Wankerbastards standing together. Moderatin' may take a hit while around us things are shit. But we stand arm in arm, heart to heart but a respectable 2 meters apart.

[Frouby]

Thread 10 for the tryers.

All welcome for support and tips and chat about controlling our relationship with alcohol.

Previous threads knocking around.

No rules except we don't do politics about the C word. And because there is so many other C word chats we ask that we limit mention of it once a day for things that are worrying, followed up by a positively Pollyanna point about something nice about the situation.

I might buy myself some new loungewear. If we’ve got to save the world by sitting on the sofa, might as well do it in comfort.

Good plan NC4!

One of the things that’s making me happy is no bra. At all, as I’m not going out. I may never go back tbh.

Freeeedom!!!!

Day 3 confinement
We are all still speaking to each other and still having a laugh . The garden is weed free thanks to the DC. One gîte decorated the second starts tomorrow. It is like living permanently in a Sunday nightmare (without the shops). We never know what day it is.
I went to the supermarket today first time since Monday, except for chicken lits if fresh food still available. Not much pasta or rice.
Lots of wine, though 😂😂😂
We are so lucky, how people in cities in small apartments are coping I can't imagine.
We no longer have the right to do sport, just run 4km max in the countryside and stay within 2kms of the house.
Neither my me or my dog are respecting that rule 😳😳

Ahh madame am glad you are coping. I am glad we seem to have had a reprieve for a few days at least. Hoping it's enough but doubt it is.

Curry was lush, at least with some time I can experiment a bit depending if we can get ingredients.

Am nipping to B and Q tomorrow morning with dd before it gets busy to get paint dor her room and for ds room. They don't really beed doing but they will both spend so much time in them over the coming months they may as well be neat and tidy.

Very not dry here. Drunk steadily since 4pm but finding it hard to care right now.

Ah frouby I know what you mean. Seems a bit pointless at the moment. X

Gloomy and not AF.

I went for a bike ride this afternoon. It was quite nice really. The fresh air did me good. I didn't go very far but as I haven't ridden a moving bike for about 10 years it was very brave.

Then I found some of my friends, having a fire in their garden, everyone spaced out by a good six foot, so I joined the for an hour or so. I think that was OK. TBH I've seen them all week anyway, while we've been building up to this. It felt very borderline though, so I didn't hang round for long. Long enough to have left not AF though.

I think sales of booze will skyrocket through this.

Also not AF but would suspect I would be a lot more gloomy if I was sober.

Had a fall out with dh earlier about the amount of fucking stupid shops he wanted to go to today and told him if he wants to go fucking gallavanting then he can swap with my mum, she can come here and isolate with me and kids and he can stay in her flat and look after her cat and Guinea pigs. Or me and kids would go to mums and he can look after our animals.

Hopefully it's got through to him. Fucking actually praying for full scale shutdown on Monday and sites closing so I can ground the fucker.

The UK is actually ahead of deaths compared to Italy and the number of cases. I think (hope) a lockdown is imminent for everyone. I can't believe that the shopping centres are still open.
Day 4 here, got lots done, grass cut again, cleaning, every day is like a Sunday. French government have really messed up not doing enough tests and there aren't nearly enough hospital beds to cope.
Am still running (a lot) more than the 2km per day legal limit. I'd go mad if I live in the city. There was one guy in Toulouse who ran a marathon on his balcony, 6000 return trips.
Cabin fever hasn't set in yet, but definitely not AF. Good luck to you all, I think confinement with fines if not respected will be necessary, as it has been here.
And all the rich Parisiens have gone to their second homes on the coast to propagate the virus as much as possible. I hope it isn't the same for Londoners and Devon and Cornwall.

I am going to go quiet for a bit. I can't cope with any more bad news, talk of lockdowns etc.

I think Covid 19 will kill people with MH problems who can't face the thought of isolation, as well as people who are physically vulnerable.

Assuming I get through this, full stop, I will not be getting through it AF.

Dion dont go please.....I'll leave, you aren't in lockdown and just because we are in France it doesn't mean you will be in the UK.i shouldn't go on about it all the time.
Hopefully it will be over before the summer.

