Leave alcohol behind and re-learn your life. The freedom thread.

[Drybird2020]

This is thread 6, the Anniversary Edition! Welcome to old hands and newbies! From Day 1 onwards, you’re all invited to share this safe, supportive and encouraging place.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

It might help to have a read through the previous threads;

1 is here, www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020
and

and 5 here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4043965-YES-it-is-SO-worth-it-YES-it-gets-easier-and-YES-we-thought-it-was-impossible-as-well-its-not-A-thread-for-those-embracing-an-alcohol-free-existence?msgid=101761283

You'll find links to the others in there somewhere.

The 31st December is my Soberversary. I'm 2 stone lighter, I've taken up running, I'm better off, more present and more patient with my children, and I've found the courage to address some difficult and traumatic parts of my life. And I couldn’t have reached this point without the threads to keep me accountable, and my lovely sober buddies to keep me sane.

Thank you lads I am BASKING in it. I hope I'm not tempting fate but it is just about starting to feel a bit better. The temptations fluctuate but they do seem to be getting a bit less.

I love these threads  thank you @Drybird2020
I was sober for a few weeks then had two weeks off work for Xmas and have pretty much had a drink or two every evening. It won't surprise you to hear that I feel fat, sluggish, look puffy, feel more anxious and a bit low. I am really looking forward to dry Jan as for some reason I just don't even consider drinking then. I really hate the effect alcohol has on me but I'm so easily influenced by others and the media (see my current thread in AIBU!). I find it really difficult to imagine not drinking in the holidays even though I know that I would enjoy them sober. Our drinking culture is so entrenched and I'm so sucked it by it.

Hi everyone..i am 1 week today! Feeling better everyday and my self esteem is rising..best decision i ever made and realised i need complete abstinence to stay sane. Happy New Year 🎉

Congratulations on a year sober! @Drybird2020. That’s truly wonderful news .

I pop in to these threads occasionally, but am a serial name changer on MN, so sorry I’m not recognisable.

I’m 8 & a half months sober. One of the best things I’ve ever done, without a doubt!
1.5 stones lighter, sleep better, my depression has pretty much disappeared, more energy, I’ve started writing again (haven’t for years), have so much more patience and fun with my DC, am starting to tackle issues in my life I just couldn’t face when I was drinking (debt, health etc)....it’s affected every area of my life positively and I wish I’d done this years ago!

My first sober Christmas in my adult life was bloody brilliant, too, despite all the shit going on in the world. I didn’t miss alcohol at all, which was unthinkable for me previously. It been so lovely to enjoy each day of the festive season present, calm and genuinely happy.

It is SO worth it, if you’re thinking about giving sobriety a good, peeps. I couldn’t even imagine how much better my life would be without drink.

Excuse typos 😬

Thanks for the post lastchanceballoon, we really appreciate the motivation here from those further down the road.

Congratulations @Drybird2020 on making a year.

What an achievement, esp this year. We are free, free, free. A huge bunch of for you.

Oh, and regarding getting my kid out for a walk - you'd think I'd infringed on his human rights at the mere suggestion of some fresh air...I actually bought him a cheap fit bit, so now we're in a daily steps competition....might do the trick with your malingerers?

Ah it’s so inspiring hearing all the positive stories and thanks for making me welcome. Hopefully this time next year I’ll be posting my own success story to help other newbies on their journey. For me, no wine last night, and despite sleeping really badly and having the kids all day, I don’t even feel like anything to drink tonight. Eating chips (air fryer though so healthy?!) instead...hoping that the lack of alcohol calories will cancel out the carbs...

Drybird 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 A whole year -that’s amazing! A huge celebration for you!

Hanginover you are doing great. I’m a month behind you and I too am finding temptations fluctuate but keeping determined. Bask away!

Lastchance glad you had such a lovely AF free Christmas. It was my first for 32 years! It’s great you are happier, healthier & having more fun with DC

Wilderness I hope they have a speedy recovery & your test is negative. Must be such a worry!

Horlicks I replaced the sugar I was missing from wine with fistfuls of whatever I could find! It did ease off a bit but has got slightly out of hand over Christmas but too many cakes & biscuits in the short term is better than too many glasses!

