Staying Stopped - Alcohol Free, permanently.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a kind and supportive environment for anyone committing to an alcohol free life.

From Day 1 onwards, you are welcome here for support, encouragement, tips and chat. There are many of us, at different points on the journey some have been sober for years, months, or weeks, others are just starting out, but all are
committed to an alcohol free life and the freedoms it brings...

Freedom from the tyranny of booze and the effort of figuring out how much to drink, and how and when to procure and drink it.

Freedom from guilt, self loathing, and 3am wake ups, and the fear of what might have been said and done the night before.

Freedom from the pervasive sense of dread and shame.

Freedom to embrace life with energy, and to face challenges with an uncluttered head, a lighter heart, and a lighter recycling bin.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to hang out and ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

I check in here every day as part of my recovery. It has kept me accountable, and the wonderful posters who contribute have helped me more than they could possibly know. This is day 137, and I'll be here for a long time!

I'm the same, I smoke way more when I'm drinking. I did try and stop smoking first but found I was drinking more but this way doesn't seem much easier. In hindsight I should have stopped both at the same time. Or never started again in the first place!

Hello everyone, especially the newcomers. I realised that I couldn't cut down, but had to stop altogether, and that was a very sobering thought, if you'll pardon the pun!

It helped me initially to set myself a 30 day target, and I signed up for the Annie Grace 30 day alcohol experiment. By the end of that first month, I felt transformed.

I can't underestimate the support I got (and still get) from these threads. I also found the Allen Carr book really good. He has also written a stop smoking book, if that helps the smokers on here.

My advice is never have that first drink, take things one day at a time and keep posting on this thread.

myourequal

Hi all. I hope everyone has had a lovely day in the sun. I just wanted to pop in to share with you that tonight I will be having my final drink, ever. I’ve been trying to cut out and cut back for 9 months now. I have done lots of research, kept a full diary of my drinking patterns and can finally admit that I know I cannot happily moderate. (I have spreadsheets and charts to prove it -sad!). Sometimes I manage it but it’s miserable and I see now with complete clarity that there is no point. So this is it, I’m sharing with you guys as I don’t feel I can tell anyone in real life (well I have told DH but I think he is skeptical). I know you guys will understand, I have been following all the great success stories on here since January. Many of you have coped with stress and illness and bad news and stayed so strong.
So this is it. Tomorrow is 1st June, a fabulous day of the year, so if anyone wants to join me in starting over, or reaffirming their commitment that would be fabulous. I am feeling positive but I am asking for your support, as this feels pretty scary too. I have been weepy all weekend at the thought of losing my ‘friend’ the booze, but I know he is also my worst enemy and it’s time to part company for good.

Wow Welcome welcome welcome to all the new people.

5 months for me and everything you are all saying totally resonates with me - the counting the days, the reaction of your partners, the all consuming thoughts, the pride over every triumph, the realisation that you've gone down a booze hole......

It gets better. You can do it. I've got through birthdays, barbecues, sunny days, winters nights, parties and stressful days at work - all previous triggers for me. Believe me if I can do it you all can.

Well done

@iamyourequal - we can do this!!

@aprilfoolsbaby - 5 months - can't wait until I'm at that stage!

This time last week was the last time I drank & as usual I drank too much.

Day 7 nearly done and dusted... still feeling determined 😁

Well done on day 7 Tiggy!

5 months is super inspiring April. At the moment I can’t even imagine a sober BBQ, ...there will be a lot of learning ahead.

Blimey that's a two out of two for vivid dreams. Work up early with a horrific nightmare but no hangover. Day 3 dawns (I'm in Aus btw). Have a good day everyone.

Morning all, and welcome to the newcomers. My advice is something I got from Clare Pooley : treat yourself like a toddler. Plenty of sleep, snacks, distractions when you feel a tantrum coming on.

And I always say this, but here it is again; don't expect too much of yourself. Your only job, for now, is not to drink. Eat what you want, slob around, watch and read utter shite if that's what you want. Any other kind of self improvement can wait.

And a special shout out to @iamyourequal. I feel like you have been hovering around the big decision for a long time, and now you've made it. Well done. Keep posting.

I'm about to get out of bed and go for a run. That is not a sentence I would have typed in the early months of the year! Happy day to you all.

Hey everyone.

Hanginover have you come across Shanna Wan?

www.soberinthecountry.org/

I used to read her blog, but now i see she has massivalry branched out and has a really big website now.

Yay for Day 3!

Hope you have a really good day also. And that everyone has a great day. :)

Drybird thanks for reminding me of Clare Pooley's quote. (I LOVE Clare Pooley- I always think I would want her to be my friend).

