The Freedom Thread; for those embracing a life without alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Welcome to the 7th thread in this series, which has helped me and many others find the way to a life free of and free from alcohol.

Anyone is welcome! Newbies, you will find emotional support, tips for handling cravings, strategies for handling social occasions and plenty of first-hand experiences to mirror your own. An alcohol problem makes you feel lonely and isolated, but you are not alone.

Please be aware that this is an abstinence thread – it can be difficult and triggering in the early stages to be around alcohol related chat (however, it might help to know that one of the gifts of long-term sobriety is not being at all bothered by people drinking or talking about drinking in your presence!) So, if you feel that moderation is for you, or if you feel you need to cut down before stopping, there are other threads in Alcohol Support that can help, or you can start one for the specific support you need.

Oldies, come and share milestones, enjoy the chat, and pay forward the kindness and non-judgemental support we have all benefitted from. And when you have the time, do yourselves a favour by finding where you started and reading through all your posts, it will show you how far you have come and what you have achieved! (I'll add links to previous threads in my next post).

borderline yes, it can be a tricky time. I have had the same thoughts as you.

But, now it's time to take it a bit further. Time to explore sobriety on a deeper level. It's hard but worthwhile work.

I do find it good to replay the video of what made me make this decision. At times, I've even reminded myself of the worst times, times I have tried to push out of my mind. But, I do feel it gets easier to face them as time goes on. Maybe because I can look back and not feel shame or regret, but an acceptance that well I did do that and it's not great but I am actively taking steps for it never to happen again. Every day that I don't drink I distance myself from that person that I was, or these behaviours I acted out.

It feels a bit like swimming that I've been enjoying. I used to feel so self conscious about being in a swimsuit, but now I have a fleeting moment about how I don't have the body I would rather have then think well at least I'm doing something about it. And, then it goes completely and I realise that it doesn't matter anyway what I look like. I am enjoying swimming and being doing something for my health and mental wellbeing.

So, if you can bear it, think back to your worst time while drinking and be proud that you are making sure that never happens again.

Longer term dry is sooo good. Come in, the water is lovely.

It wasn't easy no, but I hate to think that I've upset anyone.
Definitely not my intention at all.
Thank you for your support re my posts.
And as I say, I wish you all well.

@Breathmiller oh I'm thinking back and cringing so hard me.
Being sick and crying.
I never want to go back there.

I'm going shopping and buying myself some nice food for dinner
Might splash out and even have dessert😂

I wrote down what happened to me emotionally and physically before I quit, and the first week of withdrawal, anxiety etc. It was brutal. I pinned it up on the inside of my wardrobe, where only I can see it. Every morning it reminds me and I wince at where I was then. Not going back there, ever. I can't.

Have a good day all
Raining (again) here - will have webbed feet soon!
Soph

CH79 please don't feel bad. It sounds like you feel you have posted some of the things we might find triggering? Please don't worry. But do have a good think about what you want to do for yourself going forward. If it's staying sober, this thread is very much here to support that.
And I think all of us have posted about previous stuff in the past that prompted us to give up.
borderline I had a bit of a chuckle when you said that about "romanticisation' of alcohol! How our brains and society/ media, and maybe some friends, like to try and trick us! As you say the reality is so much different when you think back to your old life. Not much romantic about it- but we are sold that vision.

As breathmiller says, play the video forward to the end. Your brain is starting to rewire itself and you are building new experiences and a healthy body for yourself, it's just like a tiny part of your brain or body is hanging onto the old, trying to comfort you like a nice winter blanket, saying this is what you know, you're 'good at', just stick with that as it's nice and predictable.

But you have free will and you can pause and reflect on the old, (and have a chuckle at society's flawed romanticisation of it all!) and then flick it, and the blanket, off like a bit of fluff on your shoulder and turn and look forward again, where you will find new thinking, and new ways of being and wanting to be, open up, as you are starting to find already.

But you have free will and you can pause and reflect on the old, (and have a chuckle at society's flawed romanticisation of it all!) and then flick it, and the blanket, off like a bit of fluff on your shoulder and turn and look forward again, where you will find new thinking, and new ways of being and wanting to be, open up, as you are starting to find already

I LOVE this!! 100percentme

Hi everyone, I'd like to join this thread. I've been sober for about 2 weeks ( I don't want to count days. I feel it gives drinking too much significance) and I've been lurking for a while. I've been drinking too much for too long, and I was drinking at least a bottle of wine 4-5 nights a week. For a few hours of what I thought was pleasure, I'd then wake up at about 2 a.m full of anxiety, feeling awful and then spending the day with a hangover. It's just such a miserable existence. And then come the evening I'd be doing it again. Madness. About 6 years ago I quit ( after a particularly heavy night where I made a total fool of myself) and managed 6 months where I felt great, got fit but on Christmas Day thought 'I've done really well, one won't hurt' 🙄
I read sober threads with envy, and feel it's time to do it properly now. I know I can do it and I know I prefer life alcohol free, I have loved waking up every morning with a clear head and no anxiety.

