The Freedom Thread; for those embracing a life without alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Welcome to the 7th thread in this series, which has helped me and many others find the way to a life free of and free from alcohol.

Anyone is welcome! Newbies, you will find emotional support, tips for handling cravings, strategies for handling social occasions and plenty of first-hand experiences to mirror your own. An alcohol problem makes you feel lonely and isolated, but you are not alone.

Please be aware that this is an abstinence thread – it can be difficult and triggering in the early stages to be around alcohol related chat (however, it might help to know that one of the gifts of long-term sobriety is not being at all bothered by people drinking or talking about drinking in your presence!) So, if you feel that moderation is for you, or if you feel you need to cut down before stopping, there are other threads in Alcohol Support that can help, or you can start one for the specific support you need.

Oldies, come and share milestones, enjoy the chat, and pay forward the kindness and non-judgemental support we have all benefitted from. And when you have the time, do yourselves a favour by finding where you started and reading through all your posts, it will show you how far you have come and what you have achieved! (I'll add links to previous threads in my next post).

Thanks @Drybird2020. I've spent years trying to have more control, trying to moderate, trying to be like so many other people who can seemingly have one or two drinks and then happily stop. I can't do it. I want to so, so much but I can't. And maybe what I need to want more is this.

Woke up with a dreadful headache but it's gone already whereas if I'd been drinking I'd still feel hideous. And I've just made my first iced coffee (terrible coffee addiction too but not going to address that just now), I made coffee ice cubes last night to have with it. Again absolutely no way that would have happened on a usual night. Or if it had entered my head to do so I would have woken up to half the coffee having been spilt on the floor and the other half in the freezer with none in the ice cube tray. Have to be honest in that I think my technique leaves something to be desired. As in it is actually fairly unpleasant but have to see that as another motivator, hopefully tomorrow's will be better!

Have a good Saturday everyone whatever you have planned.

@kittensgalore I find that, unfortunately, iced coffee requires sugar. In which case, go the whole hog and put ice cream in it 🍦

Congratulations @BunniesBunniesBunnies!

Still carrying on here, though the slight weight increase continues. I had a happy month or so when my appetite reduced and I had it in my head that that was the way it would be from now on. Did anyone find they started to lose weight later in their journey? I still have a massive sweet tooth compared to former me, who had a small something once a week, if that.

Just read the last posts, apologies I never even thought of it like that! I went a few nites last week AF, then broke that seems to be the way the pattern was going! Yesterday was a very stressful day, so again gave in. I thought putting it down in writing would help to pick myself up .. this evening is totally AF (so far) hoping to keep it that way! Il just read the posts at the moment, and maybe I was on the wrong thread at the minute. Hopefully il be back soon with a few days under my belt 🤞🤞 Apoligies I totally see yer point about this!

bunnies fantastic achievement! 🥳🥳🥳

keeptrying what a great name. Keep reading and setting the intention and it will come.

Hi everyone. Can i join please. I drink way too much and need to stop. This is day one.

keeptrying you're still sort of talking about it 😬. As an aside, when I felt stressed I used to think what would someone who'd never drank do to calm down instead?
soberanne welcome.

Just to highlight what Drybird said- there are some really helpful threads on the alcohol support section for helping you through these early stop-start-stop days if you are struggling to stop drinking.

This thread is for those who are sure in themselves that they've stopped- even though they have difficult days etc, and even if it is the beginning of their journey. I find it quite a positive and uplifting thread where we embrace our lives without alcohol in it. But talking about drinking can be triggering and isn't what the thread's about.

So, if you do end up drinking try not to tell us about it here or give a sort of running commentary of it- just come back to the thread once you've stopped.

If you are not sure if sobriety is for you yet, try one of the other amazing threads. Then come back when you're ready, everyone will be here for you

Hello all!!! Sorry for disappearing off, now it just reads as if I came on to boast about my 15 month milestone and then pissed off again😂 Oops! I do really always read the whole thread I just struggle to find the time to post sometimes.

Love seeing the talk of iced coffees! I love them too! No sugar in mine but quite a lot of double cream🤩

@HangingOver do Great Western really serve vegan porridge on board? That’s pretty neat (even if them advertising alcohol before breakfast is pretty shocking!!!).

Thanks @Drybird2020 for the eloquent and kind reminder that this is a sober thread. Talk of moderation is especially difficult for some (including me sometimes even though I’m largely a happy sober bunny🐰 ).

Welcome @Soberanne! I hope your first day was okay. The first stretch can be really tough but the rewards are so worth it. I’m so grateful to my past self for giving booze the boot 🥾

Do tell us more about yourself if you like. Hope it goes well for you.

I've noticed it's never come up here about the medical assistance some could get for initial weaning off. If it feels like a disorder or a overwhelming craving I do believe there are medications that can help. I know none of is are qualified to really advise so safer not to get into it but I don't think a person needs to be physically dependent in bs dangerous sense to get medical help. Just throwing it out there plus there's nutritional help that can be gotten too around withdrawal as it's hard going and there's lots more that could go in some toolboxes in that sense to get through the early days.

Sorry about typos I'm on my phone. I'm just flagging this for anyone who might need a little help.

Just checking in and saying hi 👋🏼 to everyone including old & new. Thanks for the post about this thread being like an AA meeting drybird it helps to know where we draw the line. I’m 6 months in and still unsure what can & can’t be mentioned, so thank you.
cardigan I’ve gained 8lbs since going AF all due to my sweet teeth. I’ve not tried very hard to reduce sugar intake. I will, but not today.
I’ve just checked ‘Sober’ app and I’m actually 7 months sober today!!! Very happy.