I joined slimming world last week but have done nothing about it and was feeling guilty. For me the binge eating and massive over drinking is very much intertwined. I need to learn how to eat again- how to quite literally nourish myself. I will try and get to eating well, focusing on self care.

It is so good to have this thread. :)

A bright shiny new sober day!

@Hangingover I’m on day 3 too. I feel so sluggish as if I could sleep for Britain. I didn’t stop eating yesterday.

That’s a helpful thought tho @Drybird2020...I’ll try and not worry about the amount I’m sleeping and eating for now! Enjoy your run.

It’s a nice shiny new day here too and the sun is shining. And it’s a new month - lovely June

Thanks Drybird. I’m all for following the ‘toddler’ advice. I love an early night and naps, I hope it extends to chocolate buttons 😀. Best of luck with SW GreenTea I totally get you as I’ve had lifelong struggle with eating and weight control, sometimes it’s just one problem on top of another.

Another one liking the "toddler" advice! Evening of day three here. We've been for a surf and normally would get stuck into the red now but I'm going to cook and have a 0% beer if the craving gets out of control. I'm so so sleepy too! But sleeping all night is a revelation (even with he awful dreams) and...TMI maybe... DP and me actually DTD last night We never ever have sex at night (because I never want to) unless I'm TOTALLY plastered. Hope it becomes a regular thing! Sober sex is lovely.

The weird dreams are familiar! As was the sleepiness in the early days. Hang in there!

Day 50 for me🤩

Day 50 that is fantastic, you must feel great. I wish I had better news but I have not stayed sober so back to day 3. I don't know if I can do this, I don't know how to.

It's really odd DH barely drinks so where is the fun in drinking alone. I already see the benefits after 3 days, anxiety reduced, sleep is better even when I wake with a headache I don't mind as I know it is not alcohol induced. Why is this so difficult?

I need to get some treats in to look forward to in the evening, will pop out tomorrow. Meanwhile, well done everyone, I enjoy reading your achievements.

Your back Rupert that’s the main thing. I’m AF1 so you’re already nailing it compared to me!

I've found that got chocolate and lots of tonic in a big glass with ice is helping in the evenings. I'm going to see if I can download the Annie grace boook on my kindle. It always helps and inspires me to read/ listen/ watch something relevant. I've been sleeping in all the time so tomo am going to try and get up before the kids for a cup of tea and some yoga. If anyone has some inspiring recommendations for reading/watching etc I'd really appreciate it

Me and DH are listening to Naked Mind together. I'm also on my own re-listening to Rachel's Holiday. I was in drug rehab 5 years ago and I find it so comforting and familiar and sad all at once!

I'm here to reassure everyone that needs it that eventually you stop thinking about it at all.
I've been sober for almost 14 years. Alcohol was ruining my life and my health. For many years now, it doesn't even enter my head to pick up a drink. It's as if it doesn't exist.
I've been through many traumatic life events since being sober - bereavement, heartbreak, money woes, grown up child with MH problems to name but a few. I've been through all of it completely sober. I had to feel every bit of pain and I'm here as proof that you can survive!

I should also say not just survive but be happy.

Just checking in - and then out as must dash to work. xx

@emmetgirl thank you for coming by to say that, it helps!

@Rupertpenrysmistress, you do know how to do it! Don't drink today. Don't burden yourself with worrying thoughts of the long term, it's too much to take on. Stick to one day at a time and treat yourself kindly.

I'm counting down the days to my six month milestone at the end of June (there must be a few of us!). The benefits keep coming; I've just got through a week of vicious PMS and period pain without thinking about having a drink. It used to be a major trigger for me.

Wow congrats on 50 days @BunniesBunniesBunnies

I’m so glum and frustrated this morning. I wanted to jump out of bed and go for a run but I am SO exhausted and tired even tho I slept through the night (and much better than if I’d been drinking). It’s so disheartening, I wanted being alcohol free to make me feel better!

I am heartened by the people who are approaching six months tho @drybird

1 week today. I also wanted to jump out of bed and do some exercise but I am still in bed now!

Morning all!

Congratulations @BunniesBunniesBunnies, 50 days is awesome. .

For those struggling and repeating Day 1 several times, I was the same. But it does get easier. Find ways to get over your triggers, change your routine, have some non-alcoholic drinks or treats to hand. A good book or boxset, a hobby or interest that can occupy your mind in the evenings. Just don't give in to that first drink.

I stopped just to see if I could. As I was scared that my pattern of drinking was not normal. My fear was that I could not stop and it would get out of control. I gave myself 30 days, and am now on day 223. It's possible once you are in the right mindset. Don't think you can cut back, or just have one drink on holiday or at a family wedding, for example. That's not possible for me. No drinking. Ever. And I'm not bothered by it at all. It's liberating. Life is great.