Welcome @freesolo
Well done on your stretch of sobriety. I don't count the days because same as you, I feel that it gives the poison too much significance. I can relate to your post on a lot of levels.
You are now one of those envied on a sober thread - great isn't it?
Keep going, just a day at a time.
I tell myself every morning, "I'm not going to drink today" and that's it. Out of my head, no dithering. Don't think about tomorrow, just today. Every day the same. Works for me - keeping it simple.
Soph

@SophieB100

Welcome *@freesolo* Well done on your stretch of sobriety. I don't count the days because same as you, I feel that it gives the poison too much significance. I can relate to your post on a lot of levels. You are now one of those envied on a sober thread - great isn't it? Keep going, just a day at a time. I tell myself every morning, "I'm not going to drink today" and that's it. Out of my head, no dithering. Don't think about tomorrow, just today. Every day the same. Works for me - keeping it simple. Soph

Thank you, and yes that is exactly what I am doing ( I must have got that advice from one of the sober threads) about thinking " I am not drinking today ". It's too much somehow to think I will never drink again, although I hope I don't, but it's too much pressure. But it's easy to say I'll not drink today and it's a good feeling for the day. I am in a fantastic mood today, I have planned my day and I think that's the most important thing for me. I'm going to get some nice food in for tonight and look forward to enjoying some treats in front of the telly.

3 weeks sober here.
I'm sleeping better. Waking up with more energy. I've been exercising more, because I feel like exercising, rather than forcing myself to do it because I think I should.
Downsides are I'm spending more time on mumsnet and eating more. I think my brain is trying to replace alcohol with other dopamine releasing stuff.

Oh nearly had a moment of madness.Went down teh alcohol aisle and felt like all the bottles of wine where calling me.

But i did resist.Obviously too early to be beside wine.

Welcome to the newbies. Your descriptions of anxiety, sleep issues and hangover fatigue are so familiar. I had all of those, and the shame, fear and regret. Its so good to have left them all behind.

I'm 19 months alcohol free today 🙂

That will be all of you in 19.months from now!

Hi i am back. Back on day 3 nearly day 4 after reaching day 9. Wont go into the details here but was a lesson learned and i am so ashamed. But i am back and fighting.

@Soberanne everyone has lapses, it doesn't mean your back to the begining, it might be day 3 in practical terms, but it's not day 3 mind body and soul. You're wiser this time, you'll be stronger, you've learnt. You can do this, and you'll be more determined this time.

Day 7 for me, looking forward to my future

@Drybird2020 🥳🥳🥳 19 months! Huge well done. @CH79 please come back when you’re ready.
Welcome newbies!

I’m just posting to say I’ve had another good day and a friend bought me lunch out with me not even having a hint of feeling tempted. Hope it’s okay but at the moment checking in seems important every day x

@ChampooPapi thank you so much. Its lovely the support you get on here and never any judging. I am going to do this. The good thing is i stopped before i begun really and poured the rest away. Something i would never have done before but was gutted at how easily i gave in to start with. But i have discovered a trigger and have now put strategies in place.

Hello, I was worried I was triggering by referring to going back to Day 1 a couple of times. I hope not. But the discussion was very useful - I don’t want to upset or trigger, so that’s spurred me on, thank you!
. Am now day 3, ( amazed!) and the tips and encouragement on here are amazing.as is the not judging.
Not wanting to let the side down is a huge motivator, you are all so kind and thoughtful, and an inspiration. Like Allofthetime, checking in feels very important at the moment, if that’s ok.
Thanks all.

Morning everyone
I've noticed that as soon as I wake up I go through a list of reasons why I'm so happy I didn't drink last night, it's a great feeling every morning. The list is always long . I love waking up hangover free!

Morning
@Winenota I’m glad to hear it’s not just me!
@freesolo yes now you’ve put it like that I think I have done something similar- noticing my head feels clear etc
I am also feeling less bloated which is a bonus. Am appreciating all the posts and will reread some of the earlier ones as I need the reinforcement right now.

winenota
Day 3 is amazing! Well done.

And post every day, multiple times a day if it helps.

I'm on a lot at the moment as I have been on holiday and I've enjoyed being part of the conversation every day. I'm sure once I'm back to work tomorrow i won't be on as much. It goes in waves depending on how busy I am.
But I definitely found it useful to check in daily at the beginning. Gave me some accountability. And a wee dopamine hit to come on and say day 3/4 etc.

@winenota well done you 🙌 let's keep on being healthy and strong and waking up feeling fresh and ready for anything 💪

🥳winenota bloody well done! Well done soberanne pouring it away, recognising triggers and having a plan are all massive leaps! You can all do this! freesolo your morning list is great. I read somewhere that if you say 3 things you’re grateful for each morning it actually alters your mindset. Makes us recognise the positive stuff I guess rather than the negative crap taking up all our headspace. Maybe that’s something bunnies could try too? If it’s not too Pollyanna.
Enjoy your Sundays…

Well done winenota and others!

It sounds like there is something about 'playing the video forward' of all the things we do that make us feel good now that we are not drinking.

It's great to see how your thinking is changing and becoming more positive about yourselves! And that nice stuff related to the all other things you are now doing can now fill your mind, not thoughts about drinking or it's effects.

A wise poster here also once said 'no one wakes up and regrets NOT drinking the night before' which can be a good motivator too.

Hi all, I'd been thinking about not drinking for around 2 years - I was never really an excessive drinker, but definitely a habitual one. I've not had any alcohol for 3 months now and am at a stage where I can't imagine ever drinking again. Its fantastic to not have to worry about getting an Uber home from the bar, or being able to say 'yes' when my DD calls at 11pm and wonders if you can pick her up. I'm sleeping better, my skin is better and I've dropped half a stone.
Genuinely life changing!