The Freedom Thread; for those embracing a life without alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Welcome to the 7th thread in this series, which has helped me and many others find the way to a life free of and free from alcohol.

Anyone is welcome! Newbies, you will find emotional support, tips for handling cravings, strategies for handling social occasions and plenty of first-hand experiences to mirror your own. An alcohol problem makes you feel lonely and isolated, but you are not alone.

Please be aware that this is an abstinence thread – it can be difficult and triggering in the early stages to be around alcohol related chat (however, it might help to know that one of the gifts of long-term sobriety is not being at all bothered by people drinking or talking about drinking in your presence!) So, if you feel that moderation is for you, or if you feel you need to cut down before stopping, there are other threads in Alcohol Support that can help, or you can start one for the specific support you need.

Oldies, come and share milestones, enjoy the chat, and pay forward the kindness and non-judgemental support we have all benefitted from. And when you have the time, do yourselves a favour by finding where you started and reading through all your posts, it will show you how far you have come and what you have achieved! (I'll add links to previous threads in my next post).

Hi all lovely reading your toolkit ideas I will share mine below:
I am AF for two years ... I had one slip up - one glass of red wine a few months ago which confirmed that I needed to be AF. Basically I felt like shit the next day and I spent the whole of the evening wanting a second glass.
I am so pleased that I have managed to remain sober throughout the whole euros football tournament! This is a huge trigger for me and guess what I enjoyed and remembered every single game.
Was gutted yesterday because of the result but so happy to be waking up hangover free . I bet a few people were waking up with sore heads and regrets having seen some of the footage of what had been going on - truly awful.
I also had a night out and danced Saturday night !!! (By our table - because of restrictions) honestly something I never thought I would be able to do but I had a great time and drank tonic water all night .
It's amazing to be able to go out and not have to write off the rest of the whole weekend . Still get up with my kids in the morning and enjoy the day with them.
My toolkit

• this thread
• quit lit - really enjoyed "alcohol lied to me " and "this naked mind"
• I listen to bee sober the alcohol experiment podcast really relate to the two ladies who do it. It's a uk one.

-AF drinks in a nice glass

• Booking a gym class first thing on a Sunday morning (feel amazing after)
• Running (not fast or huge distances) just music on first thing in the morning .

In relation to this if anyone is interested "parkrun " is restarting next weekend 24th July its 9am every Saturday morning loads of locations across the uk - run or walk 5k . I like having a set time to go to something so this helps me.

@CardiganOfDoom thank you so much for the kombucha advice, yours is far clearer than all the websites I've been confusing myself with. 😘

Welcome @Callybrate and @keeptrying123, your stories sound very familiar, this is a good place to come for support. Don't be intimidated by the length of time some people have been sober , or the number of amazing things people manage to keep in their toolboxes and do with their time. You will get there and in the early days your one job is not to drink and your toolbox should contain whatever you need to get you through the day. Mine had chocolate, hot drinks, early nights, new books for my kindle, and AF beer. Nowadays I'm less fussed by the chocolate and AF beer but I still like the other things and have added running and creative writing. Keep posting regularly, it will help.

Let me know how it goes if you try it @Drybird2020. My pineapple one is really turning out too sweet for me but I love the addition of chilli to make it a bit more grown-up. Perhaps less juice next time.

Welcome @Callybrate and @keeptrying123!

I don't feel I'm in a position to advise any people who are wobbling, as I am myself at times - but then, why not share just in case it helps?

My toolbox does include many of the same things as others - find your favourite AF drink so that you have something you enjoy when others are drinking. You'll probably find you can concentrate much later into the evening, so getting back into reading has been good for me, especially when camping. I've also found I've got a much sweeter tooth nowadays, and after 3 months, I'm only just starting to try to reign it in a bit. Sugar really can give you a little dopamine boost, which is great in the early stages before your brain has recovered. Exercise might do it for you (for me it's only slightly), being outdoors definitely lifts my mood.

But one thing I really try to do, and alluded to in my previous post, is to understand the health & fitness implications of drinking. Jason Vale's book is big on this - once you fully understand the disservice alcohol is doing you, why would you want to drink it? You won't need to struggle with temptation, if you are no longer tempted. I used to smoke, for example, but now the thought of it never crosses my mind. I am free from it. Look up your increased risks for cancer, heart attacks, dementia, osteoporosis, poor sleep, anxiety, stress and many more.

