Day 4 of giving up alcohol

[Saltypotato]

Hi all,

I am on another thread that started in Jan and is still running. We all started together and the support was immense, it was the only thing that got me through the first month. At the end of Jan/beginning of Feb I started having 'just the one' and we all know how that goes if you have a problem. The group are now at 100 days and whilst I love checking in they aren't at the starting stage I am at the moment.

Lockdown has meant I am out of routine and haven't had a reason to keep my drinking under control (no work, not driving etc) so after drinking every night since it began I ended up passing my last full bottle of booze to a friend a few days ago and making an attempt to give up.

That was a few days ago, I am just starting my day 4. It's been easier than I thought as there isnt the option of just popping out to the shop so I'm not taunting myself. I have got a bottle of vodka and one of gin in my amazon cart that I keep hovering over buying but its on a few days lead time so I don't want it to arrive when I'm a week in and undo my hard work. That thought is stopping me.

But we have to go out today for essentials and tonight I have a zoom call with friends in the "pub". I am really tempted to get something whilst I'm out and my brain is doing the 'oh you deserve it, its a stressful time' and 'you can just have two to join in' (from experience, I can't)

If anyone else is feeling similar or just started their journey into the wonderful world of tonic water please join me. Strength in numbers, right?

Love the new slogan @SophieB100
Clearer than Boris' message and undoubtedly more effective

Hi everyone, I'd like to come out of the shadows and join you! Day 8 for me which is good as I usually drink every weekend. Last Sunday I had another awful hangover so started my hundredth 'day one'. A PP said each day one isn't a failure, just another step closer and I took great comfort in that. In some respects, I think the fact that I drink like so many of the population ( Friday and Saturday night, not stumbling drunk, occasionally overdo it) makes it harder because I tell myself, "I'm only doing what everyone else does...." However, the fact remains that I never regret not drinking and almost always regret drinking. The thought of waking up feeling good is a strong motivator. I'm also going easier on myself and saying I can eat what I like for now instead! This Naked Mind on Audible is a godsend IMO so I will keep listening, taking it one day at a time and checking in with my sober app Thank you to everyone here as your posts have helped get me to day 8. Here's to staying alert to the wine witch

Yes, still staying alert here - despite everyone having large G+Ts on the family zoom meeting. To be honest it was only 2 of them but somehow that's what I kept focussing on. Anyway, resisted! So it's day 21 for me.
I never regret not drinking and almost always regret drinking.
That's very true Gimmeashake.

Hi @Gimmeashake 8 days is great, well done. Weekends are always hard, we are conditioned to thinking we deserve a drink at the weekends, we have earned it. So many ingrained messages from media, friends, everywhere - they may apply to people who can have 'a drink' but I can't, I need loads and then some. So ignoring those messages and people who can stop at just one or two is key. @EdwinaMay 21 days is great, well done you. Do you feel better for it?
I always watch what others drink, I remember being fascinated because my DS could make a can of cider last all night and she'd often leave some, and I'd think how can she do that? But lots of people can and I have finally accepted that I'm one of the few that can't and that's fine. @Teetotallyimperfect and @AvoidingTheWineAisle, thank you, and to paraphrase our beloved leader, we are on the downward curve, and it is dangerous territory, but if we all pull together we can beat the wine witch!

to all

Welcome @Gimmeashake. 8 days is bloody brilliant! Well done .

Day 21 is also bloody brilliant @EdwinaMay . On the G&T front, I’ve discovered ready-mixed cans of a 0% ‘spirit’ called Seedlip with tonic water, which tastes a lot like G&T. I got two cans in my shopping delivery today to try out and it’s pretty bloody impressive! I know ‘fake booze’ isn’t for everyone, but if you do fancy it I can recommend.

@SophieB100 - I also have to keep reminding myself that I am really not a ‘normal’ drinker. I’ve had my chances time and time again to prove to myself I can drink moderately and I just bloody well can’t. I might manage a civilised drink occasionally, but (much) more often than not, I don’t.

I was talking to a wonderful old friend of mine at the weekend, who quit drinking 10 years ago, and she said ‘I remember thinking people who nursed a glass of wine for an hour where fucking weirdos’ . Just about sums me up. I’d love to be a ‘one glass weirdo’, but I could sink a bottle of wine in an hour with ease...

I've seen bottles of Seedlip in Tesco, but it's very expensive, didn't know they did the mixers, I'll look out for it.
I used to go out to drink with 'normal' drinkers and watch them sip at a drink for ages, and I'd get a bit anxious and try to make mine last - that's not normal is it? Then I'd go home after only having a couple, and open a bottle to get my normal quota. And I thought that was ok, and now I realise they were normal and I wasn't. Accepting that has been huge for me.

I’m so chuffed. I had an online chat with a lifelong drinking buddy. She didn’t have a drink in front of her and I hadn’t got one in time. I thought about getting one but I didn’t. I’m so pleased. I didn’t have one with dinner either which is always my weak point. Well done everyone. I normally join these threads, post once and sink out of sight. Not this time!!

That is brilliant, @Haggisfish
These small steps are HUGE!

