The Freedom Thread; for those embracing a life without alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Welcome to the 7th thread in this series, which has helped me and many others find the way to a life free of and free from alcohol.

Anyone is welcome! Newbies, you will find emotional support, tips for handling cravings, strategies for handling social occasions and plenty of first-hand experiences to mirror your own. An alcohol problem makes you feel lonely and isolated, but you are not alone.

Please be aware that this is an abstinence thread – it can be difficult and triggering in the early stages to be around alcohol related chat (however, it might help to know that one of the gifts of long-term sobriety is not being at all bothered by people drinking or talking about drinking in your presence!) So, if you feel that moderation is for you, or if you feel you need to cut down before stopping, there are other threads in Alcohol Support that can help, or you can start one for the specific support you need.

Oldies, come and share milestones, enjoy the chat, and pay forward the kindness and non-judgemental support we have all benefitted from. And when you have the time, do yourselves a favour by finding where you started and reading through all your posts, it will show you how far you have come and what you have achieved! (I'll add links to previous threads in my next post).

Oooh just read that back and I sound really bossy. Sorry. xx

Got through one of my trigger points yesterday.
Dining out.
Wasn't even tempted.
I just have to keep my resolve and not buckle.

Well done birderlinehappy! Very well done indeed!

Well done @Soberanne @Winenota & @BorderlineHappy!

@Breathmiller - I've been wanting to try a wild swim and last night I did. We drove for 20 minutes then swam in the river with the dog, who was very bemused and wanted us to get out and throw balls as we're supposed to! Then shared a lovely picnic of baguettes, pate and cheese with an AF red wine.

Definitely not something I would have done when drinking, as a BBQ at home would have won every time. The other funny thing was that we were the only older people there - everyone else was in their teens or early twenties. I took a quiet satisfaction in feeling that giving up the booze was helping me act forty years younger!

Well donento @Winenota and the other newbies on breaking the barrier, and passing day 1. You never have to do it again!

@cartooner your break sounds ideal, have a great time. I'm off somewhere remote too, see you all when I get back. 😚

Yes!! cardiganofdoom

My friend and I were just talking about that yesterday. She goes kite flying. By herself. She was going with the her teenagers but found they usually didn't want to go. But she got so much joy out of it , off she goes to the park and flies her kite by herself. We were saying how my swimming is like that. Kids are so bloody clever. They do so many fun things naturally that make them happy. They dance and jump about, move the body, they go on trampolines, they jump and splash about and swim in rivers. They fly kites. What do we do for 'fun' as adults? Give ourselves a great big bloody hangover. Madness.

Maybe we can start another section of our toolbox? What things did you do as a kid that was fun and gave you a happy endorphin boost.

I did cartwheels. All the time. I danced. Ran, I was part of the athletics team. I swam. I played hockey, netball and did gymnastics. I read. And i loved flying my kite.

I think I might go buy a kite today. And then my friend and I can go kite flying together. In fact I might turn up at her door with my new shiny kite in my hand and ask if she's coming out to play.

Have a great holiday drybird look forward to hearing about it when you get back.

‘Let’s go fly a kite, up to the highest height, and send it soaring…’ Need a new username of Mary Poppins Breathmiller You guys have made me smile, laugh out loud and feel all warm and tingly inside this morning. I like to boogie and definitely don’t do that much anymore. But I should. And ignore my teens’ eye rolls.

We go away soon - overseas no less 🤞🏼 I’ve booked my teens to learn to scuba dive and I’m going to do a refresher course. I’ve not dived for 20 years and I’m feeling excitedly terrified. I used to love it. Not really very childlike but pure escapism.

Huge well done @BorderlineHappy and every time you get through a trigger it makes you stronger.
You’re tempting me with the wild swimming @CardiganOfDoom
Good luck with day 2 @Winenota have you a plan?

One of my favourite songs from that film stayingvigilant as well as "votes for women!!" I van often be found sending both of these as gifs or prancing round the kitchen singing them.

Have an amazing trip away. I've never done scuba diving. But i have a friend who has done it her whole life in the most amazing parts of the world and her photographs are so beautiful.

