Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

Also hello and welcome to @SmiledWithTheRisingSun - pull up a comfy chair and join us on the wagon :-)

Morning all.

I think I posted once on an old thread, but just reintroducing myself, as it’s nice to have a sober place on MN to check in!

I’m 94 days sober and am doing AA, as my drinking had become really unmanageable over the last few years and hit new heights of madness in the first couple of weeks of lockdown.

I’m SO bloody happy to be sober, I cannot tell you! It is still early days, but already my life is changing for the better in many ways. I’m determined to stay sober, and glad this thread is here to hear other people’s experiences. Thank you 🙏

Oh and on the non-alcoholic drinks ideas tip:

I’ve been making ‘sangria’ on sunny evenings, with 0% red wine (pretty horrible on its own, as it’s so sweet) mixed with Fever Tree blood orange soda (refreshing, bitter) and slimline tonic with lots of ice and chopped up oranges & lemons. A jug of that to sip on in the garden on a warm evening is lovely!

@AvoidingTheWineAisle congrats on your sobriety, and we quit the same day!!! (12th April), or at least I am also on Day 94🤩 Feels great doesn’t it🤩🤩🤩

Hi everyone, one week done, hurrah, absolutely chuffed. Feel ridiculously calm. Sleeping is still a problem.

My reward for one week is a new minimiser bra (don’t like being busty), not my usual M&S but upgraded to Triumph and still have saved money by not drinking.

Nice one @Mustardpot I found sleep took a while to settle but it did improve slowly - I’m on day 47 and it feels much more steady fingers crossed so hang on in there!

@AvoidingTheWineAisle I remember your post - well Done you've done amazingly! That drink sounds lovely I think I will have to make it.

My sleep patern has gone nuts. I've always been a bit of a bad sleeper, and had been doing great since giving up the wine but the last month, nope. I go to sleep ok is can take a hour or so. Then if I wake / when I wake that's it for like 3 hours then I start falling asleep when it's time to get up. It's annoying now. You'd think I'd be sleeping like a long not having drank all this time lol

Good thing is work has gone nuts and I have 4 people on a waiting list for space as they want a cleaner😂🙌

Hope you're all doing well x

I was on the first thread for a short time - just popping back to say now day 177 af. I feel great. Like others, post-lockdown may bring more challenges but it has become a habit now and I have told a lot of people. I NEVER imagined I would be day 177!!!

Well done everyone!

Hi there @vagmons! Very happy to hear from you, and that you are still going strong.

It's great to have so many new people on the thread, bringing a new wave of recommendations for AF drinks and quit lit!

I love anything with ginger, at the moment I am into bottle green ginger and lemongrass cordial with fizzy water and frozen citrus slices. Also bitter lemon. And I've got pretty glasses. And shiny metal straws. It helps me to make a bit of a performance out of making an AF drink.

Thanks for the tips everyone. I especially like the sound of the sangria @AvoidingTheWineAisle.

@Ifnotnowthenwhen5 I’ve tried everyleaf-it’s ok but for some reason reminds me of cola! Currently drinking Lyres Ameretti - so far so good!

Thanks for all the drinks ideas!! I've stocked up for my camping weekend. DH has agreed to stay AF with me on Friday night at the campsite which is a big deal for him, pitching the tent goes hand in hand with a beer. I am trying to visualise it all AF but drinking is a huge part of our camping holidays. So much so that when we went recently I felt like I was ruining my own holiday by being hung over every day. The alternative has got to be worth exploring right??

Hope you are all having a good evening. I'm settling down with bedtime tea, hiking guide and dog

Hi all, congrats to @vagmons on the days and great news @jess3817 about your waiting list :-) I tried AF lager tonight @wickelfish and it was lovely - and only 66 calories in a bottle, fab! I bet you’ll have a fantastic camping trip.

Great to hear everyone is doing so well - signing off for day 12 here, see you all tomorrow!

@Drybird2020 where can I get this Green Ginger & lemongrass drink?

I'm on day 3 and enjoying fevertree Indian tonic water with ice & some lime. So far feel good, sleep has improved & anxiety reduced, I take mini panic attack type things as I'm falling asleep and pull myself out of sleep in a panic state thinking I was about to die but its already improving, think my body is used to falling into a drunken sleep as it only happens when I'm stone cold sober (,which isn't often until now)

Also enjoying a horlicks before bed and have been using lavender bath oils for sleep.

I'm excited about my new sober journey x

@Okayokayok it's a slim tapered green bottle which you should find in the cordial section the brand is Bottle Green and they make various elderflower drinks too.

