Leave alcohol behind and re-learn your life. The freedom thread.

[Drybird2020]

This is thread 6, the Anniversary Edition! Welcome to old hands and newbies! From Day 1 onwards, you’re all invited to share this safe, supportive and encouraging place.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

It might help to have a read through the previous threads;

1 is here, www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020
and

and 5 here;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4043965-YES-it-is-SO-worth-it-YES-it-gets-easier-and-YES-we-thought-it-was-impossible-as-well-its-not-A-thread-for-those-embracing-an-alcohol-free-existence?msgid=101761283

You'll find links to the others in there somewhere.

The 31st December is my Soberversary. I'm 2 stone lighter, I've taken up running, I'm better off, more present and more patient with my children, and I've found the courage to address some difficult and traumatic parts of my life. And I couldn’t have reached this point without the threads to keep me accountable, and my lovely sober buddies to keep me sane.

Happy one year @Drybird2020 I'm in awe! What a great thread you've created

Thanks @Drybird2020 I can remember in previous threads you had said you worked with Autistic children and yeah that does help. I was up until 3am worrying and going through it all, every scenario going through my mind actually felt as if I had a hangover this morning was that tired lol!! A wee bit of background also being I say dc but he isn't actually my biological child this doesn't make the decision any easier but with regards to the help in getting the right place for him it's easier as he is a looked after child. Perfect scenario being we will have him at the weekend,

I'm feeling a bit brighter today than I have all week, hope everyone has a lovely New Year's Day. Mines is going to include food, films and a walk, the healthy eating will be starting another day.

@Drybird2020 Congratulations on your full year sober! I hope I can say the same next year.
Re Vitamins I take Vitamin B strong, Vit. C and Vit D. I did think I might buy Zinc can you recommend anything else to what I'm taking? I'm very careful and work hard to drink 2 litres a day (I manage MOST days).
I'm open to any suggestions !
My headaches are improving and will take 1 dose of Ibuprofen and/ or Paracetamol daily with good effect.

I'm making resolutions about reducing sugar consumption and caffeine intake. Any tips?

Me and DP have been using half decaf half caf in the coffee pot in the mornings now, it's working great. Sugar I have no advice except try to stick to dark chocolate and don't look to left or right when you go down the biscuit aisle (even I have to do this and am vegan so most biccies out of bounds.... The bastard Jammy Dodgers and Oreos seem to always be on special).

Anyone else REVELING in their hangover free state today??

Anyone else REVELING in their hangover free state today??

Absolutely!! I could almost be tipping into a touch of smug
Yoga, brunch with veggies and a walk. Now a movie. All good here.

Happy New Year team!!!

I had an incredible cold water swim yesterday, and this morning (first hangover free New Year’s Day in 20 years!!!) I went for a run and totally smashed my PB😱😱😱

I cannot believe how good I feel today, I feel really light and happy and carefree. It probably won’t last but I’m so grateful for this feeling, I’m clinging onto it...!

bunnies what a fantastic update. So glad you feel so good.
I did some yoga and had a walk and now making a nice dinner. I also feel really light and positive today. Long may it last

Happy new year everybody! I've not checked into the new thread yet until now- was on the last one briefly.
I am at 6 months today!! I didn't think it would be for a few days yet but I've just checked the app.
My DH has been in hospital this week and has a long road to recovery, but thankfully I haven't thought about adding drink into the mix of that- this time last year I would have had a drink in hand at the time of day (mid afternoon) he had taken ill and would have been no use.

100percentme happy 6 months! That's fantastic

So sorry to hear that your dh has been ill though. I wish him as quick a recovery as possible

Well done on the 6 months @100PercentMe that's amazing!! Hope your husband had a speedy recovery also 🥰

@100PercentMe congratulations on your 6 months! It’s so inspiring to hear all the success stories!

@slantedbutenchanted I can’t imagine how hard that decision must have been, I have so much respect for anyone with children with additional needs and I’m sure you’re making the right choice for your child

Hello to all the other newbies! It feels good to be sober, but it’s hard too. Husband offered me a glass of red after a shitty day at work yesterday - didn’t accept it, didn’t even want it, but then spent the whole evening just desperately craving the slight numbness that a glass would bring. Not worth it though - I am 4 days free and sleeping so much better, and I look better - less puffy faced. The constant background knot of anxiety I am hoping will just gradually reduce once it realises I’m not feeding it with wine anymore. Trying to keep busy and distracted which is easy until the evenings. Also having headaches - partly because I’ve been trying to reduce caffeine as well, had got into a situation of lots of coffee to wake me up and then booze to send me to sleep. I’m taking paracetamol abs drinking loads of water.

Happy New Year everyone and well done for being AF into 2021.

I second everyone's lovely comments about @Drybird2020 who started these threads and who has been a constant support to everyone throughout. I've been here from the start and in the early days would check in several times a day but this became less and less as time went on thank you @Drybird2020 for your energy and support to everyone.

Just a though about caffeine, in February 2018 I went to India on a yoga retreat - I know I know - it was a post divorce present to myself! The 10 days were vegetarian, no caffeine, no alcohol. For the first 2-3 days I could barely lift my head off the pillow I had such a bad head, it was awful. By the end these had gone and I was having such lovely sleeps - falling asleep every time I lay down for 5 minutes! I haven't had caffeine since - I have decaf coffee (nespresso or instant) sometimes in the morning and have herbal teas (pukka's nighttime and vanilla chai are delicious) later on. I've tried decaf tea - it's alright but not my fave. Giving up caffeine was a thousand times easier than giving up booze. Why not just try giving it up altogether and see how you feel?

