Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

“Rose tinted retrospect” = phrase of the day - brilliant!

That’s really helpful thinking @Ravenswick about a drink at the end of a long day. Interestingly reading that made me realise how much I like coming back from a run and having something long and cold - but never alcohol that would be weird. So if I can adapt my pleasure in that end of run drink to my thinking around when I have a craving that might be helpful. Sorry that probably doesn’t make much sense!

Ooh what are your running challenges @BunniesBunniesBunnies ?

I’m off to get some ginger beer - I’m getting a Famous Five craving too from reading this...

@Cyllie33 well, I’ve run longer distances before (half marathon last year) but over the last few years I’ve been getting slower and slower🤭 So I’ve been re-doing C25K in the hope of being able to do a sub 30 min 5k again! Aside from that I’d love to do a full marathon one day, but that takes a lot of time (to train) which I don’t have at the moment😅 I am making the most of my family being away this week though - Today I went for a run twice!!! It keeps my cravings at bay.

@Cyllie33 how about you, do you run? There’s a few runners on this thread! @Drybird2020 @jess3817 (I think!)

@BunniesBunniesBunnies wow twice in one day!

I did c25k end of last year and it all totally went to pot during lockdown which I was gutted about, but quitting booze is getting me back into it....which is just as well as months ago I signed up for a September 10K. I thought it would be cancelled because of CV but at the moment it’s going ahead...in which case I need to get ready! I’m doing 4K three times a week at the moment.

Evening everyone

I'm just home from a meal out with friends, they were drinking wine and I drank fizzy water. I'm very pleased with myself but I did find it weird. Their wine smelled awful! I feel a bit tense now and like I need to unwind, so maybe a nice soft drink and a book. Thinking about my weekend away and starting to wobble....

I'll keep on going, Friday is a long way away yet

Brilliant news @wickelfish :-) raising my glass of fever tree ginger to you, we can do this! I’ve got a work appraisal on Friday (Yeuch!) so already thinking what I will have in the fridge for Friday night (thinking kombucha or AF lager). Prior preparation and planning... :-)

Thanks for the support @Ravenswick and @Bateshotel. I guess it was brave, but I knew that I would enjoy the meal and the chat. I'm more of a drinker at home than out with friends, so it was when I got home that I had a craving but it was fleeting.

@Bateshotel I hope you start to feel better soon. Whenever I have had a dry period before (maybe twice in 4 years, max 4 weeks!) I have found days 3 and 4 to be the hardest... The tiredness really comes to the surface when there is no alcohol to mask it. I had headaches too but this time for some reason I've just had the tiredness so far. By the weekend you'll be feeling totally different I'm sure

@Bateshotel the headaches in the beginning are grim. I had them too. They will go though and you feel so much better. You will miss alcohol less as time goes on, I promise😊 I’m not saying you’ll never have a craving but once your break the habit you will feel the need to replace it less.

Brushed teeth and off to bed now. Had 3 Becks Blue, thought they were fine. DH preferred water. Hope everyone is ok.

Night @Mustardpot, night @Bateshotel, night@wickelfish - sorry for sounding like the Waltons but nice to think we’ve made it for another night :-)

Hello! Can I join you please?
Stoped during lockdown here too.
It's definitely easier not seeing drinking pals!
Had a blip a couple of weekends ago but it was SO not worth it. Honestly it just really buggers my sleep up when I drink. And I can't cope the next day. Takes me ages to get over it. I would love this to be forever. Taking things a day at a time though. But loving the feeling of calm being AF gives me!

Evening everyone. Welcome back Nomorewine77 I remember you! Welcome all newbies too. I agree with Ravenswick (excellent post I thought!) that reading the quit lit is really helpful to rewire your brain. I know his book isn’t for everyone but I really liked Allan Carr. I don’t know if it was just my time to REALLY try and stop, but I haven’t had a drink since reading his book 44 days ago. He really hits home that giving up by willpower is not going to work. You have to decide you want to stop because it’s a toxic addiction which ‘does nothing for you’. It might be part brain washing but I have found it very effective. It’s still bloody hard though at times you least expect it. I was out Saturday night at garden get together. Everyone else was drinking and I didn’t and felt so proud of myself. Then yesterday, at Monday teatime I had dreadful cravings and wanted to just go to bed as I felt totally miserable. Hang in there everyone and remember why you are here. If we were the people who could just have a couple at the weekend we wouldn’t be on this thread seeking support.

Thank you all for your kind words, normally I'd jump on threads and then disappear but I'm determined to stick around this time! Hi @iamyourequal I remember you too and wow 44 days that's great going! The most I've ever been AF is 30 days a couple of years ago in probably getting on 10 years, that sounds grim looking at it written down. Day 5 here, usually by now I would have caved but am still feeling the after effects of last Friday night's bender for which I'm strangely grateful. It's true what they say ( for me anyway ) that with age comes reduced tolerance. I've had so many alcohol induced migraines this last year or more.
I've read quite a lot of books, Annie Grace, Claire Pooley, the unexpected joy of being sober to name a few but nothing really got through to me ( I read them a while ago ) and then proceeded to carry on drinking. I have taken a slightly different tack this time and am basically scaring myself silly reading/watching accounts of people dying from alcohol related diseases, harrowing stuff and has really hit home.
It is a toxic addiction in so many ways and is basically ( for some, not all ) nothing short of slow suicide.

