@pointythings
I lost my mum in 2019. She turned to alcohol when my father was diagnosed with Parkinson's dementia and after he died, she deteriorated massively. I believe she was trying to end her life. In the space of 5 years she drank herself into full blown Wernicke-Korsakoffs and there was nothing we could do about it. She died from a fall down the stairs at home while getting up in the wee small hours for a top up - she wouldn't keep a bottle by her bed, that would have been admitting she had a problem.
Between losing her and my husband to the drink, DJ is always poignant for me.
TRIGGER WARNING - POST DISCUSSES SEXUAL ABUSE
@pointythings - this is so sad about your mum. My dad drank himself to death (organ failure) in a few years from my mum dying. He had been a moderate drinker up until them despite being very much a 'working man' and socialising in working men's clubs.
My mum was an alcoholic most of my adult life. I left home as soon as I could to get away from her. When I was growing up, she was a great mum and I remember a feeling of feeling sorry for other children as they didn't have 'my mum'. When I was twelve, a distant relative came back into our town and my mum started drinking. I wasn't aware of the relative's return at the time. All I knew was my once-lovely mum became a horrible creature who was drunk every evening. She never drank before 4pm as drinking in the day was for alcoholics, but she started at 4 on the dot and was blind drunk every night. Her and my dad went to pubs at the weekend and we lived in a small town and I would see friend's dad's manhandling her into a taxi with my dad to get her home. It was excruciatingly embarrassing and more so as she was a woman. It was a 'man's pub' and she was the only woman who went in.
Anyway - she died of heart disease exacerbated by alcoholism when I was 21. I thought it would give my dad a new lease of life. I myself felt relieved when she died, almost happy. My dad started drinking and ended up in an early grave. At his funeral, a friend of his spoke and said he's always said "there's a wee woman up in heaven waiting for me".
Decades later I found out that my poor mum had been subjected to horrific sexual abuse from the distant relative who came back to the town, when she was an older child/young woman. Only he wasn't distant - he was her brother. And apparently their father / my grandfather used to laugh about it. It totally broke me and I myself hit the bottle hard. It was during lockdown and I was WFH so it was easy to drink nearly all day some days if I had no meetings.
I felt so sad for my mum but also angry that I'd never had the chance to understand her and maybe help her when she was still alive. My dad knew all about it so he had great compassion for her and truly loved her.
Ironically I swore to myself when I was about 16 that I would never put my children through what she did. And yet, there I was doing the same thing to my DC. It's truly awful what alcohol can do to make a bad situation even worse.
My best wishes to everyone who has experienced loss through drink and drugs 
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Day 19 DJ/ 24 AF for me and still going strong.