The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[ChampooPapi]

Adm1010

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

Thank you to @Adm1010 for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

for CrunchyMum What flowers were your Mum’s favourites?

@Blackberryblossom

My late mum's were a rib of beef (she hated money spent on cut flowers, family joke ).
Just howled to her favourite hymn, make me a channel of your peace.
She would have approved of my lipstick shopping tbough.

@horlicks4me oh I'm sleeping well, but I always sleep very well tbh, I have 4 children (3 under 4 years) and am a student nurse so I'm pretty dam good at getting my head down 😂

Joining the new thread! 120 days here. Went out for Mother's Day lunch and was pleased to see some good AF cocktails. For the first time since I shared finances, I have some money of my own to save! Treat intake has increased but not too much I think. I've been buying flowers weekly and treat myself to the odd magazine. I think about having a drink still but there are a lot of gains to lose now if I do. Hope everyone is doing well x

@SavBbunny happy/sad memories. Funny about the beef rib though! I’m glad she would have approved of the lipstick. Today we are missing Mr Blackberryblossom’s mum, who died when I was 6 months pregnant with her granddaughter. She would always have taken fudge or chocolates over flowers, but was far too polite to say.

@Newmum738 you have stayed so strong through various temptations and conquered the urges, you deserve a very firm pat on the back for 120 days, you really do. You are amazing 💪💜

Hi Folk. Sending to all who have lost their dear mums.

Congratulations @Newmum738, 120 days is amazing.
@ PromisesMeanNothingSue. I listened to that very same Zoe podcast during the week. It was very unhelpful for sobriety but then something interesting happened. They were all talking of how a small glass or two of red wine was beneficial and anything else was detrimental. But then there was a bit where Dr Spector mentioned he ‘tried to have a couple of days off per week’ (or similar wording) and I thought how interesting. I think we all know on this thread what kind of relationship we are building with alcohol when we decide we need to try and take a couple of days off per week!!
I’ve not had the best of weeks. My DC1 was very upset with a Uni rejection on Friday. I managed to stay strong for them, and later took a walk and brief stop in a pub where I had a lemonade (so DH and I could discuss the situation ourselves). However on my return I took a complete hormone fueled wobble about the whole thing and downed something I should n’t have to calm my nerves as I was starting to have a panic attack. So stupid I know. I know I need better ways to cope with stress and acute anxiety.

I’ve been completely on track since, read quit lit over the weekend and feel back on course to stay AF forever again. Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone and those in early days you are doing great. It’s so difficult so feel proud of yourselves!

@iamyourequal thank you for coming on and being so open, sharing your wobbly moment. I think you have done an incredible job of staying present and there for your family, for so many people in your life. It's very good to see you giving yourself the time and attention to stay healthy too, mind, body and soul. Keep on track with giving yourself the time to indulge in the things you enjoy and need. You are a wonderful person and an inspiration, and your honesty is so important in my opinion on here. It has helped me so many times. Happy mother's day to you 💜

Checking in 🙌 not too shabby myself. Going to work hard this week and keep my idle hands busy with the text books 😉

Waves @BraveFaceScaredInside how's your day been today?

Thanks so much @ChampooPapi. Your words have me welling up! Very kind. And I got one of your purple hearts, I had purple heart envy 😊. Have a good week.

@ChampooPapi

Waves *@BraveFaceScaredInside* how's your day been today?

Hey 'waves back' much better today thank you, very glad I didn't cave last night

I'm sorry I don't want to trigger anyone but I had a drink.
Currently awake at 3.00am full of anxiety

I had an awful day and think my father is skippy away. Came home and my Dc1 has also had a uni rejection and currently now say they don't want to go. I knew in my heart that it wouldn't make me feel better, why did I still do it?
Every single time I've had a drink in the last few weeks I've woken up at 2/3ish unable to get back to sleep.

Im posting this for accountability. Im starting Day 1 again today but this time im sticking to it
Well done everyone else who has managed to stay sober and live to you all that are trying

Morning all

@Mikey555 good on you for getting right back on AF after your wobble, don't beat yourself up, be kind to yourself with lots of self compassion (I'm getting better at this- I'm trying very hard to be my own best friend and it's bloody lovely). I think many of us struggle to know what to do when faced with a stressful situation when we have been so use to reaching for the bottle to calm us down. However we also know that it doesn't make anything better because we end up with the horrible effects of drinking- anxiety, tiredness etc etc AND the problem that we were trying to escape from is still there. Sitting with your feelings and being curious about them is tricky but I would recommend it, I can't say I have mastered it fully but I am definitely better than I was and I don't panic as much as I did.
Also journaling is so beneficial or posting in here when struggling really helps, it takes away some of the power of the anxiety I find.

Sending positive vibes to all.