Sorry to those struggling with younger DC, it must be really difficult with the cold, dark days with everything shut. I’m in the enviable (?) position of having a teen who never wants to leave their bedroom or interact with us in any way. I can’t imagine how I would have coped if this had happened when my v active DC was small, I really feel for you all.

Hello to everyone new, I’m still trying to get my head around everyone who’s been on here for months but will pop on more to try and keep up.

Well done @Hangingover, you've smashed it. Glad it's getting easier for you.

I'm sure this thread will get even busier in the coming weeks. I joined after completing Dry January and deciding I didn't need alcohol at all in my life. It's a useful reminder to read up on the experiences of the newly sober as well to see the place that they are coming from with the hangovers and the gnawing anxiety and constantly weighing up on when to have the next drink.

Thanks for asking how I'll be celebrating a year's sobriety @Teetotallyimperfect. The plan is to take our reluctant kids out for a walk tomorrow with their SIL's family. We spent last NYE's with them, where I spent the evening trying to watch what I was drinking, then drinking far too much far too quickly, barely seeing in the bells and feeling rough all of the next day. How times have changed!

I'm sure this thread will get even busier in the coming weeks. I joined after completing Dry January and deciding I didn't need alcohol at all in my life. It's a useful reminder to read up on the experiences of the newly sober as well to see the place that they are coming from with the hangovers and the gnawing anxiety and constantly weighing up on when to have the next drink.

I totally agree, @ulysses. There's real value to having a mix of people at different stages of the journey. The newly sober bring fresh insights and their own perspectives, which helps those who've been at it longer, and those who are further on get the opportunity to pass on the help and support we got from others at the start.

Congratulations on your year 🎉💐🎊

This time a year ago I was waking up with my last hangover ever! I'm so glad an relieved to have taken control of my life.

Happy 1 year soberversary @Drybird2020 ! I think a few others are celebrating today or tomorrow? Congratulations to everyone who has made it this far you inspire us all!

Wildernesstips Really sorry you’re suffering in your household and glad the boys were a little better last night. I hope you are taking it easy!

Thank you for the inspiring post LastChance I am hopeful that at some point I might start losing weight as a result of stopping. I can relate to starting to feel prepared to tackle other areas and I’m excited to start seeing the fruit of my labour in time.

All good here, slept horribly for some reason so not sure I’ll be staying up to see in the new year but grateful to be seeing it in sober! Still can’t quite believe I’ve made it through a sober Christmas, something I never thought I’d be able to do, let alone enjoy. I feel genuinely optimistic about what 2021 might mean for me in terms of my own growth and happiness.

Happy New Year’s Eve all.

Congratulations to you too @Drybird2020. I feel someone should be anointing you with a tiara and a sash for your achievement . I do often wonder where I would be if I didn't come across this thread in the first place.

I also want to thank you and the other runners on the thread - I achieved my 100K in December runners badge yesterday. I'm a reluctant runner and only set out to do 50K so I'm chuffed that I can add another accolade. I'm planning on trying to get to 10K by the end of January, weather permitting.

Congrats on your 1 year @Drybird2020!!! I hope you are feeling totally awesome today☺️☺️☺️
Will catch up with the rest of the thread later!

12 days in and no more 4am wakings. No cravings or temptations since Xmas day but I’ve not exactly been exposed to the usual parties and gatherings. DH had a single glass of red last night. So he’s definitely being more mindful. He won’t stop but he’s a good moderate drinker anyway.
But these headaches!! I wake up with it and lasts all day. I’m not taking anything for it yet as not sure I should.

Drybird20
Happy 1 year soberversary!! What an amazing achievement! And you did it all while holding this space and encouraging all these other people to do it too. What a massive difference you have made to people's lives by keeping these threads going. Thank you so much. I don't think I would be at almost 5 months without these threads. Or maybe I would have done like ive done before for decent periods of time but I would somewhere in my head be thinking that I had done really well at abstaining for so long that it would do me no harm to have a drink. This thread gave me the motivation and support to say "that's me done with it- it was fun/not fun while it lasted but I choose a different way with alcohol now. And for those just starting - it feels so good. And gets easier.

Well done to all the other folks on here whether you are day 1 or thinking about joining us for day 1 tomorrow. Do it!! The high I get from ticking off a milestone and coming on here to people saying well done is a much better high than I got from booze. And no hangover! No guilt! No shame! No crippling anxiety!
Just clear headed, fresh faced (well as fresh faced as you get at 50) and healthier me.

