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Alcohol support

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Freedom! An alcohol free thread, for alcohol free people.

999 replies

Drybird2020 · 16/08/2021 20:30

This is the latest in an established series of supportive and friendly threads, for anyone committing to a life without booze. If you have tried and failed to be a sensible, occasional or moderate drinker, and have come to the conclusion that you just can’t do it, you are in good company.

I won’t lie, the first part is tough. And it’s tougher for some than others. You will need to learn new ways of managing stress and negotiating social occasions. You will have to learn that alcohol and fun are not the same thing. Your relationships will change, often for the better, but some hard-drinking friends will turn away from the mirror your sobriety holds up to their own habits. You will find that the feelings you tried to drown in booze, come bubbling up to the surface and there’s no option but to face them. You will feel physically and emotionally low, as you relive and regret the stupid, painful and selfish things you did while drinking.

Here’s the good news: the first part will soon be over. It will be more worth it than you can possibly imagine. Life will still be messy, difficult and poignant, but so much sweeter, sharper, and more real.

This thread is a great place to ask for advice and tips, whinge and moan, check in for daily accountability, and run to when you have a craving that scares you. We also have quality chat about running, books, gardening, pets, and occasional meaningful conversations about our lives. Grin

As should be obvious from the above, the thread is a DRY ZONE. Discussion of current drinking is extremely unhelpful to anyone in the early days, and people who have been alcohol-free for a long time benefit from a safe, dry space to talk. If you are looking to stop imminently and need to ask questions, go ahead, but leave your glass at the door. You wouldn’t take a drink to an AA meeting, so don’t do it here. You are welcome to post regularly from Day 1 onwards. If you suspect you have a physical dependency and need to cut down, seek medical help. If you want to be alcohol free except for a glass at Christmas and on your birthday, that’s moderation and you can talk about it on a moderation thread.

This is a rather long OP already so might I suggest that people use their first post to recommend their favourite quit-lit or other sources of help and support? Don't forget to say hello and a little bit abut your journey (if you want to). Many thanks.

Brew Cake Flowers

OP posts:
Perriwinkles · 05/09/2021 18:18

@Lolichi

Wow good for you. Congratulations on getting to the 35 day point. It’s amazing you’ve lost weight too in a short period of time.

On paper, it feels like alcohol is of no benefit but I’m already thinking in my head, ‘maybe I could just drink at that wedding & then go back to not drinking.’ 🥴

Lolichi · 05/09/2021 18:26

@Perriwinkles thank you, I’m really chuffed as I’ve never even managed a dryJanuary!
I was drinking pretty much every day even if it was just one beer or glass of wine so piled on weight which is what I dropped when I gave up. I’m menopausal as well (or peri) and not drinking has lessened those symptoms so much - less anxious, less brain fog and much more even keeled mood wise.
I know I can’t moderate but also have those thoughts of “just one won’t hurt”. Someone else might be able to get away with that. But not me.

ChampooPapi · 05/09/2021 20:22

Night all

Perriwinkles · 05/09/2021 21:49

@Lolichi

I get you. I can’t believe I did the Alcohol Experiment for 30 days a few years ago & then went back on it with more frequency than ever. I don’t think I wanted sobriety then the way I do now.

Good night everyone. I’m having tea in bed. So many nights in the past it was a glass of wine on my locker! Brew

Newmum29 · 06/09/2021 06:17

Joining and starting on day 1. Have drank too much since I started as a teenager. Did my entire pregnancy alcohol free and very limited whilst breastfeeding but it’s been sneaking up on me so I’ve stopped again. Drinking alcohol in moderation just doesn’t work for me.

mynakedmind17 · 06/09/2021 06:53

Good luck and welcome @Newmum29 that's great!

Also joining in, on day 49. Had a realisation in July about how much of my life I was missing out on, drinking/hungover/thinking about drinking. My partner has been AF since last year, seeing his life improve has helped me a lot.

Had an event in a bar on Friday which I'd been worried about for a while - eventually people did notice that I was having the (much cheaper yay) AF cocktails. Everyone was actually lovely and supportive about it, and a few even shared how they had been feeling similarly and would like to do the same.

Feeling positive today - up early to go to the gym before work.

StarcourtMall · 06/09/2021 07:12

@Lolichi interesting that you say it’s helped with your peri symptoms. I think I am also struggling with peri symptoms (particularly anxiety) and I’m really hoping it will help. The Dr has started me on HRT too so hopefully by the end of this month I might remember what happiness and calmness feels like!
Have a great Monday everyone, the sun is shining here so it should be a lovely day!

Adm1010 · 06/09/2021 07:12

Morning all . Hope all ok

So I’ve woken up feeling fresher than for a long time but a long way from feeling healthy .
What I didn’t say yesterday was I strongly suspect ( know ) I have a fatty liver . The aching in the liver area yesterday was pretty noticeable . I’m in the last chance saloon for reversing this damage .

Abstinence is the only way .

Adm1010 · 06/09/2021 07:14

Oh and to the posters above … I’m peri so hoping to settle some of the symptoms as well

Drybird2020 · 06/09/2021 07:21

So happy to hear from you, @ColdWaterTherapy, I was thinking about you the other day and wondering how you are getting on. What a lot you have had to deal with, but it's wonderful to read that you have turned a corner and that being alcohol free is part of that. Well done. 👏

OP posts:
BunniesBunniesBunnies · 06/09/2021 07:43

@Adm1010, Welcome! You post sounds quite similar to me (before I quit). I am now almost 18 months sober and honestly my life (and health) has transformed. Keep going🙂

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 06/09/2021 07:44

… and welcome to @mynakedmind17 and other newbies. So lovely to see so many new people joining this thread🤩

AlloftheTime · 06/09/2021 09:25

Morning all
Lovely to hear from newbies and also those much further along the road. Today is 6 weeks for me and feeling quite good, sleeping better though still wake up too early! Lost a little weight and much less bloated. Need to work on overall diet but I am okay about that for now. Need to focused as I have a weekend of eating out coming up.

