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Alcohol support

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Original poster

Day 1

1000 replies

moochies · 26/12/2021 16:48

I posted another thread earlier about my disaster of a Christmas Day.

I just can't do it anymore, looking into the future I can see myself losing everything, my DH, friends, family. I was considering taking myself to a&e this morning because I was such a mess.

I'm absolutely determined to do it this time, so this is day 1.

Please join me.

OP posts:
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11
teaandtoastwithmarmite · 12/10/2022 19:12

How is everyone? I went to a party a few weeks ago and got quite drunk. Didn't do anything bad but my cousin in law said I was being a bit shouty so I'm glad it was the end of the night then. I am back on the wagon now as it were. I don't want to go back to that anxiety again. How are you all getting on x

Thenakedwineglass · 12/10/2022 23:35

Hi I’m not a pp but found this thread when I was in the depths of hangxiety a while back and it really helped me and it inspired me to go AF… 6 weeks this weekend so not a huge length of time but the longest I’ve done in years and I’m feeling so much better for it.

Glad you returned to the thread. Was it a one off do you think or will you drink on odd occasions ?

Haveatakeaway · 12/10/2022 23:50

Hey @teaandtoastwithmarmite I was thinking about you earlier today weirdly, as I had a few shit things going on but they weren't alcohol related so I didn't wanna clog the thread!

Were they drinking? Do you mean your cousins partner? I sometimes think a lot of people think "well, I was drinking but I didn't get as bad as them!" as a defence thing. Or maybe like us " shit, I'm trying not to drink and I slipped, at least I don't do it every weekend "

Its all bloody rubbish anyway. Hope your ok and the anxieties gone mate.
nothing worse, but I know you got it

Harrystylestutu · 12/10/2022 23:54

@Thenakedwineglass I'm so glad you found the thread! Welcome. I think a few of us have a tight bond now, please join us. I'm on and off the wagon. Currently off, and I know why (stress trigger) and I knew as soon as I woke up I was going to drink today. We're all in it together here.

Harrystylestutu · 12/10/2022 23:55

Also congrats on your six weeks!! 💐

Harrystylestutu · 13/10/2022 00:18

Sorry should say I'm an avid reader of the thread too! Six weeks is awesome,my longest was about 3 years because I was pregnant, had newborn, pregnant again, newborn lol. I was a nightmare before and I am again now. I'm so glad you posted 💐

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/10/2022 08:38

Well done on the six weeks! My longest was 7 months then I cracked but it's fine
@Haveatakeaway yes. It's my husband's cousin's wife. She's always out. She said something like I thought you were going back to before but then you were fine. I don't like the hangxiety though. What does annoy me is my sister in law loves alcohol and she's always going ooh no hangover which is a bonus or we had this drink or that drink like it's a badge of honour. She said to me I really don't know how you can not drink it's my worst nightmare but you are a nightmare when you're drunk so I see why. You've done really well then I'm like thanks. Why do people think drinking is so important?

bitachey · 13/10/2022 08:48

I think you can always find a reason to drink - stress, celebration…. It doesn’t help the stress though, just kicks it along the road.

your sil @teaandtoastwithmarmite that’s pretty sad that giving up drink is her worst nightmare. She doesn’t sound a very supportive person to be around. I think I’ve been lucky that all my friends/family are really supportive and people are always intrigued into why I gave up (I wasn’t really an outwardly problem drinker but used it to hide from stressful situations). Do you think moderation will work for you?

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/10/2022 08:50

She's a lovely woman and I think she is being supportive in her own way I just feel like she thinks I'm the sad one for not being able to handle my drink. She's in the forces though so I guess that's a factor. DH said he hasn't noticed it like me but then his family are all big drinkers except for other sister.

bitachey · 13/10/2022 08:51

and to answer your question- marketing of alcohol and our culture has everything to do with it. It’s the biggest con. Especially targeting mothers. Like the little blue pill of the 1960s - dull the reality.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/10/2022 08:52

Re moderation no. I thought it might but at the party I would have had another if they hadn't stopped serving. I'm not an alcoholic by any stretch I just seem to be about two drinks behind in how drunk I think I am iyswim

bitachey · 13/10/2022 08:52

It sounds like she’s got a problem herself. In my experience those who make a big issue or try to undermine you not drinking are the ones with the problem.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/10/2022 08:53

bitachey · 13/10/2022 08:51

and to answer your question- marketing of alcohol and our culture has everything to do with it. It’s the biggest con. Especially targeting mothers. Like the little blue pill of the 1960s - dull the reality.

You're right. Loads of people think drinking is the be all and end all. I have one friend who doesn't drink though. I have a friend who is married with a child and he spends his whole weekends on the piss. I don't know how he manages it. Holds down a job as well.

bitachey · 13/10/2022 08:55

I don’t think labelling people like us as alcoholics helps. It’s such a loaded term. Personally I’d say I had an unhealthy dependency on alcohol. Most people on this forum do/did.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/10/2022 08:58

I agree. I would say I have an intolerance to it. My system just can't cope with it. I'm on a small dose of AD as well for anxiety so that probably plays a part

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/10/2022 09:01

I think my mistake was telling them all I'm not drinking blah blah. Think I'm just not going to say anything that will give them ideas to talk about it anymore

bitachey · 13/10/2022 09:01

Good luck with it @teaandtoastwithmarmite the thing that has made a huge difference to me is to find a passion. My passion (new hobby) needs me to be sober and not hungover! So I don’t feel deprived not drinking.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/10/2022 09:03

Thank you @bitachey. Well done for you. I have some newer hobbies too that require a clear head. It's just when we go to stuff with them. I don't drink at home anymore. And I've probably drunk alcohol a handful of times this year. Only been drunk once this year.

bitachey · 13/10/2022 09:07

@teaandtoastwithmarmite sounds like you’re doing pretty well then. ❤️ I would reframe it with they’re the ones with issues, not you!

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/10/2022 10:07

I actually agree with you. Don't think sil has issues as she never gets in any situation that's bad and she is healthy but I think it's just not for me Smile

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/10/2022 10:08

And I appreciate that as I felt like I'd failed a few weeks ago but I see it as testing the waters

bitachey · 13/10/2022 10:10

that’s what you see (as would people looking at me) but anyone who “couldn’t think of anything worse than not drinking” has issues around alcohol and is dependent.

bitachey · 13/10/2022 10:13

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/10/2022 10:08

And I appreciate that as I felt like I'd failed a few weeks ago but I see it as testing the waters

I think stopping drinking is a journey and there are peaks/troughs and missteps along the way. I think I’ve got to know myself much better and my life is much richer now I’m not blocking things out. It’s been tough too as I’ve had to examine lots of things about myself which can be tough. Put my marriage under a bit if strain too but it’s better now than it was.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/10/2022 10:14

That is interesting. I thought it was a bit sad she said that really. She has an extremely active social life and a lot of friends though. But I think I will just avoid those types of conversations with her. She can go places and not drink if she's driving for example but her nights out consist of alcohol. I feel bad talking about her now but it occurred to me the other day

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/10/2022 10:15

Sounds like you have had quite a journey and I'm pleased things are good for you now and your marriage is better

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