I turned 50 this year! And i did it dry. And in a pandemic. And it was one of the best birthdays i have ever had. I am doing a meditation in motivation at the moment for weight loss and it keeps asking me to remember a moment when I felt truly happy. And it was that day! My 50th birthday. And what's good is I can remember it all. None if it a blurry haze.

My son always used to call 50 "halfway" due to the longevity of some of my family. I look forward to exploring the second half without alcohol, Lord knows I drank a lifetime's share in the first half. Bring on the next adventure.

Happy New Year when it comes. See you all hangover free tomorrow morning.

Well done on the 1 year @Drybird2020 that is amazing I second what others say about the great support you give on these threads. I just wish I had stuck it out on the threads instead of going back to alcohol as a coping mechanism.

I am going through a really tough time at home the now been like everyone else a pretty hellish year. Have mentioned before about having 5c 4 with ASD, yesterday I came to the heartbreaking decision that I could no longer look after one of them at home and looking like he is going to be going into residential care he has much more severe autism and my dp health isn't good and ds care is too much for us to cope with he is needing specialist one to one care. Probably a big reason for me turning to alcohol to try and block feelings, I am pleased that I haven't had a urge to drink yet but I also know that won't last. I know I need to stay sober for my own mental health as it is in tatters atm. Just had to get my feelings out as really hard to discuss in real life with people with so many emotionally attached. Everybody is backing my decision it's me that is struggling with it the guilt is eating me up, although I do know deep down if it dosent happen I won't be here or well enough to take care of other dc and dp.

Apologies for my long post had to just get it out there 😞

Congratulations on your 1 year milestone @Drybird2020. 🙌🏻
To those just starting out, take it one day at a time. The more time you get under your belt the easier it gets. It is so worth it.
My brother has just told me he wants to ditch the booze in the new year, and I thought he was thinking I was a boring sober type over Christmas! I want to help him, but I know he won’t read the books I have. Thinking about gathering snippets from the books then sending him daily texts to motivate him. Do you think that would be a good idea? He lives alone, so I’m worried he will struggle to stick to it, especially in the first few weeks.

slantedbutenchanted i am so sorry to hear you are having to make that difficult decision. I'm thinking of you. Keep talking on here. I also had (still have really) a very difficult situation ongoing on top of the ongoing crap situation that is going on for everyone. And this thread was a real support in the darkest time.

I think no one would have batted an eyelid if I had had a drink when we were in the heat of the crisis but I am so glad I didn't. It wouldn't have made it any easier. In fact it would have made it a whole lot worse, it would have just added to the chaos It is going to be hard, but it won't be made easier with all the crap that drinking will bring with it.

So I am holding your hand from here my lovely.

Thanks so much @Breathmiller 🥰 yeah me drinking alcohol was just making everything a million times worse. The booze free days that I've done so far have made me think a bit clearer and know that if I don't make various difficult decisions things aren't going to get any better. Sending you hugs as well and sorry to hear your going through hard times the now as well, life's a tough gig at times eh?

So sorry to read that @slantedbutenchanted life is so hard for you and that's a hard decision but one you are clearly making for the good of your child, your whole family and you as the person at the centre ho needs to be well and deserves to be well and coping and should avail of help to do that.

Thanks so much @Cartooner have spoke a bit more and looking like it will be a a weekday placement and home at the weekend so will give us a bit of a chance to recharge our batteries so feeling a bit more hopeful about decision.

@slantedbutenchanted that sounds so so tough. Try to be kind to yourself, you really do deserve it. Hug!

Please can I join you all? There are some very inspirational stories here.
Well done to everyone who is taking their own path to an AF life!

I am on day 1and I will be starting 2021without a hangover! I currently feel sluggish, bloated and unhappy. I was AF for almost 4 months of 2020 but have drunk way too much recently. I am sick of feeling ashamed and anxious about what may have happened that I can't remember. My AF months last year were so much happier. I was energetic, productive and "light" in every sense. I really struggle to understand how and why I was willing to let go of that feeling.
At least I know that I can do this and that the prize of an AF life is fantastic!
Wish me luck!

Welcome freshstart56
When I've ever done dry January I have always found it so much easier when i gave myself a head start. It will be so much easier when you go into the New Year hangover free.
Well done