Day 1 for anyone just starting out

[Justdonthavethefirstone]

Hi all. This is my day 1. I have joined some other threads for support but thought I would start a new one for anyone just starting out on this journey. I have a drink problem. It got worse over lockdown.i have had day 1 before and failed but this time I am starting off prepared. I have books to read. I have joined Mumsnet for support and have told my family and friends.

Noel don't beat yourself up that's the nature of the beast. We have all been there. I think these experiences teach us something. It's such a bloody battle. I am doing ok but try not to give it to much headspace I feel strong at the moment but know that can change in a second. I don't take my sobriety for granted. Pick yourself up and move on, it could have been worse.

Thank you for the wise words Rupert you have made me smile when I've been pretty miserable all day.

Thank you ynwa you are doing amazingly well!

Oooh I should start Christmas shopping @OrchidJewel, I always leave it soo late and then panic buy. Need to be organised this year.

The jar and reading idea is a good one, I need to do something like that. Especially now they're back at school and both the olders are doing Shakespeare etc.

Glad you're feeling better @hazelnutmochi, I tried IF once but I just couldn't do it. I'm too greedy!! And I need coffee as soon as I wake (and I like it with lots of milk). I was going to be good today but it's kind of gone to pot already. I'm home alone (kids are all at school yay!!) and working at the kitchen table and just keep picking.

Hope sleep gets better very soon @Newernewist Lack of sleep is so hard to deal with. My AF drinks I like so far are: Ginger beer, Bottlegreen ginger and lemongrass cordial, Hot ribena (!), Seedlip and tonic, Stavi and Ray fake prosecco, Real Kombucha royal flush, I can tolerate Nosecco. Other than that it's just v cold orange cordial with ice for me, and coffee in the mornings obviously.

@Rupertpenrysmistress the christmas tree only counts if it was March at the time! I knew there was a nurse amongst us - sounds like super hard work this year. It is awful thinking of the people that have been left with their non-Covid illnesses and got worse because they couldn't get treatment. Not good at all. My H had a cancerous lump at the start of lockdown and I think we were so lucky as he was still seen and operated on very quickly. No further treatment required thankfully but just grateful he was sorted out without delay. Feel so awful for the people that didn't get treatment and were left to worry. What are you reading? I've just finished the Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides, which was good. I've also recently read The Hanging Club (Tony Parsons), The seventh victim (Michael Wood), The mistake (KL Slater), Liar (KL Slater), The passengers (John Marrs) which were all good.

@noel66 don't be cross with yourself. It was a good test and it's great that you didn't need it and it wasn't as good as you thought it would be. We're all just muddling through and finding out what the future looks like at the moment, don't be hard on yourself.

@Ynwa1234 all your jobs sound more meaningful than mine, and stressful. Although mine is super stressful, I work in finance but it's just numbers on a bit of paper at the end of the day, nobody is going to get hurt or die if I mess up, it's just corporate lift with the pressure that comes with. I'm not really helping anyone though and kind of wish I'd gone into a career where I could help people more. I can't make peas in a pan either - I'm useless. I do the occassional roast but it is always sub-par!

@OrchidJewel hope your trainee is more "with it" today!.

In other news - Love Island USA starts screening in the UK tonight at 9pm. Am I alone in this guilty pleasure or is anyone in? I only started watching it last year so I could join in with the chats at work but strangely addictive so this one is going to have to replace the UK one not being on this year.

Thanks writingsI'm just going to learn from it and move on.

@Ynwa1234 hmm I don't feel like mine is! I crunch numbers and have to calculate overpaid salespeoples wages, they can be pretty rude and unpleasant to deal with too!

Your post made me think though, I'm "encouraging" my children to pay attention to science just because I feel like that is where interesting jobs are. But I do also try and let them explore what they're interested in. I guess at least for now science is compulsory so we'll see how they feel after GCSEs.

I guess with your job, like mine, you get used to a certain salary as well so as nice as retraining sounds also need to be realistic over what money is needed to stay afloat.

Laughing at skimming over your posts!! Love a good ramble. Are your teeth ok at the moment? I still keep getting twinges and have got to go back for the second part of that bloody root canal in a couple of weeks argghh. Hate it.

Red wine on a MONDAY night! That's decadence for you. I always tried to avoid Monday at least but that approach did make Monday's super depressing. Even though work has been rather hellish today i don't feel too bad. 1 step at a time. Slowly. Very very slowly.

Morning
@Newernewist that is brilliant, I had thought of AA myself, more for meeting like minded people. I'm ok at the moment but I have it at the back of my mind. It's great when things like skin improve, we need something positive to come out of this to keep us going.

