Staying Stopped - Alcohol Free, permanently.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a kind and supportive environment for anyone committing to an alcohol free life.

From Day 1 onwards, you are welcome here for support, encouragement, tips and chat. There are many of us, at different points on the journey some have been sober for years, months, or weeks, others are just starting out, but all are
committed to an alcohol free life and the freedoms it brings...

Freedom from the tyranny of booze and the effort of figuring out how much to drink, and how and when to procure and drink it.

Freedom from guilt, self loathing, and 3am wake ups, and the fear of what might have been said and done the night before.

Freedom from the pervasive sense of dread and shame.

Freedom to embrace life with energy, and to face challenges with an uncluttered head, a lighter heart, and a lighter recycling bin.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to hang out and ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

I check in here every day as part of my recovery. It has kept me accountable, and the wonderful posters who contribute have helped me more than they could possibly know. This is day 137, and I'll be here for a long time!

Morning all. I'm a little apprehensive about this, but here goes. I've had alcohol issues for a while now, mainly looking forward to an evening drink after work to wind down, then that one leads into another and another, then before I know it I've drank a quarter of a litre bottle of vodka (more on weekends). This has taken its toll on work and relationships. I know I need to stop, but just can't seem to get it into my head that there's more to life than looking at the bottom of an empty glass and feeling fuzzy headed all the time. I remember how it feels to be alcohol free and can't wait to feel like that again. Looking for motivation and tips on how to stop for a first timer please!
Thank you for reading.

Can I join too. 2 days af free, then ruined it last night. So now feel dreadful. Why does alcohol suddenly seem like a good idea?when we know it’s not? Hi careergirl, nice to see you and thanks drybird.

Morning! Day 7 for me.

I have given up before (due to some health issues which were not drink related) and I read a few books at the time so can't remember where this nugget of wisdom came from, but it really helped last time..... it was about only having to avoid the first drink. Don't think about eliminating all of those second, third, hundred drinks..... just avoid/refuse the first one. Somehow that makes it much easier for me as it's only one drink I am denying myself!

Had a friend call by for a socially distanced gin yesterday afternoon - I just had tonic. She was none the wiser! Not ready yet to share my decision.

Morning everyone - welcome to the newbies, you're in the right place for support. Just try and only focus on today, don't think to far ahead (it used to freak me out thinking about tomorrow or the end of the week)
Bit tired today as ran and then did a 10k walk with a friend yesterday (socially distanced) my legs are dead 😂
Hope you all have a good day .

I think I need to join this thread. I need some motivation and support. I've been drinking so much more in lockdown and yesterday had a real binge from about 4pm til 11pm. Today I feel sluggish and tired and I know everything will be a struggle. I don't want to feel like this all the time. I'm also trying to lose weight and I know all the extra calories in wine and gin will be adding up and slowing down my progress.
For my mental and physical health i just feel like I need a break. Had planned to go for a long walk this morning and instead I'm laying in bed feeling dreadful.

Welcome to everyone new. :)

Hello everyone,
I'm new and on day two. It's really hard

Welcome to all you lovely new people.

The hardest part is making the decision. Once you've done that I promise it gets easier.

Everyday you will start to feel a little better and before you know it you'll be in double figures and your sleep will improve. Then your skin will start to look better. You might even find your clothes fit better. Your bank account will look healthier and you won't get the night-before dread. Yes, you are giving something up but you are gaining so much more it's helpful to think about the gains rather than having lost anything. You've lost the bad stuff and gained good stuff

@Hangingover
What have you found the hardest?

Hi myhandsareverycold I don't feel like DP is not being very helpful unfortunately. It's not really his fault but he just doesn't get it. I had SO much energy this morning and now I've completely crashed it this doesn't seem possible.

@Hangingover

Tell me a bit more about DP bring unhelpful?

I know it seems impossible but you need to take it minute by minute at this early stage. Lots of distraction techniques too.

Do you have any physical symptoms of alcohol withdrawal?

I found sugar (chocolate or whatever is your favourite) useful in the beginning.

I promise you can do this. Yes it's tough but it's worth it.

Have you read any of the stopping drinking stuff online or in book form. The girls in here call it quit lit. Most find it incredibly helpful.

Keep talking to us in here, we can help because we have all had a day 2.

Oh and am in that sort of self-hatred spiral thing where I just want to drink myself into a coma and smoke twenty cigarettes and pass out.

@Hangingover.

