Dryer than a Tena Lady - DJ2022 #2

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

New thread for those of us attempting Dry January.

Sorry to hear that @iloverock. Try and focus on the fact that if you drink you'll most likely be sad AND hungover tomorrow rather than 'just' sad. You can always talk to us.

I’m sorry for everyone who is grieving and for those having a difficult time.

I lost my mum at the end of October. I couldn’t get home for the funeral because of Covid. I’d already agreed to do the 30 AF November on here and was determined not to use my mums death as an excuse to drink, but then I had some quite devastating family problems mid November, and fell off the proverbial wagon. I don’t think I’ve even started to grieve properly…I haven’t been able to get home for the last two years. She had dementia and in phone calls home she wasn’t always sure who I was, so I feel like I lost her a long time ago. I know I probably won’t get to see my dad again = he’s very old and frail - and that breaks my heart.

Life is really crap sometimes, but we’ve got this. Day 19 here (-1 glitch) and not really missing it most nights. My partner has cut down but is still drinking every night which is disappointing, but I’m just leaving him to it and getting on with study and music practice.

Onwards and upwards.

Our motto “There is no problem that cannot be made worse with alcohol”

@iloverock I'm sorry to hear that, was it expected? Hope you've got some good support around you.

And know how you feel Pirates

My OH is moving more from slightly damp to wet over the month, but like you just leaving him to it. Ironically I'm far more resilient than he is- it took a LOT to make me crumble- but for him an even slightly stressful day = G&T. But he is having less to drink overall, which can only be a good thing.

On a positive note, have managed my mini workout twice this week, and am finding/carving out time for a lunchtime and evening walk for past couple of weeks, getting my 3 miles in

@Mybestyear

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry it's such a sad one and I'm sorry you had to go through what you did with your mum (and dad).

Alcohol is so available and accessible and accepted. Alcohol abuse is so insidious. It really is scary. I don't know anyone who is untouched by alcohol issues on some level (to varying degrees).

@guineapigs

Got my blood test results and they were fine. I am on high risk medication and have three monthly blood tests. I was worried that my autumn boozing would show somehow.

I went to a pub lunch today and I had AF Stella. It was surprisingly good.

I too have regular blood tests due to my condition and medication.

Was hoping to have a blood test at the end of the month, after a good period of being AF, but my condition is flaring so I suspect abnormal results on that basis.

Goodness, sorry to hear the heartbreaking story @mybestyear and sorry for your heartbreak @iloverock. Stay strong people, we're all doing so well. Another productive evening for me whilst dc were out, cleaned out some kitchen cupboards and helped an elderly neighbour out who was unable to change their broken lightbulb. Such a small easy job for me but meant so much to him.

Sending hugs and positivity to those struggling with life and grieving/dealing with the past.

I had an awful year last year and my drinking really got quite bad towards the end of the year. I feel much more in control starting the new year fresh and hope that last years bad luck doesn't creep into this year x

Day 19, checking in. Got this week off and although I don't have any plans. I'm enjoying being clear headed, knowing I can potter about in the car whenever I like. Definitely will be carrying on past January, doing Dry-uary and taking it through February too. Not able to think too far ahead yet, too daunting/ overwhelming but I can visualise February!! 👍🏼

Big hugs to everyone who has been through such difficult times 

Sorry to hear @iloverock about your relationship too, I know it can feel extremely distressing but I hope you're holding up okay - one thing someone said to me is it is important to feel all the feels and being AF is important for this if you can keep it up to work through the emotions that you need to. I guess that's true for everyone especially with grief too

Day 20 here for me. I had my first dry birthday in years and feel so pleased and happy about it. I have also refrained during tough times so right now feel like if I have got through some bad times and the bday I'm hoping it should be easier now going forwards. I'm potentially considering February now too.

Well done everyone again, so much strength and solidarity in this little group. We can do it keep going

Morning everyone! I don't know about everyone else but since running my 5k at the weekend I feel bloody invincible. I'm sure some of it is down to DJ and I want to hold onto this feeling for as long as possible

Morning! That's awesome Ghast, bloody good for you I also feel better for- finally- prioritising the need for exercise. And especially outdoor exercise.

Good. 20th morning everyone
Nearly 3 weeks !
Thanks @IJustLovePirates for remembering the quote correctly , I think I should embroider it on a cushion now that I have more productive time on my hands in the evening 😀

❤️There is no problem that cannot be made worse with alcohol🌸

With hearts and flowers around it

Off to the gym this morning , DSIS and I joined an outdoor running group last spring , and ran 5k round the park in June ( everyone else in the park must have been terrified of the group of about 40 women trooping round at various speeds with determined looks on their faces ) hoping to get back to that when that days get longer

Which they are already ! Really noting how much later it gets dark , and we’ve had some spectacular sunsets as the weather has been so clear

Have a good day , and remember to drink lots of water

Just checking in at the end of day 19. I had two bits of news today - a date for my practical assessment for a course I’m doing which made me nervous, and my new band has been offered a gig which I’m excited and nervous about.

