. Crazy how your mind can play tricks eh.. a good half hour in the car with that should I shan't I crap wizzing round my head..

Will catch up when I'm on my laptop later.. just need to be accountable here this evening. Love to you all xx

@rockbottombird what an achievement, it would have been so easy to just have one wouldn’t it??
I’m so pleased you have lovely things planned for yourself tomorrow - good choices
I remember several occasions when I put on pjs and locked the door to prevent a run to the corner shop 🤦🏼‍♀️
wishing you all a sober and calm night - take care

My head was really playing tricks on me.. then I played it forward. How would I feel tomorrow morning in I had wine.. bloody awful l.!! Very proud of myself and heading off to bed shortly. The PJ's on trick works 😉 I'm too cosy now to go back outside.

@dee

@dee
@DeedIDo sorry wasn't letting me tag properly but I hope you are ok, reading what you wrote makes me feel I should be grateful to one's closest to me and for my health etc so far.
@Louisepool I get exactly what you are saying every day is a test at the minute, luckily noone drank at the lunch which was great , I think in our minds we just assume people are gonna want wine like we always used to every occasion we could find . I recently just kept thinking from waking when my next drink would be. Awful when looking back. It was ok today tho, partner was drinking when we got back but even tho knackered I made myself busy and before you knew it witching hour had finished and I'm watching some Netflix. I have been eating a lot but not going to beat myself up for that. Day 2 nearly finished.
@Breathmiller sorry to hear you are still on crutches but I hope you are enjoying some nice time with your DH a kid free night whoooo my dream! Ha

Also @rockbottombird well bloody done for your perseverance tonight x

Morning Day 1 again...

Well played @rockbottombird ! I hope you have a lovely morning at the gym

@DeedIDo I’m so sorry you had such a tough week. I used drink to escape from my problems, but of course they didn’t go away, and I just ended up dealing with them jittery and depressed from the alcohol. What I like now is that if I say or do something, I know it’s me doing it - I don’t have to go over conversations trying to work out if it had been the booze talking

@Namechanged12344 - your post triggered a memory for me from my early days sober, watching people with wine in a restaurant, thinking “how can you drink it that slowly?!” And getting really quite stressed on their behalf!

Oh yes the going over conversations working out if it was the booze talking. I effing hate that. I hate the analysis urgh crap crap. I want to be me. I feel like I'm constantly having to talk to and entertain people- it's exhausting.