Mindfulness, Moderating and Not Texting In The Kitchen !

[Amdone123]

Morning all..hope you're all ok. Well I had busy weekend. I didn't quite stick to my plans : I drank Friday evening ( didn't eat), and drank last night, too. I don't feel great today but I am looking forward to having a break. I know I want to get back to being af and all its benefits.
I was thinking that I am able to stay in and not drink. My next step will be going out and not going mad !

Thanks so much @Amdone123 I'm pretty sure you are on holiday so sorry for interrupting! We have a holiday coming up too but we haven't even booked the hotel which is another thing we are fighting about I swear it's one thing after another. Kids are ok thankfully. One is at an activity and I am out of the house. This morning he just went on again via messaging which I then responded to too so it's a vicious circle. Calmer without drink tho obvs. Yes he was drinking too and tired and hangry. I am going to stop today even if it's just for today. But I can only do 1 day at a time. In the past once I've had a couple of days under my belt or a week I feel like them oh I can do this it's those first few days that are mind warping and wine witch saying it's ok...

No problem. If you can only do one day at a time, then that's fine. That's the way most people do it, I think. Day 1 today.
Its good you're putting some space between you. I've been there messaging / arguing back n forth. It's draining. But at least you're out of the house.
(I'm not away til mid October).
And I know, the wine witch is a betch xx

Sorry was also supposed to tag you@Hohofortherobbers and thank you for your support.

So we sort of reconciled but then he went back to being selfish and horrible I give up!

But I didn't give up not drinking, today there was temptation somewhere we went but I went for a non alcoholic drink was quite yummy!

Well, there's a positive - you didn't drink and it was probably quite tempting !

Thank you @Amdone123 ! How are you doing how's the weekend been for you? Well done for doing the 10 days btw that's pretty amazing

Hi there. Hope your day's getting better. I had 9 days af til Thursday when I decided to drink. I had to work Friday ! I was ok, it was only a couple of hours. I haven't drank this weekend ( 2 beers today which I don't count. Didn't even enjoy them). So, a good weekend. I probably won't drink now til I go away.

That's really good @Amdone123 honestly. Have you come far from what you were doing before? My problem is all or nothing I don't know how many times I've tried to moderate I always end up then over drinking. I'd have the one and be like oooo look at me I had one with dinner and then the spiral begins. I was thinking of trying just no wine for a while but I've done ok when the cravings started this evening just had apple.juice ! And then I started am activity I've been wanting to do for ages but wine took that away. Things are still tense with H but hey ho I'm not drinking (and he took a bottle out this afternoon and he drank beer at lunch) but yet he called me an alcoholic...

Also @Amdone123 if you are not drinking until holidays can we write on this board daily just to check in? I am off mid October too but I'm worried Bout the whole trip tbh. Before in summer we drank from midday pretty much with meals and without. I was thinking I would only have 1 in evenings there but it's a short trip so I'm hoping to not drink completely but I also have this thing of thinking too far into the future! Which then unnerves.me

Yes, @Soberoct , I think I have come a long way, but it's taken a long time. The most progress I've made is not the quantity ( at 1 point I was probably drinking about 5 bottles of wine a week), but the thought process I've adopted. I used to think I needed it to feel good or for my day/ week/ life, to have meaning. But I don't think like that anymore. Today, for example, dh out all day. Just me and the dog. Before I'd get wine just for the sake of it, but I stop now and think, do I really need it ? Will it improve my day? What will tomorrow look like ?
Hangovers and looking crap ( I'm really vain) put me off ( and feeling rubbish - I like being energetic).
Probably my biggest influence is my granddaughter ( she's 7 ) - we have such a laugh, building dens, playing, etc. And I really want to be around for her.

Of course, we can check in. We can check in when I'm away. It's no problem for me. I'll probably not be on my phone everyday, but I will every few days.
Try not to think about your trip for now. Thinking too far ahead is unnerving. I think it's best to just do today. Although, it's good to have a think about what you want your trip to look like - that's what I did for my last holiday. It worked.
I'm actually trying to think of a target for October. I'm thinking I'll try for 24 af days.

Morning, all. How are you feeling today @Soberoct ? At least it's a new day and you can put the weekend behind you.
I've got 10 days til I go away, so I'm thinking of doing my 10 day af stint again. I ate a lot of chocolate yesterday, probably because I wasn't drinking, and I feel bloated.
Need to get back exercising and drinking my water.

Hi @Amdone123 had a really horrible morning with H and son I think we need counselling but I'm not drinking I was tempted though

Well done for not drinking when times are tough @soberoct. I'm dry today after drinking moderately at the weekend. Wine witch was screaming at me earlier, but she's quietened down now.