I started 2021 moving raised beds about in my garden and a lovely little robin kept bobbing about keeping me company all afternoon. What a contrast to being hungover on the sofa!

In some ways 2020 has been a total shit show but it's also been one of the best years of my life. I can remember all of it for a start! I'm really enjoying thinking about the year ahead - forgetting the usual routine of planning holidays, gigs, parties and thinking more about the small things. Even if we spend most of it in lockdown, if we're booze free then we're smashing it aren't we!!

Hello @aprilfoolsbaby! I relate to this so much:

In some ways 2020 has been a total shit show but it's also been one of the best years of my life. I can remember all of it for a start!

It’s been an incredibly tough year, but it wasn’t all bad for me. I got a really cool new job, my running massively improved and there was a lot of swimming! Plus 8 months of no booze!!!😱😱😱

@100PercentMe I’m so sorry about your husband, that sounds really full on. Massive congrats on your 6 months though, it’s such a huge milestone!

I've not been able to read through the whole thread yet but
slantedbutenchanted I am thinking about you, I also have a child with additional support needs and can understand the dilemma and heart wrench you are facing.
Flydesk you are doing brilliant. I remember those early days well. You should be so proud of yourself. I had that desire for the numbness alcohol would bring- but then what? You'd be back to thinking about drinking all the time? You are nearly at freedom from that thinking, and the knot of anxiety will also reduce and go away. And you will enjoy the feeling of being more present- it's the 'presence' that will actually help you meet any difficulties head on, not the numbness.
Someone on the last thread spoke about

Posted too soon!
Someone on the last thread spoke about playing a video in your mind about wanting and having a drink, and what happens afterwards. I find it helpful now to play that tape for fun, like in a warped celebratory way

I will continue to lurk as usual here. And thank you for the well wishes for my DH, it helps.

Congratulations on 6 months @100PercentMe that’s an incredible achievement, I can’t wait to join you there! I’m sorry to hear about your DH, sending you strength.

Welcome to those joining! You’re in the right place.

Loved all of the happy, sober New Years updates. It was interesting hearing other friends and families (with kids) New Year’s Day stories yesterday, so many people feeling just horrible and having to look after small kids. I didn’t mention what we were up to as I didn’t want to sound like a smug annoyance but we had a trip to the park to play with our remote controlled car (and I ran) followed by a lovely read in the bath and then painting with the boys making thank you cards and a lovely home cooked dinner. It was a lovely day! I’m also excited to spend a whole year sober and having done Christmas I now have more confidence I can tackle other big events AF. Have a lovely day all!

My DH had one beer NYE. Im a good influence now. We don't go mad NYE anyway but hearing about hangovers people got from sitting in front of the TV at home, no thanks! Such a waste.

Joining.

Hi everyone... I haven't yet RTFT. I'm on day 5 of sobriety.

The lockdown(s) has only highlighted my over reliance of booze. I'm looking for an alternative to sooth myself with. Any ideas? Thanks

Hey @SecretsofMine, well done on Day 5!!!

I have replaced booze with some of the following:

• running
• swimming
• Diet Coke and really nice coffee from a fancy coffee machine I bought myself with money saved from booze
• nice herbal teas
• long baths with audiobooks

I’m 8 months in and feel soooooooo much better than before. So much better. I’m sure others will list some of their replacements.

I’m healthier, calmer, fitter and happier than before. Good luck to you!

Hi I need help and don’t know where to start? Any programmes I can follow? It started when I separated and got worse with lockdown. I’m a single parent abs it’s once my kids are in bed i am drinking too
Much. Please advise? I’m generally strong willed and have up a heavy smoking habit in my 30s.

Gave up.

I
Already exercise daily. It’s late in the evening to wind down that is the problem for me.

Hello everyone, please can I join? I’ve had a few bouts of being af, the longest (that wasn’t due to pregnancy) was 6 months. I can’t remember why I started drinking again but I so wish I hadn’t as I’d felt amazing and totally had my sh*t together. My fiancé told me yesterday he’s worried I’m using alcohol as a bit of a crutch and if he’s vocalised his concern then I know I need to take action. I ‘usually’ only drink at the weekends but have gradually progressed from one glass of wine every few days to two most days over Christmas. I also need 2021 to be the year I work on my eating disorder and alcohol makes this incredible difficult as although I have the physical side under control (no longer starve or binge and eat healthily most of the time) I’m struggling with negative thoughts about my body and weight and I know alcohol doesn’t help this at all. Fortunately I am currently receiving therapy but have found the mental side of everything exhausting. I am under no illusion and know my increase in alcohol consumption is linked to this. I have a beautiful and clever little girl that I’m determined to be a good role model for so here I am, day 1

Welcome @LilyLolo81 I’m only day 7 myself but am feeling good so far. There is a lot of good advice on here and I like the accountability that posting brings. There are definitely some areas I think will take time to improve but a quick win is my motivation to do things/be more active as soon as I stopped drinking again was noticeable!