I try to remember the parties I went to as a child - probably the most fun I've ever had at a party, and on nothing more than orange squash. It's a shame that we are introduced to alcohol as teenagers, just when our social anxiety is really ramping up, and then come to see it as a solution to our social dis-ease.

I'm a broken record here on the journalling but I now have a green hardback that I wrote in daily, twice daily in the first few weeks 8 months ago with my reasons why. I drew pictures, wrote first thing in the morning about my lovely clear head. Wrote in my wobbles. Put in quotes. Included lists of health reasons. I haven't written in it in months, so there's that in terms of who the grip loosens so nicely that you don't feel the need to be constantly convincing yourself this is the right path. Now in a wobble of which I have many, I pick that green hardback off the shelf and have a read back! It's great to have. It's like a letter to yourself, our memories are useless don't rely on it to tell you properly how crap you feel right now and how badly you want the next few weeks to work out. Good luck!

Just to say it’s 15 months since I quit🤩 I don’t really count the smaller milestones anymore but I did have a lovely sense of satisfaction today when I noticed it was the 14th. Went for some drinks in the early afternoon after work with friends and they were all drinking wine and gin. I was so happy not to be drinking, it would have added nothing to my afternoon.
I know it’s not a special milestone but feeling good about being AF is still a lovely feeling, it never wears off. I’m really proud of myself and how far I’ve come, and really thankful to all the lovely people (old and new) on this thread who keep me motivated.
Thanks all😊

@BunniesBunniesBunnies
Congratulations amazing achievement!
So inspiring for us starting out on our sober path.
Love reading about these long milestones.
Amazing.
Soph

Great stuff Bunnies the time seems like it has flown in! well done on this milestone Every day is it's own milestone but it's good to celebrate the ones that aren't just the nice round numbers / traditional ones - I love those days, like you've just had, that bring you more realisation and just make you so thankful for it.
But fully expect you back here for your 18 months soberversary, (which will be just past my 15month one)

This is today's quote from my sober time app:

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

What a great quote!
Welcome newbies. You can do this!

Friday now I'm hoping we hear from some of the newbies of recent weeks cos so many seem to disappear after a couple of posts. Come back people and get up on the horse again, you can do it!

Hello, can I join you all?
I had my last drink 1 week ago. I've been trying to give up for over a year. I did manage about 2 months sober last year, but started drinking again and I've been trying to stop ever since. I've realised I can't moderate.
I've spent the last week reading all the old threads. So many great tips and inspiration.

Morning lads, checking in. Been feeling a bit cross about the walls of booze in Morrisons again and am currently on a train where "Craig the trolly-dolly" was encouraging people to buy "a wine or beer because it's the weekend" at 9.30 sodding AM. God help us. I'm going to read your updates now.

Bunniiiiiiiies 15 months yes yes yes yes! You bloody legend

Yes @FieldGuide come in in, pull up a chair and a nice glass of something AF and join us. Here's to a great weekend for you after the week!

Wow hanging over, the law doesn't allow that here. Promoting drinking at 930 am, that is so wrong n every level.

I know, it's batshit. I nearly scream tweeted Great Western Railway but they'd just hooked me up with vegan porridge and a soya coffee so I felt a bit bad

You can't even buy an AF beer before 10am here!

I do think trains are particularly bad, the way the booze menu is proudly announced after every stop really pisses me off.
Welcome @FieldGuide, the second week should be easier especially with some quality chat on here.
I got sunburnt yesterday, on a scottish beach, so am slathered in aloe Vera swigging pints of cold water. I'm not built for these temperatures.

Can I join you too? I've been reading through some of the old threads, they have really helped. I've been trying to cut down for so long but it's all just completely out of control. Cutting down is making it worse. I had had a few days here and there where I don't drink but I never maintain it. I've signed up to the 30 day alcohol experiment and download the Calm app. And I've been to the shop and bought fizzy water not Prosecco.
I was worried about posting and then not sticking to it. Because I never do. But I'm so sick and tired of it dominating my thoughts and every aspect of my life. I can't imagine what it would be like to not always be thinking about how and when to get another drink in. The alcohol experiment journal asked the question what would you feel like in a year if you were AF. I would feel so many things but mostly I realised I would feel free. Anyway I hope it's ok to join, I hope I do continue to post because that will mean I'm sticking with it. And hopefully I can be of some help to others as well as being inspired by you lovely lot.