I have done that before too, @SophieB100 . And I spend the whole evening consumed by thoughts of how much I'm going to drink, if I've got enough, if I can suggest another bottle without looking like a lush, if I'm drinking too fast, if they've got more than me. It's not very relaxing!

I'm getting strong urges to drink and its driving me to distraction. It's not that I am craving the actual drink particularly, but at least once every day I will see or imagine a situation where people are drinking and I'll decide I'm going to start drinking again, but occasionally. I know that won't work, it never does after the first couple of weeks, so why can't I remember that when I get these ideas. I'm worried it doesn't bode well for when lockdown ends. I'm starting This Naked Mind tonight so hopefully that will help.

I've heard excellent reviews about The Naked Mind @Teetotallyimperfect Annie Grace has some good YouTube videos up, she explains about why moderating is so difficult, worth a watch if you haven't seen it yet.
I also have times when I think that I'm over-reacting to this and of course I can just have one little drink when I watch a good drama, or with dinner and I even hovered over the mini bottles in Tesco today and thought I'd just get one, then that would be all I'd have. But I know myself well enough to realise that I'd get the taste, then tomorrow I'd pick up a big bottle and I'd be back to square one. There's this bloody internal voice arguing with the wine witch almost incessantly sometimes. I try to ignore it, but it isn't easy, so I really do understand.
Well done @Haggisfish you did really well to ignore those triggers and you deserve to be chuffed.

I'm currently sat here with a home dye on my head, and I've cut two inches off the fringe I was growing out. So fingers crossed! I can picture my hairdresser now, glaring at me, I miss him almost as much as I miss the wine!
Have a good day everyone - and for those who are not posting anymore, I hope you're ok, and come back if you want to - we don't judge on here, we understand.

Evening all!

Sorry I haven’t posted in a few days. I’m not sure why?
To be honest I’m glad to hear others are experiencing cravings quite regularly, as I thought I was the only one banging on about it .
I actually had to work out what day I was on, which I think is a good sign! Anyway it’s day 23! Almost a month! and I’ve just realised I haven’t really had any cravings today or yesterday. Hmmm.

Right I’ve been threatening it for ages, I am going to buy the Naked Mind pronto!

@Ghostonthedancefloor,
Well done on getting so far, amazing. The cravings are a pain, but I find if I can distract myself it helps - I even folded the laundry tonight and emptied the bin!

We can do this!
Is my adult son's birthday tomorrow - so I've treated myself to a bottle of Rawson's Red AF to celebrate. He's 23 and built like a brick outhouse, towers over me, but he's still the 'little un' of the family!

Hope you find the book useful, I know it's helped loads of others with their recovery.
Take care all.

Well done @Haggisfish and @Ghostonthedancefloor! And happy birthday to your son, @SophieB100 (I’ve got a towering brick outhouse son, too ).

I love hearing all your updates - the good (always cheering) l...but also the bad and the ugly. It does help to hear when others are having cravings or feeling a bit crap, and sharing ideas on how to deal with it. Feels less lonely.

I’ve got a new routine over the last week or so of having a lovely bath with perfumed oil at wine witching hour (5-6pm for me). I sometimes take a posh glass of tonic and lemon up with me, and I just totally chill for half an hour. Definitely helping with the wine twitch and beating off the wine witch.

Have a nice evening everyone 😘

Hey everyone! Just checking in. Awesome to read all your updates. Some excellent progress being made all round! Day 22 here. Been ramping my fitness up and I’ve lost 6lbs. Took measurements too and I’m amazed to have lost two inches off my waist (probably a lot of the bloat from the wine!), and an inch off my thighs. Just gotta keep going. Feel really good and healthy at the moment and I’m not ready to give that up for the sake of a couple of glasses of wine. Don’t get me wrong, I know it would be the bottle but it’s only the first couple I’d enjoy anyway...I’d gulp those two down in less than an hour and then what? 3am wakey wakey accompanied by my old pals: dread, regret and anxiety. Not today... not today.

It's day 23 for me today, it must be that for you @Peaches2222, the lockdown helps imv. I'm retired and the days sort of run into each other. It would be hard to keep dry if i was socialising - we have a local gin tasting group who get together occasionally and try some of the dozens of flavoured gins. It's an excuse to get together, really - with booze. (Hmmm, booze sounds quite harmless and fun, I should have said alcohol).
I've lost 3 lbs but that's without dieting and with chocolate and the odd haribo! That's what I reach for to replace the late afternoon wine. I think the sugar helps to reduce the craving.
I will have a look for the Seedlip 0% @AvoidingTheWineAisle. Sounds nice and a bit more sophisticated than my cheap Lemonade.
I am feeling fitter @SophieB100, even just losing the few lbs makes me feel better, clothes are less tight. I have a problem with early waking whcih hasn't disappeared but is better, what is nice is not to have to listen to me berating myself for 'why did I drink so much' when I get up each day! Gives me more time to think about other things rather than when can I have my first, whether it's wine or gin, etc etc.
Well done everyone, keep it up!

