The Freedom Thread; for those embracing a life without alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Welcome to the 7th thread in this series, which has helped me and many others find the way to a life free of and free from alcohol.

Anyone is welcome! Newbies, you will find emotional support, tips for handling cravings, strategies for handling social occasions and plenty of first-hand experiences to mirror your own. An alcohol problem makes you feel lonely and isolated, but you are not alone.

Please be aware that this is an abstinence thread – it can be difficult and triggering in the early stages to be around alcohol related chat (however, it might help to know that one of the gifts of long-term sobriety is not being at all bothered by people drinking or talking about drinking in your presence!) So, if you feel that moderation is for you, or if you feel you need to cut down before stopping, there are other threads in Alcohol Support that can help, or you can start one for the specific support you need.

Oldies, come and share milestones, enjoy the chat, and pay forward the kindness and non-judgemental support we have all benefitted from. And when you have the time, do yourselves a favour by finding where you started and reading through all your posts, it will show you how far you have come and what you have achieved! (I'll add links to previous threads in my next post).

Hi all
Hectic weekend but not a drop was drunk!!
Feeling positive

Hi everyone just checking this thread in the early hours. Been up with my DH and can’t get back to sleep 🙄 Don’t be hard on yourself @Winenota Rome wasn’t built in a day. The fact you’re bothered you slipped up is the main thing and you can change this. I know how massively worth it this is going to be for everyone. Re your friend - I know it’s so hard to set boundaries but I do remember a similar friend really messing with my MH and calling me non stop. I’m not saying don’t answer (you don’t have to obviously if you don’t want to) but maybe next time you could be quietly aware she is a trigger and say ‘I’ve just got ten minutes to lend an ear as I have to do X’ or ‘see to child X etc’ then you know when the conversation will end and you’re not just cutting her off. Very hard in practice I know. Thinking of you..

Been struggling a little with the emotions that seem to come flooding after going AF. I’m on day 16 and have been reading that an array of different emotions are normal. The days up to 10 were like the nice detox part where I felt fresher, was taking in more of my surroundings and smiling happily, laughing genuinely with the kids etc. Reading online, it suggests emotions such as anger, sadness, mood swings are common after this period. Has anyone found this? I’ve definitely been very snippy with my kids (it’s the holidays too I guess) and also felt really annoyed at some of the events of the last few years (issues with people, work, house and other stressy life things and also how this has affected us and the kids (it’s been a hard year for many many people I know) But last night I just felt an overwhelming sense on sadness and regret and it’s with me now. Spoke to my DH about an issue and he was quite harsh in his response. This did not help lol. I suppose it’s just about keeping strong and seeing this through. Before going AF I would just mask these feelings in the eve with a tipple. Now I suppose I have to face them which is a normal part of the process.. arggg it’s flipping hard!

Keep going all of those trooping away on here - am so impressed with the efforts. X

*Morning everyone, sorry meant I’d been up with my DD in the early hours (just getting used to the acronyms on MN lol!

@Clouds78 sorry a quick response but I'm off on the train in a min. Just came on to say yes ! I am on day 17 and have been feeling exactly the same as you described!

@ChampooPapi I’m sorry you are too - ah its awful 😬 isn’t it. Hope the train journey was ok and your day is getting better. It helps to know I’m not alone! Today feels a bit grim but I keep saying to myself it will pass. Hope everyone’s ok today.

@Clouds78 reading your post and sending you a hug and some strength to get through these days. I’m at the two week mark and have had some sadness but also a few feelings of regret about my decision making. I too think a drink smothered the emotions and difficult days so it stands to reason they may now emerge. Be kind to yourself and to @ChampooPapi hope your day has been okay and well done on keeping going. @Breathmiller is an inspiration and I have enjoyed hearing about your journey. I’m still taking each and every day as a new opportunity to succeed.

Thank you so much @AlloftheTime two weeks is amazing, well done! I’m hoping these feelings start to get easier and theres more light at the end of the tunnel. Really want to succeed too 🙏

@Clouds78 here’s to light then!
Quick question - I have been taking a high strength vitamin B supplement ( supermarket brand) and wondered if anyone had any recommendations as I need to get some more. Also struggling with disturbed and sleepless nights any suggestions about a good app with meditations and sleep aids?
I am now starting my third week and want to succeed at this. Not sure how it works but posting here definitely helps and makes me feel part of something bigger than myself.

Hope everyone’s getting along ok….

@AlloftheTime I used to use Biocare multivitamins and minerals (nutritionalist advice years ago) but now take solgar female multivitamin. They are a bit more expensive but am trying hard to take them (3 vits a day) plus their omega 3,6,9 but with less spent on alcohol then hopefully it’s worth it. Do they work? Who knows, but you can tell there’s a lot of B vits in them when you pee (sorry lol!). Not sure on the meditation apps but do like Paul McKenna’s hypnosis downloads on audiobooks. Week three is amazing - a huge pat on the back is in order - treat yourself to some nice things.

