Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

Would you believe I went for a run before breakfast today?! It's thanks to you lot influencing me to take up couchto5k! Another way in which this thread is improving my health 😊

Hang in there Sparkling. I so often feel so bloody bored of looking at my phone, don't know why I do it so much. Do you want ideas of other stuff to do or would that be annoying?

Well done on your run @Drybird2020!

Am feeling a bit meh today. 17 days sober and on the whole doing okay with that, just struggling with the whole lockdown/childcare/work thing.

Then I get alcohol cravings, but not like a normal person (say, fancy a glass of wine before dinner or a beer in the sun), but like the fucked up person I am, just craving lying down on my bed drinking several very large whiskeys, feeling all my limbs go numb slowly, but worrying about stuff.

I know that wouldn’t help me, that I would feel worse after, that it doesn’t fix anything, but I still want it and that sucks.

Sorry to be negative. Will pull myself together. Pathetic really.

But worrying = not worrying

Can I join please? I'm a bottle and a half in already this evening, and will probably not go to bed until I've had 2.5 bottles.
HOWEVER, I waited until 6:30pm to start rather than 12.

Hey @namechangeforthistobehonest, yes, join!!! Well done on waiting until 6.30, that can be hard!!! Imagine not drinking anything tomorrow, and waking up with a nice clear head the next day🙂

I’m in a bit of a grim mood right now but still I know I’ll wake up feeling sooo much better tomorrow for not drinking.

@namechangeforthistobehonest this totally would be me too if I hadn’t gone teetotal during this time . You can do it . Use this time to transform your life .

Urgh, I wrote a long message and then deleted it by accident. Thanks for your support, please don't think I'm throwing it in anyone's face, I'm just being honest.

Main points from deleted post were:

I am proud I waited until 6:30, since lockdown it's been an 11:20am start. Before lockdown, probably 4pm.

I've just finished 2 bottles of wine. 3rd in the fridge, I'll drink at least half of it.

I know that if I don't drink I'll wake up feeling and looking better. I'll remember to take off my makeup, maybe have a shower (I'm soberly OBSESSED with house cleanliness and hygiene), I'll brush my teeth. But that's not enough for me not to get pissed and not do it, I'm just impressed when I do.

I wet the bed this week, midweek, for the 100,0000th time. I am ashamed, but not ashamed enough to stop getting drunk.

I am not a great parent when I'm drunk. A couple of weeks ago when it was really hot, I fell asleep drunk on sun lounger ... woke at 5. Kids were
Fine thank god.

I love my children so much. Will I stop for them? No. I lobe my husband, but I won't stop for him either.

Just poured out and half way through the first glass of the third bottle

Read The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray. I couldn’t have stopped had I not read it I don’t think. You can do it . You really really can x

Are you enjoying it @namechangeforthistobehonest ?

I've started the sober book Mikki, probably half way though. She's had her point of no return in London, called her step dad who was lovely..... I'm just not sure that despite all my awful moments I'm there yet

@Growingboys yes. Of course. But I know I'll wish I didn't tomorrow.

Currently reading a book, going to fridge and asking for wine and reading and replying on Mumsnet

Morning all.

I’m feeling better this morning!!! So glad I didn’t drink last night. I’m really looking forward to Sunday when I will reach the 3 week mark. This is the longest I’ve had without going for a drink since pregnancy😱

@namechangeforthistobehonest could this be your Day 1? I won’t try to convince you as you need to decide when you are ready, but your life doesn’t have to be like this. You could feel happier and calmer and proud of yourself🙂 When you are ready to join us we are here for you🙂

@namechangeforthistobehonest I just started not drinking by following her tips for the first week- you don’t necessarily have to reach rock bottom. I went teetotal for a year and was happiest I have ever been (honestly !) and then started getting complacent here and there and could see a slippery slope in lockdown so stopped .

You could use lockdown as a positive - no
Social events to make getting sober more difficult !

@BunniesBunniesBunnies that's great progress, and the first month is the hardest so you have nailed three quarters of that.

I'm a big fan of quit lit too, @Mikki2019, it helps me to read how people managed at each stage I reach.

