Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

Brilliant intro, @Drybird2020, thank you.

Thank you for new thread Drybird2020 and links to old threads, I intend to dip into them daily for support.

4 day’s ✅

I feel well, calm. DH says my skin is looking better. Yesterday evening was flat again but I know it will take a few weeks for the poison to leave my body.

Slept badly again but my children are teenagers so it’s not a big issue in that I am not exhausted with little ones.

Hope everyone has a good Sunday.

Thanks @Drybird2020. Just checking in and aporeciating the links to the old threads. I joined the 2nd one at the end of January and I’m still going strong. It’s nice that there are some familiar faces still here. I’ll always use these threads as a reminder why I need to not drink. Happy Sunday everyone.

I'm joining! I'm on day 4.

Morning all. Consecutive day 75. 131 this year.

Thank you @Drybird2020 for the new thread and for linking the old threads.

Yuk, there are so many mistakes in that opening post! I did it in a rush when I suddenly realised that the old one was full.

Welcome to newbies and a big elbow bump to all the old hands who have been such stalwarts.

I've just updated my stats in the Trydry app and find that I have saved ;

1167 units of alcohol
£1,256
80.8k calories.

Funnily enough, my perpetual £1000 overdraft seems to have evaporated. Funny that... Also I have lost 1.5 stone and this morning I ran 6.5k, another benefit of this thread is the encouragement to run!

Thank you @Drybird2020 for the smart new thread and your stats are amazing :-) Congrats to all who have done such a magnificent job getting here from January, hoping to be one of your number in a few more months.

Looking forward to seeing the other newbies @LittleDonk, @wickelfish and @Mustardpot as we keep on keeping on :-)

Morning and hi everyone.

Thanks for the new thread Drybird.

I meant to say on the previous thread that I did NOT get the pink cloud, and managed to miss out on the 'not'.

Regardless though- even without it life is still way better without alcohol. :) Calmer.

I am about to chivvy my family outdoors for a picnic. No-one is terribly enthused, but two DCs are on roblox / minecraft and DH is ebaying. We have precious little summer so I shall fashion together some treats and do my best to persuade.....

Hi, can I join? I’ve had a problematic relationship with alcohol for a while.

I can go through periods of abstaining during the week but then overdo it at the weekend. It then makes for a very grumpy unproductive weekend.

First part of lockdown and I overdid it everyday. It sent my anxiety off the charts. I’ve given up before and got to about 35 days, felt so much better, so calm, anxiety free. But for some reason I went back to drinking.

So started again at the end of June. I’m on day 22. I’ve read/listened to Annie Grace who I love. Again feeling calm, so much less anxiety.

I’m trying not to focus on “never again” just “not today” and hope that I don’t slip. I do fear that it’s going to have to be “never again” if I want to live without anxiety.

Evening all, from my little tent in Aus!

Welcome, @CortisolandCaffeine. You’ve clearly made a great start already.

Just wanted to drop in and say hi. I've name changed from being in a previous thread on here, I'd stopped counting days a while ago but I totted them up yesterday and was pleased to discover I'm on day 51! Reading posts in this forum really helped.
I was never a heavy drinker but a too-often-hard-day-glass-of-wine drinker. Which sucked away my energy and motivation.

After stopping I didn't have the great sleep everyone told me about - BUT being AF has really helped me to get to the bottom of some minor physical health niggles that although minor (ie not in great pain or anything) have affected my day to day re energy levels. Now I've been able to isolate the symptoms (eg not confusing tiredness/headaches/snoring with alcohol related causes) I've been able to get a diagnosis and treatment and I (finally!) feel loads better! I'm so glad I've done it.

This is my second time AF long term, I quit for almost a year about five years ago (did dry Jan and kept going). It has been SO much harder to quit this time around, I've learned my lesson for not drifting back into it.

Anyone here quit during lockdown? I'm a little anxious about temptations once im back working at the office and back socialising. It's easier to manage when I'm at home all the time, anyone else feel the same?

Please can I join you all.
Today is yet another day 1 for me. It really needs to be my last day 1 though.
I’ve had problems with alcohol for many years and it’s caused me numerous problems. Still am not able to let go.
I’m in last chance saloon with my OH.
I have bizarrely drank far less in lockdown but when I drink, I drink. No off switch, different person appears, regrets, anxiety etc etc etc.
Thanks for reading and I hope this gives me a degree of accountability. Everyone seems really supportive.

Welcome @EffieJeffie!
Do you have a plan for how you're going to tackle it?

