The Freedom Thread; for those embracing a life without alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Welcome to the 7th thread in this series, which has helped me and many others find the way to a life free of and free from alcohol.

Anyone is welcome! Newbies, you will find emotional support, tips for handling cravings, strategies for handling social occasions and plenty of first-hand experiences to mirror your own. An alcohol problem makes you feel lonely and isolated, but you are not alone.

Please be aware that this is an abstinence thread – it can be difficult and triggering in the early stages to be around alcohol related chat (however, it might help to know that one of the gifts of long-term sobriety is not being at all bothered by people drinking or talking about drinking in your presence!) So, if you feel that moderation is for you, or if you feel you need to cut down before stopping, there are other threads in Alcohol Support that can help, or you can start one for the specific support you need.

Oldies, come and share milestones, enjoy the chat, and pay forward the kindness and non-judgemental support we have all benefitted from. And when you have the time, do yourselves a favour by finding where you started and reading through all your posts, it will show you how far you have come and what you have achieved! (I'll add links to previous threads in my next post).

Hello everyone
I've been reading over and as always lots of great advice and interesting thoughts.

Just popping in on a busy weekend (returning teenager from big week long residential, youngest in a lead part in a play, and birthdays - my adult daughters) to say that as well as celebrating her birthday today with all my wonderful crew, I am celebrating my year sober milestone!! 🥳😇🌈🥰 . A year!!

I am so happy not only that I made this decision a year ago but that I found you all. It really is the most supportive wonderful thread and I massively thank everyon. From those I know well to those that have posted once then disappeared. It has been a massive help. THANK YOU.

I feel better than I have felt in a long time. I turned 50 at the beginning of it last year and I dread to think how different I would feel as I head up to 51 if I hadn't stopped.

I decided to celebrate by tackling another area of my life, food and healthy eating since, quite frankly I feel a bit invincible. If I can stop drinking after decades of struggling with my alcohol consumption then I feel I can do anything. So, i have had an amazing week eating my 10 a day. Life feels very positive.

Don't get me wrong, shit still happens and let's be honest there's been a whole heap of shit in the last year, collectively of course but quite a lot of personal crap happening in our lives (as happens). But, I didn't have the extra crap that drinking brings to add to it all. And I dealt with it all without resorting to alcohol as a false coping mechanism. It has lied to me my whole life. It is not a coping mechanism at all! It's the opposite. And I am free from it.

So, here I am, at a year sober, feeling great, I can easily say "i don't drink" or "I'm not a drinker"
My son used to think that 50 was "half way" as we have someong living genes in my family. So I look forward to exploring life in the next 50 years through a different lens. A less foggy one.

Keep going, everyone, it really is so worth it.

Congratulations @Breathmiller , what a fabulous post to read on a Sunday morning 🙂

Agreed!

Oh Congratulations @Breathmiller! Your post has put a spring in my step and brought a tear to my eye!

Thank you so much @StayingVigilant - I've signed up to the alcohol experiment (which I'd heard of but never have done for some reason!) and will def check out SMART too. I also discovered soberistas yesterday, which looks good for online support.

Thank you for your kind words @Allhallowseve and great name. It feels like autumn here already after yesterday's torrential rain. I'm sitting in bed drinking tea and reading sober thoughts online when I really should be off for a run. I normally love running early but I still feel sluggish and grim, I might wait for it to start raining again so I can splash gloriously through the puddles and there'll be fewer people around to see my wine belly.

Woohoo 🎉 Breathmiller bloody well done you!!! Enjoy your busy weekend x

Congratulations breathmiller! I knew you were coming up to a year just a little behind me (400 days today for me). Well done!
Your life sounds like it has got too busy to fit alcohol in too! Funny how things change when you stop isn't it.
Totally agree with why would you add alcohol into the mix to cope with anything bad happening- I look back on my DH illness at Xmas time, and ongoing recovery now, the thought of if I'd had alcohol in with that 'to cope' gives me the chills. I wouldn't have been able to think clearly and support him and the dc properly, and, dare I say it, unselfishly.
Well done too on a month FieldGuide, and you too on a week winenota It's only onwards and upwards now.
Keep on going everyone.

One year sober Breathmiller you are AMAZING!

@Breathmiller CONGRATULATIONS!!! You've done brilliantly for yourself and at the sake time, been a massive support to everyone on here, I often nod along while I read your posts. 🍎🍅🫒🥑🍉🍒🍓🥝🥕🌽< celebratory 10 a day for you.

@HangingOver mostly cats for me although I also have a selection of hens and reptiles.

*same

I'll never master the keyboard on this phone.

ALL NEWBIES - remember to take some B vitamins !!

Breathmiller that's an amazing achievement,well done.

I nearly caved over the weekend.I was dreaming of red wine.
But I resisted and ate loads of crap instead.
My blood sugars will thank me I'm sure.
But lesser of 2evils

Oh wow - such positivity on here today. Just snatched a moment to myself to catch up with the thread. @Breathmiller massive congratulations - you’ve worked so hard and sounds like you’re reaping the rewards. Very inspiring to read what you put. Thinking about everyone and loads of respect for all the willpower. We can do this.

