Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Alcohol support

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Day 1 for anyone just starting out

989 replies

Justdonthavethefirstone · 02/08/2020 13:58

Hi all. This is my day 1. I have joined some other threads for support but thought I would start a new one for anyone just starting out on this journey. I have a drink problem. It got worse over lockdown.i have had day 1 before and failed but this time I am starting off prepared. I have books to read. I have joined Mumsnet for support and have told my family and friends.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
joysmoy · 20/09/2020 17:35

Well done orchid that's amazing!

writingsonthewall · 20/09/2020 20:31

Oh @Ynwa1234 you and your funny bone! Bloody kids. Hope the pain went off and the weekend improved some!

I just read that thread @OrchidJewel , it is good to read some inspirational ones. I still can't ever imagine being on, like, 200 days though so who knows how committed I am to all this 😑
How was your bike ride 😂 did you read anything positive at all in the paper?! All this talk of a fecking "circuit breaker" is doing my head in. Yeah good q for @Rupertpenrysmistress actually that is ymwa, is it getting busy at work or is there any rumbles of panic?

Your in law secrets are safe with us, just give them all names and call them friends instead of in laws.

@Newernewist nice to hear from you and glad you're still going. When someone goes quiet for a bit there's always a niggle that they're not ok. Sounds like you're doing great and yay for us nearly at a month 🎉

I've had a busy weekend. Walk with my friend at 7am yesterday morning. She has a friend whose husband is working with Matt Hancock and all that bunch so she was telling me about their arguments over whether to go a circuit break now or wait til half term.

Then running club with another friend, then paddleboard with another friend then drinks and dinner at yet another friends house with 2 others. This makes me sound as it i have a million friends!! I really don't, it was a strangle busy day, I normally go whole weekends without seeing anyone much. Today we went for a family run and then went for a family walk, poor kids were having a good moan about their achy legs after that! Then have cleaned the house this avo and made the children tacos! I'm now absolutely knackered.

After my Friday night struggle I have been ok without booze though. I took a bottle of friexenet 0.0% to my friends and drank the whole thing. None of them even noticed it was AF as they we're drinking cider and gin. It was only when I got up to leave and got my car keys out my bag they looked a bit confused so I had to fess up. It was fine without drinking though, didn't need it at all which is great. Social occasions without booze don't really frighten me now, I think Friday nights at home is harder for me. Also when gigs and festivals start back up I'm not sure how I'll cope with those without drinking. Glastonbury sober would be a challenge.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 20/09/2020 22:10

Welcome to autumn you will be well supported here we have all been where you are and, all are at various stages.

Hi joy so glad you came back I do also worry when people disappear for a while, glad you are on and you know we are all here for you.

Ymna hello your stories keep me entertained,to answer your question yes there is an undercurrent of anxiety at work, covid is creeping back into my trust and on top of that the sick patients I previously spoke about are coming in thick and fast, we are short staffed due to opening extra wards to cope (not covid) work was steady today and the pressure is on to constantly discharge patients. Yes I was re deployed for a bit to ITU!! I really did not enjoy it, not my area of expertise added to FFP3 masks and fear of catching covid I can't do it again. I really hope if we get a second wave I can stay on my ward.

Hi orchid going strong still you are doing so well. Hi to writing how are you?

I don't really add my days up as I said previously I still don't feel anything about my sobriety, my DH asked me how long it had been yesterday I said I had the last drink on 26th July, he asked if I thought then I could go this long, I felt a bit embarrassed a bit like an alcoholic, I know some people don't mind being called alcoholic but my medical mind sees that as something you can't recover from. Yes I had a drink problem, probably still do but it's controlled through sobriety 😞.

I really hope I have not missed anyone I still can't figure out how to tag people or whatever, apologies if I have.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 20/09/2020 22:20

newerist I am sorry I missed you, you are clocking up the days, glad your sleep is good now it takes a while doesn't it? My sleep is glorious, and with that in mind best get to bed on for 13 hours tomorrow. Night all.

joysmoy · 20/09/2020 23:28

Need some support guys-me and my husband has just split up. He was messaging another woman. He doesn't love me anymore. I certainly don't feel like a drink or anything as I just feel sick and have all the incentive in the world now as it's just me and my kids here and I need to be strong for them.

