Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

Day 6 nearly done, had a bit of a funny day ferrying a family member to and from different hospitals. Quite a stressy day all told, typically a day like this would have me buying a bottle of wine. But I didn't, I can feel myself wavering though and in the mindset of persuading myself that one bottle a week would be fine! Am very tetchy and thinking about it A LOT!

You are right @Nomorewine77, it wouldn't be fine. Well done for knowing that.

@ElsaCragg that's such a great update! 😊😊😊👍

Has anyone read/listened to You Left Early? My Christ. I've cried so many times and I'm already halfway through. Robert is so much like a former friend of mine who is alcoholic right down to the obsessive rewinding of passages of jazz and forcing people to listen to it. Highly, highly recommend even though it's a really hard listen. It's so beautifully written and the author herself reads the audiobook. I'm never ever drinking again!

Day 267 here, but I'm now at a point where it's just a number. I don't think about drinking at all

This is so reassuring to read; can't wait to be like this.

I went to the pub again last night! I didn't want to but our neighbor came round and asked if we wanted to go for a pint, he's stuck here with not much to do ATM and it was his birthday. I was in the bedroom but heard the conversation. DP shielded me by saying he was on a work call but would come for one of he could between calls (knowing I might not want I go). Neighbor went off and I said to DP we must go because it's his birthday and you can't buy your own birthday pint that's ridiculous. So we went for an AF beer. Was actually ok, til neighbors DF appeared and ordered a glass of red wine. I could smell it and I wanted it SO MUCH. I think red wine is going to be the one I have the most nostalgia for! Still... another pub visit survived!

Great update @ElsaCragg!
And I so relate to this low level anxiety, which I thought was “just my life” (to be fair my life is a bit mental😂), but actually, it was mostly booze (or at least not helped by booze!).

Day 95 for me... Nearly Day 100 for me, can’t wait! I tell myself often that if I really want a drink, I can have it. I just don’t want one😊

Good morning everyone! Day 7 here and I’ve just had the best nights sleep I’ve had in a long time. Feeling really refreshed and looking forward to a nice day. Off to invest in some Everleaf later as a Friday treat. Hope you all have a good one too!

Those updates are so encouraging for those of us still at the early days - thanks @ElsaCragg and @BunniesBunniesBunnies and congrats to you both. So nice to get postcards from the sunlit uplands to spur us on :-)

Day 14 here for me - we are twins @Ifnotnowthenwhen5! Only problem I have sleeping is DH snoring but earplugs are helping. Thanks for the recommendation @Hangingover, I shall look out for it. Happy Friday all, and roll on another lovely dry weekend!

9 days done here, all good. Busy packing for UK holiday.

ElsaCragg thanks for update, looking forward to getting to where you are.

Hangingover well done resisting. If the smell sets you off maybe try popping a mint sweet into your mouth?

“Postcards from the sunlit uplands“ what a great phrase Ravenswick!

@Hangingover I have just downloaded you left early..... I am wobbly since yesterday I think because of pmt, it'll do me good to listen to it if it is hard hitting

@wickelfish - another slightly grim one is Dry - Augusten Burroughs. Not really my cup of tea but read as was going cheap on Amazon!

Morning all. Good to hear you are doing well ElsaCrag alway motivating to get your updates. Are you planning a treat for AF100 Bunnies?

Hangingon you are doing well managing the pub visits, it must be a bit testing. I can’t even order AF beer when out as I only like them home-chilled to near slush puppy and the thought of a tepid beer makes me weep.
I need to refocus and keep my eye on the prize (lifelong sobriety with 1st goal of 100days). We might be going away for a couple of days early August and I have a feeling my DH will be disappointed if I don’t drink. There is a bit of tension between us these days. I think he is fed up us both working from home, but I just feel really sad about it, sort of lonely. Anyway best get on, off work today but plenty waiting to be done. To all those with week 1 under your belt, you are doing a great job- hardest bit done!

Morning everyone and happy Friday! I'm on day 5 and feeling good, although tired all the time despite sleeping like a baby.

This will be my first sober weekend since dry January. Plans for tonight is to take the kids on a walk/scooter ride once OH gets home from work,, tire them out and order some pizzas to collect from our favorite pizza place on the way home for a movie night (feels so good to be excited to do something as a family rather than counting the minutes until kids bedtime so we can slump down onto the sofa with wine)

Going to buy some limes/lemons and Indian tonic water for tonight and its my turn for a lie in tomorrow which I'm looking forward to! Its crazy how much extra time I feel like I've got and I'm enjoying things that I forgot to enjoy (like reading! Just finished the bbciplayer series the secret she keeps and I am buying the book for this weekend)

Have a good weekend everyone

@Okayokayok totally agree with you on the extra time thing! I’ve just downloaded some embroidery courses that I’ve wanted to do for a long time but always been ‘too busy’ (hungover and apathetic).
@wickelfish I had a wobbly day Wednesday- I felt so sorry for myself and anxious. Good news: it’ll pass soon. We’ve got this!

Hi all, checking in on day 49. I’m going out for dinner tonight which as I went AF under lockdown is my first real test. I’ve checked the menu and they do lovely AF cocktails so I’m focusing on those (my friends originally suggest going for drinks but I turned it into dinner so I can order food straight away to satisfy any cravings I get!)

I’m going to try secret she keeps this weekend @Okayokayok. I’ve also invested in a jigsaw puzzle

Thank you everyone for the lovely comments; this is a really supportive thread.

Talking of time, I can't believe how much more productive I am now. I've been out this morning, did a wash load when I got back, and it's almost ready to go on the line. It will be ready to fold and put away after tea, and I'll be in a fit state later. In the past, I would have done it the next day and opened a bottle of wine as soon as I got home instead.

That’s very helpful to read @ElsaCrag

I’ve just realised how hard tonight is going to be

@Cyllie33, the best advice I can give is not to have that first drink. The AF cocktails are a great idea, think how much more in control you will be and how well you will feel tomorrow. You are doing so well. I used to think that not drinking would make me boring, but the truth is I have more fun when sober.

Thank you. I’ve just eaten a load of cheese before leaving the house. Feeling full stops me wanting alcohol even if it doesn’t do wonders for the weight loss! Just remembering what someone said upthread along the lines of as long as you stay AF you’re winning!

Go @Cyllie33, great plan and hope you have a wonderful AF evening. Keep playing all the positives in your mind about how great it feels not to drink and how fab you will feel tomorrow. We are all rooting for you!

Hope @Mustardpot you have a lovely holiday and for everyone else, a brilliant weekend free of the booze. I'm off to dig my chilled AF lager out of the fridge and will raise a glass to you all!

Hope you all have a lovely AF weekend! I’m having a few days away with the family.
To whoever asked, for AF100 I am planning a nice long run all by myself along the coastal path😍

@Cyllie33 DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS

Aahhhhh! @Hangingover it’s Day 50! BLOODY WELL DONE US! I can’t quite believe it. Are you treating??

And we’ve both survived nights out as I didn’t drink last night, I ate everything in sight and was there for 3.5hours but no booze - thank you wonderful thread people for support.

Woohooo! Well done! I feel like every alcohol free night out makes you stronger.

I'm also celebrating -- day 90! And another hangover free Saturday. Still not tackled the smoking again but I've set a date. Shout out to Bunnies for not smoking. Keep going!

Well done everyone on your milestones 🙌
Hope you all have a good weekend.