Day 2 winenota you've shown you can do a day. And today is the same. Except your self high five will be double. You can do it!! Pompoms are at the ready.

You lot really are inspirational. I really mean that. I'm actually feeling quite emotional reading this. I probably need a good cry.

I started drinking really young. I think I learnt earlier on that it had powers of obliteration. But there must have been things I enjoyed as a little kid. I didn't do much fun stuff, no kite flying or sledging. I spent a lot of time on my own. I read incessantly. I loved cycling my bike directing a big group of imaginary friends around behind me but I'm a dreadful cyclist now. Too many hills. I moved schools a lot and remember starting at one that had a playhouse that I was too old too play in. It was for the little ones but I was so desperate to play in it they made an exception for me. Fast forward twenty years and I spent £££ on a playhouse in a previous house for the kids which they never wanted to use because of the spiders. Looking back it was for me anyway!

I have made a conscious effort to make sure my kids have had lots of fun stuff going on but if I'm honest I don't really enjoy it myself. I get a lot out of their enjoyment of different things when that happens but I've always been there thinking when/ how can I get another drink whilst trying not to ruin their fun. I don't know how much of that is linked to not having had much fun as a kid.
Going to need how to work out how to have sober fun that I do actually enjoy!
Thanks all. Food for thought.
Heading into day 6- woop woop!

Day 5. Silly question and probably the anxiety but how do you know what your feeling is normal and not something else.

My mantra today, sobriety will win and i will jump every hurdle to let it.

kittensgalore i used to read loads as a kid too. I go through phases as an adult but I really miss that freedom to just lose yourself in a book for the whole day. Days even. Your post made me think you could make yourself a 'play house' now. Do you have the space and the funds to build a small summer house for your garde. Deck it all out nicely just as you'd like it. Make a reading den in it. I love that idea. I don't have a very bog garden (or the funds at the moment) but I dream of one of these little hexagonal summer houses in my garden painted pale green and all fresh and neat and tidy where i could go and drink tea and read a book in peace.

I've also got a notion to go on a bike again. I do have one but what state it's in in the shed after not being out for nearly 15 years goodness knows.

SoberAnne I think drinking really masks issues that are going in in our lives and definitely when the booze blinkers are off it can feel overwhelming and bring about anxiety. There is a physical reaction in the body as it flushes out your system on top of the mental reaction to it all. Is there something in particular you're worried about?

@Soberanne how do you know what your feeling is normal and not something else. What dyou mean?

Posted too soon. Dyou mean things like withdrawal symptoms?

Just spent half an hour looking at summer houses @Breathmiller, I feel a new Pinterest board coming on. It's a great idea and you are spot on, I'd absolutely love one but I'm on a limited budget too. Have moved recently and have a mini garden with a tiny dilapidated garden shed that I am up cycling. I started to paint it to look like a beach hut weeks ago but it's half finished and looks a mess to be honest. So that's this weekends project to keep me occupied. But longer term once the youngest has outgrown the trampoline I think I'll replace that with a summer house.

@Soberanne I'm at a similar stage and I feel rotten, a big irritable, emotional, anxious mess just now. Interspersed with moments of feeling bright and breezy. But they are fleeting. I keep imagining other physical symptoms as well but I'm hoping it is anxiety rather than an impending stroke coming on.

This is my first AF Wednesday which is a tricky time as I always have wine Wednesday as no DC and the dog is also having a sleepover elsewhere so I'm home alone. Need a different plan of action. Might re-start the shed painting tonight. Although when I began it I was drunk so perhaps that's not such a good idea. Who would have thought that finishing painting a shed could be a trigger 🙈.

Think about how much you will be saving financially, you might get that summer house sooner now that you're not pouring cash down you.

I'm having a lovely refreshing 7up in a nice glass with lime. So nice in this weather.

I had some good news today. My medical investigations seem to be stepping down a notch. Not as worrisome as before and I have had a little treatment that may help. So glad I got through the last month waiting to hear without falling into bad habits. It wouldn't have helped at all. In fact I know it would have made dealing with my thoughts and worries worse.