Hi everyone! @Cartooner mentioned earlier newbies who only post a couple of times and disappear, and I've realised I'm one of them! Firstly, you lot are amazing in the support you give each other, and me when I posted before. I guess I dropped off because I've gone down the occasional light drinker route rather than stopping completely. I think I've been really fortunate. My second blood test came back all clear so I have a happy liver, despite years of heavy drinking - 4+ bottles of wine a week. I quit completely for 6 weeks. I used that time to reprogram my brain, or at least that's what it feels like. I read quit lit and thought hard about why and how my drinking had got to that point, and learnt to challenge the idea that it was helping. Since 6 weeks in, I've had the occasional glass of wine socially, but most weeks nothing. When I do, to my relief I've found I can stop at one or two. I'm watching myself like a hawk as I really don't want to see my drinking increase. The good news is I'm not missing heavy or regular drinking at all. I feel and look better. No racing heart beat or redness in the face. I also feel better mood wise. It's not that life is always great, but I feel more stable and resilient in dealing with it.

My tool kit definitely includes you lot because you are inspirational. I've also built up a selection of lovely AF and soft drinks that I really enjoy. And i also use the nice glasses for them. And I remind myself that i love sleeping better, no hangovers and being able to give my DD a lift without thinking about the wine I'm missing out on!
Sorry, that was lengthy 😁

I should have added, hello to @kittensg

Meant to say to @Kittensgalore that I fully know what you mean avout being sick of alcohol dominating your thoughts. That really can get better, one day at a time. And it is a sense of freedom, one i'm still in the early days of, but it is there waiting for you. Good luck.

Thank you @Sunlitdreams. And congratulations on your healthy liver results. I dread to think what kind of shape mine is in. That must be a relief for you.

I'm making a list of things I can do to distract myself and listening to the Over the Influence podcast which I think will be helpful too.

Thanks for the welcome. I'm hoping that posting here will help me to stay accountable.
I have a wonderful DH, but he doesn't think I have a problem. Probably because my drinking probably doesn't seem any different to most of the people we know.
I'd normally be drinking wine now but I'm having sparkling water with limes, mint and cucumber in a nice glass.

Haven't posted much since I joined, just coz I'm sitting here with a glass of wine! Feel like I shouldn't b in this thread wen everyone is doing so well. Very stressful day and the first thing I went for wen I came home was a glass of wine. Love this thread and all the encouraging posts, need to get this sorted. Tomorrow is a new day! Hopefully!!!!

It's good to hear from people who are still considering going AF but please can I remind everyone that this is an abstinence thread, so if you are actively drinking please do not discuss it here. There is scope for that in other threads in the Alcohol Support topic.

By all means lurk, ask a general question for advice if you need to, but think of this as a dry environment. You wouldn't take a drink to an AA meeting so please don't bring one here.

This is the only "rule" of the thread, and it is to protect people who are in a vulnerable place and may well be triggered by descriptions of drinking. It's very difficult to hear about successful attempts at moderation, if you know in your heart that you can't ever do it. It can weaken people's resolve. The little voice starts up again; "she can do it, so why can't I? One or two seems to be fine for those people, why don't I just go back to doing that?" For most people on here, moderation is not an option. We need a clean break.

And it's not just newbies! I have been AF for over 18 months now, and am relaxed about being in pubs and around drinkers in RL, but this is the one entirely safe, alcohol-free space, in my life, and it supports my sobriety to keep it that way.

Thanks everyone, lecture over.

Hi all, lovely fresh Saturday morning feeling here. We'll done to everyone on their important journeys. Thanks Drybird I have to say I do rely on this thread to be AF entirely myself too as summertime is peak trigger time for lots of us so good to be reminded of the rule.

Well done @Sunlitdreams and hope I wasn't putting pressure on anyone to post.