@wickelfish I can see exactly the ways in which sober camping is extra challenging, it's always been associated with booze for me, and being pissed took the edge off the discomfort of the sleeping arrangements. I haven't tried it since I quit but waking up in a hot tent with a garbage pail mouth and a banging head has to be worth leaving in the past! @Hangingover has been camping her way round Oz so will have some pearls of wisdom, probably involving pie 🥧. Your DH sounds like a goodun. 😊

Yes, if you have a camp kitchen pie will take the edge off 😭😂

Honestly, I have never been more grateful for the improved sleep than whole camping!!! Tent hangovers are some of the worst hangovers imaginable. I felt smug every morning when I woke up. Here are some sober camping tips;

• make the even all about dinner. Camp cooking (at first at least) is really fun and novel so a good distraction. Also it's totally acceptable to go to be unreasonably early while camping and cooking/getting ready for bed takes about five times longer than normal so you might find the time flies by.
• also acceptable to be in PJs around the site (at least it is here) so get some snug ones on nice and early as it'll help your mind think it's in bedtime mode not stay up drinking mode.
• make loads of awful double-entendre while putting up the tent together. Me and DP did this if we were being at all pissy with eachother (totally normal and inevitable while camping I think) it's a great distraction and really cheers you up
• make everything comfy and cosy as possible i.e cosy foam/inflatable matress or whatever you're using... something to make tent cute...lots of hot drinks...be as comfy as possible so there's less"edge" to want to take off
• sex while camping. It's InTents. ill get my coat
• try not to look at your phone too much. It's always amazed me how much being away from electric lights causes your natural melatonin to kick in and make you super drowsy by night fall. Try to enjoy the natural rhythm of sleeping when it gets dark and waking when the sun comes up.
• plan lots of little activities, even if it's going to buy a coffee in the morning or going for a walk round the campsite...helps you feel structured and more in control.

I thought it'd be impossible but it was a doddle I promise. And when you wake up in the morning you'll be SO SO glad you're sober.

@Hangingover Thank you!!! Excellent tips there!!!! I'm starting to really look forward to it now. Day 5 here and for the first time in possibly years I just looked in the mirror and I have woken up without a puffy grey face. I didn't expect it so soon but wow does that make me happy... My body must be sorting itself out!! I'm tempted to start Dieting and just solve all the problems at once but at the moment I am enjoying some chocolate in the evening and the freedom to not worry about food too much so I'll resist that temptation for a while longer.

@Okayokayok how did you get on last night with falling asleep? I feel for you. This exact thing, having a panic reaction to the process of falling asleep, is something I know unfortunately all too well. It hasn't happened for years now but it was the reason I started using alcohol to self medicate. It is possible to get through it without alcohol though I promise you. And the more you do it, the more you will teach your brain that you are safe to fall asleep.

That sounds brilliant @wickelfish - no such changes for me but I am getting better sleep now and have a lower resting heart rate so some positives here too - hang in there those in the first week, even as early as week 2 things improve!

Glad you've joined us @Okayokayok - its an exciting place to be :-) Horlicks - thats a blast from the past, may have to try that once the nights start drawing in. I really enjoyed my AF beer last night so nice to have that for the times when ginger beer doesn't quite hack it.

Morning everyone, I slept well last night, I needed it, was getting quite tetchy.

Busy day here packing, off on UK holiday tomorrow. DH is a real foodie so lots of restaurants booked (nervous about that for starters), I have offered to drive but he says he may stay alcohol free for holiday too.

Today is day 9 for me. Feeling good. Very glad I am doing this.

@Mustardpot having lots of good meals will probably be a revelation to you... You will be far more focused on the food and flavours and experience instead of on wine, how much to drink, all that noise... Let us know how it goes!!!

@Mustardpot great news about your DH - what a support that would be. Exciting to have good restaurants booked - I am another one who will be interested to see whether the food is better without wine! So pleased you are having a good week - me too fist-bumps with you and @wickelfish

My DH is interested but TBH is having the week from hell so this has not been the moment for him to take it further, but seeing him has made me realise how much harder stressful times are made by the booze - interrupted sleep, anxiety, raised heart rate - exactly what you DON'T need when times are tough.

Thanks Ravenswick and wicklefish, yeah got lucky with DH he’s a good one. He drinks different stuff from me so I don’t think he would set me off but it’s a good gesture. Glad you guys are doing good.

@Hangingover thanks for the tips there. Going on holiday in August with the kids and it'll be the first ime I won't have drank on holiday. Not camping but in a caravan - have been feeling a bit iffy about it recently but keep thinking about how shite I won't be feeling and I'll enjoy myself more because of it.( not that holidaying with four kids is a holiday. It isnt😂😂)

@Mustardpot that's nice he's staying AF too.
Not that he drank much before anyway but my hubby has done over 100 AF with me as well. Have said I dont mind if he drinks guiness( that's what he drinks) - that stuff is horrid 😂

I put my big girl pants on today and ceased working for ons of my new customers ( the semi horder lady - think I mentioned her here) too much to write here but , I had to stop it, was getting really stressed and anxious, not worth it. So stress free now 😁

Hello all, just found the new thread and checking in.

Day 267 here, but I'm now at a point where it's just a number. I don't think about drinking at all. I realise now that alcohol was feeding a low level of anxiety that I thought was normal, and being sober has changed my outlook 100%. I feel so positive these days, despite the current Covid situation. Life is great.

I don't have any great insights to share. It's simply one day at a time. I thought that drinking helped me to cope, but the opposite is true.