Wow, I'm jealous that you all seem to be having such great gains. I'm not feeling that great at the moment but I think it's my diet that's the problem. So much sugar! I've never eaten so much sugar in my life! I'm sure I'd feel better if I cut that out.

Day 23 today.

peaches2222 your progress is amazing, you must feel fabulous. That is the inspiration I need well done.

Only day 2 for me but I do remember those fabulous benefits. Have a good day everyone.

Hi all.
Please can I join you? I am having a bottle of wine every night. I want to stop. Ive put on weight and dont feel happy with myself anymore.
Have you lost weight? Any tips for the evening cravings?!
I would love to be 23 days sober!

Lovely, positive update @Peaches2222! That’s some impressive weight loss. You, too @EdwinaMay. I am quite jealous of you both! 😆

@Teetotallyimperfect, I’m on day 30 and although I feel psychologically SO much better, I haven’t lost a single pound, even though I’m exercising more, as I am also consuming so much bloody sugar! I ate a whole family bar of chocolate yesterday. In two sittings. Literally wolfed it down.

It seems my attitude to sweet stuff is the same as it is to wine - why have a nibble/sip when you can gorge until you’re mildly nauseous/drunk? Bloody hell!

Ah well. Be gentle to ourselves and all that. We all deserve a pat on the back / soothing head stroke for our efforts so far.

Welcome @HedgeHogFoxBadger

The more, the merrier! Can’t say I’ve lost weight yet (see massive chocolate consumption above!) but I feel less sluggish and bloated and about 110% better about myself for going 30 days without a drink. I was easily sinking a bottle or two a night 4-5 times a week before, so it’s do-able. Come join us x

Evening all
Tucked up in bed with a bottle of alcohol free red and a slice of son's birthday cake!
Welcome @HedgeHogFoxBadger. We are all non judgy on here, and so supportive - I feel so much better knowing everyone understands.
Regarding cravings - it's the loads of sugar in the wine that we've cut out. Not only is alcohol addictive, sugar is too. Wine is full of sugar, so whilst we crave wine, our bodies also misses the sugar too. So, a lot of advice is to indulge the sugar craving if it stops the wine craving. Then, when you feel you've cracked the wine issue, move onto the sugar and start to reduce it.
I eat very little sugar anyway - I needed to lose weight a year ago, and cut out all sugar (except wine). The weight loss was good and steady, and now I rarely eat anything sweet - tonight's birthday cake is the first cake I've had for months and months. You do lose the taste for it, but it is soooo hard because we get addicted to it. I would definitely tackle the drink first, then start to look at reducing sugar in foods. But don't worry - it will fall into place. I did it the other way round, so it helped because once I had reduced the sugar I ate, I was halfway there - I don't crave sugar at all now, but the first few weeks I cut out sugar it was awful - headaches, tired, the lot. So pick your battles.
@Rupertpenrysmistress well done on day 2 - I know how hard it is to pick yourself up - I really do. We've missed you!
Glad you're feeling better @EdwinaMay 23 days is great! @Peaches2222 well done on day 22 and the weight loss - so motivating, makes it all worthwhile to feel good, and inspiring. @Teetotallyimperfect You'll feel better soon - and you should be proud, 23 days is amazing, and your eating can take a back seat for now - enjoy what you've achieved.
@AvoidingTheWineAisle Does your brick outhouse grin down at you when you attempt to tell him off too? and eat you out of house and home? Mine eats three rounds of cheese on toast whilst he's waiting for his dinner to cook...wouldn't change him for the world though. And 30 days! Wow, get you! Brilliant.

So, don't forget to stay alert everyone! If the wine witch starts bending your ear, knock her into touch.

@Teetotallyimperfect that's frustrating for you but honestly, I suspect your time will come, you just need a little longer for one of many possible reasons. I have been reading a lot of 'quit lit' and there are so many responses to initial sobriety. Some people report feeling bloody awful, exhausted, crap etc. But, it seems to be like a hill to get over and you'll reach a point where you see the summit and it suddenly gets easier. I'm curious as to how we will feel at day 90 as I understand that this is when a lot changes as the alcohol is completely out of the system, physically and psychologically. Anyway, keep going, I'd love to be at day 23

Welcome @HedgeHogFoxBadger

Welcome to our wobbly world of sobriety HedgeHog . When I say wobbly I mean my world wobbles - but lots of people here are doing great and have weeks and months AF under their belts! The witching hour is the worst. Keep yourself busy. Having dinner earlier and keeping lots of nice AF drinks chilled and ready are tips I’ve found helpful. You have come to a good place.

@iamyourequal I like ‘wobbly world of sobriety’. Brilliantly describes it!

We are very good at coining a phrase or slogan on this thread, aren’t we?

How is everyone this evening? I'm on day 11 now but I don't find weekdays hard as work stops me from drinking - the real tests are weekends and holidays.... I've put lots of nice plans in place for this weekend and will buy some soft drinks and nice food. Planning ahead helps and I know 5pm is when I get the wine twitch... I listen to a bit of This Naked Mind or similar each day and it keeps me on track. Here's to all of us waking up refreshed tomorrow