Morning all, Hope everyone is feeling okay today😊 After a couple of tough days last week I feel really pleased that by the end of the day I’ll have made it through 4 days by myself (family away) without drinking or smoking😱🤩 I feel really releaved and pleased and of course by the end of the day I will be treating myself to something nice😅

(For the newbies - As the regulars on the thread know, I like to create as many milestones as possible so I can treat myself for being sober A LOT😂 My favourite gifts to me have been colourful work out gear, swimming lessons, new shoes and now I’ll be getting myself a necklace🤭 It’s important to stay motivated😅)

Morning all. Just checking in. Such a lovely and active thread and welcome newbies!

Rose tinted retrospect is a lovely phrase.

Many sober treats is an excellent idea. Last night I bought a complete BBC cast version of Jane Eyre on audio. I love listening to audio books when driving.

Morning everyone!
Excellent plan @BunniesBunniesBunnies- I like the idea of lots of treats! I’m making a biiiig list of AF drinks I want to try and other bits and bobs I’m going to treat myself to after payday. And excellent work @wickelfish, once I managed to not drink Saturday night it gave me a huge boost. Have a good day everyone

Oooh @Ifnotnowthenwhen5 please can you share your AF drink list? So far I'm enjoying my crodino with orange slices, some tonic and lime but I don't know what else to try as I don't like sweet drinks and I need to lose weight so need to go easy on the sugar for now (not actively Dieting as I can't do that and quit booze all at once)

Oh I’m loving hearing about people’s treats! Audiobooks and workout gear I might copy @Ifnotnowthenwhen5 and @BunniesBunniesBunnies I’ve done some book ordering and really enjoying Greg Jenner’s Dead Famous history of celebrity which I would never have had the focus to read while drinking.

@wickelfish I’m not a fan of sweet stuff either and another of my treats was ordering a bottle of the AF aperitif Everleaf. It’s not cheap but Im a big fan and it feels special - it’s in a similar vein to Campari or aperol (tho a softer colour) and great with tonic, ice and a wedge of orange.

Definitely make a list @Ifnotnowthenwhen5

My fave drinks are now:

Nice coffee
Herbal tea
Diet Coke
Alcohol free beer (I hate becks blue, my fave is Brew Dog AF or Lidl own brand AF larger)

One night I drank a horrifically sweet bottle of AF sparkly stuff from M&S and afterwards I saw it contained 120 grams of sugar😱😱😱😱😱😱 How is that okay?! Didn’t even taste good!

Morning all day. Day 4.

@Bateshotel I too am suffering with headaches. Hopefully these pass quickly. I’d sooner these headaches than a dehydrated hangover one I guess.

@BunniesBunniesBunnies treats are important for sure!

I think self care is perhaps more important when battling this as a lot of us probably completely neglected ourselves and in times of stress reached for the easiest thing... booze! I am trying to be much more mindful of dealing with stress, anxiety etc but also more mindful of positive situations too. So if something goes well or deserves a celebration, I don’t want to automatically reach for the bubbly.

Have a good day everyone

@wickelfish would love to share my new labour of love!

Word of warning though- some of these are alcohol dupes and I know in the past I've failed because I've sat with my disgusting AF wine (hint: don't bother), it's made me miss wine and I've thought "I may as well drink normal wine". For some people I think the dupes can be triggering (for want of a better word), but for me the ones I've tried below have been a close match and it just makes me think I'm drinking the same but without the ill effects.

Like you I'm not a massive fan of sweet drinks. So for day to day I like ginger beer/ale (lots of ice and lime), posh tonic waters (Fever Tree light range, London Essence, posh supermarket own brands) and good old lime and soda. I make sure I have plenty of options in the fridge, different tonics in particular that I look forward to trying, and use a nice glass, ice, fruit, herbs (umbrella optional). I've also given myself permission to spend a bit more and maybe indulge a bit more in treats- AF is the most important thing to me at the moment, anything else can be resolved after.

Stars for me so far:
Nosecco- 52g sugar, 210cal (even better with juice for a bellini). Bit sweet for me so added a dash of soda water.
Heineken 0%- for a 330ml can 4.29g sugar, 69.3cal
London Essence Peach and Jasmine soda water (500ml)- 22g sugar, 96cal. Had it with mint and fruit and can't wait to try their others.

Planing to try:
Stryyk Not Gin
Everleaf spirit
Crodino thanks to you!!
Three Spirit drinks- these I'm a little bit wary of as it sounds like they are trying to mimic the effects of alcohol. The jurys out on this one.

Any other suggestions I'm interested to hear as we're going away in a few weeks with friends and it'll be boozy so I'm preparing my arsenal now!

Morning to the gang, and hope you are all having a great day. @wicklefish, Fevertree light are only about 19cal/100ml but taste great - their Clementine tonic is not too sweet but refreshing.

Congrats to @EffieJeffie and @Nomorewine77 as well as to the rest of us for being so incredible :-) Hope you are starting to feel better @Bateshotel, you're doing really well. Thanks @iamyourequal for the kind words, glad you liked it!

If I get to December AF I have a huge treat planned but I've got to get there first - loving the treat recommendations as I want some smaller ones along the way - @BunniesBunniesBunnies you definitely have the right idea!