Staying Stopped - Alcohol Free, permanently.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a kind and supportive environment for anyone committing to an alcohol free life.

From Day 1 onwards, you are welcome here for support, encouragement, tips and chat. There are many of us, at different points on the journey some have been sober for years, months, or weeks, others are just starting out, but all are
committed to an alcohol free life and the freedoms it brings...

Freedom from the tyranny of booze and the effort of figuring out how much to drink, and how and when to procure and drink it.

Freedom from guilt, self loathing, and 3am wake ups, and the fear of what might have been said and done the night before.

Freedom from the pervasive sense of dread and shame.

Freedom to embrace life with energy, and to face challenges with an uncluttered head, a lighter heart, and a lighter recycling bin.

If you've not yet decided whether total abstinence is for you, do feel free to hang out and ask questions but please be aware that discussion of drinking can be triggering, especially for those in the early stages of sobriety.

If you are still drinking, or planning on moderating (and this includes occasional or once in a blue moon drinking) have a look at the moderation threads, which might be a better fit for you.

I check in here every day as part of my recovery. It has kept me accountable, and the wonderful posters who contribute have helped me more than they could possibly know. This is day 137, and I'll be here for a long time!

@Holyjebus

Yip horrible. Feel crap. Someone said on here you never regret waking up fresh after an alcohol free night.. So true.

Day 1 of many this time i hope!

@Holyjebus and @Jlou0712, sorry to hear you slipped but welcome back!!! So much better to get back on the horse straight away. I had many false starts and now on Day 65 (and Day 7 of quitting smoking!) I feel amazing. Hang in there, it will get easier and you can do this💪💪💪

@Drybird2020 thank you, that's what I love about this thread, there's never any judgement ❤️❤️

Thanks also Bunnies, Slantedbutchanted!!

@Holyjebus you are welcome. Nobody is immune from a slip up, however long you've been AF and however well resourced you might be. It is helpful when people return to the thread and talk about what happened so others can get some insight.

Helps having people to talk to. ☺️

... and what @Drybird2020 says x 1000 (to clarify I did not mean I am now immune as I’m too months in, I’m sorry if that was insensitive, I just meant Day 1 on a hangover is hard but you have our support!)

Day 17 AF in Aus, tucked up in bed, 5 days smoke free and 1 day pie free.

Your enthusiasm and joy in your sobriety is lovely @BunniesBunniesBunnies! 😊

Dropping by to say hello and how great it is to see loads of new people. The honesty on here is wonderful and non judgmental. Welcome.

I've been AF since NYE and over the past few weeks have been finding it difficult. I think it's the nice weather - the associations with booze are so strong. Also I've felt a bit down and grumpy and struggling to see the joy in things - think it's this whole dog shit situation we're experiencing but not liking myself very much right now.

But I'm still AF so 👏🏻 to me x

My only job is to not drink. Simples.

Hey all.

Have read all the posts. to everyone.

So tired today so heading for bed. Night. We are sober warriors. Those who slip and come back totally rock.

Night. x

Well done on coming this far aprilfoolsbaby that’s very inspiring. I hope that you feel better soon. Are you managing to get out for some sun and fresh air every day? I know I get gloomy stuck inside all day, which is a lot at the moment as I’m home working.

Hello all. I am going to read some newer posts now - too many to catch up on all.

But I just thought I'd say hello and that I reached six months AF at the end of last week and that was largely down to this thread.

It was a lifeline in the early days and weeks, and I still like popping back in to see if there are any familiar names.

I have several days in a row now when I don't think about booze. And DH has massively cut back too - I think thanks to lockdown as it's not fun for him drinking if I'm not.

Hope everyone doing well and I'm going to read back for old names I signed up with at the end of last year x

@Growingboys CONGRATULATIONS on reaching the six month mark!! It's great to hear from you 😊👍👏🎉

Congrats @Growingboys🤩🤩🤩

@aprilfoolsbaby and @Growingboys, it's so helpful to read posts from people who are further along. Well done both of you! It's great to read that you don't think about drinking often, Growing. And I hope this tricky phase passes soon april.

