Sober 8/3/2021 who's with me?

[mumjustmum]

Tomorrow, I'm going sober. Nothing. Not one. No NA drinks either. Just need to change this horrific habit and addiction I've allowed myself into. Today I will drink 4 bottles of wine. I look and feel
Terrible.
Anyone with me?

@Secretsquirrelsbuddy hang in there!

Just in case you don’t already, do take thiamine (vitamin B1) in particular, plus a high dose vitamin B complex. Thiamine helps protect your brain while detoxing, and is what you’d be given if doing a medically supervised detox.

Following your journey with admiration.

Just done my weekly shop and walked straight past the wine aisle! Feeling proud of myself

Well done. That’s great. I’m going to try and get an non alcoholic version just to celebrate my birthday. I’m sure it will still feel special and trying to not feel like I’m missing out.

Hi OP - I'm in. This is day 3 for me. Have name changed for this as I know some of my colleagues are on MN and I don't want to be linked to previous posts.

My drinking has escalated to the point where I am at risk of losing everything - my family, my partner, my job, my license.....I still have these but I've lost my self-respect, my family are all furious with me (and really concerned) and they can't take any more. This really is my last chance or I think I will need to leave. MY DC are young adults and have had experiences no person should have eg me being so drunk and passed out / making horrible comments to them.

I've been struggling with anxiety and depressive symptoms for the last 6 - 8 months and using alcohol to self medicate. It started as a 'cure' for insomnia but escalated. Working from home means I don't need to drive in the morning so that means I can drink all night. I've been in Teams meetings really hungover and probably still drunk if I'm honest. My job is really stressful at the moment and in all honestly, I hate it but the department is in a bit of a crisis and I don't feel I can leave at this time. Plus getting something else at my age is more difficult (Late 50s) as people are quite ageist generally, especially towards women!

My partner and adult son do drink in the house (although not excessively) but surprisingly I can cope with that okay. My problem is that I am drinking myself to oblivion/to drown out intrusive thoughts but of course, the anxiety the next day is sky high.

I did dry January so thought I would be safe to go back to 'moderate' drinking but its now just ruining my life and that of my family.

So a bit of a long post but I am determined to cut it out.

How is everyone else doing?

@Stuckhere2021 you did dry January what an amazing achievement. You can do this. Each day as it comes. With the alcohol our your life you can focus on your family and work life.

Good luck and welcome aboard

Thank you @Secretsquirrelsbuddy. yes I did dry January and found it easy. It’s the thought of never being able to drink again that I am finding hard - like a lot of people do. But I simply cannot go on the way I have been. My family are sceptical as I’ve made so many claims and promises to be getting it under control then boom - carnage. It has to stop. I’m actually feeling grateful for lockdown as there is no socialising and all our friends are quite big drinkers although not in the same league as me.

I have 40 minutes till the shop closes. This is the hardest it’s been. I asked my son to go get me some fizzy water. Feel bad as it’s raining heavily now. Wasn’t when he left. But I know if I went I would have bought booze but I just feel like I need something in my hand later. My son is late teens in case anyone is worried I have sent a little one on their own 🤣 and is happy to go as he Fancied some Pringles and cola for tonight

Made it. Shop closed so I can’t get booze, just making tea and then heading for a relaxing bath.

Hope everyone is holding out ok and please if your struggling speak out on here.

Can I just add and I hope that’s ok, if anyone does have a drink please don’t feel guilty, stay on the group because every and any day that we do sober is a good day and the rest, well we will get over them.

Well done @Secretsquirrelsbuddy!! Threat over. I’m it even tempted at the moment. Partner have a beer as he is on an early tomorrow so will have an early night. It doesn’t make me feel like drinking. My danger point will be after I haven’t drank for a couple of weeks and the desire to blot everything out comes in.

@Stuckhere2021 thank you

Hope you got through today ok

Does anyone know, can the damage done to your body/health by heavy drinking, be reversed by stopping?

Morning all. I had a good day yesterday, slept really well and feeling positive this morning. Day 4 today.

@Worried234 - I’m not a doctor so this is just what I have gleamed from lots of reading - others may know more so please don’t take what I am saying as medical advice!

