Mindfulness, Moderating and Not Texting In The Kitchen !

[Amdone123]

Morning all..hope you're all ok. Well I had busy weekend. I didn't quite stick to my plans : I drank Friday evening ( didn't eat), and drank last night, too. I don't feel great today but I am looking forward to having a break. I know I want to get back to being af and all its benefits.
I was thinking that I am able to stay in and not drink. My next step will be going out and not going mad !

Hey everyone! Apologies for my absence. My dh went on holiday , took my charger. I got a new one but it seemed faulty. Anyway long story short, I had a quiet week - no phone, no dh, no work and no alcohol !! Really pleased with self. Just got weighed, lost a pound- better than nothing !
Will post more later, but really hope you're all doing OK!

First alcoholic drink for a long time today.

Hope everyone is ok. I moderated by telling DH to only buy one bottle for both of us

@ANewToday, well done. That's really good. I drank 2 bottles yesterday and smoked but I knew I was going to. Don't feel too bad today but I won't drink now til Saturday. I have at least knocked it on the head through the week !!

Morning all ! Hope you're all doing OK. My phone was resurrected Sunday but died later that night. Needed fixing so only just got it back.
Well I seen to have got myself into a routine of just drinking on a Saturday. It's working quite well for me. I am tempted sometimes through the week (to varying degrees), but I've managed not to ; the thought of hangover and the general feeling putting me off. I've got 2 days now on my own and am looking forward to resting and not drinking. Saturday we're going away for the weekend so will drink then.
October is looking OK for me. If I just stick to Saturdays I'll have had about 26 af days out of 31 which is massive for me.
@confusedaf29**@DirtyDancing @Buntyforgirls @AJL1234 @Hohofortherobbers @confusedaf29 @Killthewinewitchnow @Gemzee @Mj20.......how are we all doing?

Hi, I have not been AF unfortunately. Have only managed 4 days in Oct so far. Dh has been made redundant, which I have used as an excuse to drink. But I will be AF tonight, early night needed. Got to up my AF day count, could still get to 9-10 if I dig in for the week days now

Full disclosure..I've not been moderating!

I have been having 3 AF days a week but I'm back to wine (4 bottles a week) plus the odd Gin/Cider here & there.

I use the excuse that its because we are buying our first house (I'm 38! We've rented for 12 years) and it can be stressful - that is just an excuse though!

Glad you are all doing well! x

Morning all ! @Hohofortherobbers, sorry to hear about the redundancy. I don't ( and would never!) blame you for drinking. Sometimes we need that crutch and that's just the way it is. We could be doing worse ! Just keep trying. That's all you can do. I hope things get better for you. @ Gemzee, congratulations on buying your first house ! That's some achievement nowadays. It's hard to not drink when we're stressed. It's all very well saying have a bath or go for a walk - Sometimes having a drink is the only thing we want. And after bereavement, buying a house is the second most stressful thing. Again, just keep trying.

I've been ok. As mentioned in previous posts I seem to be only drinking on a Saturday. It doesn't occur to me anymore to drink through the week. The penny dropped finally. It's a different week this week with half term and I'm entertaining friends and their grandchildren for at least 3 days. I know normal people don't think to drink when looking after children but we do in my house. Not lots but enough to ensure the adults are entertained too. I'll cook too so we'll all sit down to a meal etc. Anyway I was thinking that I'll try not to. If I don't buy it I can't drink it.
Keep trying folks ! And if you have one or 2, it's not the end of the world.

Thanks @amdone123. Sounds like you have the moderating well in hand. It's Monday and I'm going to try and get 4 AF days added to my Oct count, so dry now til Friday. Have good weeks all if you

I ended up having 4 AF days last week but only because I was hungover yesterday! We went out for my mums birthday on Sat night & had a really good time! Not so fun on Sunday though! I mixed my drinks & had a lot of wine. Oh well, I enjoyed the evening & it is a positive I couldn't drink yesterday

Morning all ! How are we all doing?
I've had a great October overall. If I have my usual drinks tomorrow with my dsis then I've had 26 af days out of 31, which is good for me! I've lost about 8lbs ( over 6 weeks), I've slept better ( I still find I'm awake at 3am but at least it's not hangover related), I've actually felt happier, had more energy but the best thing is my skin. I've never had bad skin but it's gone so much clearer. To celebrate I've had my hair cut extra short and I love it, as my face is slimmer too. Go me !
I'm looking forward to November, feeling really positive.

