Leave alcohol behind and re-learn your life. The freedom thread.

[Drybird2020]

This is thread 6, the Anniversary Edition! Welcome to old hands and newbies! From Day 1 onwards, you’re all invited to share this safe, supportive and encouraging place.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

It might help to have a read through the previous threads;

1 is here, www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020
and

and 5 here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4043965-YES-it-is-SO-worth-it-YES-it-gets-easier-and-YES-we-thought-it-was-impossible-as-well-its-not-A-thread-for-those-embracing-an-alcohol-free-existence?msgid=101761283

You'll find links to the others in there somewhere.

The 31st December is my Soberversary. I'm 2 stone lighter, I've taken up running, I'm better off, more present and more patient with my children, and I've found the courage to address some difficult and traumatic parts of my life. And I couldn’t have reached this point without the threads to keep me accountable, and my lovely sober buddies to keep me sane.

@Thermalpants not to sure if your brother would be interested in the free ‘alcohol experiment’. I started it around 4 days ago. It’s American but actually quite good. They send you an email each day with a link to a video - often an interview with a psychologist talking about cravings etc. It’s fir 30 days & no push to stop forever but to ‘experiment’ with our beliefs around drinking etc. I’ve found it very informative. It’s great that it’s free!!
@slantedbutenchanted jeez that’s tough for you! Like you say youve a lot to consider. Well done making such a massive decision!! Sending love & a big squeeze! It may not be the right time to quit alcohol but if it is, we can all help you! One day at a time. Just keep posting.

@slantedbutenchanted wow that is a tough decision but you must know in your heart that it is the right one for you and your family.

@Drybird2020 bloody amazing achievement, well done.

My Covid test was negative, so now being extra careful to distance around the two positives.

I just tipped a third of a bottle of leftover Buck’s Fizz down the drain because I was thinking, it’s just 4%. Well it’s gone now! Instead I have a posh bottle of sparkling juice from M&S.

Happy Sober New Year!

Just popping in to say Congratulations to @Drybird2020 on your dry year, what a way to finish 2020! Thank you for this brilliant series of threads.

Congratulations to everyone whether day 1 or day eleventymany. I am so happy and excited to be planning out my Jan 1st and knowing that I won't be hung over. This place gave me so much confidence and encouragement even just from lurking.

Thank you for all the congratulations on my day 50! Still can't quite believe it.

Happy dry new happy new year everyone!

@slantedbutenchanted, apologies my message crossed over yours earlier. Takes me ages to put together a message. Sorry to hear you’re having a tough time. Wishing you all the best for 2021.

Thanks @Stayingvigilant, I will suggest it to my brother. That sounds better than me fudging a message! Less cringey for him too!

Off now to crack open the Shloer. Hope everyone has a great AF evening. Bye bye 2020!

Thank you so much for all your kindness 🥰 and also welcome @FreshStart56 keep on posting that's what I am intending to do to keep myself on track with my sobriety.

Wishing you all a happy blessed 2021 when it comes everyone.

Happy New Year to you all!

Well done on your milestone @Hangingover and to @Drybird2020 on your soberversary. Legends!

@Ulysses, that sounds like a great way to celebrate.

@slantedbutenchanted thinking of you.

Wishing all of you the best for 2021 And a hangover free NYD...no better way to start a new year.

Ahh well done wilderness better down the drain it’s still 4%. Interesting how we try to justify stuff. I almost had a swig of proper fizz that DH opened as the nosecco was shared between me & the kids so went rather rapidly. He said his was quite apple-y and I almost tried it. And again when he’d left the kitchen & there was some in his bottle and none in ours, I did consider a sneaky swig. It’s about being naughty I think, rather than actually fancying it. I like sneaking baileys into coffee but not letting on. I’m not deceitful or sneaky in any other way at all so I’ve no idea why I do this. Did this!! Past tense. I opened another nosecco instead.
Happy New Year everyone! And our head starts into dry January!!