Self hatred is a common trait and it's a vicious circle.

How have the first two days been?

Would you rather give up alcohol or cigarettes?

I've been reading up online about people who stopped and felt better. I didn't think I was drinking enough to get physical withdrawal but the weirdest thing happened last night as I was trying to sleep, I got really agitated and twitchy and my legs wouldn't stay still

DP is a very nice man, easygoing to a fault, slightly oblivious sometimes and dotes on me so he's minimizing like mad, saying I don't have a problem, maybe just cut down a little bit etc. He's also not got an addictive bone in his body. He's one of those people who can sip one beer at 6pm and not even think to have another.

@Hangingover

Your DP sounds lovely but I can see why he's not being helpful in this situation.

How about you set your goal to a week for now, then keep increasing it. Would DP support that because it would seem more manageable rather than the "I'm never drinking again" approach which can be too much for some? Do you mind him drinking now you have stopped?

My DP was the opposite. He gave me an ultimatum to stop when I didn't think I had a problem. I still don't but I was definitely consuming far more alcohol than was good for me and I'm glad I've stopped as I'm not sure I would be a very good regulator.

I remember the hideous restless legs in the beginning. I think it's a thing! I started sleeping better when I got to about day 9 to 10 but it did get a little better every day.

@Hangingover, you could look at the 30-day Alcohol Experiment to start with. And that might help a a bit with your partner too.
www.alcoholexperiment.com/home

I've just been reading about some of the withdrawal symptoms and definitely that's what I'm feeling. I need DP to take it seriously for my sake. I need him to care if I screw up. I really don't know why he puts up with me being drunk so much...I wouldn't put up with me like this! He'd be totally cool with me being t-total. He was for 8 years. He got really drunk at a party one time so just stopped overnight! I think he may have grasped that I'm not being a drama queen as I've asked him if he'd mind doing the cooking for the only about the fifth time in as many years together (I love to cook, it's my happy place). Feel like I've been whacked with a spade.

Do you mind him drinking now you have stopped?

He got his one beer out for dinner as normal last night (I had an alcohol free one). I didn't say anything. Then after a few sips he poured it away and got an AF one himself. ❤️

@Jellybelly15 that how I feel. I’m so tired of wasted mornings/days, of feeling sluggish.

I think I’ve finally realised that alcohol doesn’t bring me anything positive. At least not drinking brings me many more positives. But it’s so hard. Thank you @myhandsareverycold for listing some of those positives..I’m adding to my list!

It’s really good to hear from people at different points.

yes it is the hours of wasted time that get me. i have so many more hours in the day now.

Another positive...... alcohol exacerbates my anxiety and depression. With every glass of wine I felt a piece of me dying. Not drinking feels like a rebuilding and hopefully a rebirth. If that makes sense.

I'd like to join. I've stopped drinking lots in the last few years to the point where I would say I have it under control but with the odd blow out/few drinks. I've realised that these remaining drinks do nothing for me; both for my mental and physical health. I'd like the push to become completely af so there is no question about if I am drinking on an occasion but it's just a given that I am not. I haven't drunk over the last two weeks at all and then my oh made me a cocktail last Tuesday and I did t want to say no when he had made the effort so only gone 5 days. It makes me sad how normalised drinking is; especially on the sunny weekends. I feel like a weirdo for not joining in!

Day two done. That's haven't done two days in a row since February!

@GreenTeaMug I feel the same about the way anxiety and depression are affected by alchohol and I once it heard someone say that it's like adding petrol to a fire. It makes it so much more intense

6 weeks today! Feeling so much better, sleeping well, less anxiety, and better skin. And my sugar cravings are finally reducing a bit now too. I'm reading Annie Grace's This Naked Mind and loving reading about our subconscious mind and emotional dependency. Right now I never want to drink again so I'm trying not to forget all the reasons I stopped.

Next to stop smoking. I gave up for over 20 years and then started with the occasional puff and now I'm buying them again. I stopped for 6 weeks earlier this year but started again - stupidly. I don't even know why. Hardly anyone knows I smoke. Isn't it weird I'm more embarrassed of that than people knowing I drink (drank). I guess drinking is just so normalised.

Love reading about how you're all getting on. It's good to know you're not the only one trying to do this

For me, drink leads to fags, without fail. I could go days without smoking if I were sober and I'd barely have taken the first sip of beer and the fag would be lit! And then of course the whole pack goes.