Day 1

[moochies]

I posted another thread earlier about my disaster of a Christmas Day.

I just can't do it anymore, looking into the future I can see myself losing everything, my DH, friends, family. I was considering taking myself to a&e this morning because I was such a mess.

I'm absolutely determined to do it this time, so this is day 1.

Please join me.

Well done @teaandtoastwithmarmite

Thanks @Bizzywater
Well done to you for coming back and @Haveatakeaway. You're both doing really well and helping me stay motivated so thank you.

Checking in. No drinking seems to equal more eating which is not good. Stalled on reading my books as I've been really busy with work, kids activities, gym... I've just been crashing into bed
How's everyone?
@Haveatakeaway - how are you getting on this week?

Hi guys. Just wrote a long message and son has managed to delete it with a palm to my kindle. Haven't had a drink since Sunday and don't want to, ever again. It wasn't me being a knob this time it was Dh and I've never seen him like that in 15 years. he ended up having an angry shoving match with a friend in the pub. I wasn't there but apparently we're hot gossip still. Dh is mortified, barely spoken all week, apologised to me. It's really made me open my eyes to alcohol. My gentle, kind husband has never done anything like that. When I finally found him two people asked if I was ok to go.home with him as they were worried. I feel a bit guilty as the reason Dh had this argument was because I told him that his friend had sent me a message asking for a sexual favour. I was torn whether to tell him or not but I just blocked the friend straight away and didn't want Dh to feel like a fool finding out from someone else and didn't want him to stay friends with someone like that. It's been a horrible week and now I have a chest infection. How are you doing @Bizzywater ?

@Haveatakeaway just seen your post. How are you and DH? I really feel for you both. DH's 'friend' is a disgrace not him. I hope he's ok. Drink does bring out the worst in us. Hence why I stopped as I started being aggressive but it sounds like your husband was pushed to his limit.

Also hope your chest infection clears up soon. I also wanted to say I tried giving up many times but was determined this time because I knew it was having a very bad effect on me. Sometimes it takes one moment to turn it around.

Thank you that's kind. He's still very quiet, I think he shocked himself. His friend is a disgusting creep. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, but it was a few weeks ago and I told him at the time and he was angry, then I guess he saw him on Sunday and the red mist descended. Would you have told your dh?
I can understand drink making you aggressive now as I've never seen my husband have even an argument in 15 years! Nearly finished my antibiotics now thank god, feeling a bit better today

@Haveatakeaway I would've yes. I couldn't have him being friends with someone like that. In fact when we were really young and not been going out long one of his friends came on to me in front of him in a club and I did tell him. This was 20 years ago but I'd do same now. I get your DH being angry but alcohol doesn't help to express it in the best way x

I hope I've explained that right. Hope your DH is ok. And you x

Checking in. Hope you're ok @Haveatakeaway . @teaandtoastwithmarmite you're doing so well
I managed weekdays sober but had a drink Friday, sat and tonight. Didn't get wasted but trying to cut down more going forward. New week tomorrow.

Hi everyone @Bizzywater thats ok. You seem in control of it and that's awesome.

I was talking to a friend and she said but you will get pissed when we go to (event) in august won't you. I was like no and she really didn't get it.

Hi @Bizzywater and @teaandtoastwithmarmite I had a beer with Dh when we went for a meal 2 days ago, but moderation is definitely getting better. Not ideal but I'm not beating myself up.

I'm up with my 13 year old lab atm, he's poorly. I think the end is nearing for him his mobilities getting worse and he keeps walking sideways and banging into obvious stuff. He was sick twice yesterday and he's really panting now. He's just got himself up on the sofa and manages the stairs most days but I don't want to leave him. We lost his sister last summer infront of the kids in the garden and my 8 year old is still traumatised by it and won't let anyone say her name. I'm dreading the same happening again.

@teaandtoastwithmarmite do you think your friends saying that because she won't want to drink alone? @Bizzywater that's great moderation!

Hey @Haveatakeaway. We lost our dog last year, it was devastating. It's so hard as they get older.

I'm having more drink free days, and drinking less when I do drink. I've stopped drinking things I don't really enjoy as well, trying to avoid drinking for the sake of it. I think gradual is working better for me

Hey @Bizzywater that sounds so good. Do you feel better mentally?
I have to admit I am having a drink right now with dh and my mum, playing darts and watching quiz shows . I'm having fun but still watching doggy and feeling guilty. But im not going out, kids are in bed, and i'll probably head off soon aswell. how's your week been? @teaandtoastwithmarmite what have you been up to?

How's everyone getting on? Hope your good @Bizzywater & @teaandtoastwithmarmite

@Haveatakeaway gosh I'm sorry I've not answered. It's been busy but I should've come back to you. I'm good thanks. How are you?

Yeah I'm ok, On the sober train 🚆 and going strong 💪. Glad you're ok.
I'm actually feeling really rubbish.TMI I've been on my period for three weeks tomorrow, still full flow and as heavy as day one and two. I'm on tranxamic acid and strong cocodamol from the doctors but I am so drained. I feel so dizzy and sick. I'll ring the doctor again on Monday I think. I fucking hate hospitals, especially with the agoraphobia but I would happily go in and get them to take the whole bloody lot out.

Well done! That's awesome. Sorry about your period. It sounds really tough

How's everyone doing?

Hi everyone just wanted to check in and see how you all are? X

Anyone there? Hope you're all ok.

Hi @teaandtoastwithmarmite how are you?! So sorry haven't been checking in! How are you doing?

Aah so good to hear from you @Haveatakeaway ! How are you? I am good thanks

So glad you replied! Missed you bud!

I'm not sober but I've stopped going to the pub, so just having a drink at home when the kids are in bed once a week. I don't talk shit to anyone etc, just a couple then go to bed lol. But it's done so much for my MH!

how have you been? I remember you had a few family gatherings and festivals etc? You're bloody wonder woman! I can't be around drunk people now because they are so annoying, and I was probably the worst!

Not sure if I mentioned before or you remember, but dhs going for his skin cancer op tomorrow.we went to bed at half nine but I'm awake still, just tidying up random crap lol.

so glad to hear from you (unmumsnet) hug x