Sober 8/3/2021 who's with me?

[mumjustmum]

Tomorrow, I'm going sober. Nothing. Not one. No NA drinks either. Just need to change this horrific habit and addiction I've allowed myself into. Today I will drink 4 bottles of wine. I look and feel
Terrible.
Anyone with me?

Morning all - day 5 today and I will not drink.

Well done @Longjohn33 , @Sharpasknives and @Secretsquirrelsbuddy and everyone else battling alcohol problems.

Mother’s Day today in the U.K. my DD told me last week that she’d planned something for us but was now not going to bother as I had upset her so much with my drinking. Yesterday she “went for petrol” but was actually getting me gifts - made me go upstairs while she “sneaked” them in. And she’s told me not to have a big breakfast as she’s making us a lovely brunch. I feel so humbled by her forgiveness although I know I’ve still got a long way to go to rebuild our relationship. But if I am tempted to drink, I am going to really focus on how much I would be letting her down if I did.

KOKO everyone and happy Sunday

(I’ve added cake as I had biscotti cheesecake for breakfast yesterday the excuse being I need to replace the sugar from alcohol )

@Secretsquirrelsbuddy - sorry to hear your weekend has been really tough. I’ve had a good one but my drinking pattern is to go on a 3 day minimum bender, stop for around 12 days then repeat. It takes that time to get over the shame and anxiety so I know next weekend will be dangerous for me. Strategy is to talk to DP, friend and post on here if I have the urge to drink. If need be, I will also give DP my bank cards so I cannot buy anything.

What strategies have you been using to keep things in control?

@mumjustmum - how are you doing?

You’re all doing so brilliantly. I haven’t drunk for nearly 3 years and life is so so much better.

Like other PP have said podcasts are so helpful-I was listening to multiple episodes a day in the first few months. What really helped me was thinking of a toolbox filled with things to use instead of drinking-running, yoga, baths, podcast, book, food, sweets, tea, knitting, games on my phone, etc etc. Working through this list helped especially because the thing I found the hardest was having no escape from all the difficult feelings that come up, or the hard situations. It’s taken a while for me to learn that drinking alcohol at those times is just like pouring petrol on a fire, and you never actually deal with those feelings/situations.
I hope that what i’m doing is showing my children that there are ways of dealing with tough stuff that isn’t booze.

You are all inspirational! Keep going!

Morning everyone - day 6 for me today and I will not drink.

@MarthaHanson - congratulations on your nearly 3 years. Good idea about the tool box. I am sending myself texts about how good I feel not drinking and things I need to remember if I get the urge (upset DC, promise of a better life, DP in tears etc). I am also taking photos of the lovely things in my life to remind me of what I stand to lose. DD made me a fantastic brunch yesterday for Mother’s Day, decorated the room, set the table all fancy etc. Thoughtful gifts from both DC , including one from our cat! I’ve got pics of them all and if I feel the urge to drink, hopefully it will hit home that I just cannot let them down again after they have forgiven me so much (although not forgotten I’m sure). At this moment in time, I just cannot imagine ever wanting to drink to oblivion again.....but I’ve been here before so I know only too well I’ve got a long way to go.

Off for a shower now then a short commute to my dining room to start work. Sun is shining after days of crappy weather so will get out for a walk later. Hope everyone is managing to stay sober and if not, today is a new day.

KOKO x

Keep going everyone!

My in laws showed up on Sat night with a takeaway and a bag full of wine expecting me to join in with a big night of drinking.

I was upfront that I felt I had a problem with alcohol and that I needed to abstain, it's the first time I have ever admitted that.

I was more than happy with a Coke Zero and it was so interesting to see them start slurring etc as the night went on. Biggest revelation was having to tidy away the glasses - the smell was actually repulsive!! For the first time in my adult life I feel like I have lost the desire to drink

I had the same experience. I visited my dad last night for dinner and he offered to collect us so we could drink. I said no thanks I’m not drinking. As the night went on I started to notice they were getting more drunk. When I started to leave he said “oh is your taxi outside?”

He hadn’t even remembered I drove myself and was not drinking. What a relief!

@Elzbells @Longjohn33 - well done! Good to get some positive reinforcement about not drinking. When I did dry January, partner and I went to friends house. I was amazed to see them all become more tipsy til they were drunk. Slurred speech, getting louder, laughing more etc. It really hit home how much alcohol actually drugs you and I thought then I’d never drink to drunkness again.......but of course I did, many times.

I read an article about alcohol effects on the brain and cues. It also explained why, from a brain perspective, stopping was so hard even when you weren’t outwardly physically addicted (ie not getting the shakes or other withdrawal symptoms). Apparently it’s because alcohol changes your brain chemistry (dopamine levels) so that cues remind you of pleasure and the dopamine tells the brain to expect pleasure.

