Hop on up it's Dry January thread #2

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

Shiny new thread to carry us onward through January

@OhioOhioOhio etc. I can sympathise. Today would have been my 12th wedding anniversary...if my husband hadn't turned out to be an abusive, gaslighting, lying bellend of gigantic proportions. So whilst I'm glad I'm no longer with him, I'm sad that my life hasn't turned out the way I hoped. And I feel guilty for splitting up my kids home/family every day.

We separated nearly 6 years ago. It does get easier. Be kind to yourself.

Day 36 for me today!!!

Op I could have written almost every word of your post. Weirdly the one thing I don't feel guilty about is being a one parent family. I always have been really. I just so often feel so alone.

I don't feel lonely so much as alone. I realise that if I keep whiling the child free weekends away with prosecco then before I know it ten years will have passed and I'll be sitting here even more fat, bloated and fed up.

Hi all x another Saturday night nearly done !
Not wishing the days away but can't wait for warmer lighter nights xx

Thomasina the embarrassing thing is that I already had a great bath, a take out and eaten some good home made biscuits. Once I start treating myself I just carry on. I think I need to get running again but I just feel too old and fat with a bit of a sore knee. Maybe some yoga would be a start - ans two baths.

And Ohio - I think feeling alone is really hard. Judgemental friends aren’t much fun either. I wish you more weekend fun and the acquisition of some better friends.

What yoga do you like TS?

Am not very good or knowledgeable but I like Adriane on you tube. I like her dog that wanders in and though brightly American she isn’t too wacky and seems a good sort. I do some others too but come back to her. I have hip issues after my last pregnancy and yoga helps. Do you do it?

Morning everyone, still not sure where i am heading re moderation or staying dry, just decided to leave it for at least half and hour from the time i want a drink and actually having one, and fnding that i end up not bothering. Also not sure what i want to drink, dont feel like wine and think wine is a problem for me. Cant be bothered to open a bottle of prosecco, and dont really fancy anthing else. I am taking that as good thing! Hope everyone is doing ok and not struggling too much. I am in awe of many of you, juggling so many things!

Good morning all, how's the weather with you? Windy and snowing here in London.

@Humphriescushion delay is my best tactic too, especially in the early evening. Seedlip and a nice mixer with ice is the current go to or a herbal tea after dinner.

Feeling more in the swing of things now. Wish I'd slept better - DD1 was in charge of the dog last night and he kept barking. Ho him.

Morning. Day 38! Had AF wine for first time last night and was totally underwhelmed. Much preferred my tonic water with ice and lemon. Long may it continue.
Lost 1 measly pound in 2 weeks but better that putting it on I suppose.
Still getting fuzzy headaches.
Mentally feel much better but sometimes I get a sort of 'spaced out' feeling - like everything is going on around me.
So glad I decided to do DJ and the support on these boards has been crucial and so motivating

We've got sleet here at the moment - snow due shortly. DP drank 2/3 of a bottle of wine last night and was absolutely cooked. I didn't really miss it. For me I think proving I don't need alcohol had become my main focus. I feel like such a bloody failure in all other aspects of my life that I don't want to fail in this too. That's not to say I think anyone who does have a drink is a failure - but we're always our own harshest critics aren't we?

@Hepzibar re the 'spaced out' feeling - try looking up disassociation. It happens to me a lot. It's an interesting read.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered Just had a quick look at disassociation. How interesting. I haven't mentioned this before but my mum died on 23rd December after 3 weeks in hospital, it was all very sudden and not expected. I suspect my decision to do DJ had a lot to do with this event, although I didn't think that at the time, I felt on automatic pilot.
It all fits really doesn't it.
Thank you x

Disassociation describes my last 5 years. Wow.

@OhioOhioOhio sorry to hear you’re finding it so hard. I split up nearly 5 years ago, divorced for 3. I find it very painful still and miss my exh a lot. I ended the relationship , now I do wonder if I did the right thing(

I try to concentrate on the now as get upset and overwhelmed thinking of anything past or future !

The kids are a great joy to me and my dp and my dog and being on nature . And it’s a million times less scary if am not drinking !

@PeacheyPeach awwwww re treating yourself - you deserve it !

@Hepzibar I'm so sorry to read about your mum - that must have been an awful shock to you.

Re the disassociation thing. It happens to me a lot, especially when I'm stressed out. It's a lot less scary now I have a 'name' for it and I know it will pass.

Op How do you know that you are experiencing it? Do you just feel spaced out?

It's hard to explain, I just don't feel 100% 'present' like I'm there but I'm not there if that makes sense? It's not quite spaced out either but that's the closest thing to it. It really helps knowing that it's a 'thing' rather than just my oddness.

It does make sense. Like you are watching life rather than being absorbed by it. I totally understand.

Yeah, for the longest time I just felt I was a bit strange, then when I got my diagnosis I started reading up and disassociation - suddenly made sense and made me feel less alone.

I was recently diagnosed with post traumatic stress. It was a huge relief to recognise my ability to cope hadn't gone unnoticed.

I want to leave alcohol behind for a bit to see the space in my life rather than hide from it.

@OhioOhioOhio I have EUPD and C-PTSD so I'm here if you ever want to chat

Thank you op. What's eupd?