Amdone123 that is so positive and really well done on the weight loss and AF days.

@ANewToday, thanks x

Hello All! MIA as away on hols for half term, involving alcohol and pathetic attempts to moderate at an all inclusive hotel.
What a glorious feeling to drink wine poolside, but.... sleep was rubbish, and feelings of guilt for enjoying was ridiculous!
Back now and on day 3. Sleep already better.
Planning for dry NOvember, but finding it better to take 1 day at a time.

@Amdone123 you are a flipping star! Go you! X

@Buntyforgirls, awh thanks, that made me grin like the cat that got the cream!
Well done on day 3. I think it's hard when you come home from holidays. You'd think you'd had enough but I know from past experience that I've had times when I've carried on, trying to prolong the holiday mood. Try to work on the guilt feeling because I can honestly say I no longer experience guilt. This has been a recent development. I don't know if it was the hypnotherapy ( she was adamant I drop the negative terminology), but it's such a relief to not feel guilt.
Yeah one day at a time in November. I'm going to have some af weekends.I'll need to if I want to best October. I'll know when I'm in the right frame of mind to tackle one. I actually find af weekends really rewarding.
Have a great day. It's blowing a gale here and I'm going for a 2 hour hike with my dsis. I'll soon be sitting by a pool 😎

Hi guys.
How are you all?
Hope it's OK to ask, but did the menopause or being perimenopausal affect your alcohol tolerance?
I've a few perimenopausal symptoms & I've found my tolerance is lower. Just wondering if anyone else found the same x

Hi everyone, how are we all doing? Last few weeks have been a mixed bag for me. I am going to visit a friend in London on November 11 and am going to try and go AF until then.

@CH79 sorry I don't have any advice, but found this online:

The menopause seems to coincide with a decrease in tolerance to alcohol. One of the reasons for this is because as we age our cartilage and tendons lose water, with the result that our bodies are less able to hold water. The more water in your body, the better your body can dilute alcohol. mpoweredwomen.net/wellbeing/alcohol-and-menopause/

@Buntyforgirls I don't blame you, no way would I be able to stay sober at an all inclusive.

@youboozeyoulose

Hi everyone, how are we all doing? Last few weeks have been a mixed bag for me. I am going to visit a friend in London on November 11 and am going to try and go AF until then.

@CH79 sorry I don't have any advice, but found this online:

The menopause seems to coincide with a decrease in tolerance to alcohol. One of the reasons for this is because as we age our cartilage and tendons lose water, with the result that our bodies are less able to hold water. The more water in your body, the better your body can dilute alcohol. mpoweredwomen.net/wellbeing/alcohol-and-menopause/

@Buntyforgirls I don't blame you, no way would I be able to stay sober at an all inclusive.

Thanks! I've found I definitely can't drink like I used too. Hey ho!
Alcohol free now for a few weeks too, so good luck! X

Hello everyone - room for one more?
[Warning: this might be long and will contain descriptions of alcoholic behaviour just in case you find that upsetting!]

My excessive drinking has been playing on my mind for a while now. It all started when I fell into a less than ideal living situation where I ended up geographically isolated.

Until that point (I was 30) my relationship with alcohol had been okay. I grew up in a family of middle class high functioning alcoholics. I turned into someone who would ALWAYS have "a last one for the road", who was always up for a session at the pub, but I have never drank to huge excess. I've never been at vomiting in public, memory blanks, blind drunk stage. I never had alcohol at home, to me it was always a social thing I engaged in regularly.

When I ended up geographically isolated, I started having alcohol at home. It started with a glass or two of wine with DP before and during dinner. Then as I started feeling lonelier and more anxious and stressed in my life, I started using it the way my mum did: as a way or subduing my stress and especially of stifling boredom.

I have had four years of this now. I still dont get blind drunk but my alcohol intake is constantly level. I would say I drink about 4 or 5 bottles of wine a week.

On top of that, I started having alcohol when out and about on my own, where the pre-30 me would have had a coffee. Stopping off for a beer just to steady my nerves. On top of THAT I started concealing my intake from DP which I guess is a massive warning sign. For example, one evening to my horror, I realised I had no wine, so I drank a small plastic.bottle of white cooking wine. Then put it at the bottom of the recycling 😔
One day we were due to go out and I think it was about 11am. I heard him get in the shower, and I quickly had a small glass of wine and washed up the glass before he got out. It feels awful saying it. I don't even know why I needed it.