Well done for getting back on it, @holyebus and @Jlou0712. Onwards and upwards

A night full of the weirdest smoking/drinking/pregnancy dreams. I'm shattered!

Day 2 positive again. Slip up showed me cant drink, felt like shit all day yest and just proves i mentally cant handle it as i have hang ups about a few things just now. I am hoping i manage a clear run or if i do slip up ita after a longer time but really hope i can just do it forngood now!!

Help.

DP needs to collect something from friend tomorrow. Friend has asked us for dinner. DP thinks this is grand. I do not.

I am really weird about meeting new people. I'm not talking about running into people in the pub or the street or something but something like a dinner at someone's house for several hours makes me SO socially anxious that I'd rather pull my own fingernails out than subject myself to it. The only way Is be able to even make conversation would be to have multiple glasses of wine and have a fag every 15 minutes. He hasn't even told them I'm vegan yet which means they'll bend over backwards to make me something at a days notice which I won't be able to eat any of because my anxiety makes my throat and tummy feel weird and they'll think I'm a mute, fussy oddball. I might even have an actual panic attack or upset stomach while there. Wine has been the only thing that has halted a panic attack in its tracks for so many years. I appreciate that I sound literally nuts but I'm full on bawling on my bed right now. I can't do this. I can't do any of it

Well done to those who have reached milestones, great work, I hope I will posting similar in weeks/months to come.

@jlou & @Holyjebus I have faltered more than once on my journey, most people have. Keep going we're all behind you xx

I've been thinking about my triggers and how to avoid them. I can cope with not drinking during the week, I mean don't get me wrong if I have wine in the house I will drink it, but if I don't I can manage without climbing the walls.
But as soon as it's 4 o'clock on a Friday, that's when the urge starts to niggle at me, louder and louder.
Even if I manage not to drink on a Friday, the whole rigmarol starts again on Saturday but earlier at lunchtime. The thoughts of "gosh I really fancy a drink, a nice glass of cold white wine will go well with tonight's dinner. I've been good all week, I've shown I can go without...." and on and on it goes. I'm so utterly fed up of it.
It occupies my thoughts so much. Every single day I think about alcohol in some way.
If I do drink, I knock the first couple back, become tipsy, then gradually become more tiddly. This means I'm not as productive, jobs don't get done, I'm not as tuned in to my family or what's going on. I don't sleep as well, I'm tired and drowsy the next day.

Added to all this I have depression and am on Citalopram, have been for 8 years now.
I do daydream about what my life would be like if I could come off my medication and stay sober....i just keep sabotaging my efforts.
I turn 40 next year, I want to be living a sober life by then.

@Hangingover what about the social distancing element? Or is it a BBQ outside?

I'm sorry it's stressed you out, I have felt like that in the past. Have you spoken to any professionals about your anxiety?

what about the social distancing element?

You're allowed to have people over in this bit of Australia now. I don't know what to do

@Hangingover - does your DP know how you feel? If it’s making you feel so terrible perhaps he should go and you not? Are you able to get help for the anxiety? Sending you a big virtual hug.

@Hangingover, you don't have to go if you don't want to, an excuse will be easy enough to make.
You're early on in the sober life and sometimes protecting yourself and your sobriety will take precedence, by necessity.
But would it help to think about what, if anything, might make it possible to go? For example, taking a vegan dish - easy to sugggest this when it's short notice and often a relief to hosts... Agreeing with DH on a departure time, with excuse prepared and shared in advance... You driving so no pressure to accept an alcoholic drink... It might be that none of these strategies are enough to mitigate your feelings but it's a useful exercise to go through in your head. I say this as someone who has to force herself to socialise.

Boy the floodgates have really opened tonight. Still crying in bed but I guess it isn't really about the dinner thing totally. I suppose it's the acknowledgement that from now on I'm going to have to force myself to confront my anxiety sometimes. I knew someone that simply refused to do anything that triggered her anxiety and except for work she never left the house.
So many feelings and emotions, some legit, some insane.

Some insane ones include sustaining real or imaginary injury, being sick on purpose and going to find a bar before DP picks me up from appointment tomorrow afternoon and going on bender so we can't go to the dinner