Was also up early with one of mine so took the opportunity to put the tv on and read Alan carr in the background. Thanks for all the other brilliant suggestions on here for blogs etc. I think it’s finally working and this time for some odd reason I’m not craving and am staying strong. Not drinking and that’s that!

I have completed the online training for smart recovery, and am going to join the online meeting.

Sorry posted too soon. Has anyone else used it and is it worth buying the workbook.

Congratulations breathmiller! Perhaps your 10 a day should include a celebratory carrot cake

@CardiganOfDoom

Congratulations breathmiller! Perhaps your 10 a day should include a celebratory carrot cake

Haha - it did! i didn't count it in my 10 a day though.

Thank you everyone. It really means a lot.

Well done all that managed to get through another weekend, I know they can be hard at the beginning. Keep going though, it really is worth it.

Fell off wagon listening to friend going on about her bf.so cross with myself. When will I learn to say ,‘I’ve got to go’ and stop being so nice.🙁

@Winenota
Drink some water and get some sleep for now.

Agh @Winenota what a pain. Never mind though. Today is a new day so let’s start afresh. Maybe have a think about the ‘why’ again as this is a new trigger from the usual cooking tea one. You don’t have to say on here but think why you needed alcohol to support a friend. You obviously don’t. You absolutely could have supported her sober. Probably better actually. But what made you think otherwise? Don’t beat yourself up! Just consider how alcohol is lying to you. Hope it wasn't too much & you’re hangover free and ready to grasp day one today. You can absolutely do this. It’s a blip. Keep going!

Day 9 for me today, Friday night was a bit tough. I'm always knocked a bit sideways by the evening cravings. For the best part of 24 hours I'm totally happy with the decision not to drink and then come evening I'll suddenly have a very powerful: 'why am I doing this one glass won't hurt' moment. Very happy to have had a sober weekend.

@Winenota sorry about your blip, I do know how disheartening that can be but as @StayingVigilant says, today is a new day. You can do this.

Wishing everyone a happy AF week

@wineota dont be hard on yourself, it happens and like other posters have said really thunk about the why. What triggered you and what could you have done to change your though process. I did smart recovery which really helps with how to change your thought process. And a
So dont go back in your head to day one as that is soul destroying, just count your sober days and i bet you have had more sober days this month than last. Be kind to yourself.

Well done @deathbyprocrastination those thoughts that one won’t hurt are tricky but they do get less and less. I’m 8 months sober and although it rarely happens it does raise its ugly head every now and then. But the more we tell it to ‘F off’ the better we get!
Sorry I can’t help there @soberanne as I’ve not used SMART recovery But if the workbook isn’t too expensive maybe give it a go. Is there anyone to ask in the group/online? Hopefully someone on here will be along shortly who may know. My DD is doing DBT (a bit like CBT) for her MH and has a very very thick workbook. She’s said it’s invaluable. I think the crux maybe how you use it. Is it something that you’ll adhere to? That kind of thing is usually quite good in helping us to be more reflective and altering our mindset.
Happy Monday everyone!

Happy sober Monday everyone, checking in 🙌

Gosh thanks everyone for being so supportive. Was being hard on myself, but you make it seem easier.
It was because she called just as we were about to eat, I felt guilty because I avoided her last call - she talks for hours about herself.
I also link her to when I was ill, and another Frind has just died of the same illness, so maybe I’m a bit freaked out.
And Dh had left a bottle of open posh splosh and a glass right next to me…
I need to realise what I want to do ( eat dinner with family) not what other people want me to do ( listen for hours).
Bum! I was really enjoying beginning to sleep and get energy. Now I’m all anxious and tired and Ill …Don’t slip up guys! So , so not worth it.
Thanks, soberanne, it’s a good idea I will not start at day 1, just be very happy it’s more than last month😀
And well done death by procrastinating!
And well done all.
Ugh, I feel AWFUL!!!!!!

Don’t slip up guys! So , so not worth it

No truer words spoken 🙏

hangingover sorry to hear your bunny isn't well. I don't get this idea that we are allowed to get attached to some form of pet much more than others. I lost my 15 year old cat last year and sometimes my heart still aches for him. I have had many cats but this one stole my heart. We just seemed so attached. But a friend of mine couldn't understand the pain because he wasn't a dog! I hope your rabbit is better. 💜

winenota don't dwell on berating yourself about last night. Dust it off and pick up where you left off. You are doing so well.

Last night has a few lessons in it... reminding you why you have decided to choose differently and a lesson in another trigger to be vigilant about. It will all make it easier to avoid that same trigger next time.

I may be at a year but if I count over the last 4 years (another stint of 18 months and some dry Januarys and Februarys) I have been sober for much more than the last 4 years than I have drank.

When I did my 18 months I had a drink on Christmas day in the middle of it which I planned. I still class it as 18 months though.

I needed these blips and then my total fall from grace in the first lockdown to really show me that I didn't want to moderate and it strengthened my resolve.
So when I started this time again a year ago and joined this thread it was with a few experience under my belt.

They have all been useful lessons in letting me let go of drinking.

This thread, all the support, the days I have not drank in the last 4 years but also the days when I have. They have all helped me to get to this place, where I am happy not to drink and happy with my decision.

So last night was a learning curve. Nod at it. Thank it for what it taught you and settle back in.