@Cartooner yes that is a good point. I think if you are drinking a lot it may be safer to stop with medical help, I do believe that comes up sometimes on this thread. There certainly is no shame in talking to your GP about alcohol, they will have heard it all before!!!

@CardiganOfDoom I would be kind to yourself (about the sweet tooth). I have/had several unhealthy coping mechanisms but when I quit drinking I didn’t try to tackle all the others straight away. Quitting alcohol was my priority. Since then one by one I have slowly started addressing the others. Even now at 1 years+ in I still haven’t cracked them all (though I have cracked some) but that’s okay with me. Slow progress and my priority is my sobriety.

Day 8 here.
I am eating more, not really sugary stuff, just anything. I think it's ok at the moment, whatever I need to get me through right now!
It's been so good to go to bed sober and to wake up with a clear head.
I still have a voice in my head telling me I don't have to do this now, but I know I do. I wrote down all the reasons I want to stay sober last night, it helped.

Thank you @Drybird2020 for all your advice on this thread, and for reinforcing what this thread is for.
I'm almost three months dry, and it's still early days for me. I'm still being really cautious. The initial buzz of being sober wore off after the first month, and now I'm settling into my new normal. I'm swerving the end of term teachers drinks which are happening at the end of term (Thursday, for us), because I'm fairly certain that whilst I wouldn't drink, I'd spend the week thinking about what I'll say, what I'll drink instead, etc., etc., so have decided to just not bother. I'm so tired after a very difficult school year, and exhausted me, surrounded by loads of friends in the sun drinking all day and evening doesn't sound a good idea for me.

I'm ok physically not drinking, the cravings are much milder. But my head is still catching up with being a non-drinker, and I still think about it a lot. Does that make sense?

Sleep is amazing now - took about six weeks for me to really start to get proper sleep and it's so good.

Sometimes feel a bit flat, a bit meh. But that's life right...can't be roses all the way.

Enjoy your sober Sundays you lovely lot and thanks for all the support on here.
Soph

@SophieB100 it’s amazing that you’re almost at 3 months!!! Wow! And I think it’s really important to recognise life is not all roses, even when sober. I’ve noticed the same but what I’ve also noticed is that I’m so much more resilient and able to cope with tough times when I don’t drink. More patient with the kids etc. Well done to you.

And well done to @FieldGuide for writing out that list. In the early days I frequently wrote out such lists to myself and it really helped.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies Thank you! It's reading posts from you and others who are further along the road of sobriety that give me a huge, huge boost. I had a frustrating day yesterday, getting over a stomach bug which is doing the school rounds, and wanted a quiet day in the garden, but had to spend it sorting out admin, returning parcels, boring stuff. And you're right, it wasn't great, but it was a lot easier than it would have been without the prerequisite Saturday hangover of a few months ago! And I have some other more serious stuff happening, which is difficult, but I'm dealing with it calmly and in a practical manner, rather than letting my emotions rule everything. So thanks for the reminder.
An old poster who I used to respect hugely on the Babes thread once said something like, "my worse day sober is much better than my best day drunk". So, so true.
Soph

3 months sophie !! That's so good. It's amazing how the days, then weeks then months start to add up. Well done you.

Yes, to life not being always sunshine and unicorns because you don't drink. But it does make dealing with these more difficult days easier thats for sure. The lie that booze tells us is that it will ease a difficult day. But it doesn't. I feel much more equipped to deal with challenges now that my head is clearer.

Not really AF related. But can you all send me a mahoosive pair of big girl pants attitude today? I am in quite in depth training with a narcissistic ex friend who is being awful to me whilst on a charm offensive with everyone else. Yesterday wasn't ideal to say the least. Nothing can be done to change her but I need to take a big breath to get through another day of her outrageous (to me) behaviour.

"Staying calm. Don't engage" my mottos for today. Any others?

She sounds a peach @Breathmiller
You need to borrow my poker face stare, it works a charm on year 7! (Not so much on the older ones, they're immune to it!)
Seriously, can you just 'grey rock' her - ignore, look through her, avoid. Keep any talk to an absolute minimum.
She obviously cares about this - otherwise it wouldn't be an issue - she want's a reaction from you - don't give her one. Let it wash all over you, bounce off you, water off a ducks back - all those sort of cliches - they work.
Rise above her - you're in a different league.
Soph

rogue apostrophe in wants - not good enough from an English teacher

Hi everyone. Thanks for being so welcoming and i have read a lot of this thread and some previous threads and what an inspiration it all is. Day 2 here. Yesterday was fine but then day 1 usually is due to feeling so rubbish. However this morning my mantra is that as i now no longer drink then i dont need to waste time thinking about drinking. I know that in these early days that may seem a bit naive but for today drinking is not an option. I know i may have some difficult days to face but as long as i dont drink today then the job is done for today.

Well done sophie and fieldguide!
breathmiller just try and tune her out? Or give her a lovely big smile from time to time
I'm with you all on the sweet tooth, I have managed 6 days now with no chocolate or biscuits, which is no mean feat for me. Which means I'm also cutting down the amount of tea I drink. I'm usually having loads of both working from home. I'm now noticing fruit tastes so much sweeter than it normally does.

soberanne that's a good mantra. And you will get through each day, the feelings of needing a drink always pass, and much quicker than you anticipate.

I would go with the grey rock approach @Breathmiller combined with the occasional smile and nod vacantly whilst thinking something entirely different. I have someone like this I have to deal with but fortunately mostly only virtually so when it gets really bad I stick a post it note over her face, works a treat.

Had a lovely evening with DC both of us drinking fizzy water and cream sodas. And now it's onto Day 3. It is really helping hearing from all of you at different stages. You are all doing so well.