The liver is remarkably resistant and able to regenerate itself even after a lot of damage - BUT - extensive scarring is irreversible and can lead to cirrhosis and permanent organ damage / reduced liver function. Liver enzymes can get back to normal within 2 weeks to several months depending on how skewed they were. A damaged liver also affects your immune system, gut and electrolytes in your blood. By stopping drinking these can improve and return to normal (again if you don’t have extensive scarring). Other things like your blood clotting, kidney function and brain levels of certain neurotransmitters and risks of cancers can also return to normal within weeks /a few months of stopping.

God just writing all that makes me wonder how I could possibly drink to excess knowing all this! But that is the demon that alcohol is.

@Worried234 - my strategy is to know the dangers but also to believe that some /most of the damage can be undone. If I was too pessimistic, it would reduce my motivation to stop, if that makes sense? Good luck on your journey.

@Worried234

Does anyone know, can the damage done to your body/health by heavy drinking, be reversed by stopping?

Hi worried - what damage is it you are worried about? I am 8 years sober this summer. Was a very big binge drinker for years, then an everyday drinker. What ever it is you have wrong it is best to know so you can with it all in the best way. These were things I was incredibly worried about too. As drinking to oblivion for so many years left me sick, nauseated, I had problems with shaking, sleeping. Shame was a massive part as I was always doing things wrong I actually for years considered myself such a bad person. Now I know I'm not a bad person just made bad choices big difference. I hope you are ok. You all sound like you are doing incredible and one thing I can promise is it will be the best journey you ever take. My life has changed beyond anything I could of dreamed of. Good luck all

@Worried234

Does anyone know, can the damage done to your body/health by heavy drinking, be reversed by stopping?

@Worried234 I was told many years ago that I had irreversible damage to my liver caused by drinking. It didn't make me stop - if anything, it strengthened my resolve that I was a hardened alcoholic and that there was no point. I did, however, keep the discharge paper that this stark warning was printed on, so it registered somewhere in my drink befuddled brain. I'm in my fourteenth sober year and appear to have no ill effects - blood tests when required are fine. I did take thiamine as mentioned above and strong vitamin B for a few years.

Well done everyone! I'm still going, I'm following the Allen Carr Easyway and it's working quite well, had to repeat a few mantras to myself last night as it's Friday which is a drinking day (even tho every day was a drinking day) but got through it fine.

How amazing to wake up on a Saturday morning refreshed and not hungover and not being ably to remember going to bed - or if husband is still talking to me.

For anyone struggling to get to sleep in the first few days I wanted to just give a tip that helped me. I've never ever been one for audible books or podcasts or anything but I downloaded the Calm app on a free trial and listened to a bedtime story and I was off and slept like a baby!! The Jerome Flynn one was especially good.

Oh my goodness. It’s my 30th birthday and my OH has hired a pop up bar for us for today. I feel so awful and almost tempted so it doesn’t go to waste but then I think the moneys spent anyway and I don’t want to touch alcohol so don’t do it. I feel so sad for my OH he’s really tried to make it good for me but after last weekend I am mentally scarred and sick of myself and said no more. Already the temptation to enjoy myself and try again is looming but I still feel in my gut I don’t need alcohol to have a good time and I’ll only feel disappointed In myself.

Happy birthday @Longjohn33

You have to do what’s right for you. Think how happy you will be tomorrow when you wake and can remember every wonderful second of your birthday

Hi @Longjohn33 - hold your nerve. In an earlier post you said “ I will never drink again and I know for 100% fact that this will be true. This is my day 4.” - think just how bad you must have felt when you posted that. Try eating so much you can’t drink alcohol. You can do this!

Hello eveyone and well done . I had an swful day yesterday , all these emotions that ive bern hiding with drink and i just dont kniw what to do with them, very tearful. I so badly wanted a drink but i bought some no alcohol heineken- only had one can but it did the trick. I has a bath and self care, first time in 4 years ive taken the time to have a proper soak. At my worst i could barely brush my teeth.
Ive been listening to podcasts which is helping and early to bed.
Keep going eveyone weekends nearly over and happy mothers day xxx

A week today for me. My sober app says ive saved £150 on alcohol. Over a month that would be £600. Its more than my mortgage !!

And interstingly, i was so desperate to drink last night, the non alcoholic beer was enough to quieten the chatter in my head. If it had alcohol in i probably woukd have finished the 6 pack. It was a lifesaver

Well done everyone. I stayed strong too and I’m so pleased with myself. I bought some non alcoholic and it did the trick too. Drank it out a wine gosss and it still felt special.

Still here too. Being in control and sticking to my own rules is making me feel empowered. Glad the weekend is coming to end as its been tough. Really tough.