Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

Hello, can I join in here?

I haven't drunk in about a month now. I was very much your classic weekend binger - never one to drink every day or even every other day, but when I did I would go way overboard and end up messed up and regretful. I certainly did need to stop from a health and life perspective and for the first few weeks I was very glad to have done so, but now I'm feeling a sort of resentment creep in, with this lockdown situation - feeling like everyone else is drinking to relax, its not fair, etc. In the situation I'm in right now, it wouldn't be possible for me to drink anyway - I'm back in my home city with a parent for the duration of lockdown whilst working FT remotely, and we have various animals of different species that need careful management to all live together happily and safely, so I have to be very much on the ball all the time. Its stressful, and there's no end in sight. Of course I am much luckier than many to still be employed and healthy with a safe place to stay but I'm struggling a bit with the mental side.

I think I'm going to do this. Do you have a rule that means you can sometimes break the rule???

Welcome @iloveeverykindofcat.
@OhioOhioOhio I would say that's not a rule - the aim is not to drink. But that there is a generous and accepting atmosphere on the thread to those like me who have slipped up. I did 110 days, then had 4 days of drinking last week and am now back to building up my days (quite depressing to be on Day4 again and motivating to get back to where I was!). I hope others think this is a fair summary?
I have a zoom drink coming up with some friends tonight which will be quite boozey and have got my non-alcoholic drinks to the ready, but I'm expecting it to be challenging.

Hello!

Welcome to lovely newcomers. (I am a newcomer too though).

I am exhausted after a mad week. I am about to go and lay a blanket on the lawn and have a nap.

Thanks for the welcome! I wish I could remember the exact date I stopped so I could do days too, but it was all a bit of a weird few days when I'd overdrunk, got hungover, the covid lockdown came in, I had to change city and at some point I suppose I realized I can't be doing with this anymore! And I am certainly feeling healthier, just there's this little childish part of me that wants to drink to feel better, justifies that 'everyone' is doing it at the moment (obviously not true but certainly usage is up in general).

Hi I've been sober from alcohol for 9 years now, I'm 31 so was young when I first stopped. I found AA was the only thing to help me personally. I have a young baby and lovely partner so feel like my old life is that of someone else tbh!

Hi everyone,
Hope you're all having a good few days? I had to queue at tesco yesterday for 50 minutes, wow that was fun! ( usually get delivery)
Not done much here today, watched a couple of films and made a cake, have been for a 5k plod round the block wich was nice. Am letting the kids have extra screen time today because why not? Theye been good kids this week mainly, only a bit of whinging, and I like the peace 😂😂 bad mum alert

Hello all, it's been a glorious day here and I'm feeling perky! I so love my weekend mornings, hangover free and totally zen in the face of squabbling kids and domestic chaos (the first part is true).

Welcome to @iloveeverykindofcat (I do too) and @OhioOhioOhio. In answer to Ohio's question, I see a difference between aiming for abstinence but slipping up, and aiming for moderation, even if its just once-in-a-blue-moon drinking. Moderation is a valid choice for some people, but most people on the thread have tried, and it doesn't work for us, so abstinence it is. There is a long running series of supportive moderation threads in Alcohol Support.

9 years! That is amazing!" I will be able to say 9 years too. :)

I do not want to waste any more time drinking. it takes up so much time.

What plans do you all have for post lockdown? i used to be a serious traveller in my youth but have lost it a bit. I want to go for a long weekend to the channel islands when this is over. I also missed a cruise that I was supposed to take with family to celebrate a big birthday (It was cancelled and should have happened over easter). That would be nice too.

We should have been going to camping in France at beginning of July but have postponed it with the campsite owners until 2021. This would have been the 6th year in a row we would have been, the 3rd with my sis-in-law and her family. We all get on great but it is one of those ones where you go to the bar every night and start drinking at lunchtime. DH and his sister aren't big drinkers at least, brother in law is. I'd easily have 1/2 bottle of wine before going to the bar and then having another bottle and a half. Every single night. That will be a real test for me.

We have a vague plan to travel around Ireland if there is to be some kind of holiday this year. It's something DH and I have wanted to do since before we had the kids. DH is in the shielding group though so it doesn't seem likely. This year feels like a write-off!

Hi hi hi! Good morning all, I had managed to fall off the thread a couple of weeks back.