That’s exactly how I feel about being able to come on here too. Very grateful. I think the thing you said about something bigger than ourselves is spot on. Like it’s making me see the bigger picture and not having the fuzz makes us more in tune with our surroundings/the universe. Not sure if that sounded weird but I know what I mean

@allofthetime I take WellWoman Plus (or something like that) Purple box, a triple supplement with 3 tablets a day. Again, a nutritionist said these were a pretty solid supplement and they’re easily available from chemists and supermarkets. Tesco and boots often have 3 for the price of 2 so I usually get three packs a time as they aren’t particularly cheap.

Hi @AlloftheTime I got on with the Relax+ Andrew Johnson meditation app, relaxing and almost hypnotic which really helps me get to sleep, might work for you too. I actually also have an app called (I think) Rain which does a variety of various rain tracks that I find really useful (when it’s not torrential rain here!)

Hey - sorry to crash the thread but I need a bit of help here.

Someone close to me finally admitted that they have a problem today. She’s hit rock bottom today and had a bit of a wake up call. Of course tomorrow might be a different story, but she said the actual words today - out loud for the first time, so that’s a good sign, right?

I’m at a bit of a loss what to advise - I know of the AA but not sure if sounds like her ‘kind of thing’. She needs support and something structured around her, but I’m not sure where to start.

@KittenKong has she contacted her GP in the first instance as depending how much she’s been drinking going cold Turkey can be dangerous. There’s lots of ideas on the very first post on this thread as a starting point.

She has been signed off work for two weeks. She’s also on some heavy duty anti depressants.

@KittenKong
Agh my mistake! I thought there was a list of various quit literature plus ‘SMART Recovery’ online plus the free ‘Alcohol Experiment’ with Annie Grace. Allen Carr is still one if the best quit experts, whether it’s smoking or alcohol. It depends if she want to read stuff, listen (audible or podcasts), needs support AA or SMART Recovery, or a mix of both with ‘Alcohol Experiment’. Hopefully get GP can guide her too. She may need to cut down before total abstinence. Once she’s abstaining or in that mindset she could certainly seek support here. Reading these threads may help too.

Thank you for the advice - used the Andrew Johnson app which helped me get to sleep - will research the vits when I get in from work

Thanks again and have a good day everyone - be kind to yourselves

Thank you @AlloftheTime and @Clouds78 for your thoughts, still on the wagon here, feeling strong and positive for the forseeable 🤞 another weekend ahead but a wet one, and I just bumped into a friend who's camping with some others I know, will be a almighty knees up, and I was not jealous one bit.

Wetness, tents and shame... No thanks

Checking in on this Thursday, looking forward to an early night and a productive next few days

Also still feeling irritable, I do think the 5am starts are not helping but I'm going to try extra extra hard not to be moody. I'm fine with the children, it's their father I keep finding very annoying!

@ChampooPapi

Also still feeling irritable, I do think the 5am starts are not helping but I'm going to try extra extra hard not to be moody. I'm fine with the children, it's their father I keep finding very annoying!

Sending you hugs! I’m sorry but it made me smile a little - hope he gets less annoying overcthe weekend.

Hi all, i have stayed sober but am struggling today. Not sure why tbh. I thunk its because i am back to work monday and i never drink during the working week so thats a no go, and i was supposed to be celebrating this weekend but a change of plans means thats not happening (i had no plans to drink), and i know i cant drink this weekend as driving, so for some reason its in my head today is my last chance. Stupid i know but its been pretty all consuming today, i cant focus so am just sitting it out.

The shop closes in a couple of hours so just need to keep busy till then

@Soberanne

The shop closes in a couple of hours so just need to keep busy till then

@Soberanne Sounds like you have hit a little bump in the road - could be any number of reasons or likely to be a combination of several. Good thinking to stay home and ride it our. What works for you? A long bath, favourite music, housework? Try some distraction or a comfort activity. Alternatively if you have the option how about siting and riding it out? I have been having some intense emotions play out which I put down to actually allowing myself to feel properly. Be kind to yourself

Hey @Soberanne I’m going out tonight and while my resolution not to drink was strong as the time gets closer I can feel resolve weakening so I sympathise. But I’m playing it forward as to how upset and rotten I’ll feel if I do, and also know that once this moment is past I’ll feel good. Do whatever you need to do to distract - I might eat a massive bowl of pasta so I’m too full to think about booze! Hang on in there with me? It’ll be worth it

Checking in to say hi on Day 12. Sending strength and resolve to all those who are struggling. Hunger is a massive trigger for me so @Persephoned's plan to have a lot of pasta pre going out sounds good to me.

Just wishing you all a positive and productive day. It’s two and a half weeks and I feel better in the mornings though still working on the disrupted sleep pattern with the help of an app. I have more energy at work and a clear head helps me with processing the changes in my life. This seems such a good place to share thoughts and the ups and downs of this journey.

Be kind to yourselves