@Drybird2020 thank you for your message- I really appreciate being in your thoughts. I’m doing ok. Had a bit of a waver when I thought if I drink only every 120 days I will be only drinking 3 times a year. And I’d love a bottle of red! But we all know that once I start I wouldn’t want to stop.

I don’t have time for this but Club soda have a free online mindful drinking festival joinclubsoda.com/courses/sober-weekender/?mc_cid=32452a3701&mc_eid=2d04db4fdf#

Well done @Drybird2020! That's excellent - on Tuesday I ran 5 miles for the 1st time since December - convinced myself I couldn't do it so for 2 miles I had the demon on my shoulder trying to tell me I couldn't. I beat it lol.
@namechangeforthistobehonest - how are you feeling this morning? A lot of what you said resonates with me, about loving your kids or husband enough to want to stop. My answer would have been the same as yours. I ( god it sounds such a cliché sorry everyone) but think you have to want to stop. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Feeling fat and bloated and looking, well less than good, shall we say. Do you think you could maybe try cutting down a bit to start with? No sure completely stopping straightway is a good idea.

@StillDumDeDumming I'm glad you are around and OK. I've had a similar thought about once-in-a-blue-moon drinking, but talked myself out of it with the rational reasons that it would a) make me feel awful after cleansing my system for so long, and b) set up a desire to drink again and more often, which would be hard to resist. On other topics, how did you get on with getting your shopping, and did you move your classes online OK?

@jess3817 I'm so impressed that you can run 5 miles! I want to do that too. I loved it when I used to run regularly, I could eat what I wanted and still fit into my clothes. 😊

That club soda course looks good if anyone wants support with the earlier stages. 🥤 My current quit lit is Lotta Dann's "Mrs D is Going Without" and it has caused me to think about the distinction between getting sober and living sober, my head is fairly full of it but I need to organise my thoughts before burbling them to you all. 😉

Ideas would be welcome, @drybird2020, not annoying 😊

@jess3817 to echo your post to @namechangeforthistobehonest - yes think of your looks if your health doesn’t inspire you to stop. Have you seen these before and after pics???

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6343109/amp/Revealing-photos-happens-alcohol.html

Hello, checking in! Still going AF! Hoping the rain will stop so I can go for a run..! I need to get our as a distraction .. soon as H is home I'm planning my exit. Spent 6 weeks in the house with two boys not one day off, today I feel like coiled spring.

checking in to make sure I don't drink this evening. went for a walk in the rain and trying to meal plan now. I hope everyone has a lovely sober evening.

Stoptheride - your skin is water proof😂 I love running in the rain! Wind and rain no, rain yes lol.
Drybird- I'd need to keep the 5 milers up or eat less 😂
Ontheshingle- well done - I just did some yoga before we did the clapping outside the front door, getting quite into it now. What have you got on your meal plan?

Thanks to everyone for your messages.

I'm not ready yet, and I don't WANT to quit. Cutting down might work, but I also live in a city so going to the shop to buy another bottle takes less than five minutes.

Thank you to whoever posted the before and after pics.... the girl with the coffee cup looks incredible!! I know I'd look a lot better without wine, I'm only a 10-12 with, I'd be a slim 10 without, my face would be much thinner, skin better, and I wouldn't have the glassy eyes. I also have a problem where when I've drunk too much, I physically can't open my eyes for 1-3 days. That happens about once a year.

If you met me tomorrow morning, you'd not know this about me, I can present really well. Don't know why I'm telling you that really, suppose to give you an idea as to where I am.

Meanwhile.... two bottles down. Started at 2pm.

@namechangeforthistobehonest, I don’t think it’s fair to post on a thread for people who are committed to staying alcohol free when you are two bottles down. As the OP said in her first post, there are threads designed for people trying to moderate.

Also, as someone who’s dad is a functioning alcoholic, I can see so much denial in your posts. Have you asked for professional help and attended AA online? You might not be able to stop for your kids, but you can take up all the help available for their sake.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3698537-high-functioning-and-ready-to-cut-down-anyone-want-to-join-me

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3884149-Day-4-of-giving-up-alcohol