Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

I have a real issue with wine, never can only have one glass. There’s no way I’m going to allow that to happen again, just awful beyond words. I didn’t used to be like this, it’s crept on me over the years. I’m really resolved to stop for good now. All the stories have been so encouraging, I feel like I’ve let the side down. Thanks for your kindness, it means a lot. X

Oh Nickie, you poor thing.

This could be, I think, many of us.

Alcohol is a bastard. It promises so much but actually takes away everything. Including dignity.

Start again. One foot in front of another. We’re here.

Glad you found your way across to the new thread @Nickynackienoo 😘

No flaming from me either, you've learnt your lesson. Try not to torture yourself going over it (that's what I used to do). Move in and try to accept moderation just doesn't work too well right now.

I'm still plodding along AF and have no desire to drink funny enough. I kind of know one wouldn't be enough for me so I just can't go there!! This blooming storm needs to calm down 😱

Hope everyone is doing well this weekend despite the awful weather.

Well the windy made cleaning out the car all the more unpleasant. Plastic bags flying all over the place and me scraping vomit out of the window seal 🤢I bet I’ll never forget this day! Thanks everyone for all the support, I wasn’t sure whether to post or not but I’m glad I did. I’m just reading the book by William Porter, Alcohol explained. It’s really interesting. I’ve got quite a collection of Quit lit now!

Myboys - funnily enough, this friend is actually really funny and mega entertaining himself. I do wonder whether he feels as though he has to drink or else HE would be boring. You're right - there's always some kinda projection there!

Nicky - in a way, it was a great ending to your alcohol life - you sure won't miss the aftermath of those kind of nights! The only way is up, and you can do it.

No flaming, blaming or shaming here, Nicky , just so glad you felt able to share.

Day 42 here, and feel like I have turned a corner. I'm in a good mood, and have achieved 2 fasting days and 3 swims in the last week! I allowed myself January to slob around without any attempt at self-improvement other than not drinking so February is about picking up other strands.

Hope everyone is weathering the storm, outside and in.

Similar here, @Drybird2020. I got a real boost from sticking to Dry January, so have added in keto and intermittent fasting. I barely know myself!

Well done to both of you, that’s quite impressive. I think exercise is a great mood booster too so that will really help with a positive mindset. I’m managing gym once a week at the moment. Would like to do more though but motivation a bit lacking!

Agreed, Nicky, there is such a clear and obvious connection between physical activity and mental wellbeing.

Brilliant work Dry and Sparkling! Must feel like being on a high! (a healthy one).

All ok-ish here. Feeling bit emosh and sad still at the moment, but I know it will pass, and I've no cravings or intentions to drink just now.

I was on a bit of a high yesterday, Pamela, but tbh most of the time I feel like crap, but I have five stone to lose so need to keep on. Dry January was definitely a very positive turning point.

No booze for a whole month is a very positive achievement - you should be proud

Hi everyone! I've just discovered this thread. I'm 19 weeks pregnant with my first baby. My sobriety date is January 21st 2019, I have recently celebrated my first sober year! It's hands down been the best year of my life, but hasn't been without it's challenges. I struggled for years to quit drinking using my own will power alone - it was impossible. I've had a problematic relationship with alcohol since I first started drinking - I had my stomach pumped at 17, and it kinda rolled from there. Don't get me wrong I had a lot of fun over the years - but there were always consequences and those consequences gradually got worse and worse. So I decided to get help. I found a therapist, joint AA and discovered Buddhism - this combination has saved my life, a life which now looks completely different. I never thought I'd be able to have a baby, it's a real gift of sobriety and I'm passionate about practicing sober, mindful parenting. What's been really helpful for me this year is building up new group of sober mates and a strong support network. My sober mates quit the booze in a variety of different ways, many of whom now write blogs, articles and run sober events. I also help out with admin for small closed Facebook group called 'Sober Mum Club', I'm going to be sharing alot of event info and sober meet ups in that group which I thought might be of interest.

Hello, @thatvegangirl, congratulations on your sobriety - and your pregnancy, what a wonderful reward for you!
I'm realising the difference a sober community makes, thanks to this thread. It has been so much easier to quit with this as a resource. I don't use Facebook personally, but I'm sure you'll get plenty of interest from those who do. Please come and post here sometimes if you have time 😊

Hi All. How’s everyone doing?
Congratulations on your pregnancy thatvegangirl. Your story is very inspiring. It’s great to hear from people months into AF success!