Thanks for the new threadn@Drybird2020.
I quit just before the start of lock down. 130 days sober. I am a but nervous of when I eventally go to the pub - but with certain people, others I will be fine and not try and be coerced into drinking ( I wouldnt but don't want the presure)
@CortisolandCaffeine welcome to the thread,sounds like you've made a fab start, one of the things I noticed was my anxiousness has all but disappeared wich I love.
@Hangingover hello to you in your little tent in Aus 😀

@EffieJeffie I'm the same, no off switch. Once I start that's it till blackout.

I mostly only drank 2 nights a week or so, but those 2 nights couple be 2 bottles of wine and half a bottle of whisky, or a whole bottle of gin and 4 beers.

Thanks all for the welcome. I’ll work out how to name check soon!
I have an app for recording dry days. I drank twice in may and loved how the calendar looked!
I’m going to re read the numerous quit lit books I’ve gathered over the years. I have re started running and hopefully that will help. I also think the accountability of this thread will help. Talking to people who “get it”. It can feel a really lonely place trying to battle this.

Today I have the sweats, anxiety, self loathing and some major bridges to build with my family.

Good luck with the running, I've found this time around it's the alternative hobbies that has been key - my repeat day 1s I don't see as failures now, because in between those stop start days I was working out how to live life without booze -a bit like say, going vegetarian and suddenly realising you need to learn to cook a new repertoire of meals to last more than a few days! I've started cycling and that's what I look forward to now instead of drinking on the weekend, and now instead of feeling I'm missing out on drinking, I'd be annoyed if drinking got in the way (there's no way id have the motivation to get going in the morning with even a mild hangover)

@jess3817 it's worrying the old routines will kick in for me. A few weeks ago I had to do a few days in the office and when I got in my car going home I had a sudden thought about going to go buy a bottle from the supermarket on the way. There was a definite association of that environment which gave me a craving and caught me unaware (though I realised that and ignored it). Not looking forward to more of those but I'm hoping a strong run before then will help.

I've been thinking bout lockdown ending and the challenges to my sobriety. I've not had to deal with most of the types of occasions when I might feel pressure or desire to drink. Yesterday I went to my first social event since March, and I did have an internal tussle up to the point where I asked for a soft drink and after that it was fine - better than fine because I didn't have a slump after lunch, sat in the sun without getting a headache or being dehydrated and had energy and patience with the kids when we got home instead of being crochety. In the past I would have carried on drinking into the evening and had a crappy Sunday morning. Today I felt great, cooked the kids a treaty breakfast, and went out for my run.

I'm glad I've had these months of resourcing myself. There will be difficult moments but I'm better placed to handle them.

Thanks for the new thread @Drybird2020

High five back to you in your tent @Hangingover - day 45 for us tomorrow!

I’m trying to see this as a chance to enjoy things I didn’t have the time or energy to before - the thing I’m finding hardest tbh is thinking about all the time I wasted drinking...

I agree about time wasted.

I agree it’s going to be a challenge as lockdown gets eased @Drybird2020. I’ve got two drinking buddies coming round on Friday for the first time in ages. Normally I would be up drinking late with them. I’ve not really told them I wont be drinking. Not sure if I’ll tell them. I’m running early the next day so could use that as a bit of an excuse.

I agree also. I have a good friend who has suggested socially distanced drinks in our garden. i cannot think what to reply yet. I like her, but she will want to drink and i am not sure I can face addressing it.

On another note - I am a person without hobbies. I'd love to hear about everyone's hobbies as i need to do something more for myself.

In the dark long lost days I used to ride horses and loved it. Other than that I like reading, walking my dog and I have started painting cards to keep my hands occupied in the evening. I 'd love some inspiration!

Where I live lockdown ended quite a few weeks ago and if anything the sense of normality returning (to an extent) plus the greater social contact made me feel less anxious and less likely to drink too much. But I'm lucky because my socialising is mainly during the day, walks and coffees, play dates where alcohol is just not even considered.

Its the evening of my day 1 and I've had a good talk with DH. He doesn't think it is necessary to quit completely because I think for him, he can stop after 2 and more easily have days off. He thinks I should be able to drink occasionally on holiday later this month. I know that's not possible for me. But he says he accepts whatever I decide to do.

I've been to an outdoor pool in the sunshine (trigger), had a bbq (trigger) and now I'm watching the sunset (trigger, even though I don't understand why!). I have a herbal tea and I'm feeling calm, relieved even. I don't have to do this to myself anymore.

I'm planning to check in tomorrow. I'm not used to posting about myself, but I really do feel it is helping.