@ymna it's always a battle to do the right things by kids. My 7 year old wants a Nintendo switch. iPad on the go all through lockdown. I'm determined to minimise, so they have to read for half an hour say. My 10 year old has dyslexia, so giving her a book is like handing me a pair of runners and telling me to run 5k. She puts in so much effort. If you have girls or any nieces there is a lovely book (hardback) called Friendship Fairies by Lucy Kennedy (shes an Iish presenter) it's for a younger age but really lovely book. Nice present. I worked with people directly for years, had a pain in jaw from smiling. Very happy now to be a grumpy git behind an email!

@Rupertpenrysmistress I see what you mean, that is a hard watch those other patients to, it would be very hard for patients to a family not to feel very bitter. After what you see and deal with every day a glass (or bottle) would be most deserved so its bloody amazing you dont. I have a few sister in law nurses who's brains I pick, they are a ROCK of common sense. Thanks is for the heads up on friendships, my 7 year old has really settled this time, calmer and more mature so hopefully he will get soon. I know I wont be a le to drink again but I do pretend I will at xmas blah blah it I wont. Then I'll say at xmas on my dad's birthday, the I wont. Thats the plan really.

@writingsonthewall oh my goodness writing re your H, so glad it was ok, what a bloody fright. I EAT books on my kindle. I'm a big John Marrs fan. Are you on facebook? If so you should join Rick O'Sheas book club. Great recs (and sometimes a good row )

Hazel I only drink tonic at the moment, I love my glass at 6, it's not sweet. I ha ent gone down AF beer route yet. I might start trying.

@noel66 how are you? Honestly your story I'm sure has us all nodding and going right well thank go it tasted shite

Day 48 here, I think. Not working today, called into office yesterday a new girl being trained by a colleague, I could here her whiny voice asking the same shaggjng questions AGAIN, honestly she this is we are babysitters. I'm having a think a out how to nip this in the bud. Like I say to my kids 'well how do YOU think you can open that box of weetabix'

Nescafe jar didn't work out as sure we have no disposable cash now but I jotted down the amount and got kids 2 Santa presents each and my niece and nephews. 2 weeks time the another 2 etc. Its great to be clear headed, it really really is

I'm doing pretty good thanks orchidglad my glass of wine tasting gross has helped everyone (and me) I've been back on my elderflower or camomile tea last couple of days. My lot are all back to school now so have some peace for now! Hope everyone is doing ok

@Ynwa1234 can I ask what you didnt like about it?
I'm struggling with the religion side of it.
I have absolutely no faith at all, but it's the group thing thats helping me atm

Hope your littlie got on ok for their settling in sesh @Ynwa1234

Another book I thought I must recommend is Nina is not ok by Shappi Khorsandi. It's not a murder/thriller type, but more light hearted with a dark streak to it in the form of booze. It's so good.

No idea whether They've taken the nerve out, they did something and then said I needed another appointment to do more of the same but for longer (!) and then yet another appointment to put the crown on.

@OrchidJewel I've joined Rick O Sheas book club. I love books, I always have one on the go on my audible which I listen to when running/walking or driving and another one on the go on my kindle. Also got to love a FB row! 48 days is literally amazing. That is SO LONG. I'm on day 16 i think. Longest for many years. And you're right it is so good to have a clear head. I haven't noticed any better skin or anything but I do feel less prone to panicking at work so that's good.

@noelle66 glad you're over your little experiment. Onwards and upwards.

@Ynwa1234 mine are minecraft addicts but thank goodness haven't discovered fort nite which I am v grateful for. Would be fab to meet up one day. Maybe we can go for bottomless brunch. 😂 Just kidding!

@Newernewist I did look at AA but don't feel I've got the time for the meetings. Also what the feck do they talk about for 1.5 hours? How often are you going to them? I am super curious about them but don't feel the need right now. Maybe something I'll dabble in if required. Also sounds a bit cultish. I'm not slating it at all btw, whatever works for you is brilliant, as I say I'm curious about it.

I'm ok, another busy day at work. Got a challenge coming up this weekend. We're going to stay with friends a couple of hours away, with 2 other couples (getting in before new restrictions kick in!) and it will be a massively boozy evening. We're getting a takeaway and we've all been told to bring booze. My h hasn't been drinking with me so he says he's not planning to drink either. He is getting into the AF pale ales and craft ales so he can take those, and I'm happy with some fake prosecco or seedlip, but the people will be confused and probs not that thrilled. Which I do understand as if it was me a couple of months ago and one couple showed up and announced they weren't drinking I would have thought they were being boring and also felt judged for drinking. Any idea how to approach? I'd happily not say anything but think it will be tricky as people will be pouring for each other and sharing the fridge etc.