👍

Nosilayak · 06/09/2021 09:41

@Adm1010 hi, hope you don't mind me asking but what are your suspected fatty liver symptoms? I am having health problems at the moment and am waiting for results/further tests and I'm absolutely terrified I've done irreversable damage to my liver through years of heavy drinking. It's scared me so much that I've gone AF and am now on day 16. I do feel a lot better for being AF but just wish I'd done it years ago.

Kittenminion · 06/09/2021 13:21

Checking in... I’m now at 7 days, a whole week, yay! I’ve done this point and a bit further before, but this time I feel my attitude is very different.

I managed my weekend staying with friends fine, took some AF drinks with me and said I needed I was having a break from drinking as I needed to reset (I’m not intending on this just being a break just felt it was more acceptable to say that!). Everyone was chilled and we had a chat about alcohol and habits. Had a few wobbles looking at glasses of wine around me, but didn’t succumb! And of course it had zero effect on how much I enjoyed my weekend.

The thing I’m finding difficult is thinking of my whole life without drinking, I find that hard to imagine at the moment. I can imagine months and have started imagining my birthday and Christmas AF but not beyond. I have only just begun so probably I just need to focus on one day at a time and not worry about that at the moment?

I started The Sober Diaries this morning. A lot of it resonating with me.

I liked this from it: ‘alcohol is the only drug in the world where, when you stop taking it, you are the one considered to have the problem, a disease, while those still indulging are viewed as ‘normal ‘’

I am enjoying not having red eyes from drinking the night before, having more patience with my children and focusing on them and their needs more. I love the I am sober app - really something to see how much money and calories my drinking took up. Thankfully I remembered to cancel my gin subscription box. I have signed up to chocolate subscription box instead!

Happy Monday everyone!

Nosilayak · 06/09/2021 14:03

@kittenminion just wanted to say well done to you for getting through the weekend with friends and staying AF. You should be really proud of yourself. I, too, find it hard to envisage the rest of my life AF but I suppose, at this point, we should just take it a day at a time.

Adm1010 · 06/09/2021 15:50

@Nosilayak I have a dull ache in the right upper abdomen and a palpable liver . Are you waiting for a fibro scan ?

Adm1010 · 06/09/2021 15:51

Other symptoms which I don’t have can be nausea vomiting , fatigue , jaundice .

Nosilayak · 06/09/2021 16:01

@Adm1010 hi, yes and I've had various symptoms including terrible fatigue (although no jaundice). Aches and pains and lighter coloured stools (sorry if tmi). I've also had treatment for Hpylori and have damage/ulcer to the stomach lining possibly (I think) caused by alcohol. I really regret drinking so much over the years and would beg anyone who drinks too much to go AF. I never once stopped to think of what damage I was doing to my health and I'm determined never to drink again, I just hope it's not too late.

Perriwinkles · 06/09/2021 16:24

@Kittenminion
I can relate to how you say you can’t imagine a whole life without alcohol. That’s the part I struggle with too. I’m early days too (day 16) and right now it feels like a novelty but when the novelty wears off I hope I don’t find a life without booze too boring.

Perriwinkles · 06/09/2021 16:27

I’ve been having an awful day in work today. My boss but the head off me & I’m beating myself up ever since. I can almost taste the wine. This really shows me how I used alcohol to self-medicate. I seem to be using food now and am already planning my post-work treats. The main thing I suppose is just not drinking

I hope all of your sober Mondays are going a little better xxx

Perriwinkles · 06/09/2021 16:27

bit

Nosilayak · 06/09/2021 16:50

@Perriwinckles so sorry to hear you've had a bad day at work. In the past I've been in a similar situation with a horrendous boss and I, too, had a drink at night to unwind and forget, so I know where you are coming from. Look, we've both got to Day 16 which is fantastic, don't let your horrible boss be the cause of your downfall. Enjoy your treats tonight and don't be so hard on yourself. It's too early in our AF days to start depriving ourselves of nice food as well as alcohol. The main thing is that you don't drink, you can deal with the food situation a bit further down the line, when you are feeling stronger. You are doing so well and I'm rooting for you. I agree it's a bit of a novelty at the moment being AF and, like you, I also worry about boredom in the future but other people do it, there are people further on than us on here, so why shouldn't we be able to do it too? Stay strong x

Kittenminion · 06/09/2021 16:59

@Perriwinkles you can do this! Load yourself with whatever non-alcohol treats you want and ride it out. I also have a crappy boss and over the last year I have drunk so much on the days I have been upset and raging because of them. My automatic response was always the glass of wine too, it’s definitely a trigger!

I’m definitely snacking more, but I agree with @Nosilayak you can’t deprive yourself of too much at once, so much more likely to fail. I figure if I have the willpower to be AF I can deal with my diet later on when it’s easier not to drink.

Adm1010 · 06/09/2021 18:33

@Nosilayak yes I can relate to the hoping it’s not to late as well .

I’m home from work eating tea in my garden , sunny evenings are a trigger . Really who am I kidding though .. everything’s a trigger ! Good day , bad day , happy news , sad news , sunny day , rainy day … all excuses really … the truth is I

want alcohol … but I’m not going to .

And thanks again for the welcome . The thread feels safe