I’m back on this thread, as my venture into ‘moderating’ during February has been a failure. I have managed to curtail my drinking to wine only (used to have vodka and beer first!) and I have been successful at limiting my drinking to 2 drinks of an evening, but here is the failure: I’ve had a drink 8 out of 10 days in February so far. 😫. I was meant to have one bottle of wine a week, which seemed fabulous compared to January’s zero a week. But it seems if I have had a drink the evening before it’s almost impossible to resist having one tonight.
I hope you will manage to welcome me back. Back to square one....it’s so depressing. My DH thinks I’ve done great as I’m drinking 20 units a week instead of 30-40 but that’s somewhat missing the point isn’t it? I want to be someone who doesn’t want to drink, not someone constantly trying to reduce what they do drink. Sorry to be on moaning on a bleak Monday. I just can’t believe I’ve fallen off the wagon so quickly.,.

@thatvegangirl. That’s lovely news that cheered me up. Congratulations on your pregnancy. @iamyourequal I’m with you there when you say how disappointed you are, see upthread for my awful fall from Grace at the weekend. Moderation just not possible for me either. So upset still about it, and my poor poor children seeing it all. Onwards and upwards. It sounds like you’ve done so well. I think maybe the longer you manage it a dry period, the longer you’ll do next time until finally you can quit for good. That’s my hope anyway and the previous posters are proof it’s possible. Keep positive if you can, I’m sure you’re stronger than you think.

Love seeing how many people are here still!

I didn't stop here, but I am still going at 6 days away from the 5 month mark.

@Drybird2020 I read about your friend and the Doctor on the last thread. So disgusting. Some GP's these days are so poorly educated about addiction it's scary. I had to stay with my GP through the process for ease, but afterwards reported him as did my counsellor. 1) He gave me anti depressants which contradicted the terms of the detox he was overseeing medically and made me very ill. 2) He repeated told me I didn't really need the detox, and certainly could cut down far quicker than those silly people (who do it daily) were telling me. Just stop he says, you'll be fine.

Down right dangerous.

No particular update from me, just plodding on at day 40.

It is the longest I have gone without booze since I was about 18 though, so knocking on thirty years, which is quite a thought.

I have always been a bit of a late bloomer, though

I’m afraid to go to the GP as it will show up on my medical records. I can get counselling through work though (public sector) so I might try that. Well done Sophocles, 40 days is great. I managed 38, but aiming for forever now! Not too ambitious then 😁 I’m feeling a bit more positive today. I’m looking forward to a completely sober life and all the positive things that will bring.

I wouldn't go to the GP if I could help it @Nickynackienoo as it'll be there for ever and will affect eg life insurance, job applications and god knows what else.

Day 61 here. This nice weather is making me think a glass of rosé would be nice - think I'd better read some more quit lit and brainwash myself against such feelings.

Morning all.
Well done everyone, it's inspiring to read all your journeys whatever day you are on. I often think about the folk reading this thread who don't post and I hope this thread encourages some hope and strength on their path too.

Day 50 for me today, I am determined to carry on and stay sober and achieve this by not thinking too much about next week, next month or next year. I feel safe focusing in on the here and now, it works for me. Mindfulness has helped a great deal.

Hello to all the newcomers to the thread! Vegangirl - what a fantastic journey you have had! I'm not a FB user but power to you for helping other likeminded peoples!
Buddhism is something that intrigues me.

Onwards and upwards troops!

Well done on hitting 40 Sophocles, that’s great.

I jumped up thread and read your story Nicky. Fear not I’m sure we all have similar! Glad you are moving on in positive frame of mind. I’m going to stock back up on nice AF drinks today and plan early dinners (which don’t get paired with wine!). Happy Tuesday everyone.

I’ve been listening to the Annie Grace Podcasts in the car today. I quite like her voice, some of them are a bit annoying.

@iamyourequal, you're in the right place. I can't moderate either, so many of us can't.

Nice weather @Growingboys?! Horizontal snow here and roads full of slush.

So glad to hear of people's progress, I'm feeling like I've emerged from the very low patch that was January and I'm feeling more positive. I've found a liking for watching 1940s British films in my pyjamas by the fire - try it! 😁

No urge to drink, but god I'm feeling low and flat. Hoping it's just chemicals / hormones setting. I did two weeks dry, had a slip up and now on day 5