Day 1

[moochies]

I posted another thread earlier about my disaster of a Christmas Day.

I just can't do it anymore, looking into the future I can see myself losing everything, my DH, friends, family. I was considering taking myself to a&e this morning because I was such a mess.

I'm absolutely determined to do it this time, so this is day 1.

Please join me.

Well I managed and onto my first not hungover saturday in years! Onto day 4 for me @Bizzywater its not worth the feeling the next day is it? I hate it. Lots of water. My anxiety was horrendous the nights after drinking.

@Bizzywater very tired and a bit of a headache. Much less productive day than usual. Ended up having beers with Dh and playing darts at home
Oh well, we live and learn I guess. The same lesson over and over by my bloody standards. Sending support and of course a takeaway of your choice. I guess it's good that we at least acknowledge alcohol isn't working for us and are actively trying to stop.

Hi all. I had four beers on Sunday. The weather was lovely, we were at an outdoor thing and no alcohol free beer. No it's not an excuse but I stopped before it got stupid. Went home then back out with DH and drank alcohol free beer then. No desires to get drunk.

Can I join? Day 4 and I caved while cooking an endless dinner. Got to eat or prep earlier!

Oh @teaiim sorry I haven't checked in. You're still my motivation, and you're doing amazing. I think if I had four beers and went back out I'd continue drinking.
You don't have to justify yourself to us, were all on the same path, you're just a bit further along. I did about 4 weeks as my longest stretch.

The.weird thing is in my 20s I didn't really drink at all. I was pregnant for a lot of it lol and had babies close together, then i had a stillborn son and magically remembered I like a vodka and coke, or a pint of lager, or cider or anything that's going. This is still not an excuse though. I had another son after and didn't crave a drink once.

From tomorrow I'm setting my sober counter up again and going for it (she says). I'm going to download my sober books again etc, and I've got tonnes of paperbacks. I can't listen to podcasts because my YouTube and Spotify is linked to my sons account, and I couldn't bear him to see.
Wish me luck mate.

Also welcome @Whoops1 ! You'll get loads of support and a few laughs off this thread.

How you doing @Bizzywater ? I hope you're ok

Welcome @Whoops1!

How is everyone doing?

Hi all. Been away for a while and fell off the wagon. Feel like I'm going backwards. How are you all?

Hi @Bizzywater good thanks. Just come back off holiday. Why do you feel like you're going backwards?

Erm…I’m not doing so well! 🤣

Hi guys, what makes you think you're going backwards @Bizzywater ? How was your holiday @teaandtoastwithmarmite ? are you ok @Haggisfish3 ?

How are you @Haveatakeaway ?
Holiday was lovely thanks. I did drink because it was AI but I paced myself and did not binge drink at all

I’m great in my life, just not in stopping drinking. I think I’m going to go back to local alcohol services and ask for naltrexone.

@Haggisfish3 I used to be so confused with drinking. I was used to hitting goal after goal but I couldn't seem to get my arms around drinking. I was very committed to changing but then I would give in again and again. But I did find a way through and you will too. That is what I would offer at this very specific moment in time: just see that it is possible for you to achieve your drinking goals. You don't even need to know how. Just "It's possible". What comes up for you?

Frustratingly I know it’s possible. I did a month previously and felt brilliant. I don’t have any of the usual concerns about stopping like socialising or losing friends etc. I think it’s one of two things -I either don’t want to stop at some level or I worry if I have no vices lest at all that I will lose some part of being interesting. I don’t really believe that at all, but I wonder if there is a tiny part of me that resents having to stop and just doesn’t want to. Even though I do really .🙄

@Haggisfish3 It sounds like you're on to yourself 😎 But what you say makes absolute sense. Because we do tend to resent things we HAVE to do. I resent having to pay increased energy bills, for instance. But really I don't have to. I could choose not to. Now there's a consequence to that - I'd have no power in my house - but it's a choice available to me. Just like your drinking. You don't HAVE to stop. You really don't. But telling yourself that is just going to make you resent this (eliciting feelings of it not being fair, why me and so on) AND it will make alcohol seem even more desirable (for we always want what we cannot have). What comes up for you if you reframe it as a choice. You don't have to drink less, you really don't, but you are choosing to.

When I get into that frame of mind, it works. I’ll get into again. I know I will. It appears randomly. Well, probably not randomly. But I know I will feel like it’s a choice again at aome point and will choose not to drink. I’ll get there.

@brightspice thank you so much for replying. It really helps.

@Haggisfish3 don't beat yourself up. I'm sure you're doing really well. I stopped for 7 months and started again as went to a festival where there was no AF beer. I didn't have loads though

@teaandtoastwithmarmite thank you-I’m really not doing well though! In terms of drinking. I’m having at least three quarters of a bottle of wine a day. I’ll get there though.

@Haggisfish3 the thing that shifted for me was when I fully realised I could create any frame of mind and any emotion inside me at any time, irrespective of what was going on around me (where I was, who I was with, etc.). This is why I say that stopping overdrinking is actually very simple. Here's what I would offer: the next time you reach for a drink, ask yourself why you're having it. Then ask yourself when you pour a second then a third. Stay conscious and curious. Don't accept "I don't know" from your brain. Be brutally honest with yourself. We need to find out what thoughts are driving the show. Like I said, simple. (This doesn't necessarily mean easy, but I bet you've done loads of hard things in your life. This is just one more of them.) x

Im doing alright thanks @teaandtoastwithmarmite still the odd drink here and there but no binging and I can finally stop after two, although I know I have to watch myself and not become complacent, that's when I start loosing control. Well done on the holiday, that sounds great! Are you planning on going af again now you're home?

I like your thoughts about choices @brightspice thanks for always coming on with new perspectives and ways for us to challenge our thinking. Do you ever get fed up with everyone repeating the cycle? You're really kind to keep coming back.

@Haggisfish3 I can really relate to your post. I have every faith in you the when the time is right you'll find your balance

@Haveatakeaway hehe, the reason that themes repeat themselves is precisely because the way to stop overdrinking is simple 😯
… it’s applying the learnings that’s the hard bit and that differs for everyone. It was such a miracle for me that I left my job to offer 1-1 coaching to people who just want to be DONE with the drinking struggle and get on with their lives. But I appreciate that may not suit everyone or coaching might be an unknown quantity to others (besides which there are not enough hours in the day for me to meet 1-1 with everyone who might want to), so that’s why I show up on forums like this to offer different perspectives. So thank you for your kind words. (PS: If you want to receive tips, techniques and tools delivered direct to your inbox you can sign up here: 90dayslater.co/list) Above all else I want to dispel all the shame that gets associated with drinking.

Well, going backwards in terms of sobriety. Need to remind myself of the sober lit and why I don't want to keep drinking. And tell the voice that tells me I want to keep drinking to stfu

@Haveatakeaway yes I am. Went to a festival at the weekend and drunk af beer.