Happy New Year everybody! Wonderful to be starting the year hangover free and almost four months sober!

Welcome @FreshStart56 I hope you’re enjoying the hangover free start to the year.

Sorry to hear about what you have been going through @slantedbutenchanted that sounds incredibly tough. Definitely best to be facing it with a clear sober head. Sending .

Congratulations again to those celebrating milestones and soberversaries and special thanks to @Drybird2020 for the inspiration and support you give to all of us!

Thank you for the welcome everyone.
I am indeed enjoying being hangover free this morning! Feeling unreasonably proud of myself!

I would appreciate any tips on sleeping whilst I readjust though. I tossed and turned a lot last night - not helped by my DH's wine induced snoring.

Happy New Year to you all!

6 days for me. Really realising now what terrible shape I’ve got into. Turned into an unmotivated lazy lump in the last few months using alcohol to cope with a very stressful job and all the COVID restrictions. I did 70 days in the first lockdown but as it dragged on lost a bit of hope and complacency started. Xmas day was my last drink and I felt sad and weepy when I’m usually fairly cheerful at the time (although always anxious and regretful the next day). I just thought fuck this and I already feel better. Sleep isn’t great but my motivation to get out and do things-walking, seeing people outside (when covid allows) and actually live my life has increased massively. I think I was turning into someone who just came home from work to sit on the sofa and drink feeling tired and exhausted. The irony is that my energy has already increased. Good luck to all starting today and to those with plenty of days under their belts. Hearing stories about AF life making such a positive impact is very motivating.

Welcome to 2021 everyone! I've done a year of being sober and it feels great. I spent NYE having a couple of ginger beers and having a good giggle with my family and turning in at 12.30.

Well done @FreshStart56. Hopefully you'll get a good run of sleep soon. I've had bouts of insomnia in this past year - not alcohol related at all obviously - and I've resorted to OTC Nytol for a spell. I think people are wary of becoming reliant on them though but it worked for me, though it sounds like its an early days thing for you and good sleep will come itself. I also wear silicone earplugs to muffle sounds from DH.

Saying that I've probably had more uninterrupted sleep this year than since I was a baby. One of the many perks of being AF. That and a sharp elbow in the back for snoring!

Well done to you too @Furble snd sending you strength and @Stayingvigilant.

Amazing work on getting through 2020 to all of you. All the best for a sober 2021.

I know that feeling about motivation too @Badmuthachuffa. Not having to deal with hangovers and the general grogginess alcohol brings has given me back a lot of energy. Saying that I do need to work on it at this time of year with taking myself out for a walk or run and ensuring I take my vitamins.

I'm going to get a SAD lamp. I'm very tired in the evenings but then again I am a fairly early riser and get my stuff done in the morning.

Happy New Year everyone!
And happy hangover free 1st of January! Relish in these non headaches. No worries about what you did or said last night. No feeling sick. No beer fear. No hangxiety.

I've done Dry January a good few times over the last 6 (?) years or so and latterly always started before Hogmany.

But this year feels different. Its not a struggle and it feels good the thought of a whole brilliant year ahead of me feeling good about myself. Being AF is not just for January - its for life.

Hi,

May I join? What a lovely bunch you are.

NC but have been following the thread for a good while. Fantastic to read all your positive and inspirational posts. I can't wait to get started again.

I'm a mum of 5 children and due to start my nursing degree later this year. Been drinking far too much and too frequently. I I managed about 60 days in the 1st lockdown before getting complacent and thinking I could moderate (doesn't work - soon went back to nightly wine!).

I managed another 50 or so days in September, but again it seems like as soon as I feel alcohol isn't a 'feature' in my life or thoughts anymore, I decide to give it another go.

I do think it's true what they say about 'falling down' being the thing that can build your muscles when you get back up. Both times I've gone back to the booze this year have only served to reaffirm to me how it adds nothing at all to my life, and takes so much.

I can't wait to get back to the normal me, through sobriety. Sick of the poor sleep, the anxiety, the calories, the cost!