Have caught up now. Thank you to ontheshingle and sparklinglime for sharing your experiences around the “what-ifs”. So helpful - I am in a similar headspace and have gone back and forth a bit in the last week about “what if I had a wee treat of a glass of wine? What harm would that do?”. I want to and I don’t want to at the same time.

I’m closing in on four months now (116 days), and just finished a 21 day fitness pledge, so I think I need to find a bridge to the next milestone to keep my momentum up. Maybe I’ll just say “definitely no drinking until you reach four months” and then see what might be next.

Congratulations to ElsaCragg, six months is brilliant!

And welcome to all the people who are starting their journeys, it is great to have you here . My top tips are: log the days with an app (I use I Am Sober), don’t be afraid to use sugar to get you through the early days (I always had a bag of sweets on me to help ride through cravings), keep posting here, try the 30 day alcohol experiment, and the Andrew Johnson quit alcohol meditation thingy. I’ve found all of those helpful.

Morning all
I'm sure glad I dont drink now, my neighbour had music on full blast til 130 am next to the room my 5 year old sleeps in,wich was great. Not. Would feel 100 times worse than I do now if I'd have drank like I use to.
I've been eating alot of sweets this week. Have needed the sugar rush for some reason, haven't had that for a while
Hope you all have a good day.

My sugar intake has increased as well. I’ve started taking a wee teaspoon in my coffee again! I think I need some kind of fitness goal as well @SophocIestheFox. I’m hoping to get out today for a run/walk just get out the house!

Congrats Sophocles and Jess, it's good to hear from people further on who are enjoying life without regrets. Unfortunately sugar wouldn't work for me - well, it would in a sense but it would produce other anxieties. I have an eating disorder. Its under control, I'm barely underweight right now, but I can't really 'soothe' myself with food if you understand - its another source of anxiety to me. I'll probably have some maltesers tomorrow though after weekly shop.

@iloveeverykindofcat, I’ve also gone AF without increasing sugar or other ‘comfort foods’. In my case because I’m considerably overweight. I felt that the two went together, in a healthy life turnaround type way.

Christ, that sounded priggish!! Just meant to show solidarity ✊🏽

Eating disorder here as well- which actually I used alcohol to supress a bit. I used to be bulimic, now I eat 3 meals but bit serves. No vomiting.

I probbaly need to give these facts about myself deeper thought....

*big serves.

Hi all - can I join pls? Have given up a month today ! Feeling great ... Lockdown was a big incentive for me to stop drinking as didn’t want to be here without another adult , glugging away on wine . Have def notices am slimmer now and my sleep is so good ! Would really welcome a place to check in in case I get complacent .. x

Welcome!!!!!!!!!

Thanks @GreenTeaMug 😊
As for the sugar thing, straight after giving up alcohol your body needs to replace the sugar, I still eat a bit too much cake now but it's better than the vodka I previously would have been downing! I'm enjoying the sunshine too, it's funny how we learn to appreciate the small things more when sober. I have a 5 month old so I can never get bored at least!

And well done @Mikki2019 the first month is so hard! During lockdown too, I used to hide away drinking on my own on my days off so this situation would have been ideal for me Back then. I was a binge drinker, liked going to the pub with friends but ultimately preferred drinking on my own at the end.

@firsttimemum30 I was a secret drinker at home! Only had the odd night out, would only have 2 or 3 out, then try and get home early so I could drink some wine 🙈 when I say secret, no one part from my husband knows how much I use to drink. So its come as a complete and utter shock thay I've been able to cope being at home with everything as it is and not drink.
When I have a urge to have a sugar rush I tell myself at least it isn't a bottle of wine.

Sparkling it didn't sound priggish, I understood! Interesting that a few of us have had issues with food too. I definitely drank to decrease my anxiety in general but around eating in particular.

Hey all! Ohhh the thread is nice and busy!!! Well, as of today I am two weeks sober! It has also been two weeks since I last had a cigarette (I’m not a “daily” smoker but an occasional stress smoker, so during the early stages of lockdown this had gone up to about 10 cigarettes a week). So I’m doubly proud of myself🤩🤩🤩

I’m still too scared to think too far ahead (or too far back and feel ashamed by my actions and their effects on other people😢) but I am enjoying feeling happy and patient and calm in the present.

For example, I have noticed that this week I did not cry once (before I quit I would get overwhelmed and cry regularly).

Hope you are all doing well too!