Hi everyone, I'll join you if that's okay. You better boil the kettle, sorry for the long read!! I've read through the the thread so I'm familiar everyone and how they are getting on. I just want to say well done to you all. For everyone that has stuck with it since they quit, and the others that had the strength to get back on the wagon after a blip.
A little about myself. I'm 41 and have spent many years over doing it with drink. It started out with my ex husband, drinks at home and visits became a regular occurrence. It's what he always did, it was his way of socialising etc, and I began tagging along. Before I knew it I was drinking more nights than I wasn't. That marriage broke down in an ugly way, he was mentally, emotionally and physically abusive /violent. I eventually had the courage to leave him, and I felt happier for it. The trouble is, I was left with a lot of anxiety which I self medicated with wine in the evening. I was so afraid I wouldn't sleep otherwise.
Fast forward to meeting my current husband. He went from being a weekend drinker to a nightly drinker with me. We used to share a bottle to a bottle and a half of wine, or half a bottle of vodka each. This turned into a bottle and a half each of wine at night. We were never day drinkers, but once the kids were down in bed, this was 'our time'.
A few months ago I went for blood tests to help work out what was causing my fatigue. I was so bodily exhausted everyday, it depressed the hell out of me. I felt like I wasn't a functioning human anymore, and like I was failing the kids because I hadn't the energy to do much with them. It wasn't the first time I'd blood tests like this, and the only result that ever came back was a B12 deficiency. The last lot of bloods I had taken the phlebotomist when talking about my liver function she said 'your liver.. hmm, it was a bit.. no no look its okay too'. That was all I needed to hear, it was the first time anyone had hesitated and I just knew something had changed. I was undoubtedly damaging my liver and it was starting to show. Too ashamed to talk to anyone about the nightly drinking yet, I did plenty of research and know reduced liver function kills your immunity and your body doesn't absorb nutrients the way it should. No nutrients = fatigue. I am technically obese as a result of turning a blind on to my drinking.
5 weeks ago today I had enough, and have been living much cleaner. Getting out for exercise, eating cleaner, sleeping earlier and just taking better care of myself in general. I feel so much better and my energy has improved immensely. I am now down a stone in weight, and feel very positive about the future.
I want to share with everyone how I tackled it, and the approach / mindset I have as I know for a fact that I will never drink again. I'm a proud pioneer.
Firstly, I don't want to vex anyone that is in AA. I tried it once years ago, and it wasn't for me. I'm very happy for everyone that it's worked for. I just needed a different approach to tackling alcohol dependence. I started watching videos online of people that have come out the other side of this. One you tuber I watched was Craig Beck. I am not a paid subscriber to his site or anything, I just watched all of his free content. I wish I had watched these years ago, because it changed how I think about drinking completely. He helps you see how it is ingrained in everything we do, and it's no wonder some of us slide down the slippery slope to dependence. I also now know that people that push you drink are not just trying to get you join in the fun, it is a herd mentality amongst drinkers. If everyone is drinking it justifies their own drinking. I realise now that I was far from alone in my night time daily drinking. This is far more of a problem than just you at home having a few de-stressers. There are so many people out there that are circling the plug hole, hiding how much they drink at home. What I like about his approach is that he helps you see you aren't weak, you're not a victim, and you don't have to say you're a recovering alcoholic for the rest of your life even though you might be sober for years. We aren't weak and hopeless. I wholeheartedly recommend you watch even his free stuff on YouTube, because he just glows with positivity which is just what I needed.
My mum used to say to me years ago 'your health is your wealth', she wasn't wrong. My health, skin, weight, relationships, everything is on the up just because we got wine out of our nightly routine. My husband had a big blood pressure issue, and it's come tumbling right down since he quit with me.
Being around supportive people is so important. If my husband wasn't on the same page as me I'm not sure how successful I would be. When I read about the poster on here that was having her 30th birthday, and her husband got a pop up bar my heart sank. I truly thought she would be pushed to the edge. I'm beyond impressed that you didn't fold under pressure, well done to you!! And belated happy birthday ☺️
Anyway, I rattled on enough here. I just wanted to say hi and say what helped me. I'm so happy to say 'I don't drink, thanks!' when offered one now.
Onwards and upwards everyone! Here's to a happier and healthier version of ourselves ♥️💐