Hey Dion, don’t go lovely. We are all here for you. Sending you a whopping hug darling. Life is so scary right now, and I agree it’s really affecting those with mental heath troubles. But we can hold each other through this. We are in it together darling x

My ds and his gf broke up Thursday after 3 years together. They wanted to marry etc. He’s so devastated. And he’s 7hrs away from me, refusing to isolate so can’t come home to me. It’s killing me hearing him cry on the phone and I can’t hold
him. He’s alone and I can’t get to him.

Frouby..I want sites to lock down too. Dh is still insisting on working which is a bloody nightmare considering I’m trying to isolate with dd’s who are both at huge risk medically!!

Not AF but hi Flossie and please don’t go Dion xxxx

Hi water. Deffo not at either. What is the point of being right now...

Dion
Don't go
I totally agree 're the mental health. But you need to keep talking
Can you get out today for a walk it bike ride?
X

dion don't go lovely. Its all absolutely terrifying I know. And I am as worried about the dcs mental health as I am about my physical health. And I am pretty fucking terrified about my health I will be honest.

What is it that scares you so much about lockdown? For me it's the kids, especially ds not being able to go for walks etc. And also being stuck in for weeks with dh who is right royally getting on my tits already.

Shall I send him to your place to keep an eye on your teens and you can come stay with me instead and we can do some serious damage to my gin stash!

Wasn't dry last night. Had half a bottle of wine which was a lot more moderate than previous nights the last week or so. Watched that stupid fast and furious film with the dcs and dh. Ds absolutely loves that Dwayne bloke, the big lad out of jumanji. Bit sweary for ds but warned him if he starts swearing he can write the word a 100 times for home schooling. He then asked if bitch was swearing because I said that ddog was a bitch when asked the other day walking round the lake. Sigh.

He's going to go back to school speaking french ( dd is teaching him) and swearing like a navvy. I try not to in his presence but fuck it, at least swearing is safe.

Going to pop and see my mum and drop a card and chocs through the window. Then do some gardening and allotmenting. Still unsure about going to the ponies. Yard owner is high risk as a carer in the community. Can avoid seeing her but she has to handle mine twice a day, touch stable doors etc. They are being turned out at the end of the month which will minimise contact with anyone so might wait until then x

Sorry folks. I realise that my post sounds very passive-aggressive and "oh please beg me to stay" ish. I didn't mean it that way. I'll try to explain the problem.

When I left XH, I was in a very bad state, as were the DC. I was on anti depressants for a while, saw a counsellor etc (as did DS - DD refused). It has taken five years to reach a reasonably ok state, albeit with some massive setbacks. My relationship with DP is difficult. It is as a result of all this that I drink too much - it is a coping mechanism (though I realise it's actually a hindrance when it comes to coping).

The main ways I have found some equilibrium are:

Physical exercise. I can't do this at the moment due to an injury.

Seeing friends in real life. Having hugs and real human contact with them (sorry - that sounds very Nethuns).

Going out to work. I love it. It gives me purpose, as well as an income. There is now no work to go to, and no income.

Seeing DP. Having sex with him, after countless years of celibacy within marriage.

Having time completely on my own, to recharge.

As a result of this disease, I can have absolutely none of these things.

DP is 200 miles away, still going to work, decidedly not socially distancing from any of his friends, but very much distanced from me.

I am sharing a house the size of a tent with two teenagers. We are in one another's space the whole time. We have to queue for the bathroom/loo.

These are the reasons I am so upset about by the talk of lockdown. I do appreciate, though, that it would be a good thing for many people, and for people I care about, and I don't want to be a wet blanket for those people. The truth for me, though, is that I am staring into a chasm of loneliness and depression which is more likely to end badly for me than a dose of Covid would.

As I say, though, I know that some of you (Flossie in particular) have very vulnerable people in their families who absolutely need protecting, which is why I am not going out. It just feels that my world has shrunk to the point where I can't go out because other people need me not to (and there's now nowhere to go and nobody to see, anyway), but that doing the right thing will send me down a very bad and dark route.