Today DP went to pour himself a glass of wine (he drinks a glass a night) and all the bottles were gone 😫

I don't want to go teetotal, I want to get back to my old relationship with alcohol. So I have set some rules for myself:

• No alcohol at home
• No alcohol alone

Basically I am only allowing myself to drink when out with others. I dont overdrink in a social setting so I'm happy to not moderate at all when out.

It's hard, I can already feel myself getting twitchy at the prospect of not having a glass tonight. I'm going to try replacing with valerian tea and am looking into CBD too.

Good luck tonight! Hope you are doing well with step 1x

@Buntyforgirls
It was nice seeing your post before I went to bed last night - a good reaffirmation!

I managed to hold off yesterday without too much difficulty. I felt really healthy and "together" having cups of tea instead of wine. However this morning I feel like I've been hit by a bus! Pounding headache and just an otherworldly out of it feeling

Tonight will be hard - its Friday and my DP is working until 11pm. I don't fancy going out so I will need to somehow spend the evening chilling at.home without a few glasses of wine

@Yayaga, hi there and welcome! You'll get lots of help here - keep posting. We'll help. Regarding this evening, preparation is key I think. Planning of things to do that don't involve wine. I often have alcohol free weekends. I have a nice bath ( I think I was a mermaid in a previous life), do some self care , read , even clean out cupboards. I also buy af drinks and snacks. I enjoy cooking but found it hard to do without drinking so I'd order a nice takeaway instead. Sometimes it's bearable other times I'm twitching and I do go out n buy it. It depends on my mood. Let us know your plans, what you'd like tonight to look like. I don't have wine in BTW. I'd drink it.
Hey everyone else! How are we? Im plodding on. Felt a bit stressed Wednesday so packed a bag and my dog and I've come to a hotel by the seaside. It's been lovely. We've walked, rested, had some lovely meals. I've drank but I'm ready to go home now with a clear head and a bit less stressed. I've counted my blessings being away and know how lucky I am with everything I have. I've had 8 af days in November so far. Going to try the next 2 weeks af. I'll check in. Day 1 today !

@Amdone123

I read your October update and it's so encouraging to read about the many benefits you experienced! It's really nice to hear about your seaside trip too, how great that you just decide to do something nice for yourself like that.

I read your last post yesterday afternoon and got my evening sorted. A bath as you suggested, and then I watched six episodes of Married at first sight Australia (🙈). Had a cup of valerian tea but will definitely need to find myself a new delicious drink to have.

Besides a vague itch, I didnt really have to fight against myself, so it's been a full 48 hours now! On Monday evening I'm seeing a friend for drinks and then dinner out which I'm really looking forward to.

Last night when DP came home it was interesting to note a difference in how I was being, stone cold sober. Just more alert and upbeat.

Have a relaxing weekend all x

@Yayaga, well done. You can do this ! ( I realise I say this a lot but I think having the confidence to know you can do it is key. I equate it to learning a new skill).
Thanks for your lovely feedback on my posts. I never really thought that they may affect someone positively - I tend to write them as it helps me so much to share my feelings. No one ever judges for example. Friends and family irl don't mean to but I think some get tired/ bored of hearing it.
Have a great day.
P s - there's a great thread on here about af drinks. Some absolutely brilliant alternatives.

@Amdone123
Oh absolutely, it was very uplifting to hear how happy you felt about your skin - it must have been such a warm feeling to realise one day looking in the mirror "I look so much better". My own skin isn't great but the main change I'm excited to see is my waistline! I namechanged and made a thread about it the other day, but I'm very slim with a bloody belly on me, and it's clearly the drink (although my penchant for crisps and cheese probably doesnt help either 😉)

It's funny but through these posts about alcohol, we are offering up little snippets of our everyday lives/feelings and it's quite comforting to read.

Will look up the AF drinks thread now, I have a few good ones to add! X

Big cheer @Yayaga- you must feel so proud!
@Amdone123 is always so supportive and warm- so encouraging.

I managed fri night out with friends without bingeing- I was getting worried, but so didn’t want to give up the friendship, support and fun.
Gave myself an extremely stern talking to and a good shake, and managed to be home by 6 and only 2 big glasses consumed, although that was enough, to be fair!

Nice to be hangover free today, relieved at showing some self control.
Fridays are my Achilles heel, so if I can work out how to deal with those I will be a 14 unit or less drinker- yay!

Bit rambling- sorry. AF today. Happy weekend to all x