Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

Afternoon everyone.

Lovely to see more people joining.

I’m two weeks sober today, too . Feeling good, but yesssss also having sugar cravings. I’m eating sonething sweet every day, but hey, it’s not booze so I’m going easy on myself. I was easily consuming a couple of bottles of wine 4 or 5 nights a week previously, so a chocolate bar or some cake can’t be anywhere near all those calories or as full of absolute shit as what I was putting in to my body!

Thank you @SophocIestheFox and welcome to the newbies.

I figure that getting the drinking sorted needs all our attention initially. Dealing with issues around diet and exercise at the same time is a step too far. So I don't beat myself up over a piece of chocolate or cake. Things will fall into place when the time is right.

I haven't read the whole thread yet, will save that as a treat for later.

I only decided to give up 24 hours ago, but have been thinking about it for a while.

After an argument with OH on Friday night I realised that drinking sometimes makes me verbally aggressive. Sometimes it makes me soppy, often it makes me sleepy or forgetful. The next day I'm often embarrassed.

So last night was my first dry Saturday in over 40 years. Today I feel inspired, but think there will be tough times ahead...

Thanks for the welcome )

About a year ago , I ended approx 10 months of being teetotal (I got complacent and it crept back up slowly ).. anyway a book that massively helped me then is Catherine Gray’s The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. Sorry it it’s already been mentioned but it helped me so much - well worth a read !

@SausageCrush well done on Saturday night ! Just keep building it - I find a counter app really helps me (I use a free one called I Am Sober). I have basically realised I can’t really be my best self in a relationship unless I am teetotal !

@SausageCrush well done for not drinking last night.
@BunniesBunniesBunnies I'm more calm too! Not crying or stropping all over the place lol

@SausageCrush that’s are the kind of feelings I remember from drinking and I am in a much better place now than I was a few months back. It’s a horrible feeling waking up and realising and regretting your behaviour. It genuinely never happens now.

And I read the book too @Mikki2019. I didn’t particularly find the author that relatable to start with but she wrote really well and would recommend to others.

I've stayed up later than usual on a Sunday but I'll be clear headed in the morning, if a bit tired. It's so good to go to bed knowing that.

Hello and welcome to new starters and long-term sober posters.

Good morning and hello to new posters.
I am finding it really hard to get back into the non-alcohol life. One day at a time. With us all being at home, the early evenings are very dangerous. I'll be checking back in later to keep myself on track. Thanks for reminding us of the joys of sober bedtime. @Drybird2020

Ontheshingle I found the weekend hard. Just not enjoying things the way I used to. Of course everyone feels this to some extent right now, I don't suppose many people are exactly cheerful in a lockdown pandemic. But I'm not getting the satisfaction from the things that are still available to me that I normally would. I'm a musician and playing my guitar is normally a kind of zen-state for me - I guess you could say its my peaceful place - which seems difficult to access at the moment.

@Ontheshingle how did your day go? I know exactly how easy it is to trip up, and how it resets the desire to drink. I really feel for you. Are you marshaling your army of strategies to see you through the days?

@Mikki2019 I enjoyed "The Unexpected Joy" in the end but I wasn't sure for a while. She's so relentlessly chirpy! That does seem to be a characteristic of the quitliterati, or perhaps it's an effect of long term sobriety and we will all end up the same way. ..we'll find out in due course 😁

I'm back in here.. I was with you all at the very start! Needless to say I thought one glass won't hurt.. the wine played havoc with my head so I tried gin instead! Only two glasses .. boy do I feel shitty this morning! I can't drink, I lose my mind, I say things and don't recall what I've said.. I feel regretful the next day and it take ages to right myself again!! Today I'm pressing the reset button (I'm not ashamed to do so).. AF life it has to be. I'll get myself a comfy chair x

Welcome back @stoptherideiwanttogetoff.

It gets better, starting now. Be kind to yourself today. Take it one day at a time.

AF life is the best!

Good to have you back, @stoptherideiwanttogetoff. You're not alone, quite a few people have come back after an attempt at moderating. I had a few goes before looking for online support, and this thread had made all the difference to me, I've been sticking to it all year and feeling much better in every way. My current fixation is on avoiding complacency and the slippery slope it can push you down, I think I will always need to be vigilant.

That is in no way a judgement on what you have been going through. When I hear about people relapsing I think "there but for the grace of God". Some posters have been generous in sharing their stories and I'm hoping to learn from others' mistakes to avoid making my own (again).

Thanks for thinking of me @Drybird2020.
It was OK. it's just getting through that early evening bit - once I'm out the other side it's fine. But I'm continually shocked by how hard it is to get back to the mindset I was in of really not thinking about it, after only a few nights of very moderate drinking. For me it was a combination of day 100 and finishing my dissertation. I sort of let go of something.
I'm going back to the quitlit - sober mummy's early blog never fails to inspire, and I'm a fan of Catherine gray too.
Already been for a run in the rain today so feeling good.
Have a great day everyone.

@stoptherideiwanttogetoff
it sounds like we are in similar places. I look forward to an AF journey forward with you.

Hello again, just popping in to say thank you for the warm welcome back. It's that time of day .. the dinner will be cooking shortly and I'll be back on the cloudy lemonade tonight ☺️

Well done having the cloudy lemonade lined up, stop. I find eating something early in the evening helps too.

It's a fasting day for me so I'm in bed early ignoring the hunger pangs and looking forward to breakfast. Hope everyone is well and sober.

Morning all, I appreciate everyone's input to the thread old, new and the valuable experience of those returning.

I keep a diary and looked back what I was doing a year ago and I was worried about an overdraft that had to be paid back and drinking too much. I'm now debt free and alcohol free. It's been quite the transformation.

Good morning,
Enjoy breakfast Drybird!
How did it go with the cloudy lemonade stoptheride?

Morning all, up and as fresh as a daisy! AF evening and feeling far better for it. Makes me wonder why the heck I decided I could drink again.. when I read back over the past posts I remember how good I felt, how focused I was, how less anxious I had become.. not mention my glowing skin!! Hey ho, no good beating myself up, back on the road to recovery. Happy Wednesday all xx

That’s a hell of an achievement, @Ulysses
I’m struggling today, not directly with being AF, but just with general shitness. Finding it really hard to do all the basics like drinking water/fluids, showering etc. Bare minimum I have to do is care for a relative, am doing that and then zoning out for hours on my phone, and feeling shit. The adrenalin-boosted energy I had at the start of the pandemic had totally gone and I’m shattered. Very aware I’m lucky not to be stuck in high rise housing with small kids or any of the other particularly difficult situations people are in at the moment. Previously I might have indulged in some day drinking.

No intention of doing that now.

Sparkling, I've have a few crap feeling days too, have been making sure I get showered and do my hair - I have short hair and the kids kept joking I looked like I'd been elecrotuted most the time so thought id best make an effort😂 I can relate to what you're saying Drybird, coming up to 2 months and don't want to get complacent about everything now I've come this far.
Stoptheride- I haven't tried cloudy lemonade, might get some next time I go shopping, I'm drinking ginger beer when I need a sugar fix along with some fizzy sweets 🙈 hope everyone is ok today