Sorry this is very long. I just wanted to explain in a way that didn't sound like "oh poor me, please tell me to stay"!

Ahh Dion it really is rough, and everyone's world is getting smaller. I think the only way is to try and adapt and find things you can do.
How limiting is your injury? Can you get out into the fresh air at all? Nature is very healing.

I think I've decided that music, fresh air and limiting social media are the only way to get through this. But we will.

I'm still a bit unclear on the advice about mixing outdoors - they seem to be saying its ok to use parks as long as you social distance. I don't think I'd be keen on my kids playing on shared equipment if they were still that age, but the bits you don't touch should be OK, I think?

Dion, it is tough, I know. 💐

I’m awake with period pains so have taken ibuprofen and hope I’ll get back to sleep in a bit. Had wine with lunch yesterday and consequently fell asleep on the sofa from 3-7 which meant I struggled to sleep last night anyway. I’ve had 2 hours so far.

I’ve decided to be AF until 1st April. I’ve been drinking like a fish and it’s not helping with the anxiety (omg, as we know, how many times do I need to prove it to myself?!) so I think I need to get back to being AF in the week, to getting outside once a day, to eating decent food and to going on the treadmill. All self care stuff!

We FaceTimed my mum, that was nice. I hope everyone had a nice Mother’s Day. Or as good as possible in the circumstances.

Nc4 agree about it being a good idea to limit some social media - although I have laughed a lot the past few days, the memes have been hilarious - I think I’m going to avoid newspapers for a day or so, it’s not helping.

dion

It's very very difficult and the reasons you have for feeling the way you do are valid. I am terrified of what this is going to do for the mental health of my kids.

Please please get outside regularly. Go for a walk, go for a drive. Anything at all to get out of the house for a bit. Arrange to meet a friend even. I went to my mums yesterday and had a coffee outside with her 3 meters apart. It was lovely. Get involved with a volunteer group. Befriend a neighbour who is vulnerable and do their shopping. Maybe even apply for a job.

You don't have to completely isolate yourself. Put dp out of your mind and concentrate on yourself and your dcs and your community. These are extraordinary times and there is a part for everyone to play. You are worth more than wallowing in the house. It might sound harsh but you absolutely need to take control of the things you can control and do it now.

I had a reasonably good day yesterday. Not dry cos mothers day. Dd was a baggage over washing the pots but ds was sweet about it. Other than that it was good.

Today I am going to do some school work with ds, blitz the house and go to the allotment and go for a walk with the dcs. Also set up a laptop for each of them and apply for some extra funding for me through uni, god knows I will need it when this is over.

I won't be dry. I ought to be but it's the only thing getting me through it but am switching to gin and slim before I end up panic buying fat clothes.

Dion have you thought about teaching english online? I've contacted a few companies and some are looking for teachers, particularly anglophone native speakers. Pay not brilliant but you can do it from your house so no travel costs.

Water good luck if you manage to be AF. In France the virtual apero every evening is meaning a lot more people are drinking now! But no-one seems to care, when you are shut in all day it's nice to have something to look forward to.

Frouby the weather forecast is nice this week so make the most of your allotment. The mental health of my DC is fine, they keep going on about teenage angst on the news but I think it is worse for adults. You have to keep positive for the DC and that isn't always easy.
It will be worse from tomorrow as I think regulations will be tightened - I'm sure we won't be able to leave the house to exercise anymore. I'll have run round the garden 50 times which won't be quite the same thing as enjoying the lovely countryside. The fines here have increased to 1500€ for a second offence and prison after. On the upside, I've found out how to do just a weekly shop and be more organised about meals.
Very definitely not AF. I like my home a lot but even so...

Dion this is unprecedented and such a low blow. We must all stick together and talk. We all know drinking isn't the answer but have no other.
I drink as my sister was killed by her partner who then killed himself. I can't get over it.
But read something about coronavirus and underlying health and one factor was liver problems. Not been tested so no idea but know i/ we are at risk.
We must love, value and help ourselves and each other.
We are worth it. Xxxxxx

That's it for me.