Yesterday afternoon I found out my partner’s brother was coming for dinner (he’s in our bubble). I immediately thought about drinking. Since I’m ‘not allowed’ to drink at the moment, I started thinking about ways I could sneak it into the house. After reading the article, I can now appreciate why him coming is a cue - my brain expects to drink when he is here. Sounds obvious but I never knew it was because of an actual physical change in my brain. The article also explained it takes weeks if not longer for the brain chemistry to get back to normal hence it gets easier to abstain the longer you do. This has strengthened my resolve to stay off the booze and I’ve woke up this morning feeling okay that I won’t be drinking tonight. So day 7 and I will not drink.

I truly hope the rest of you are waking up well this morning and if you are not, have some .

KOKO x

Morning i hope eveyone is starting to feel some benefits from not drinking. 10 days now. Ive got more energy, my skin looks better and work is do much easier without the brain fog. Im listening to podcasts walking the dog snd in the car, they seem to be helping.
Xx

Hiya im back. So honestly had a major lapse weekend, drank on sat and sun. However the difference this time is on Monday i jumped back on the wagon, ive NEVER done that after a lapse before. So again im three days sober. Im starting to realise that im not ready to go totally sober yet, but everyday i go without a drink is a victory and gets me 1 step closer, as just a few months agoI couldnt have even managed1 night. I hope its still ok to hang out here in the meantime.

Hi everyone, I’ve name changed for this. I’d like to join you for lots of reasons. I’ve been a heavy drinker for a while, however over the last few weeks, I’ve gone from daily night time drinking, to drinking more than a bottle during the day and feeling so rough by bedtime.
Last week I also started throwing up, which normally doesn’t happen to me. I’m just so ashamed that I’ve let it get this far. I’m depressed, overweight, hide empty bottles from DP and know that it’s sabotaging any exercise plans I have! None of my friends or family know.
Can’t do it anymore. I bought 4 bottles of wine last week and vowed to myself that I’d stop on Monday. Had my last drink on Sunday and haven’t touched any since then. So pleased about that! The only thing is I’ve vowed not to have any for the rest of this month and only have one drink day a month from April onwards. I can’t imagine never having a drink again due to social pressures, so that drink day would have to be at an event or occasion. Do you think this is doable?

Also just wanted to say, well done everyone!

Welcome tallpoppy
I was too sick of hiding empty bottles and sneaking them out and driving to a bin to get rid of them. I hadn’t realised how much anxiety i had over my partner finding them or smelling alcohol on me. Its like a weight has been lifted.
You can do this x
Redannie well done for jumping back on the wagon xxx

Thanks @Sharpasknives. It definitely stressful trying to find new hiding places . Don’t want to do that anymore. Well done with your progress. I’m on day 3 so a long way to go, but just trying to take one day at a time. I’ve had some nausea and headache last night. Drinking ice cold water helps. On the plus side, I have lost 3 lbs since Monday

I haven't lost a pound, which I'm a bit gutted about considering I was drinking about 1000 calories a night - although I have developed an evening biscuit habit I didn't have before!

Looking at my second weekend off the booze and still going strong - mindset in the right place although I would be lying if I didn't admit to a bit of an itch around 5pm. I will have to be mindful of that trigger when I get a bit more complacent.

Hope everyone else is still doing well.

Good luck and stay strong everyone today and this weekend.

@Elzbells @Hyppogriff Hope the weekend’s going ok. I’ve managed to avoid having any booze so far, but this evening was tough. The urge was strong but managed to distract myself by blasting some music and dancing like a madwoman. I’m on day 6 and feeling good. Hope everyone’s ok.

Hi everyone, I'm sorry I've been quiet, especially as I started the thread.
I've failed massively the last week, and need a few days to sort myself out. I'll return as soon as I can participate to (my own 🤦🏻‍♀️) thread appropriately.
So pleased to see you're all doing so well. This gives me a lot of motivation, thank you for all continuing.

May I please join this support thread?

Day 3 of a new way forward. I'm done with the vicious cycle of 'I won't drink tonight' and then going to get a bottle of wine.

I stopped for 3 months the last time I felt like this, but stupidly fooled myself that I could become an occasional drinker, after abstinence.

Not this time.

2 weeks now. Not getting any easier at the weekends but becks blue saved the day. Keep focussed eveyone

2 weeks for me too. Wasn’t that tempted at all. OH woke up a bit hungover on Sunday and I felt good that I wasn’t.

2 weeks for me also. I'm not finding it too bad but will be happy when the feeling that I'm missing out on something passes. What is it - 6 weeks to break a habit ?

I've moved my attention to losing 2 stone now so hopefully my brain can overthink food choices rather than trying to justify my decision to stop drinking!

Day 4 and no wine. Feeling really positive so far.

I even picked up a takeaway for hubby's birthday. I normally don't drive anywhere in the evenings (because I'd normally have already had a couple of glasses) so it made a nice change.

Hi all. I'm sorry and ashamed to say I also failed and went on a massive binge. My family are so disappointed in me - I've actually moved in with a friend for a few days as they can't even look at me. I am terrified I won't be able to get a grip. I've tried so many times - its just so draining thinking about drinking all the time. I could have a lovely life - I just don't know why I do it.

@mumjustmum Nevermind, at least you’re trying. Hope you’re ok? I don’t think anyone’s judging because we’re all in the same boat.