Support group for those affected by someone else's drinking

[fedup078]

Hi
I haven't seen a dedicated thread for the families or partners of alcoholics / problem drinkers so I thought I'd start one for people to check in for support.

My mother was a problem drinker from when I was 12 until she died when I was 36 2 years ago . I was nc at the time

Currently divorcing a drinker and feeling quite low about it all suddenly. I know there was nothing else I could do but it doesn't make it easier .

Have given al-anon a thought a few times but I'm not sure in person / zoom meetings are for me.

She has three kids so it won't be easy but hopefully this is the last straw and she will realise she has to leave. Possibly not though. I can look back on so many moments that should have been the last straw.

Same here @CharlotteByrde. I have 3 DC too and always said if it had just been the 1, I'd have gone the moment this nightmare started.

I also it gives you 3 times the reason to leave. My kids have been severely affected by our own nightmare experiences, even all those years later. I tried to persuade myself I was protecting them from the worst of it, but they have far too many horrible memories and I wish so much it hadn't gone on so long.

I agree with this. WIth hindsight there was a clear cut moment two years before I actually took action when I could and should have walked away. I stayed for two more years' worth of emotional damage to myself and my DC.

We are approachinmg the end of this thread, so I have started a fresh one. Come on over and we'll continue maintaining the safe supportive corner of Mumsnet for those of us who are going through it with a loved one who is in the grip of alcohol misuse and for those of us who want to pass on what we have learned from our own experiences.

Link to the new thread below:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5177307-continuing-support-group-for-those-affected-by-someone-elses-drinking

Around here the breakfast pint at 8.30 is the norm and many stay for the day. Poor area but the pub at the end of the road filled to bursting with mainly men, every night....
It's accepted that people get wasted, especially older ones as the younger ones seemed to have seen the problem.
I'm not saying these are all alcoholic of any kind but certainly drink dependent but functioning g enough to get by.
Really difficult to remove yourself from the " one won't hurt" culture but it can be done, my husband has many health issues, always had to have a drink or two or more at around 4, got told his kidneys were injured and had a couple of hospital stays, lost 2 stone and felt better about himself and is now 3 months into not drinking.
He has red wine at the weekend which worried me but it seems to hold him off from temptation so I suppose he is not alcoholic...... unless he slides back over Christmas, always in the back of my mind🤔
Also a tall glass of sparkling water with ice, lime/ lemon juice and cut fruit acts as a decoy in the week, I think it's the rattle...