On another note I treated myself to a do it yourself gel nail kit. It was £60 which I figured is an investment given it costs £25 each time at the nail bar. I've just had a go for the first time and they look, and I cannot stress this enough, absolutely shit 😂 I need to figure out how to stop my hands shaking so much when I put the polish on. My hands aren't usually shaky you understand, just when painting my sodding nails.

Oh writing sorry to hear about your gel nails it did make me laugh though.

@Rupertpenrysmistress it wouldn't be so bad if I could easily take them off but gel nails seem to weld themselves to me and require a industrial force to get off! How are you doing?

All good here thanks. Really should get sorted to take my ds to school but cannot be bothered. I have never really had this boost of energy people talk about, I am taking all the recommended vitamins as well. Maybe it's my mindset I need to work on.

I'm still up and down like a bloody yo yo. I have these really bizarre feelings of euphoria one minute and then I'm cross and sad the next. Go figure.

Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit lethargic @Rupertpenrysmistress Maybe you feel better if the sun has shone for you?

I'm in the south east @Ynwa1234 , how about you? Think I've figured @OrchidJewel is in Ireland.

Your night adventures sound annoying! I hate being woken up In the middle of the night, I always start thinking and overthinking and can't get back to sleep. Your house thing sounds stressful, will advise if I possibly can! Nice early night for you. Glad your lo got on well settling in, my youngest is like that, not a backward glance! Which is great for sure (although a little cuddle would be nice!).

Yeah health kick or antibiotics might be the way to go. I'm not worried about wanting to drink strangely, although that may be very different when I'm there.

I've just been to hot yoga 🧘‍♂️ which was really good so I feel relaxed now.

Hi all, I am in South East to. Hot yoga sounds good but I am not in the slightest bit flexible. Ymna glad your DC are doing ok mine are too, I agree about being woken I hate it would almost rather be awake all night than be disturbed. I am sleeping so well but like I said lethargic any ideas? Maybe need to exercise If I can be bothered 😝. Funny thing is mentally I feel great just bloody lazy. When I previously for fit I felt fantastic really need to get back to it.

Sleep well all. Catch up tomorrow.

Morning everybody. Day 52 here. Cant believe it. Congratulations on all your days. All well over the 2 week mark. I had a few bad-ish days, I didnt cave but urge was strong. I think season changes always affect mood, it will.pass, suppose it's the long winter thoughts kicking in.

Yes im in Ireland but I went to Torquay on holidays when I was a kid though we stayed in the apartments at the Victoria and Derwent hotel. It was brand new as my mother got great pleasure in ripping plastic off everything. Great memories, Babacommbe with the toy train place, winning a million teddy bears in a raffle there and clotted cream scones in some beautiful village in Dartmor and we stayed in a b & b on the way down in Exeter, it reminded me of the b & b in one of the Only Fools and Horses hour specials lol. Lovely place. And visiting relatives in Plymouth, my mothers cousins used to foster children so I was in my element. Our aim is to fly one day to Cornwall so some kids and DH can go surfing. When they are a bit older. I'll let meet you there ymna lol

I'm the same re sleep.and not feeling amazing energy and still lethargic. I also have knocked back all the bits recommended. Like you say Rupert it's the exercise, I couldn't be bothered either. I'm going to have to give myself a kick.up the hole and I KNOW I need to before bad weather comes in and we are at home going hmmm what will I do! . But (ymna you can absolutely tell me I'm talking shite and its placebo) my eyesight has improved. I went from squinting and nearly succumbing to glasses to it only dawning on me that I haven't said that in a week or so.

I got a fabulous night light for my 4 year old, it's a star projector type and extremely sturdy and great value. With a timer. He loves it and gets him to bed a bit easier. For Santa stocking I got watches for the boys and young nieces and nephews. No idea about 12 and 14 year olds.

Writing I'm laughing about the nails lol. Youd see that in a comedy. Nice thought for an AF treat though. I am having awful flashbacks about Shakesphere, honestly are they still putting kids through that.

Newer I have thought about AA bit I think I was worried about listening to many many stories and that playing on my mind. I'm using the putting ot to the back of my mind approach (think it was rupert of writing who mentioned that too)

Writing I'm RAGING we dont have the channel for love island USA, I was manic looking for it but addicted to martied at first sight, it's so bad it's good

Anyway great to hear all the news, yeh its friday (PMS as if it makes a difference really, except work of course) off to have a look at that funny book (writing )