OrchidJewel · 21/09/2020 05:20

Oh @joysmoy that is so upsetting, it sounds so cruel and sudden. Do any of your pals/family know? Massive big sober hug here. What a tool. Thank goodness you have your lovely kids with you, you sound so very strong. We are here for virtually support.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 21/09/2020 05:24

I am so sorry Joy you have the right attitude, this is gonna be tough but you sound strong. Now more than ever it's important to stay sober. Horrible man you deserve more. How old are your DC?

OrchidJewel · 21/09/2020 05:34

Welcome @AutumnAlready you wont regret this. Honestly in a few weeks it's the best feeling sober. I too was just hanging around waiting to open the bottle. If I held off I was just thinking about opening a bottle, every day, every night, ridiculous. I feel FREE.

We can all relate to the anxiety, there are many many books as I'm sure you've read about. For me Alcohol lied to me was the best. But others have their favourites. You and joysmoy are at the start. So can build up the days Smile

Hiya @Newernewist absolutely fair play to you. AA seems to be doing the job. As @Rupertpenrysmistress says you have to call it for what it is. I feel.for all healthcare again, you must be nearly sick.at the thoughts of all this again. Yiur energy must be sapped. I meant to say if I had your job I'd be lazy about the exercise too, think you deserve to sit in your hole.

@ymna I think you should write that blog and pass it onto us Smile shout from the rooftops about how good you feel, I am too. @writingsonthewall

Keep posting everyone, we are all going through the same

OrchidJewel · 21/09/2020 05:38

@writingsonthewall dont know what happened my paragraph there! Anyway I know very little about UK politics, I had to google circuit break. I do know who Hancock is though lol. Dublin has that on at the moment. Has NO affect on me but its depressing, and its depressing as pubs and other businesses are gone again for 3 weeks anyway. It just feels so sad this time

Ynwa12345 · 21/09/2020 06:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

joysmoy · 21/09/2020 06:36

Thank you all I feel absolutely wrung out this morning Sad

Ynwa12345 · 21/09/2020 06:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

joysmoy · 21/09/2020 06:46

Thank you ynwa I feel so shaky and sick and on verge of tears again

OrchidJewel · 21/09/2020 06:56

@joysmoy I'd say you do, I was thinking what sort of night would you have had after that. It sounds as if it was a shock. Hope you get out for a walk or coffee with a friend

writingsonthewall · 21/09/2020 07:10

@joysmoy oh no lovely, what a total arsehole. When did you find out? Do you think it's gone further than messaging? Is there any chance you might sort things out?

I feel so much empathy for you. I have been married before and broke up with my ex when my first 2 were only little. It was a very hard time in my lift so anything I can do to support you please just say. Keep talking to us. And don't drink. It won't help. It will make things worse. Lots of love xx

joysmoy · 21/09/2020 08:16

He was messaging throughout lockdown and deleting them. But things were better,he told me the messages had stopped,we were going on dates and sleeping together and then I accidentally found those messages yesterday Sad

joysmoy · 21/09/2020 08:16

Thank you so much for the support I just feel so sickSad

Ynwa12345 · 21/09/2020 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

joysmoy · 21/09/2020 10:54

Yes I know herSadhe says nothing physical has happened but why would he send messages like that?

writingsonthewall · 21/09/2020 12:00

Hmm well mumsnet isn't exactly the place for believing that sort of line from errant husbands but I'd be sceptical about nothing physical happening if they are sending explicit messages.

Stay calm, easier said than done I know. what are the next steps, does he want to split up? Or is he begging for a second (third) chance? Will he move out? Lots of questions, many of which are probs whirring around in your head right now.

joysmoy · 21/09/2020 13:36

He says he doesn't love me anymore so don't think he wants to come back

writingsonthewall · 21/09/2020 14:04

oh lovely Shock you must be so upset. I'm so sorry. But you are worth so much more than this treatment. Has he gone?

joysmoy · 21/09/2020 14:49

Yes he's gone to stay with his sister

Ynwa12345 · 21/09/2020 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

joysmoy · 21/09/2020 15:14

Thank you ynwa. Oh I'm absolutely determined with the drinking. I feel to ill atm anyway but I wouldn't want to sit crying into a glass of wine. I need to be there for my lovely children.