@Mikey555 Sorry to hear you're having a stressful time.
What is it about 3am? It's always been my wake up point after drinking (still is but early days yet). The sweats and palpitations are dreadful not to mention the dark thoughts swirling around in your head.
Well done for sharing. It's only day 3 for me so we will be at pretty much the same stage. x

@Mikey555 - an insta sobriety coach I follow says she encourages her clients not to think of occasions when they "slip up" drink as fails or restarting the clock from day 1. She calls them data points and sjhe gets her clients to think / journal about what led to it, how they felt before, etc so that they can learn to recognise their triggers and think about how to take a different path. Maybe thinking of it that way would help you be compassionate to yourself?

Morning everyone, stayed AF despite husbands beers, I wasn't annoyed with him, he's on his own journey, but it actually made me think yuk I must look pretty sloppy when drunk.

@Mikey555 - an insta sobriety coach I follow says she encourages her clients not to think of occasions when they "slip up" drink as fails or restarting the clock from day 1. She calls them data points and sjhe gets her clients to think / journal about what led to it, how they felt before, etc so that they can learn to recognise their triggers and think about how to take a different path. Maybe thinking of it that way would help you be compassionate to yourself?

Morning everyone, stayed AF despite husbands beers, I wasn't annoyed with him, he's on his own journey, but it actually made me think yuk I must look pretty sloppy when drunk.

Sorry about my last post, it's been an awful night.
Sorry for the typos
I'm supposed to go to work today, this month we are very short staffed.
Even though we are short staffed my manager decided to book a holiday so there is absolutely no cover.
I dont know what to do, he could be like this for weeks but my poor mum is on her own.
Im torn if I should go and stay there or just wait it out?
I wish they lived nearby so I could just keep popping in.

I'm so determined never to drink again now

Morning all.
Had a binge of Bridgerton (i watched the whole 8 episodes) plus chocolate and pud. Diet crap but no booze.
I wobbled last week @Mikey555 and @iamyourequal.
I had some great news followed by scullduggery by my old employer. I thought feck this for a game of soldiers.
My sweet husband bought me Friday flowers and he has been doing that on and off for months. I felt ashamed as I had already bought wine.
We had a chat about it yesterday and I felt I was missing out. I lunch out quite a bit and no one has invited me anywhere for weeks.
My husband said can't these people support you? Or is it holding a mirror up to their own struggles?
My best friend has been amazing others not so and I liked to be liked.
This is a hard journey but i am inspired by others who say it gets easier. @ChampooPapi, 4 children wow. A gift but hard work. Thank you for holding the thread.
Good luck today everyone.

Morning all. Mikey555 I’m sorry you had a rough night but posting here shows that isn’t where you want to be and accepts you need some support. I don’t know about you but for me admitting I needed to be here was a huge leap in admitting my drinking was a problem for me.

Day 50 today. I log every night before bed a chart if various data points, mood, sleep, BP pulse etc (all to do with thyroid meds) and drinking was one of them. Well it was a new page for today so I’ve removed the ‘alcohol’ column after 49 ‘0’. That felt momentous.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy
Well done on 50 days. 👍

I’m so sorry your dad is so ill @Mikey555 and that you live far away and that your DC has had a rotten rejection too. (Mine is the same as yours - saying don’t want to go to Uni now at all as that was the only course they wanted to do).

This is a fresh start from here for us all. We learn every step of the way with the AF life.

@SavBbunny, this is hard to say, but I’m concerned some of your ladies-who-lunch friends aren’t good enough for you. Can I ask though, do they know you have given up as it’s a problem and you have health concerns about your drinking? If you have told them this, and they aren’t supportive, they are not good friends, focus on the other lovely ones you have. You deserve better.
Well done @Fortheloveofgodwhy. 50!! 🎂

@iamyourequal

Ah the 'friends'.
My set are all big drinkers. I am usually the one throwing parties and entertaining. I sometimes feel like ruddy Butlins!
I think one friend is jealous of me and uses my addiction to make herself feel better. I don't drink as much as Sav blah blah. She drank three bottles of champagne at my birthday lunch in December. I paid! We went for lunch last month and she joined me in an af drink but moaned. She doesn't see a problem with drinking.
My other friends tell me I am not an alcoholic so why not just cut down a bit?
Tis tricky when they are all like this. I may have to have a talk individually. Tricky in a market town full of wine bars!

@SavBbunny. I am in the process of reading Sober Ever After : A Memoir.
She addresses her 'friends' and it certainly rang true with me.

@spacehardware

You are very wise. I was told to 'park a blip' by my counsellor. What's done is done, today is a new day.

79 days for me.

Hello all, checking in on Day 51 after missing yesterday. I made Day 50 which was such a relief to be honest. Like so many of you I am really struggling with it at the moment. That has given me a lift though which is good. And it is a new week. It is definitely a case of odaat at the moment.

I am so sorry to those that have lost parents, and @mikey555 for what you are going through with your Dad. Definitely focus on self care and be kind to yourself. It sounds like you have so much going on