My knee jerk reaction was to want to have a drink. I didn’t but it’s clearly still my default position if anything happens. I asked OH to have an AF night with me and he did which is a good but rare event.

@NorthernChinchilla and @MyGhastIsFlabbered
Well done on the exercise!! @CrumpetswithMarmite well done on the dry birthday and many happy returns

Virtual hugs or handholds to anyone else needing one. Sorry…I’m in my bed on iPad and having scrolling back probs x

I've just re-read my last post and I do apologise - it seems terribly insensitive to crow about how great I feel when you've been sharing terribly sad stories. It wasn't meant like that and I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

Don't think anyone's offended, I'm certainly not Hearing about how well people are doing with DJ is positive encouragement, and we're all in for the glum, the good and the wobbles!

Weekend in sight, going to spend most of it unwashed and up a ladder as I decorate the hall, in expectation that we might soon be moving....

I'm not offended at all, I love hearing the positive stories.

Today my DD1 turns 21. She's at uni and her house mates have thrown her a surprise party. I shall toast her with a spiced berry cordial and tonic.

Another one not offended @MyGhastIsFlabbered

This is just a microcosm of the wider world and we’re all sharing our experiences, good and bad, and giving each other moral support.

You’re inspiring me to get out of bed on a dull ‘dreich’ day and exercise 😀

Day 20!!!

I like hearing the full range of positives and negatives / highs and lows we're all hear in spirit supporting each other.

I've had a few pretty tough days but I'm out the other side and feeling pretty good right now. Proud to have resisted even at low points. Now feeling so much healthier and more happy. Have also now really appreciated working through issues with OH that I would normally avoid.

It's the first time I've really started to seriously considering carrying on being AF beyond January.

I am also absolutely loving still the mornings of knowing I have not had alcohol. That novelty hasn't worn off even tho I'm now finishing day 21.

I’m also enjoying being AF. I did have a blue becks this evening and it was lovely but one was enough. We’ve also got covid in the house (not me…yet) and that would have been an excuse to drink as I can’t work atm. My friend couldn’t believe I hadn’t caved when we got the positive result! I too feel strong. I’m eating better, running (and randomly enjoying it) and I’ve just got loads more energy.

Sorry to those of you who have been through a tough time. Let’s hope for a great 2022 x

Morning all. Slept like a log last night.
One thing I've found DJ helping with is that I'm looking forward to the weekend for its own sake, not as a chance to have a drink. Not to say that when DJ is over I won't enjoy a drink, but planning just on Saturdays with nice food as our date night

And well done Daisy and Crumpets for not caving in the face of a challenge, we can do this!

Happy Friday, everyone. We are almost on the home stretch. I'll be having an AF beer later on.

Sorry to all who have suffered so much as a result of alcohol (or the use of alcohol as a coping mechanism).
@iloverock I hope you don't mind my asking, but do you think DJ precipitated the split? I find me and my DH have taken to staring at one another over the kitchen table. What do people who don't drink do in the evenings? I don't think we have much in common--we both resort to staring at separate screens...
Glad to hear everyone having such positive physical reactions to DJ; wish I could say the sameI'm getting plumper by the minute as I cannot withstand the allure of crisps (can relate to the limited willpower theory), and I'm dragging and achyall the things I thought would be alleviated by DJ!

Hi everyone day 21 we’re nearly there. Sorry to hear all the sad stories - I am so impressed with the strength you’re all showing staying off the booze.

I am definitely sleeping better after a few restless nights initially and it is so nice to wake up clear headed everyday.

The thread has made me think about my reasons for drinking and how best to manage it going forward. Quite a few comments on this & the previous thread have really resonated - having a drink because I’ve had a good day / bad day / am on holiday/ it’s the weekend/ sun is shining/ it’s miserable - basically any excuse. Also comments about being unable to leave a bottle of wine totally agree I have no off switch with wine whereas beer / spirits I can have a couple and stop.

So in future I am going to moderate drinking. Couple of drinks at the weekend / on holiday and on nights out but no more mid week boozing and I will stop having wine in unless it’s for guests.

Think I will also try another dry month later in the year to keep up the habit.

Apologies for the long posts- feels very cathartic to write it all down.

Koko everyone we’re doing great

Day 21 and finally sleep is improving. Bounced out of bed at 0615 today - it's been a while since that happened!

We are out tomorrow for dinner with friends of DH. He is, I think, planning to drink. I'm unsure. Part of me says one night won't hurt and it will help me get through an evening with people I don't like. The other part of me says it will undo all the good work I have done and may derail DJ completely.

Decisions, decisions.