@Soberoct , ahh, sorry to hear that. Well done for not drinking - it's a good choice because it wouldn't make the situation better. Probably make it worse, if anything. @Hohofortherobbers , well done for moderating. The wine witch hasn't been bothering me recently - I think she's given up. I often feel like drinking on a monday, especially after an af weekend, but today, no urge at all.

Well done to @Hohofortherobbers for batting away the (b)witch I've been too distracted because my H has made things worse for me at home with his behaviour so I have to deal with the fall out. It's draining and I am down and want to run away . I drove around aimlessly yesterday. there was a bottle of wine in my boot still is there

Morning, just checking in I used to count days and then I didn't (probably because of too many blips I couldn't even take whole days off lol) but I just can't believe how many women suffer from the same stuff as us. Like so many it seems! I didn't sleep at all last night didn't have the wine to comatose me! I was on a different group where some were absolutely amazing and helped so so much but there was a woman reaching out for help and she was really struggling but one old time member was like you can't be here if you aren't completely stopped but a lot on that group have blips too along the way so this poor woman said where else is there to go and then she never came back so I hope she's lurking around here somewhere and hi if you are! But thats why I'm grateful to you guys as you aren't judging and just been there in same position and helpful so thank you! Day 3 I guess if I'm counting...again!!!!!

Come and join us lady who has been turned away from the other thread!! You don't have to be bone dry here!!!

Well done @soberoct, day 3 already! I hope relations get better with your dh and ds today. I'm sure even though you didn't crash out when you did sleep it was better quality sleep for being AF.

Have you got her name? Can you tag her ?

@Soberoct , well done on Day 3. Just keep trying, that's all we can do. I've woken up with the bloody wine witch on my mind. Doesn't bode well. Especially as I'm planning on cooking a roast tonight and I like wine when I cook. Although I can drink sparkling water, too. We'll see.
The lady being turned away reminded me when I was on another group. The 'leader ' stated it was only really for people who were absolutely teetotal ( didn't really understand that, if you were teetotal, why would you need a group?!). Anyway, I joined up and noticed this guru hadn't really been posting. Turns out she'd 'relapsed' and been on a 3 day binge. I laughed so much at the time, which wasn't nice of me, but it was so ironic. Also, if it's anonymous how the feck would anyone know? I could come on here n lie n say I've been sober for 42 years, how would you know ?!!!
Just keep trying, folks. If you have a blip, so what - you're trying.

Hi @Amdone123 and @Hohofortherobbers good to hear from you guys. I am feeling knackered and the day isn't over! H isn't around at the moment but he's taken away DS devices so I'm bearing the brunt of that (and we can't find them!) It's easy for him to go away and I have to deal with the kids. Selfish. I don't remember her name but i think I also remember what you are saying when you were on that group @Amdone123 not nice when someone is trying right to be shafted out for even thinking about moderation and yeah we could all be lying lol but obviously we won't
I hear you about the roast and cooking sparking water sounds good tho and that fleeting moment may pass? I looked at the bottle of wine still in the boot of my car plus H has kindly placed wines around the kitchen don't know why just to piss me off? He will never get what we are going through ...it makes me re evaluate our rship when I'm sober.
Hope you all have a nice evening.i might have to check in a bit later if I'm upset/wine witch etc

Awh, check in all you need @Soberoct. Things will get better with your dh, I hope. What do you want to do?
I knew I'd drink today. When I'm off it, I'm flying, but for some reason once the seed is planted, it's hard. I've only had 2 glasses of red, so not anything major. Also, I've not smoked, I've eaten a full meal and I've not gone out for anymore. So, all in all, I've moderated. I'll take that.
I certainly couldn't have wine anywhere in the house or in my car, I'd drink it, so well done for not. That's amazing to me. If it's in my vicinity, I'm probably going to drink it.

I completely empathise with the words once the seed is planted @Amdone123 . The seed used to plant quite heavily from the moment I woke up to when I could take the drink. Ridiculous but it's true! Well done for not smoking and moderating tonight ! You have done well. I on the other hand haven't smoked for years and I go and buy a pack today and had 2. Made me feel sick! But whatever I must do at the moment to not drink I feel. Even bought some CBD oil other day. So I'm trying anyway lol we can but try! The reason I can look at the bottle and not drink it is my mind set at the moment after all the fighting and my kids seeing it so that's my mental thing of nope not doing it but usually if theres something in the house I will drink it. I drank a whole bottle of DH nice wine the other day very expensive did I care no it's any old wine to me whereas he likes the taste blah blah I just can't imagine forrever right now but everytime I start drinking again I don't stop and the circle begins. I have said so many times to my kids I don't drink anymore and then I do and they say oh I thought you weren't etc so stopped saying it.

@soberoct many congrats for staying AF with wine the kitchen, that shows amazing resolve and I applaud you. Can I beg you to chuck the cigarettes and not start smoking again, you must know how hard it is to stop once you've started. Please don't do it. Xxx