Hi everyone, day 5 is over, shop is closed, sobriety winning. This morning felt absolutely awful, my head was pounding and my anxiety went through the roof. I think i read too much of how by day 5 i would feel better and hung all my hopes on that. However i battled on and am still sober and around 4 pm the headache started to clear and the fuzzy feeling is fading. I know it may come back but for nowi am enjoying feeling like a normal human and for the first time in a long time i am looking forward to tomorrow.

Thank you so much everyone and i hope all the newbies arehanging in there.

@Kittensgalore thankyou and i am sorry that we are both going through this. Keep focused and one day you will be sitting in your lovely painted shed with a AF drink of your choice in hand feeling mighty proud of yourself.

Wow, you're all doing so well, am proud of you!
Don't worry about the way you feel now (if you're a few days in), it can take ten days, even a fortnight to get over the feeling a bit rough stage. It gets easier, but anxiety, palpitations, headaches, foggy head, weird sleep are all normal. Embrace these feelings (I'm kind of paraphrasing Annie Grace here) and see that you're feeling them because your body is clearing itself of the poison, your brain is creating new pathways, or resetting old forgotten ones. So just go with it, and it will get better. Early nights, lots of water, self pampering, spoiling yourself - all helps.
I was impatient to feel better after three or four days - thought I'd be bouncing about like Tigger, but I was more like Eeyore! Then I told myself that I'd been drinking too much too often for decades - so why on earth would I recover in less than a week.

And don't project - don't worry about unravelling why you drank, or coping with your true feelings yet. Just park that - it can wait. When you get a few months (or longer) under your belt, your thinking will be clearer, you'll feel far more rational, and then, if you're ready, you can unpick those reasons. But not yet - for now, focus on nothing except your sobriety. Crack that, and everything will fall into place at the right time.

Thank you to whoever thanked me for the Claire Pooley link (I can't scroll back) - so much of what she says has me nodding in agreement! I'm glad it helped. Another good blog with lots of useful archive stuff is "Mrs D is going without" - can't link at the moment, but you'll find it easily if you Google.

I hope those who are off on their holidays, remote or otherwise, have a lovely relaxing time - you deserve it.

Take care all
Last day of term tomorrow - I'll be saying goodbye to my favourite class ever - so that will be sad, but I'm also longing for the break.
Soph

@sophieb thank you so much. Your understanding and words are just exactly what needed to hear.

Great post sophie
Enjoy sending off your favourite class to new things. They have been very lucky to have you as a teacher. You sound a very kind and thoughtful teacher.

SoberAnne day 5 done!! Well done you! Lean into these moments of clear headedness and clarity. They will just get more and more. You are doing so well. It's like clearing a fog. It will clear and it is lovely when it does.

Yes have a great last day of term @SophieB100. I'm sure your class will really miss you too. The difference it has made to my kids over the years when they have found a teacher who they have felt really cares about them and their classmates has been immense.
Really glad you got good news Re your health issue @Breathmiller, that must have been a worry and so strong to have not wavered. One of the first things that had me opening a bottle is any kind of stress or worry. Although I am realising that my tolerance was so low due to the constant pouring of wine down my throat and the physical and mental impact of that on my body and mind.
Heading into day 7 and I've woken up with a headache again. I'm drinking a lot of water everyday so don't think I'm dehydrated. It will lift quickly I'm sure and I did actually almost sleep through last night, may have woken briefly but that was it which is unheard of.
But definitely more Eyeore than Tigger but then I think I probably always was!

Day 6 here and the headache is back but not as severe. Still feeling exhausted but am feeling positive and today due to me being on taxi duty tomorrow for a group of teenagers, alcohol is not an option. So my motto today, your driving tomorrow so its a huge no to the wine witch. I have realised i am now looking for reasons not to drink rather than finding reasons too drink. Thats got to be a positive.

That is a positive spin to put on things. Feels like a really good shift in your mindset. Well done

Day 6 here.Im feeling ok but im waiting for the thirst to kick in.
Thats my struggle.