Day 1 😊

@Badmuthachuffa. I'm day 32 and sleep has been a big problem for me with associated headaches in the morning. There have been times when I have thought that I may as well get back on my wine and I have been very tempted. I had a few prescribed sleeping tablets left from a previous occasion which helped but as soon as they ran out I was back to square 1. My sleep pattern is now improving. I avoided napping in the day (I don't have children at home now) and go to bed shattered. I know we are all different but in the end it was cold turkey for me and it has worked but it took over 3 weeks for me. Hope this helps. Maybe Nytol would help? It works for some -- also Piriton (anti-histamine) which can be bought over the pharmacy counter .

Congrats on your year @Ulysses!!
@Thermalpants another idea for your brother if he won’t read the quit lit - there’s an hour long podcast by two aussie blokes who summarise Allen Carr’s quitting drinking book. They do a decent job. I’ll try and find the link.

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/what-you-will-learn/id1125635053?i=1000427079136
These guys summarise tons of books btw but I’ve not listened to any of their others.

Happy new year everyone!!

Welcomemarenghisdarkplace
I think what you say is so right. It takes a few times to fall back off to really let ot sink in that moderation isn't available to everyone. And probably a lot less people than admit it too.

I'm excited for your day 1 for you. Well done.

Thanks @Stayingvigilant. I will send him the link. Happy New Year to you all.

Happy new year everyone! And hello to lots of new faces.

It's SUCH a great feeling waking up on NYD without a hangover. I can't quite believe I've managed a Christmas and NY alcohol free but I am so glad I have.

I hope you all have lovely clear headed days and long may they continue into 2021.

@marenghisdarkplace welcome. You sound like me. Lots of kids busy life and just too many gains from being alcohol free to try moderate again and lose the wonderful flow. With study ahead you are laying a great foundation for your future mega busy self, you won't regret it.

I'm day 61 now. I did 5 months of 2020 alcohol free and same for 2019. I'm done with it now and had no major issues with it bar the thinking space it took up which was ridiculous and feeling much more crap after drinking in my 40s.

I don't feel particularly wonderful now, my kids are driving me mad and my energy crap this week but at least I know it's not from alcohol. I actually think sugar is my issue now!

cartooner yes to the sugar issue. I have said to dh that I feel I have had a sugar hangover the last week as I have eaten more of it over Christmas. But now that I feel I have a good hold on the alcohol bit of my life (whilst still staying vigilant of course) its time for me to address the food aspect of my life. I have started the Paul McKenna weightloss app and book to help me stop dieting and feel better around food. I don't feel I could attempt that without having dealt with the alcohol first. It has so many parallels for me.

Thanks ulysses I’ve just been for a walk whereas I’d usually be written off New Year’s Day so that’s a bonus. And congratulations on your year anniversary. That’s absolutely amazing! horlicks I think work stress is playing a part in my poor sleep so will see if it improves as I have a week off. I’m getting to sleep ok but wake up in the early hours (but without the dry mouth snd headache that comes with drinking). Will see how I go but am not averse to a bit of Piriton should the need arise.

Happy 2021 everyone! I hope the door hit 2020 nice and hard on the way out.

Thanks for the congratulations and kind words, they mean more to me than I can say. This really has been my safe place for the last year.

@slantedbutenchanted I'm sorry you've been having such a painful time. Is it any easier now that you have made the decision? I can't remember if I told you that I teach autistic kids -I absolutely adore them and can't wait to see them next week. People who work with kids with additional needs usually feel the same way about them as I do. Maybe it will help to hear this.

I'm making resolutions about reducing sugar consumption and caffeine intake. Any tips?

@Horlicks4me I had weeks of headaches at the start. I put it down to the detox effect and took painkillers when it was really bad. It did improve. Are you drinking tons of water and taking all your supplements?

Off out now to enjoy the chilly sunshine and let the kids run free. Have a wonderful, hangover free NYD, all!